Monday, March 16, 2009

1. I'm a 28 year old guy who wishes he was a virgin. I lost my sexual virginity to a prostitute when I was 20, and the first time I penetrated a girl I think I was 21 or 22. I have been with four girls on four occasions and I have paid for the pleasure of their company every time. I haven't told this to a living soul. I'm afraid my friends would think I'm as disgusting as I think of myself.

2. I love going down on women, but I want to get more experienced in that area and learn the magic "tricks". If I could get a woman off like that, I wouldn't need her to return the favour on me. Just knowing that I made her cum like that would be enough.

3. I masturbate a lot. Now, almost every day. Sometimes I can go on for hours, and I don't go for the orgasm every time. I just like feeling the "rush" in my body. I have realized that this is probably because I want to reduce my anxiety feelings. I have been depressed for many years now, and I want to get help for my problems and straighten my life out. Become "normal" like everyone else.

4. My biggest turn on is lesbians. I watch a lot of porn, but never anything boy/girl because it doesn't turn me on at all. I just can't do what other guys do, imagining me being "the guy with the dick". I rather watch softcore porn, Girls Gone Wild videos and girls kissing on Youtube than any standard mainstream porn. Hardcore porn feels too vulgar and not sexy at all. Watching a girl just kiss another girl is so amazing.

5. I have never really kissed a girl myself. Or a guy for that matter. Just a few pecks with one of the girls I was with. I have always dreamed of making out with a girl, and I constantly wonder what my first time will be like, if there will ever be one? I am worried that I will suck big time, because I have no experience.

6. I sometimes fantasize about light BDSM... about being with a girl that liked to be spanked (a little bit) and tied up with handcuffs or a scarf. I also fantasize about being the one who is tied up. I don't know what I would enjoy more. But I know it would have to be done in a playful way.

7. When I chat online I always pretend I'm a girl in her early twenties. I often chat with other girls (and I'm fully aware that some of them might be guys just like me). I have also chatted with a few guys like that. I don't think I am bisexual, but I have no problem with online roleplay with a guy as long as I can pretend I'm a girl. Weird really. I also have no wish what so ever to be a girl in real life.

8. Anal play is a turn on for me, but only as a fantasy I think. One of the girls I was with suggested that I should put my dick in her butt, but (no pun intended)... I really didn't want to do it when I actually had the chance. Maybe it was because it looked like she really didn't want to do it either.

9. I had exhibitionist fantasies when I was younger, but they are pretty much gone now. The first time I had an orgasm I was 12 or 13 years old. In the middle of the night I was lying on the street outside our house and caressing myself. I remember the warm feeling of the wind on my body. I did that a few times, but stopped when a neighbour almost spotted me. I ran and hid in a tool shed outside our house. I have never done anything like that again since.

10. I love eating food while jerking off. For some strange reason.

11. I haven't had sex in... 5 or 6 years. The last time I was with a girl I got an erection when I ate her out, but couldn't get it up when she wanted to give me a blow job. I wasn't really attracted to her at all, I think.

12. If I could be a woman for a day I would first of all find a girl to have sex with me. Then maybe I would try a threesome with a girl and another guy, just to see what it would be like to be with both. And as a girl, what it's like to be fucked.

13. I rarely talk to my friends about sex. Mostly because I don't want them to know about me only being with prostitutes, but also because I feel like I'm "weird" and different in some way. I'm probably wrong.

14. I never ever want to have sex with a prostitute again. Me giving in to that temptation four times, it has haunted me every single day since the first time I did it. I regret it so much, but for some reason I can't let myself move on and leave that part of me behind.

15. I hate my own thin skew body. I work out but it doesn't seem to do much good. I like my smile though, but I don't think I have that great teeth unfortunately. I could die a happy man if I met someone who made me feel attractive and wanted. But I'm afraid I would get so moved and thankful that I would even start to cry!

16. I have no issues with my penis. Thank God! I think I have a pretty common size and I have never wished it was bigger than it is. It's shaped as a crooked banana though, and I'm a little bit worried if the missionary position could be a problem. I have never done it missionary style.

17. One of my biggest fantasies is to watch two attractive women make love in real life. Even better if none of them are gay or bisexual.

18. I'm addicted to porn. I constantly search the net for new porn, and when I get it I seldom watch the whole thing. I just add it to my collection. I once deleted everything I had because I felt so guilty, but shortly afterwards I started building it up again. I have realized I could never quit "just like that", I'd probably have to do in steps.

19. I hate when friends reveal too much about their sexual activities, it's like "couldn't you just have kept that for yourself..." I don't like to picture any of my friends naked or being aroused.

20. I love sexy underwear on a woman. Really feminine stuff. Pantyhose, garter belts, corsets, tiny thongs, matching sets of underwear, push up bras and that kind off stuff.

21. I'm a terrible flirter. I can't read signs from girls at all, probably because of my current total lack of self confidence. And if I flirt back it's not intentional, I'm just being nice.

22. I once shaved my scrotum, but it didn't make me feel anything else but silly actually. I haven't done it since. I actually like having hair on my balls, but I don't know what girls today think about it. It seems like everyone is shaving these days.

23. I know I have double standards (see 22) but I think the sight of a shaved or trimmed pubic area on a girl is much more a turn on than an unshaved one. But I wouldn't mind being with a "full-bush" girl either. As long as she doesn't have hairy legs. Yuck.

24. Shaving my head actually gives me sort of a tingly feeling in my crotch, like there are areas that are connected through the nervous system or something. Weird.

25. My weirdest sex dream ever was when I dreamt that I was going down on my little brother. And he had a pussy. That really creeped me out. Fortunately I didn't wake up with an erection.