Tuesday, April 19, 2011

1. I am a 25-year-old trans guy and I identify as queer, in terms of sexuality, gender, and politics. I've been on testosterone for almost a year. I am attracted to people of all different genders.

2. I've had sex with fifteen people. Nine of them were also on the ftm/transmasculine spectrum. I can't remember all the people I've kissed, but I've tried to make a list and gotten to about 60. I've had relationships with five people.

3. I "lost my virginity" when I was 17, but I was doing things when I was 16 that I would now consider sex. I lost my "queer virginity" when I was 20, while my roommates watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch in the next room.

4. I consider myself a switch, but I love bottoming. I like being bossed around, spanked, tied up, and slapped in the face.

5. I figured how to get myself off (though I'm not sure I realized what that was) when I was about 12. Since being on T, I jerk off now more than ever. I've always loved vibrators, but just hands are great too. I got my first vibrator when I was 15, as a Christmas present from the first girl I really had feelings for (she was straight, and a good friend).

6. Some of my favorite places I've had sex are on a banquet table in front of a mirror, between two trees at a public pond, and on a rooftop in New York City.

7. I have had orgasms that felt like spiritual experiences.

8. Consent is super important to me, and there's nothing hotter than an enthusiastic yes.

9. Part of that is because I'm a survivor - I had a boyfriend who raped me when I was 17, and I also had some kind of sexual abuse go on in my childhood, although it frustrates me that I have no clear memories of it.

10. Safer sex is also important to me. Unless I'm with a long-term partner and we've made that decision, I pretty much don't have sex unless latex is involved. The first time a (same-sex) partner asked me if we could use gloves, they were embarrassed but I felt really safe and valued. Being safe in a physical way makes me feel safer in an emotional way with someone.

11. I love fucking people with a strap-on cock. It feels like an extension of my body. I like getting blow jobs on it, too. But the part I like best is that I can take it off.

12. One of the most intimate things I've done with someone was fist them.

13. I'm polyamorous, and still figuring out what that means for me, but I know that monogamy doesn't feel natural or right for me. I like being able to let different connections with different people form, and being open to whatever might come along. I love the feeling of having sex with someone new for the first time, and want to experience that as much as possible. I'm both a slut and a feminist. But I also don't think I could be in more than one "serious" relationship at once.

14. I've never shaved all of my pubic hair, or been with someone who was completely shaved/waxed. I like hair on my partners - pubes, leg hair, armpit hair, and I think stomach hair is really cute (yes, on women too!).

15. Armpits are a turn-on for me - both touching others' and having mine touched - as long as they aren't smelly.

16. I've had a couple of experience with group sex, and I'd like to have more. I had a really fun threesome with my girlfriend at the time and a mutual friend on my birthday once. I've also been to a play party and would love to go to another one.

17. Being on T has caused several changes to my sexuality. I'm horny much more often, and I'm much more visual in what turns me on (more porn plz). I had to re-learn how to come, but it's so much easier now. And I love that my junk has grown.

18. I think sex work is fascinating and I've always wanted to do porn. Specifically queer feminist porn and/or BDSM porn.

19. I love asses. But I've only had a little bit of experience with anal play, and I wasn't hugely into it.

20. My first sexual experience (besides playing doctor as a young kid, which I did with both boys and girls) was with a good female friend. We got drunk (another first) during the day and made out heavily in my parents' basement. I was 14, she was 15.

21. I actually hate drunk sex - partly because drunk people can't give informed consent, and partly because it's just sloppy and hard to get off. I have had some good sex (with consent negotiated beforehand) while stoned, but I hardly ever smoke weed anymore.

22. I'm also not into penetration - although I enjoyed it for years. It's kind of all wrapped up in gender triggers, sexual violence triggers, and the fact that it just doesn't feel good.

23. As a young kid, I thought that sex was when a man peed into a woman's vagina.

24. I haven't been with a cisgender guy since I was 18, and I'm really curious about it. I think sucking cock could be fun.

25. I think the spectrum of human sexuality is endlessly fascinating. I hope I never run out of things to discover about my own sexuality. I dream of being a sex educator someday.