Monday, March 16, 2009

1. I’m one of those cliché women whose brain is my most active sex organ. I prefer erotic stories (as long as they are well written) to erotic pictures or porn.

2. I started masturbating at a young age — maybe 3rd or 4th grade? I had this one stuffed duck I got in an Easter basket I would slip into my panties and grind against on my bed until I reached orgasm.

3. In 5th or 6th grade I had girlfriends in the neighborhood I would roleplay with. We’d be a married couple and finger each other to orgasm. I didn’t even know what I was doing but I knew I shouldn’t tell my mom.

4. I lost my virginity in high school to the friend of a guy I was dating on New Year’s Eve when we were both drunk. Another cliché.

5. I have a vague recollection of being raped in the parking lot of a bar in college but I was too drunk to really know what was going on. (See a pattern?) It’s something I avoid thinking about and have never spoken about.

6. Despite this dubious start to my sex life, I LOVE sex. I think I’ve gotten lucky by having dated really good lovers along the way.

7. I still love to masturbate, although I’ve never gotten into using a vibrator. I still mainly jack off (some might suggest “jill off”) like I did as a kid just against my fingers instead of a stuffed animal.

8. I have a pretty high sex drive. My husband does not. We have sex about once every three months. On days that I’m really horny, I masturbate three or four times a day. I still wish I was having more sex.

9. I’d rather give head than receive it. I suppose it’s ultimately a control thing, but I have trouble coming when a guy is going down on me. They’re never aggressive enough and I’m too polite to grind against their face.

10. I’ve never been particularly attracted to women, nor have I ever “done” a threesome. But if I did and it was FMF, she better have big boobs. If I did and it was MFM, I’d like to think I could hold my own.

11. The consistently best sex I’ve ever had in a relationship was with a guy who didn’t like me to go down on him. It bugged me. After we broke up, I gave some rebound-sex partners some very eager blow jobs.

12. The relationship I had after the consistently-best-sex relationship was with my husband. I was somewhat relieved that there was more to our relationship than sex.

13. I have convinced myself that I deserve good and consistent sex enough to get a free pass to cheat on my husband, with varying results.

14. I have only cheated on my husband with one person where the sex was good enough to make it worth the trouble.

15. It was with him, the sexy illicit lover, that I did any serious experimentation with anal sex. It wasn’t the mind-blowing orgasm I’ve read about, but it was fun.

16. The most uncomfortable sex I’ve had was on a beach in Florida. The next day I had bites all up and down the backs of my legs from some kind of sand flea.

17. I’ve had several partners tell me I was the best sex they’ve ever had and I can’t imagine why. Either (a) it’s just a line or (b) being an eager participant counts for a lot.

18. I’ve always hated my boobs, but breastfeeding my son was an empowering and strangely sexual experience for me. I’m definitely sexier as a mama.

19. My sexual fantasies are usually very involved with an elaborate plotline leading up to the actual act. I often fantasize that I’m a widow, which on the one hand makes the fantasy less guilt inducing, but on the other hand is pretty fucked up.

20. A good deal of the men I’ve met through Craigslist in my pursuit of an extracurricular partner are looking for something edgy that they’re not getting at home. To be dominated, to dominate, to have a threesome. I, on the other hand, just want to get laid.

21. When I was younger I definitely had quasi-rape fantasies. Nothing terribly violent but the idea of being tied up and taken advantage of was pretty appealing. Since then, I’ve done the tie-me-up thing playfully with a few partners. But to me it seems like something you do when you run out of other ideas. For example, maybe if I was having consistent great sex at home, some Saturday night when we had nothing else going on we’d play rapist and I’d get some rough sex. Until then, though, I just want to get laid.

22. I’m pretty sure I will have another affair. If my husband found out I know he’d be hurt, but I also think on some level he’d understand. He knows about our sex-drive mis-match. But I figure eventually, not having sex won’t matter so much to me and I’ll relax and enjoy all the other things I really do love about my husband. I just want to get laid.

23. I don’t think I’ve ever been watched while having sex, but the idea is a bit of a turn-on. I was making out with a guy in high school and while he was licking my nipples I looked up to see his friend watching. I held his gaze for a while. It was hot.

24. I’m a sometime bush shaver and a frequent trimmer, but it’s more about a personal aesthetic than pleasing a partner. I did a full wax before my honeymoon as a treat for my husband and it hurt like hell. Still, I might do one again sometime because the re-growth is so much softer and less sandpapery than from shaving.

25. I am always horniest in the spring.