Wednesday, February 9, 2011

1) I’m a 30-year-old straight female, who has yet to be attracted to a woman, but is open to the idea if it ever occurred.

2) I’m a virgin, an "accidental virgin" to be precise. I have some anxiety issues that make it very difficult for me to feel comfortable with potential partners, so it just hasn’t happened.

3) I’m overweight, but not obese. I’ve been described as having classic features. I’ve had plenty of admirers, and many compliments over the years. I know that people find me attractive, but I’m rarely included in that number.

4) I developed a keen interest in sex at an early age. By the time I had my first sex ed class in school, I’d already read “The Joy of Sex," and begun masturbating occasionally.

5) Once puberty hit, I began masturbating almost daily. I go through phases now when I’m just too busy, or uninterested, but it’s very rare to go a whole week without masturbating at least a few times.

6) By the time I was 7 I’d already had my first boyfriend. This relationship consisted of making out together during recess, and occasionally holding hands. He moved away that summer.

7) I’ve kissed a girl, in all seriousness, once. Also in elementary school, in the bathroom. We were both standing on a toilet seat in a pink bathroom stall, if I recall correctly.

7) I watch porn. To get off, to get hot, or just to see what other people get up too. I’m mostly turned off by the highly produced stuff, and am puzzled as to why the cootch-cam is so popular. I like to see people's expressions when they are enjoying themselves. But it’s the sound that really gets me going. I love to hear a good, undignified, full body moan.

8) I’m a little terrified of telling someone that he’s (I assume) my first. I plan on avoiding that topic until afterward if I can help it. I never really placed a lot of weight on my first time, but fear that the knowledge would prompt a lot of questions, or cause some insecurities in my partner. That, and it’s a little embarrassing, if I’m completely honest.

9) I worry that I may never have sex. I’m a creature of habit, and a 30-year-old habit tends to be hard to break.

10) I’m open to the idea of unconventional sexual relationships. Light BDSM, threesomes, even electrical play are all fantasies of mine.

11) I especially like watching gay porn. I’ve often fantasized about being a man, with another man. I don’t think this says anything about my psyche, just that I like to replay those images. But I could be wrong--maybe it says a lot about me.

12) I’ve said before that I’m actually a gay man stuck in a woman’s body. Mostly this is just a joke, because either way I’m attracted to men predominantly. But I did have a number of years in which I was only attracted to gay men.

13) I feel sorry for people who need to constantly date, moving on from one partner to another the second a relationship ends. I never meant to remain alone as long as I have, but really? Being single has its perks. That being said, I’ve certainly proven that I can do alone quite well. Now on to one of those relationship things.

14) I don’t think I would ever be comfortable with a one-night stand.

15) I’d love to end up with a bisexual man. I love the idea of using a strap-on with a man, because it turns him on. Or having a MMF threesome, because my partner and I are both attracted to the same man.

16) I’m sort of grossed out by menstruation. It’s just a messy process, there’s nothing to be done for it. I’d avoid it if there weren’t major consequences to that.

17) I’ve never been on any form of birth control. I’m pretty sure my doctor thinks that’s due to religious reasons, and that I’m not being honest when I always answer ‘no’ to ‘are you currently sexually active?’

18) I’ve never had more than two true orgasms in one sitting before. Mostly, I tend to tease myself until I can’t take it anymore, then go for a big one. And then sometimes I’ll try to push it further. But after that, I’m just tired and ultra-sensitive, and lose interest. I wonder if I would be more prone to multiple orgasms with a partner.

19) I currently own 3 vibrators and a dildo. Two are bullet-style, and are my go-tos.

20) I’ve never had a g-spot orgasm. Have tried, but obviously am getting the angle wrong.

21) I get uncomfortable when strangers, or even not-so-close acquaintances, invade my personal space. This is a major contributing reason to my continuing virginity.

22) I’ve been kissed (romantically) twice in the past 12 months. The first was by a guy I met online, I had already decided not to see him again, but felt bad not letting him kiss me. Imagine someone doing an impression of a fish, that’s how he kissed. The second was a (former?) friend. Within about three dates he had all but told me he loved me, while I was trying to figure out if I even liked him in a romantic sense. He’s a good kisser, but I ended things with him shortly after because I didn’t feel anything when it happened.

23) I’m not certain that I want to have children. There is no political reason behind that, no stand against overpopulation. I’m just not sure I’d like it. I love some kids most of the time, but tire quickly of others. I feel like less of a woman when I think this way. Like procreation is the ultimate act of being a woman.

24) I sometimes think my life would be easier if I were gay. The pressure of societal disapproval would probably make me more defiant than I am (I’m not a fan of being told what to and not to do). I think, if I were a lesbian, that I’d probably be rather promiscuous, just to prove myself to the world.

25) My parents never talked to me about sex. It’s still not a topic that comes up with them. On one hand, it’s nice that I was 18 before I ever overheard them having sex, and never walked in on them. On the other hand, maybe I would have a higher sense of self-worth if they’d been more open with me when I was growing up.