Wednesday, April 1, 2009

[1] Sex and food are my two major concerns in life. I am unlikely to be interested in most other things unless they can be incorporated into these. I have a very easy time making most things sexual – it's accessible and one of the world's greatest metaphors.

[2] I believe in sexual abundance and have attempted to structure my lifestyle so that I can experience that within loving relationships. Therefore I may have more than one sexual partner at a time, all knowledgeable and consenting. This is sometimes exhausting, and I have yet to balance my sexual energy in a way that deals with that. I'm working on it and that work is gratifying.

[3] When I was really young (I've been having orgasms as long as I can remember), I would get turned on by the act of urination. The feeling of something flowing out of me was really erotic to me, and I would often find places where I could pee and then masturbate. 20 years later I taught myself to ejaculate, and since then I've found the unifying thing about these sensations – I just find sexual value in releasing fluid, in spilling out, like a glass overfilled.

[4] I've always been fascinated by the male orgasm. At first I found it hard to get boys / men to let me watch them have one, but now it seems that more and more will just get their dicks out for me. Thanks, guys.

[5] My lovers are mostly male, but I consider my tastes to be pansexual and pangender. I have some insecurities about 'queer enough' that have thus far prevented me from pursuing lovers outside my immediate social sphere, but I want to. I just have to figure out how. I'd like to have genderqueer and / or androgynous lovers. I'd also really, really like to fist a gay man.

[6] I too have a proclivity for 'novelty' sex, but I tend not to do those things casually. This has led to many a secret relationship, much drama and energy expenditure, and lots of disappointment. I have learned to check this stuff and I think I've moved on a bit from this kind of attraction with a mind for sustainability. I've fucked my dentist, a couple of bosses, the stepfather of kids I babysat when I was 15, his brother, my professor's ex-boyfriend etc. They make great stories but I really don't tell them much.

[7] I have no idea how many people I've slept with, and that's not because it's been particularly many – I just can't be bothered counting and have never seen that as any sort of yardstick. I also always miss people when I do try recalling, so I don't think my memory is solid enough to give a figure. What I can say is that I almost never have bad sex. I don't really think I ever have to.

[8] I've got whatever it is that Lolita has, whatever it is that makes older men feel like they can / should have me. There are lots of us out there, and I think we should start a sisterhood and maybe start charging for our services. Though I can't say we don't get anything out of it ourselves – I have benefited many times from having older lovers.

[9] The most intense sexual act I have ever performed is fisting a man. It is one of the most gratifying sexual services I can think of delivering, for both parties. Delving that far into something suspends you completely in time and concentrates sensation in a way I've not experienced elsewhere. I think some of my pleasure has to do with this particular person and his proclivities for that which is base and dark and carnal and deep and at the core, but I want to try it with other people and see if the appeal changes from person to person. I think it will. I also really, really like putting my tongue in boys' bums.

[10] Fucking on drugs is brilliant. I tried this with a friend on ecstasy about a year ago and it was earth-shattering. I went to another place with that one. Since then I've had sex on acid several times and I find that to be the perfect trip. It makes the sex more cerebral and you see more of the machinations of it. I'm into stuff like that.

[11] I know it sounds wanky, but sometimes I really do see sex as a medium for creating art. Sometimes people have really pretty sex, and the act of watching it is one of those things that transforms and evokes, and I am thoroughly convinced that there is some sex you could put in a gallery and call art. And I intend to make some of that.

[12] I am very occupied with the sense of uncontrolability, being unable to help something, wanting to pull back but not being able to. This is more in the context of sensation, not so much in a power dynamic or S&M context. I like seeing someone come against her will, and I actually think premature ejaculation is kinda hot sometimes. I just like the sudden overload of sensation that sends someone over the edge before they've had the chance to journey there at their own pace.

[13] My sex drive tends to be highest before I bleed, and sometimes during as well. I just feel totally full and round and bursting, which, obviously, is a theme for me.

[14] I really like to take it in the face. I like the sensation of someone's cum on my skin, and I like the anticipation of waiting for it, which makes it more prized and makes me want to get as close to it as possible. I also like to hold my thumb against a man's urethra when he's coming so I can feel the passage of fluid from the inside of his body to the outside.

[15] I have had the opportunity to document parts of my sexuality on camera, both in stills and in video. I've also had the opportunity to watch a whole bunch of other people do the same thing. This has definitely changed the course of things for me, but I still am not sure how. I think maybe it's partly about aesthetics, though – moving my very personal sexuality into the visual realm and having an audience for that. You think about how things look and you find beauty in them and learn how to make that even more effective. And you don't even have to put it on or fake things – it really is just beautiful how it is.

[16] That's a bit lucky, isn't it? Cool.

[17] I've had sex with a prostitute. It was a gift from friends, and they paid to watch as well, but I think I might also have given it a go of my own volition. I didn't orgasm, but I got close. But I think the sexiness there was much more about what was around me than what she was physically doing. It was an interesting experience, though I was a bit sleepy at the time and I wish I had been a little more alert.

[18] You know that fantasy of backing someone against a wall and pressing your tongue between their lips and grinding your hips against theirs? I only put other women's backs to the wall in that one. I think I tend to feel like the top in the sex I have with women, but I don't think it has to be that way – it's just that I'm still working out how I relate to them sexually.

[19] Lately I am exploring a lot of verbal sex. I used to think I was really bad at it – sexy text messages, emails, phone sex, telling sexy stories – but I might not be. I enjoy telling people what I think about them and how I experience their bodies. I also really like being talked to. Not so much dirty talk as storytelling (though I do enjoy a 'suck that fucking cock' from time to time). I like to masturbate with my partner while he tells me a fantasy as he's having it.

[20] I hate really loud wet sounds in porn, though there are some exceptions to this rule. I particularly hate it in videos of masturbation. Too visceral, somehow.

[21] I can orgasm from giving someone oral, and without necessarily having any physical stimulation besides my mouth on someone's dick or cunt.

[22] I want to say that 'anything goes' in the world of fantasy, but I really can't deal with fetishes of race. I am open to some reading of them as OK, but I can't make one myself.

[23] A partner of mine once came in his pants – he was wanking through his jeans and not intending to come, but did accidentally. He came out of his room with a wet spot on his jeans. I found this ridiculously sexy and it still pops into my sexual consciousness from time to time.

[24] I get really turned on by images of large and fleshy labia. Particularly when they're resting on something. I think it's about protrusion – something extending out from the body, exposed to the air.

[25] I think this is a beautiful project of intimate sexual exchange and I like its prospective economy – if you take of it, you should also give. There's nothing to lose and it's a rare opportunity for completely anonymous intimacy and exposure. Do it.