Monday, January 14, 2013

1.      I am an 18-year-old cisgender female in the USA. I call myself panromantic and pansexual, but I’m probably more along the lines of panromantic androsexual, as I’m more sexually attracted to the men and androgynous women. Although I can see myself in a relationship with someone of any gender and sexual orientation, I have only ever been in relationships with cisgender men.

2.      My first time having PIV sex was when I was 16 with my boyfriend (18) at the time. We had sex in the passenger seat of his car on New Year’s Eve.

3.      Everyone had told me it was a big deal to lose my virginity and that it should be special. I was nervous and timid my first time. After it happened, I was hardly affected. I understand that it can be a big deal to some people, but to me, it was just another experience in life.

4.      I went on birth control pills shortly after losing my virginity. Not to regulate my period, not to help my skin. I went on birth control because I didn’t want to get pregnant. I got it from the Teen Health Center at my school. When I told my mom I’d had sex, she said she would rather I didn’t have sex, but she told me that if I am going to be doing adult activities, I had to make adult decisions. So birth control happened. I got an IUD last year for the convenience. That way in college I wouldn’t have to remember to take a pill every day and it’s very reliable.

5.      I have had PIV sex with 3 guys. The first one was a boyfriend, as stated above. The second was a really good friend of mine. We started off in a FWB type relationship, but over time we got closer and emotions were had. The third is a friend of mine that I met in college.

6.      I have had sexual contact (to fingering, oral sex, “third base”) with 6 guys (this number includes the guys I’ve had PIV sex with). I have kissed 7 guys, 4 were boyfriends. Just throwing some numbers around, probably unnecessarily.

7.      Between sexual partners 1 and 2, I had a 9 month break. During this time I had a boyfriend for 6 months. I didn’t crave sex until the relationship ended. I sought someone to have sex with as a hook-up or “fuck buddy” type relationship. I ended up getting to “third base” with a guy and we ended up not having sex. A few weeks later I began a sexual relationship with my friend.

8.      For the longest time I didn’t crave sex.   Then suddenly I needed it.  This sudden craving was surprising. I had never thought of myself that way.  Now even short breaks (as in a week or more) without sex are difficult.  Am I just horny all the time?

9.      I have never had the opportunity to have sex with a woman, but I have made out with 2 (kinda). One was when I was 12 or 13 and she was one of my best friends at the time. We had a sleepover, both said we didn’t understand the big deal about first kisses, and started kissing. It was fun and warm and soft. The other is my friend’s girlfriend. We kind of made out (more like prolonged kissing) in front of him a few times just for entertainment's sake.

10.     I have always been very confident in myself and my sexuality. I’ve always been very open to expressing my sexuality and intimate details about my sex life. I have very few things that I hold back. I like giving people advice and I answer almost any question people ask me about my sex life. I really enjoy talking about sex, and I think I often make people uncomfortable because I am so comfortable talking about a subject many consider taboo.

11.     I started masturbating really early. I think I was probably about 5 or 6. I remember touching myself and humping a pillow and knowing it felt good. I didn’t know what I was doing, but it felt good, so could it be wrong? I think I began consciously masturbating at about 12 or 13. The number of times I masturbate in a week varies a lot. Sometimes it will be once a day and other times it will be once every week or two.

12.     According to most of my friends, I’m a big flirt. I flirt with almost all of the guys I know even though I’m not sexually or romantically attracted to them. There are a few guys I know that I do not flirt with for various reasons. My “friend zone” is very small and difficult to get into.  A lot of my close friends fit into this category, though. I flirt because it’s fun. But I’m such an outgoing person that often my advances are taken as flirting versus me just being friendly and open. I am also a very touchy person though. I hug everyone and I awkwardly stroke my friends and hold their hands because it’s fun. I do all of this, but it tends to lead people on. I have rejected quite a few people, and I feel sad that the friendships I had with those people will never be quite the same.

13.     As open as I am about my sex life and history and the factual aspects of my life with everyone, I find it really hard to talk about romantic feelings with a person I am romantically interested in. Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? I should just learn how to tell people how I feel. It would make having sexual relationships easier if the people knew how I honestly felt.

14.     I have always liked the idea of casual sex. Sex without strings, not having to worry about the other person’s feelings. I think it’s an excellent way to let go and express oneself, but I don’t think it should replace committed relationships, as I enjoy having one person to have sex with as well as enjoy the company of. And there is something special about having meaningful sex.

15.     That being said, I don’t think I could ever truly do a “friends with benefits” relationship type thing and have it work long term. I’ve never had a “fuck buddy,” but I’m fairly certain I could maintain that kind of set up. I like the idea of having a good friend that you just happen to be sleeping with. But if I had an emotional or mental connection with the person, I would start to develop romantic feelings for him or her, and the sex wouldn’t just be casual anymore.

16.     The idea of period sex really grosses me out. I shouldn’t be grossed out by my own body, but for some reason, having sex on my period sounds unappealing. I have had sex while I was on my period ONCE, and I said “ew” the entire time. I doubt I will do it again (at least until I’m in a long-term monogamous relationship).

17.     I think having a threesome sounds fun. I don’t know if it’s a fantasy, but it’s something I hope to get a chance to do. I’d love to have the opportunity. I’d want there to be one man and one woman with me.

18.     I don’t have experience with bondage, but I think it’s really hot. I’m not into hardcore BDSM, but I’m really turned on by the idea of having my hands tied or being blindfolded. I really like the idea of being restrained. It sounds so hot, not being able to use my hands to touch and feel and interact. I like the idea of having to rely on other senses to feel what’s going on.

19.     I like it rough. Sometime I’d like to be pushed down on the bed or up against a wall and fucked. Have my hair pulled and my ass grabbed and my neck bitten and dirty talk whispered in my ear.

20.     I have never liked blowjobs. They just aren’t pleasant and not fun. But recently I discovered, while spending time with my friend, that I do like giving blowjobs if I’m in the right mood for it and if I have the right kind of connection with the person. Still not my favorite thing, though.

21.     I don’t like being eaten out (or haven’t in the past). I don’t know if this is because the one guy that has ever done it wasn’t good at it or if it’s because I just don’t like it. But I didn’t find it to be anything special. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it did nothing for me. I got bored.

22.     Anal is something that has always sort of scared me. I would be open to trying it at some point in my life, but I’m worried I’ll tear something. Plus the idea of fecal matter getting everywhere seems kind of gross to me. But who knows, I’ll never know unless I try it. One time a guy slipped and went “into the wrong hole.” It was excruciatingly painful and has further discouraged me from anal sex.

23.     Boobs are really fun to play with. But not very often does having my boobs touched turn me on, or feel like anything better than just having my boobs touched. I’d rather have my neck kissed and touched. I know a lot of people that think this is gross and weird, but it’s actually just really hot. I like having my neck sucked on. It feels good.

24.     I love the sound of people climaxing. It’s amazingly hot to hear a person completely let go in the heat of the moment. I don’t like the overly exaggerated sounds porn stars make, but listening to someone masturbating or having sex is a really big turn on.

25.     Finally... I’ve never orgasmed. Sex, masturbation, etc. all still feels really good, but I don’t get that mind-blowing feeling and the huge release that supposedly people feel. I feel a point where the good feeling reaches a maximum point before falling back down, but I can just sort of decide when I want/need to stop. I hope at some point in the future I will be able to experience the orgasm that everyone raves about.