Wednesday, January 27, 2010

1. I lost my virginity when I was 15 to a guy who was 16. We were both virgins. We’d been together for two years, officially dating for six months, and are still together and happy (I’m 18). We had tried having sex a week before we finally did, but stopped because we didn’t have a condom. Now we fuck almost exclusively condom-less. I enjoy skin-on-skin, but it scares me. I’m too young to be a mother.

2. I can remember masturbating all the way back to when I was in a car seat (maybe 18 months old). I’d rock back and forth, similar to the motion of girl-on-top, whenever my family went on road trips, then eventually when I was alone in my room. I’ve always done this, and it wasn’t until I was maybe 12 or 13 that I realized that it was, in fact, masturbation.

3. I get random moods where I just want to give blowjobs. I don’t know why this is – it’s not even that I’m horny. I just want to feel the head of a penis in my mouth.

4. I often get girl crushes. The most I’ve ever done is kiss a girl, but I love breasts and women with nice asses.

5. I didn’t realize that I was attracted to the guy who is now my boyfriend until I thought about him when I was masturbating.

6. I really, really love having sex in public places. Nothing is sexier to me than being overcome with passion and knowing that we could get caught at any time.

7. I’ve always been a bit of a secret exhibitionist and got off on the idea of someone looking at my body. When I was 13 I stepped out onto a hotel balcony naked for about ten minutes. It gave me such a rush.

8. I’m attracted to criminals – specifically serial killers. I don’t know why. Ted Bundy is my cup of tea. I’m really scared I could become a groupie.

9. When my female cousin and I were young we used to pretend that we were getting married. We would always kiss and then dare each other to get naked.

10. I was molested when I was around 4 or 5, but I didn’t realize it until I was a teenager. I don’t think I repressed the memory because it doesn’t really bother me today. The only reason I remembered was because my cousin was there as well and we realized what happened together one day. My aunt had a male friend who would often make the two of us come sit on his lap, and one time when all the other adults had left things definitely got out of hand on his part. I’m sort of worried that since this didn’t scar me something’s wrong with me.

11. My best friend is a shy guy who’s a virgin. He has a girlfriend but she doesn’t seem interested in anything other than kissing. Ever since they started dating, I’ve become extremely jealous and fantasized about dominating him. I would never do it because I couldn’t do that to him and I couldn’t do that to my boyfriend... but I think about it often. The thoughts make me feel like a horrible person.

12. The time that I had sex the longest both my boyfriend and I had been smoking marijuana. We were randomly outside in someone’s shed in the middle of the night. We went at it for four hours. It was worth it.

13. I AM a girl who loves porn – but I only like to watch porn with women in it. I don’t know why this is. I find their bodies luscious and the only penis I’ve ever really found aesthetically pleasing is my boyfriend’s.

14. Semen has always tasted like pennies to me.

15. I can’t make myself cum with my fingers.

16. My boyfriend cheated on me. Once. He didn’t have sex; it was a random blowjob when he was drunk and he hadn’t gone looking for it. He regretted it afterwards. His friend told me, and my boyfriend doesn’t know I know. I think it would hurt me more to tell him than it hurt me when I found out. I have never discussed it with anyone but the person who told me.

17. I fantasize about rape. I have never told anyone.

18. I feel sexiest when I haven’t eaten and can feel the hunger in my belly.

19. I enjoy sexual tension more than I actually enjoy sex. Sexual tension could go on forever; sex eventually has to end.

20. I hate the whole vampire thing, but am turned on every time I see a man covered in blood.

21. I found my boyfriend sexiest when he broke his shoulder and had his arm in a sling.

22. I hate cologne. I love body smells – natural odor. That turns me on.

23. I love chubby men. Especially Jewish ones. With beards. I often get laughed at because of this.

24. The first time I gave a blowjob was in the back of my mother’s car. It was nighttime and she was driving. My boyfriend and I were alone in the backseat. I was bored, and we had a blanket overtop of us, so I whispered, “I have a bad idea,” and dove under. He was speechless for quite a long time afterwards.

25. When I’m attracted to girls, I often hate them. I find them perfect, imagine everyone else sees them so, and wonder why I can’t be like them.