Wednesday, June 3, 2009

1. I went to all-boys schools for almost all my primary and secondary school years. I blame this for being a bit awkward with unfamiliar females.
2. Despite 1., I have no problems getting dates or getting laid.
3. I only learned about erections and masturbation from friends at high school. It took me a full year of wondering what “cracking a stiffy” was before somebody told me. After that, I was literally a boy with a new toy. You do the math.
4. However, it really wasn’t until I was in my late teens and started downloading hardcore pornography that I started learning about my own penis.
5. From porn, I realized that my penis is uncut. From there, I learned that my foreskin was never stretched properly. It took me 3 years of stretching for me to finally be able to roll it back comfortably. Now I’m starting to wonder if the idea of stretching can be applied to the rest of the penis…
6. In the meantime, I also learnt about hygiene. But imagine having to clean the head of a penis that has never before been touched directly. I can totally sympathise with women’s complaints about direct, unlubricated contact with their clitoris. I’m glad to report that my tool has since been fully broken in, and this is no longer a problem.
7. Since I was young, I’ve sensed that girls either found me really attractive, or really repulsive and rarely in between. Nevertheless, I still used to pursue the unattainable. These days, I’m happy and grateful that I appeal to a certain niche.
8. My first real relationship lasted 9 years and spanned the best part of my 20s. We took each other’s virginity in one of the most surreal and beautiful moments. I thought she was the one I would grow old with. I never cheated. She left me to pursue a holiday opportunity. That was a year ago.
9. Since then, I’ve almost made up for lost time. It’s not that I’m on a rebound rampage, I just don’t see myself as having a desire to enter into another serious long term relationship again so soon. I don’t hide this fact from the people I meet, and I make it pretty clear that my current priorities are career and other things.
10. I see my sexual partners as a puzzle waiting to be solved. Sure, the clitoris and g-spot are in the same place, but everyone has their own turn-ons and ways their body react to touch and the senses, and everyone is slightly different in they way they reach climax.
11. I have a rather embarrassing problem with the way my penis works. The first time with anyone new, I cum rather quickly. I can’t help it. I can masturbate 2 or 3 times beforehand, and it will still happen. However, after the first couple of times, I have great control and stamina.
12. There is not a bed that I have slept on regularly that I haven’t broken.
13. I love going down on a woman. I really enjoy seeing and feeling and being part of their pleasure.
14. I once made a girl cum so hard and her pussy squeezed my fingers with such force that I couldn’t type with that hand the next day. Although typing is a critical part of my job, I would still love to do it again and again as often as possible.
15. Fake breasts are a huge turn-off for me. I would rather someone with little or no breasts than the most perfect fakes.
16. Speaking of breasts, the largest I’ve been with are F-cups. Real F-cups, not metric-Asian F-cups. Two things I’ve learnt from that experience: first is that hugging a girl with boobs that big feels exactly like hugging a big girl, and second, after you’ve gone that big, nothing else is the same anymore. I’ve since had girls proudly showing me their D cups, and when I found myself faking excitement, I knew I had been ruined.
17. Having said that, my biggest turn-ons are a toned and athletic physique, and a round but petite ass. But no matter how hot or how beautiful a girl might be, if she is a bitch, then all attraction goes away almost instantly.
18. Although my experience has yet to reach a level of statistical significance, I am utterly convinced that Asian girls are terrible at giving BJs. I don’t know what it is, but Caucasians definitely have an edge in this area. Though, I’m more than happy to be proven wrong.
19. I’ve discovered that there is indeed such a thing as bad sex. It is when things are so wrong that your mind can’t relax and let you enjoy the situation. Even with the best intentions and full consent of all parties involved, some rules are never meant to be broken.
20. I am slightly annoyed that my younger brother has more sexual experience than I do.
21. Having witnessed some spectacular orgasms, I sometimes find myself slightly envious of women’s capacity and potential for pleasure. OK… maybe a little more than slightly… fuck it… I’ll admit it… if I can get a guarantee that I can experience what I’ve seen is possible, then I wouldn’t mind being a woman for a month or three.
22. I am not yet 30. However, I am already starting to worry about my sex-life when I get older. I hope I’ll never have to use Viagra, but more so than that, I really hope that the sex doesn’t stop. I am slightly bothered with the idea of marriage because of the stereotype of the married guy who gets whipped by their wife and no sex.
23. Speaking of which, I have a friend who gets no sex from his wife at all. Period. Not even on their honeymoon. Personally, I see that as grounds for divorce.
24. I have a fetish for older women. The way I see it, women around 35 have the most to teach me. I think this is partly the result of a teacher fetish developed during all those years at the boys schools, and partly my desire to be really really damn good in bed.
25. As per the end of any long term relationship, a little bit of you is lost and a little bit of you is developed. I still miss what I shared in my long-termer, but dammit, sexuality-wise at least, my life is so damn good right now, I’m glad things turned out the way it did.