Wednesday, March 18, 2009

1. I lost my virginity when I was 16. Past the initial penetration, it didn’t hurt at all, and even then that was minor. We had sex twice more without much time in between. It’s like once I let loose, I wanted to try several more methods. I thought it was an enjoyable experience despite having been talked out of needing love as a prerequisite to sex.

2. Although I’ve been able to give myself orgasms since I was 9, it took me at least 6 months before I was able to reach it with him. We called it my Berlin Wall. I’d get really close, and hypersensitive, but I couldn’t peak any further. Strangely, we had the most sex before I could come. It just seemed more effortless when there was no expectation of having to orgasm. I still enjoy just pleasing him every now and then.

3. I have sexual phases. Sometimes I feel the incredible need to be dominated, but when that gets satiated I’ll desire a romantic pace. It goes back and forth. I guess it keeps things interesting. I generally always lean towards intensity and having things demanded of me. I think I’d enjoy tying someone up and having my way with them but I’ve yet to find someone willing. It’s not that I want to dominate, I just want the full leisure of pleasing and teasing.

4. I don’t try to define my sexuality. I simply like certain people. They must be beautiful, they must be intelligent. I’ve only been infatuated with two women. I fooled around with one in a foursome, and actually made her come with my mouth and fingers…I found that extremely satisfying. I myself couldn’t reach a level of mindlessness to orgasm but I think it was because there were just too many people. I still regret not reaching out and touching her like I wanted to in the shower. I was quite upset when I heard that she and my guy friend broke up, if mainly because I wanted another shot at her. She still keeps in touch with me. Loyalty keeps my mouth shut.

5. I like to masturbate at a slow pace. The longer I can keep myself from orgasm, the better. I almost always watch porn, I like the visual stimulation, the heightened tease. I always prefer to watch scenes with multiple straight men and a single woman. I just like to see every avenue being filled. I often get orally fixated when I’m turned on, so I love to see someone thrusting in her mouth while she’s being fucked. I don’t know if I’d personally ever be interested, but it’s fun to watch.

6. I think my oral fixation lends to my interest in ball gags. Though I’ve never used them. I don’t know why, but I’m much shyer about discussing my less than vanilla interests with my boyfriend than anyone else. Strange because I think he’d be willing to try anything.

7. I wish I had less of a gag reflex. One of the biggest reasons I like smoking or drinking (rarely) before sex is because it lets me relax my larynx. Still, I love the feeling of a cock sliding down my throat. I much prefer having a man come in my throat, because while the idea of him exploding in my mouth is a turn on, in reality I’m not fond of the taste of cum. I always try to time it with my own orgasm. I don’t spit, I find it distasteful and ungracious. When I have sexual dreams, giving oral sex is always involved. I just love the taste and texture of skin.

8. Again with the oral fixation, but I love it when a guy puts his fingers in my mouth when I’m really into it from time to time. I never ask for it, because I’d feel silly, but I do enjoy it when it happens.

9. I find it interesting what I tolerate pre-orgasm versus post. I’m pain tolerant, but also love cum. Soon as I’m done pain tolerance flies out the window and I find cooled cum incredibly gross. I don’t like having my orgasm much before him because the sex just becomes increasingly painful.

10. I love being gripped during sex. Whether it be my hips, my shoulders, my neck, I just like the intensity of it. Although I come the fastest doggy style, I love feeling a man chest pressed against me. I think the only other feeling I like more is after a massage if he caresses my back with his dick, I find it to be an extremely pleasurable tease.

11. I very rarely have vaginal orgasms but man is reaching that height of pleasure hot.

12. My first sexual thoughts came when I was 8 or 9. I was home a lot while my mother slept (night shift) with no television supervision, and I came across the strangest movie. I believe it was soft core, but it was about a female prison where all the inmates were kept naked, and the head was a woman who liked to be whipped by her assistant and to generally abuse the inmates. I spent several weeks trying to catch movies with any sexuality in them. My pillow became my best friend, then my Little Foot (Land Before Time) plush toy. I still have him. Whenever I masturbate without porn I still love to be face down best. I felt a slight guilt about masturbating during my middle school years, but I don’t know where it came from. I wasn’t raised with religion, and my parents never told me sex or masturbation were wrong. I think I may have just felt bad about defiling poor Little Foot.

13. I’d love to be penetrated while still half asleep. My randiest dreams are often in the morning, having actual orgasms are not uncommon. Still, in my drowsy mind, I’m extremely wanton, but my motivation seems to dissipate once actually awake. I wish he knew what I was thinking before I lost it to consciousness.

14. I’m pretty indifferent about receiving oral. It’s enjoyable, I just never want to come that way. It always feels like a waste – I’d much rather come with a man inside of me.

15. I had a really strange fear that my mother was sexually interested me in my early teens. She did absolutely nothing to deserve this. I just had trouble with buttons when I stopped wearing the snap button type jeans so she’d sometimes help me. The touch below my navel would make me feel weird and I think I projected my feelings of embarrassment onto her. I’ve only ever discussed this with one person, but I never explained why.

16. I didn’t realize I was attractive until I was 16. Playing a rigged game of strip poker is still probably one of the best decisions for my ego that I’ve ever made. I feel sexier at times more than others, but I generally like my body. I know I can be beautiful when I want to, I just don’t generally feel that way.

17. I’ve only had sex with three people. My ex was mediocre. When he let loose it was great, he was definitely the most well endowed, but he was so sensitive to positioning I couldn’t get the force I wanted. I’ve never been so frustrated. It’s like being presented with a delicious buffet and only allowed a bite.

18. For actual sex, I think the best lube other than natural is spit. I only like using manufactured lube for hand jobs or using my breasts. Or I guess anal. I’ve only tried it a couple times, mainly as a finish treat, but I just find it too painful and I don’t have the patience for acclimatization.

19. I used to be much more spontaneous when it came to threat of exhibitionism. Being eaten out while standing in the car with the top off? No issue. Pulling over in random cul de sacs for sex? Sure. Sex out on the hood? Why not. Fondling in aisle number7? Definitely. Fingered in the library with other people sitting at our table? Indeed. I feel uninspired.

20. I’m open to trying new things – I’m just not good at bringing them up first. I’d really like to play with rope and restraint. When I was in high school, I used to take some of the random braided belts I had and tie them around my upper thighs. I just loved the tight, lightly abrasive feeling of constriction.

21. I don’t think I’d want an FFM threesome with any girl I knew. I’m really just more afraid of becoming infatuated with her than anything else. That and I don’t know how I’d handle seeing my boyfriend penetrate someone else. Really I’d just love someone extra to use their mouth on my breasts and fondle my clit.

22. I actually enjoy licking and sucking on a man’s balls while I’m working on him with my hands. He just has to be fresh out of a shower, and there can’t be a hairy mess to contend with. I wish guys had more erogenous zones. I really like kissing, and nibbling but I don’t do it if I know it does nothing for him. I think it’s why I find women so appealing, there’s more to work with. And nothing is hotter than knowing I’m giving pleasure.

23. I like watching BDSM, but not electricity, watersports, clothing clips, general pain nonsense. That does nothing for me. I just like seeing the total lack of control.

24. I don’t mind hearing people having sex. It generally turns me on, and I’ll always try to listen in.

25. I spend most of my days recently fantasizing about a man who is not my boyfriend. Other than his mind, his body is absolutely delectable. I get incredibly wet at even the slightly suggestive things he says. I haven’t felt such an intense longing in a good while. I don’t think I could resist him if I tried.