Wednesday, April 20, 2011

1. My first sexual experiences were with my girlfriend in high school (junior year). She remarked “you’re not staying gay long” after fingering me.

2. At that point I was convinced I was gay because of my feelings for my best friend.

3. My second meaningful sexual experience was in my first semester of university when I was the drunkest I’ve ever been. It was my first kiss with a boy, he refused to sleep with me and I only found out later it was because he came as soon as I touched him.

4. He later became my boyfriend and we dated through freshman and sophomore year. I lost my virginity to him soon after we started dating because I felt it was tedious to have.

5. We were extremely sexual and had excellent sexual chemistry.

6. Before we started dating I fooled around with many different guys. (Difficult to find queers at my particular university.) Just petting and jacking off.

7. I’ve only dated two guys, the first I mentioned and my current boyfriend. Those are also the only people I’ve fucked.

8. Only three guys have gotten me to orgasm. The two boyfriends and a male friend of mine who I fooled around with before I started dating my first boyfriend. He got me off by only playing with my breasts. Best feeling ever.

9. I started masturbating at a very young age. Accidentally. Whenever I came close I would stop because it felt like I needed to pee.

10. My current boyfriend was a virgin. I liked that because it made me feel things were fair.

11. I felt really guilty about sex with my first boyfriend. It was awesome but I'd always feel guilty afterwards. I don't feel guilty any more. I'm ashamed sometimes, but never guilty.

12. Something that always gets me off are fantasies about older men in power. I like that dynamic of an innocent girl being taken advantage of.

13. Other things that get me off include being tied up, spanked and "golden showers." There are more but I'm scared to admit to them.

14. I wanted to be a boy when I was going through puberty. I would use masking tape and tape down my breasts. I also shaved my head.

15. I only started liking my breasts after I had them pierced; I was 16 and a little troublemaker.

16. When I was dating my girlfriend we got in trouble for our relationship and making out in inappropriate areas. This was compounded by the fact that we attended an all-girl Catholic school.

17. I love my current boyfriend more than I loved my other partners but there's less passion with him. I feel it's because he's more emotionally similar to me. He wasn't like my other relationships where they loved me more than I could ever imagine. I feel the relationship I have now is more grounded in reality.

18. I still am attracted to girls. It's not something I will grow out off.

19. My current boyfriend also has less of a sex drive than I do (in my opinion). I enjoy sex daily. This sometimes causes problems between us.

20. I look at porn a lot, mostly the erotica/artsy stuff. I don’t masturbate to them, I just like the beauty in the images. Especially if they’re girls being tied up.

21. I have never and would never cheat on someone. I wouldn't be able to stand myself if I did.

22. There are only a very few times where I feel confident enough to fully enjoy sex, usually when I'm very drunk. The rest of the time I'm constantly thinking of how I look, smell and sound. It's incredibly annoying, but I can't get past it.

23. One thing that would improve my sexual life is to improve my self-confidence. Unfortunately I grew up a fat, unattractive girl, and although I’ve shed the weight and the awkwardness, I never outgrew the self-loathing.

24. I want to try anal but I can’t get over it being dirty. Plus my bf isn’t pushing for it at all. He’s lame like that.

25. I sometimes wish I could treat sex in a more disposable way. I’d like to fuck a bunch of people just to see how it is, but emotionally I couldn’t handle it.