Sunday, June 14, 2009

1) One of my earliest memories as a child is being at the video shop with my family and going into the tittie movie section and looking at all the beautiful naked women and feeling tingley at what I saw. I didn't know what it was, but I knew I liked what I saw and what I felt. If anyone came over and asked me what I was doing I'd act dumb and pretend I didn't know what I was looking at.

2) My first proper kiss, tongues and all, was with my best friend. She initiated it but I really liked it and reciprocated. From that point on (I think I was about 10) whenever she came over I'd try to find a way in the course of us playing to make it happen again. It did, sometimes.

3) I work for a company that produces erotica and find myself constantly massively aroused at my desk. Sometimes by 6pm my knickers are completely soaked through. I have snuck into the building we own next door to masturbate a few times, usually I can keep it under control until I get home.

4) Before working at this company I was a contributor to their sites. Yes, I'm naked on the internet and proud of it. I've done photographic stills, masturbation videos and I once filmed myself and my partner having sex which will go live eventually... I'm in magazines too. I have quite an in-depth philosophy about why I do this kind of work - it's not for the money, that's for sure. It's not something I'd want to ever do full time either. I enjoy it first and foremost, it's usually quite an amazing, interesting and often creative experience. With some of the more mainstream work I've done, I definitely feel as though I'm 'representin' for all the non blond, skinny and non fantastically-plastic looking women out there. I'm a size 14, short and brunette. But goddamn I have sex appeal, I know it and will use it for the greater good... or something.

5) The first time I ever had sex it wasn't really consensual... I was pretty drunk and young and stupid and at a party. It was a guy who I was interested in and I'd also been friends with for a few years. For the longest time I thought it was the way everyone first had sex. I was 15 and I'm now 24, it's only been over the past few years I can talk about it without experiencing intense and uncontrollable emotions. I've actually been able to talk to a handful of people I'm close to about it, even my mum knows now. I feel somewhat driven to get past this event in my life and to talk to people about it.

6) Masturbating cuts into my social time. It's easing a bit as I get older, but I am a chronic masturbator. Sometimes I'll come home early from a night out to make myself have an orgasm. Even when I'm having sex, great sex, regularly, I still wank all the time. Which leads me to my next point.

7) My sex drive outstrips every single guy/girl I have ever been with. I have emasculated every guy I have ever had regular sex with. I think about sex, breasts, pussies, cocks, fucking, kissing allllllll the time, I make up little fantasies in my head or recall the last time I orgasmed, had awesome sex and so on. I literally think about sex for probably half my day, everyday. Sometimes when I'm talking to someone I imagine what it would be like to fuck them, or I at least visualize them naked.

8) I spend a ridiculous amount of money on sex toys/aids, porno and various bits and pieces. For example I have 3 different kinds of lubricant. I could (and do) browse sex shops for hours on end, I like going into these shops but also like online ones. I have a whole drawer of this kind of thing and a magazine rack full of porno mags next to my toilet. My male housemates find this endlessly amusing.

9) My breasts are enormous. I am an F cup. And I love them. In fact I freely admit that I'm having a rather long, public and drawn out love affair with my rack. I really used to hate them too, like curl my shoulders forward and wear baggy clothes to hide them kind of thing. Now I'm like 'weeeeeeeeeeeee boobies' *bounce bounce* and I have also over the past year discovered the awesome power of what they will make other people do. Its hilarious. And kind of wrong. But still really funny... I love having my breasts and nipples touched and sucked and licked. When drunk I often flash people the aforementioned big boobs. This is also hilarious. Boobies make me smile a whole lot.

10) For some stupid reason I've faked a lot of orgasms during sex with men... I think it's because I want a lot of sex and I feel that the guys providing it want some sort of return on their effort. I've only ever had vaginal orgasms with my ex-bf. He had a long and thick cock that bent at the end and seemed to hit the spot, but only if I was on top. It would seem my g-spot is quite far inside my vagina. I despair of ever achieving that kind of orgasm ever again.

11) I have vagina envy. I have this tiny tiny little-girl vagina. My inner labia are virtually non-existant. My clitoral hood is so small that when I went to have it pierced my piercer wasn't sure it would be possible. I had it done vertically and it worked out okay thankfully. My outer lips keep the whole lot of what I have completely enclosed. I wish I had 'more' of anything, labia, hood, clit... I'd love to have big beautiful frilly inner labia especially. I still do enjoy what I have and I know my pussy is very pretty, my piercing definitely also adds to its attractiveness.

12) The last guy I slept with went crazy. Like actually lost the plot, had to get admitted to hospital and assessed. He is currently heavily medicated... He is/was my friend before we started shagging, but is still so fragile I don't want to push him at all. What we had is definitely over but I still want to make sure he's okay and be a good friend to him. It's been very very hard, especially the bit where I know what I feel about it all is chicken feed to what he's actually experiencing... I still see him, because we're in the same circle of friends and as much as I pretend it isn't, mostly for his sake, it's weird. I don't get weird or awkward ever. But this is weirder and awkwarder than anything I have ever experienced.

13) I have, what my housemates and friends have termed 'The Thirst' - basically I am cock thirsty and have to 'Obey my Thirst'... It's not only hilariously funny, it's also true. I kind of came up with it, choosing the trait about yourself that you get a laugh out of and turning it into the thing your friends give you shit about is a total winner. I also have a logo, it's a rooster drinking out of a can. Laf.

14) It's taken me almost a fortnight to write everything up to this point. It's made me think about my sexuality, sexual identity, current lack of sex and a whole bunch of other things in quite an in depth and constant way. I hereby vow to never fake another orgasm, it really bothers me that I've done this in the past.

15) I absolutely adore oral sex. Giving and receiving. Licking and sucking a cock (or a clit for that matter) makes me hot. I can literally feel myself getting wet when I'm giving oral sex. If my sexual partner is standing while I'm giving them oral I have a habit of reaching behind them and massaging their arse cheeks. I also love being eaten out. Unfortunately I've had many sexual partners that aren't so good at it or pretty lazy in the giving back department. I think the next person I'm with, I'm going to tell them straight up they need to give me loads of oral sex or it just isn't going to happen. Or perhaps I will wear a t-shirt that says "eat my pussy"

16) I hit puberty very very young. I had B cup breasts, pubic hair and was menstruating at the age of 11. I went to a tiny primary school and was in the 5th grade, already a year younger than everyone and still was the first in my year. I hated it. I shaved off my pubic hair with my dad's razor when I was 12, my mum found it and did not handle it well at all. I have vivid memories of taping down my breasts in my bra, I hated them too. Never understood why boys liked them so much. I was such a tomboy, quite young and so uneducated that puberty was such an ordeal. My child/children (I haven't had any children yet) will not go through that, I will give them all the talks, answer all the questions, give them books and website links so they can have the knowledge and thus power to understand and cope with their bodies and the changes they will undergo.

17) I have lost count of the amount of people I have had sex with. I think counting once you get past 30 people is kind of silly anyway. I'm 24. I do not think I'm a slut or promiscious. It makes me laugh when people say that. I am, however, an intelligent, highly sexual, assertive and not afraid to pounce. I know what I want, I'm not shy about getting it by any means. But I'm not a 'notches in my bedpost' king of gal. I'm just honest.

18) I've just begun to realize how much sleeping with my friends doesn't work. For the longest time it's been my preferred mode of getting sex. Seeings as I'm attracted to pretty much everyone I am friends with it seemed the logical step. Also everyone I've ever had a relationship with has started off as friendship.

19) So for the past fortnight I have been playing the adult dating site game. It's working out really well. The interest generated has truly thrown me though. In a way, a massive sexual ego-trip was exactly what I needed after my previous sexual partner went crazy. The sex I have gotten out of this site so far has been fucking awesome too. I don't know any of the people I have met, so my inhibitions have been reduced to zero. I'm asking to be spanked straight up, masturbating to orgasm in front of them, telling them I'm teaching myself to ejaculate and just letting go completely. It's amazing and I feel so free, I can be the honest pervert I aim to be in everyday life from the start. It's fun and the fact that I can't keep up with the messages I'm receiving makes me feel good, I remember this feeling of sexual confidence from long ago - I didn't realize I had lost it, but it's back and I'm loving it. There is also a number of couples with whom I have been speaking, there are two in particular that I think I'm going to sleep with. I haven't had a threesome for years now and I'm so excited to be getting back into some intense and challenging sexual scenarios.

20) I am about to start a blog regaling my adventures on the adult web dating scene. Everyone I talk to about it tells me, "you should be documenting this stuff"

21) For me, orgasms and sex are intrinsically tied up in my happiness. I'm a fairly happy and positive kind of person on an everyday basis, but if I'm getting laid fairly often and it's good it boosts me up to the next level. I am particularly devoted to getting orgasms because I know how much happier I am when I'm having them often. That's why I masturbate a lot, I love myself lots and lots and I deserve to feel good everyday. It's taken me all of my life to get to this point though, hopefully I continue to move onwards and upwards in this way. Personal growth, development and self love is the bomb.

22) I don't like to apply labels to anything really, but if I was going to categorise my sexual identity I'd say I'm bisexual. Although I have sex with men far more often than with women, mostly because the opportunity arises far more often with men. I love women so much, they're such beautiful and aesthetic creatures. I wish I was able to get it on with women a bit more frequently.

23) Over the past year I have discovered when I menstruate my orgasms are ferociously intense and last for way longer than usual. It is also a highly pleasurable way to combat my crippling period pain and the PMS symptoms I experience. I am now in turn very open to the idea of having lots of sex while I have my period, when the idea of this used to really freak me out.

24) I think my personality is very sexy. I am a brash, bold, mouthy, funny, smart, opinionated and at times highly crass young women who does everything in her power to not only abandon the expectations society has placed upon her, but show others the way forward into personal empowerment by choosing my own path in life. I feel that I demonstrate with every inch of my being the freedom and happiness that comes from defining your own ideas about the person you want to be and the awesome joy that comes from achieving it. I know my heart and my mind is fucking hot, I totally work it and love every moment of it - one of the best bits about it is knowing everyone else in my life loves it too.

25) The 25 things about my sexuality blog has become an important marker for me in reflecting upon my sexuality and in a more general way my sense of self. I think looking back and assessing your progress as a human being is an important part of learning and growing. I never want to stop having sexual adventures and realisations. But most of all I never want to stop talking and sharing on the topic of sex/sexuality/orgasms etc. etc. This is such a huge part of the person I am, I want to keep gathering knowledge, developing and moving forward, challenging myself and others in this area. Kudos guys, you fucking rock.