Thursday, May 12, 2011

1. I'm a 22-year-old queer identified feminist cis-lady, strictly nonmonogamous and pro-love. When this is too much of a mouthful, I just say I'm bi.

2. Queer means (to me) that fucking and love has nothing to do with the gender, gender presentation, or sexuality of the other person. If I find myself sexually attracted to you, I don't question it, I just rock it. And I've been sexually attracted to people all across the spectrum, so I don't try to classify myself anymore.

3. I have slept with approximately 26 people, not including clients.

4. I've worked in several different mediums of sex work. I always found it to be silly, and more entertaining than waitressing. I don't think it's empowering necessarily, I just like cumming at work.

5. Kink has always defined my sexuality more than gender. Seriously, hetero, homo, bi… that just doesn't make sense. We should be divided into "kinky" and "not." That would make my life so much easier.

6. I'm in relationships with two men and maintain a romantic and sexual friendship with a woman. All of my relationships are open. I am deeply in love with all three of these people. One of the things I hate most about monogamy (among many many things) is the idea that you can only love one person at a time.

7. I love that I am a woman. I love my blood, my skin, my ass, my beautiful vulva, my long legs that look so fucking strong, my itty bitty titties, my janky toes, my weird sloping hips, my collarbones, my tattoos, my neck, my dreaded hair, my everything. It took a long time, but I'm finally starting to feel like my physical representation truly reflects ME, and it is beautiful.

8. I hate to say this, but I'm very used to sexual harassment. Years in the service industry left me pretty jaded. That's part of the reason I'm so fond of sex work, even though I'm not doing it any more--if you're going to objectify me anyway, I want a hell of a lot more than a two dollar tip.

9. I love gang bang porn. One of many aspects of my sexuality that I have a hard time justifying with my otherwise raging and radical feminist side.

10. I love being naked and usually at least partially am.

11. I think shaming woman's bodies and sexuality is a violence against women. Shame is one of the most gendered, horrible, and atrociously common aspects of being a woman-- I don't know a single woman who hasn't had to deal with it at one point or another. My life and sexuality are projects in the abolition of shame.

12. I've masturbated to the same set of fantasies since I was a teenager. I'm actually a very lazy masturbator, and I'm usually done in under a minute.

13. I learned how to masturbate with my Wiggle Writer pen when I was a kid.

14. I am an exhibitionist. I love sex in public places and group sex.

15. I'm a sub and a masochist. Sometimes I feel like this also makes me a "bad feminist." But fuck that.

16. I don't believe I ever want children, though I do get the hormonal baby cravings every once in awhile.

17. My current primary boyfriend has taught me more about my sexuality than most of my other partners combined. I have never met somebody so eager to explore every aspect of our sexual desire together. I am a lucky lucky lady to have him in my life and in my bed.

18. I regularly fake orgasms with partners. Partnered sex is not and has never been about orgasms to me. I actually can't tell a lot of the time if I am faking or not, because I do get pretty crazy when I "cum" but it's a much different orgasm than any I have by myself.

19. I recently got into pee-play with my partner. It surprised me how really fucking sexy and not at all gross it is.

20. I'm terribly shy around women I'm interested in and horrible at initiating sexual relationships with them. My relationships with women have always been the most profound and frustrating relationships in my life. I find men to be "easier."

21. Stoned sex is so fucking stellar. Sex on ecstasy is crazy and confusing as hell and amazing. Sex on acid is usually weird, but one time the stars aligned and I had a religious experience and I have never felt closer and more unified with a person before or since.

22. I am easily the most sexually "deviant" among my friends. Luckily, I was blessed with nonjudgmental and wonderful friends.

23. I'm not a sex fiend and I don't usually spend much time thinking about it if I'm not having it UNLESS I'm at work. Customer service jobs are only tolerable if you're fantasizing about double penetration.

24. I get very self conscious when I don't get wet, even when I'm turned on. I feel like using lube is admitting defeat. It's definitely a mental block that I need to get over.

25. I think cocks are amazing and beautiful. They're all so different, they all behave so differently. Watching and feeling a cock get hard turns me on immediately. I love to play with my partners' flaccid cocks, I love giving head. I am, admittedly, a size queen, though. I recently fucked my partner with a strap-on for the first time, and I found out I love having a cock too.