Saturday, June 18, 2011

1. I'm a 18-year-old cis woman who doesn't really know where she stands sexuality-wise.

2. I've only ever dated cis men. It's been alright.

3. I'm currently dating a cis man who's usually pretty damn amazing to me.

4. My boyfriend lives in Italy right right while I'm still in the USA, which means I've been masturbating a lot, and it's usually glorious.

5. I've always wanted someone to go down on me and nobody will. My boyfriend tried it once, briefly, then decided he didn't like it and stopped and hasn't done it since. This upsets me.

6. I really like having my breasts touched and kissed and whatever else anyone wants to do with them.

7. I really hate having my ass touched and grabbed at and whatever else anyone tries to do to it.

8. My friends and I have joked about making queer porn. The fact is, though, I'd totally want to star in it.

9. I've been so fortunate to avoid being attacked and brutally raped, which I'm really thankful for. But I experienced what I have come to describe a "consent fail" in which I was drunk and talked into blowing a guy I had really just planned on making out with. I know that could legally be rape, but I feel like I couldn't ever prove anything in a court.

10. That event made me feel horrible for a really long time, and I'm pretty sure it was the motivation for me having penetrative vaginal sex for the first time with a guy I didn't like very much. We watched a Simon Pegg movie immediately afterward, which I find hilarious.

11. I hate the majority of mainstream porn, not because it's specifically degrading toward women, which is a factor, but because everyone is so shiny and hairless. I like skin to be matte and a little fuzzy, thanks.

12. I like the way my vagina looks, particularly how one of the inner lips is longer and bigger than the other and the color of the hair on my vulva.

13. I've kissed a couple of my female friends drunk on bets and dares, but I'd really like to be able to be in a romantic situation with a lady and be able to make out with and touch another woman in a sexual way.

14. But I'm not exclusively attached to doing sexual things with people who are strictly cisgender, which is why I'm kind of iffy on the whole sexuality-label thing.

15. I'm pretty sure I'd be able to stick my hands down anyone's pants and up anyone's shirt and be pretty satisfied with the results, is what I'm trying to say.

16. I like the idea of bondage, but I hate the slick-black-leather approach that's always in porn. I'd prefer soft, supple brown leather and cream-colored cotton to tie up and be tied up with.

17. I can't stand the idea of doing anything naked outdoors. Sure, making out in the park sounds fun, but under no circumstances will I consider sex on a beach.

18. My favorite fantasy is fucking in a kitchen in the morning. I get turned on just thinking about it, and I can't wait to try it once my boyfriend is back in the States.

19. I recently discovered how awesome masturbating in the bathtub can be, and I'm afraid I'm getting a little bit addicted. They're the best orgasms I've ever had.

20. I've only ever had orgasms when masturbating.

21. I'm becoming increasingly frustrated that I can't seem to get off from vaginal stimulation. I've figured out where my g-spot is, but touching it doesn't really turn me on.

22. I'm ordering my first vibrator this week and hoping that changes my relationship with my g-spot.

23. I'm planning on hunkering down with that new vibrator and the internet's vast (but not nearly as vast as it should be) assortment of queer and sex-positive porn and spending an afternoon orgasming.

24. I'm turned on by soft skin, tummies, the sound of skin brushing on skin, the way sex smells, and being licked--anywhere.

25. I'm turned off by the idea of anal sex on me because my ass is the one part of my body that I still can't find sexy.