Thursday, May 28, 2009

1. I may come off sounding very naïve and inexperienced, and to some degree I am, but I feel that I am more knowledgeable and mature than most people my age, particularly regarding romantic relationships and sex.

2. I have never had vaginal intercourse. However, I do not consider myself a virgin.

3. I have kissed 4 people, and was in love with 2 of them. My first kiss was not until I was 18 and in college. My second kiss was at a party with a boy I had known all through high school and we were both immensely drunk.

4. I believe very much in the Kinsey scale, and I would rank myself as either a 2 or a 3, depending on the day.

5. My current boyfriend is my first “real” relationship, and he has been many other firsts for me. I love him very much, as a boyfriend and as a person.

6. I never thought I would ever be ok with performing oral sex on a man. I thought it would be disgusting and demeaning. However, my boyfriend, the first and only person I’ve done so with, was so accepting and wonderful that I enjoy it more than I thought possible.

7. I cannot imagine having sex without being in love. This may be a juvenile way of thinking, but I feel that sex is too intimate of an act to do it with just anyone.

8. I’ve always been uncomfortable with my own sexuality. This stems from childhood sexual abuse as well as not feeling safe enough within me to allow myself to experience normal, developing sexual feelings.

9. My boyfriend has helped me work through my feelings and insecurities and has not once pressured me to do things that I do not want to do.

10. I’ve found that my arousal is a lot more mental than it is physical. I think the main reason why my boyfriend turns me on so much is that I love him so much. I have never been attracted to a person without knowing them as a person first.

11. I fell in love with my best friend my first year of college. She and I became roommates and developed an odd relationship, which was very unhealthy and slightly obsessive. She went on to declare herself as straight, even though she had told me otherwise throughout the relationship, and becoming pregnant.

12. I find striptease to be very enticing and incredibly sexy. I like it even more when the person is not completely nude at the end, leaving the viewer with something left to imagine, hence the “tease” part.

13. Speaking of which, I love to tease my boyfriend. He knows this and now teases me until I’m writhing with desire. I would love to perform an actual striptease for him, but I’m not relaxed enough with my body and I don’t even know if I’d be able to do it without cracking up!

14. I am currently on several medications that lower my libido and my ability to orgasm. My boyfriend turns me on very much, so much so that I mere kiss can make me wet, but he cannot make me orgasm. I know that it is my fault, because he can bring me to the brink, but mentally, I can’t allow myself to climax. He does everything right and amazingly well, but my own psychological blocks are something I have yet to overcome.

15. I think virginity is overrated in our society. It is too highly valued. I think it is more important to do what you feel is right for yourself, and that virginity is given a worth that is not rightfully earned. Who you are and your worth as a person is not determined by your sexual history.

16. Physically, I think women are more attractive than men. Their bodies are much more aesthetically appealing to me.

17. I love dominating as well as being dominated. I think I would enjoy being dominant more if it weren’t so much work!

18. The idea of being tied up or otherwise restrained and then having the other person do whatever they wish with me is a huge turn-on for me.

19. I also enjoy the idea of being able to do what I wish to another person. Again, teasing comes in to play. I would bring them to the brink of orgasm repeatedly until they were ready to collapse with need.

20. I think humor is a very important part of sex. The noises and normal bodily functions that occur are funny, and my boyfriend has helped me appreciate this. The girl I fell in love with, mentioned in number 11, took it all way too seriously, which is why I was never very turned on by her.

21. She was also somewhat selfish and never listened to what I wanted or what felt good to me. She was determined to get inside of me and loved fingering, but it was very painful for me and I always made her stop very quickly, because she was impatient and never noticed that I wasn’t wet.

22. I am a pretty loud person in general, particularly when I get excited. This only increases during sexual acts.

23. I get chills when my boyfriend nibbles on or blows in my ear. I also quiver and spasm when he brings me close to orgasm.

24. I like rough, passionate lovemaking. Though I’ve never had technical sex, my boyfriend and I have done almost everything else, and it usually progresses from gentle and patient to fervent and demanding.

25. I refuse, absolutely with no exceptions, to have anal sex. My boyfriend likes to squeeze my bum cheeks, but nothing is to ever go near my anus. That is strictly exit only for me.