Thursday, November 19, 2009

1. My first kiss was an extremely drunken one. I’d had almost half a bottle of liquorice Sambuca and it went from kisses on the neck, to the mouth, to my hands down his pants. It was messy and fun.

2. The best kiss I have ever had was from a very close friend of mine. He kissed me so tenderly that it sent shivers down my spine, but I still told him to stop--I’ve never understood why, and I wish I could go back in time.

3. I’ve never had sex, and really didn’t want this to be my first point because I feel it shouldn’t define my sexual habits, sex shouldn’t be all about penetration--but I think I’m fooling myself a little.

4. I find myself more and more curious about women and find myself more turned on by lesbian pornography than heterosexual. I would love to try something out with a woman and think I would be much more comfortable this way for my "first."

5. I wish I was better at kissing. I love kissing but I know I’m not that great at it.

6. I love being naked, taking erotic photos and letting my imagination run wild. I’d love to try nude modeling one of these days.

7. My best orgasms are always in the bath. If you have a bath in your house and I’ve stayed over, I’ve probably had an orgasm in it.

8. I once masturbated in a five star Korean hotel which had a spa on the roof. It was only when I was half way through that I realized a security camera was pointed directly at me. I felt so ashamed and thrilled at the same time.

9. My best friend and I almost kissed once in bed when we were drunk. She tried to kiss me first and I moved away then I tried to kiss her and she moved away. I think we are both very curious and scared.

10. Although I whine about being a virgin often, the three or so times that I have had the opportunity to have sex with someone, I have always turned them down. I. JUST. CAN’T. DO. IT.

11. I love to be held naked in bed, two bodies intertwined is really a beautiful thing.

12. I am extremely attracted to one of my close friend’s housemates but am afraid to make a move. I’m also afraid I’ve left it too late.

13. When I was younger I was insanely attracted to an older man with a shaved head. Seeing him still makes me miss a heartbeat and I’d love to spend a night with him.

14. I have a lot of fantasies of being with an older man. They seem to be almost in awe of a younger woman’s body and appreciate imperfections as well as beauty, and this really turns me on.

15. I’m 20 and secretly would love to be pregnant right now.

16. I think I’m incredibly naïve as well.

17. I like to write dirty stories sometimes.

18. I generally don’t respect myself enough and think way too much about relationships. I think this is why I have never been in a relationship.

19. When I was 12 I told a boy I liked him and he completely degraded me and told me that I’d have to buy him and his friends things for him to even consider dating me. I feel like this is part of the reason why I don’t trust a guy’s sincerity.

20. Guys tend to want to sleep with me but not date me. It really upsets and confuses me. Basically tells me that I’m good enough to fuck, but my personality isn’t one that they want to have around them.

21. Once I was crazy about a guy, but when I got into bed with him I realized two things. 1- I wasn’t attracted to him sexually and 2- I didn’t feel comfortable enough to have sex with him anyway.

22. I have barely kissed anyone sober, and that explains part two of the above remark.

23. Sometimes I film myself having an orgasm, but I rarely watch them and often delete them straight away, afraid that someone else will watch them.

24. The furthest I have gotten was giving a guy a blow job. It really turned me on and I didn’t really want to stop.

25. I have insecurities about myself. I’m inter-racial and have crazy curly hair. Sometimes I just wish I looked ‘normal’ so that I wouldn’t have the lingering thoughts that a guy just wanted to screw the ‘caramel’ girl when he was flirting with me.