Wednesday, May 25, 2011

1. I'm 30, female-bodied, and I don't identify with any specific gender.

2. I swear I've got a "phantom penis," and I can get off with it. Most people don't believe this. I don't expect anyone to because of this.

3. I've had sex with mostly men, and one woman. I'm apparently skilled at oral with both.

4. I'm not completely satisfied with being fucked five ways from Sunday (and I LOVE rough sex), I want to be the giver as well. I've started up a collection of strap-ons for this.

5. I was completely aware of what sex was at 8, and nearly attempted to seduce my then 15-year-old stepbrother into taking my virginity then.

6. Bite me, spank me, tease me... but leave the hardcore BDSM for someone else, please.

7. People who claim anal is the best thing that's ever happened to them confuse the hell out of me. I've had it, and either the guy was shit at it, or I'm just too sensitive in that general area to handle it.

8. I've had sex in public places, just out of sight. It was kind of thrilling, but I don't see the big deal. Sex is sex to me.

9. I've had men of all shapes and sizes - there is such a thing as too small, and most definitely a too big! Keep it fairly average sized please, and a little curve is a GOOD thing.

10. I do like boobs. That's probably the only part of a female body that's typically censored in the US that I'm willing to have at. That one time with a woman pretty much ruined me for going down on any other woman.

11. I never kissed or had sex until I was 19. I did, however, make my own homemade dildos out of plastic construction set rods, tissue paper, and a lot of saran wrap.

12. Despite how lax I am on condoms, I am still perfectly clean, and have never had a real pregnancy scare.

13. My ideal relationship is a menage a trois with two guys. Bi, preferably, so that when I need to be off on my own, they can have at each other. I'd like to watch.

14. I get frustrated with men who insist all women will hook up with another woman if they're horny enough. Excuse me, I have toys for that.

15. I'm absolutely fascinated with the uncut male penis. I want to play with one so bad, but alas, the US isn't exactly the best place to find one.

16. I have a really bad habit of "skinship" - I have to touch and be touched, almost constantly. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, even holding hands. If I'm with someone, I just can't keep my hands off of them (save for when I need my 'me time').

17. Love to me translates as sex. If I feel close enough to someone in a relationship that I sleep with them, it's about as close to love as I get. When I stop sleeping with them, I'm not feeling it anymore.

18. I most likely come off as "dykey." I've got short hair, wear guys' clothes... but trust me, I'm very cocksexual.

19. Cocksexual - that's a fun one. If I'm feeling it, I'll do anyone with a dick. Gay, straight, trans, I really don't give a damn. If you've got a cock, I've got a home for it.

20. Astraphilia... one of my more interesting kinks. I'm turned on by watching thunderstorms. It could be because where I live and grew up didn't have many, but there's just something arousing about the unrestrained, wild power of a lightning bolt.

21. Despite being not very keen on trying anal again, I'm highly curious about "double stuffing." I also use a small anal dildo on myself.

22. I used to hump an inflatable dolphin I had as a child. I got off on it too.

23. I don't understand how women purportedly don't usually get off on vaginal penetration. I can get off on either my clit or with toys just fine. I suppose I'm just highly sensitive down there...

24. Giving head gives me a rush similar to long, slow sex. I do not expect reciprocation, nor do I frankly want it - I don't get off on it. I get off on hearing the guy I'm sucking off groaning and expressing how he likes it.

25. You could probably tie me down and have me listen to male sex sounds - not even a visual, and I'd get off to it. Something about those sounds really hits me hard, right down there.