Wednesday, June 3, 2009

1. I lost my virginity right before I turned 14 years old. My then-boyfriend talked me into it and we did it on his mom's bed. He was very rough and fast and I begged him to stop. It felt like my insides were being ripped open and torn to pieces. I kept asking him to stop, that it hurt, but he wouldn't. I was in so much pain that I shut down and prayed for it to stop. It never got any better and went on for about an hour. I had messed around before this time with two guys who never pressured me. One is the love of my life. Though I know he doesn't feel the same way about me, I still long for the taste and touch of him. He was so perfect in every way. We would meet in the alley behind the movie theatre where he worked and make out. I would rub him through his pants or boxers and I so wanted him. Let's call him "Joe."

2. Shortly after this, I started drinking a lot and became a bit sex addicted. I couldn't get enough and would do anything, anywhere, with about anybody. I went through several boyfriends and would always be more than willing to give it up even on the first day I met them. My friends and I had what could amount to sex contests where we compared what we did and who was the most extreme. I didn't really like sex, though. Just the idea of being wanted.

3. I found a boyfriend when I was 14, accidently. I was drunk, he was 18. I didn't find him attractive. But he seemed to want me and he was "cool." On our third date, I was babysitting and we ended up having sex. I let it go far enough that I couldn't get out of the relationship at that point. He emotionally abused me constantly. Telling me how ugly or fat I was. I was actually very skinny, and rather pretty. But I didn't believe it then. He would hold me down and go down on me and talk all the while about how my "lips" were too big and how I needed to shave and he would make me shave so that I looked prettier and younger and he would force me into sex in places and ways that I did not want. I still can't shave my pussy all the way because it reminds me of him.

4. During this time, "Joe" and I would meet at his work and mess around behind the old stage where the movies played. I would go down on him and it was so hot and exciting. Maybe because I was actually in love with him, but it was beautiful in its own way. I slept around a lot behind #3's back. I hoped I'd get caught so that he would leave me alone and not want me, but it didn't end up like I wanted. I even got naked at a party and ended up initiating sex with two of his best friends. That just ruined their friendship, but kept me in my own hell.

5. I finally got away from that boyfriend. Two weeks later, I got drunk at a party and ended up having sex with a particularly well endowed 25 year old man. I was 15. We ended up playing strip poker at that house a lot and drinking way too much over the next few months. He would pick me up at my house in the middle of the night on his motorcycle. Then we would drive back to his place and he would fuck me with his 9.5 inch cock for awhile before driving me back. He was so large that it was painful.

6. Shortly after this, I had a few more partners and I met the "big" ex. He became the father of two of my children. I was his first. I have been the first to three different men that I know of and never knew about it until afterwards. He was a good lay, and I learned how to have multiple orgasms with him.

7. After I broke up with that ex, finally, I worked with a traveling male nurse. He was in an open relationship with his wife. I went back to his hotel with him completely innocently and ended up getting massaged and fucked by a man 16 years older than me. I was 18 and he said his wife was ok with it. When I met his wife, I took my now husband, then best friend, with me. We drank a lot, ended up at a strip club, and I had my first threesome and sex with a woman while my now-husband was asleep in the next room. I wasn't very attracted to his wife, but it was a unique experience that has left me since wanting to have a real female-female relationship. The sex was awkward as I found out she did not approve of him penetrating anyone which he had obviously broken with me, but she was a squirter and I came.

8. I ended up going down there a couple more times to meet them. The last time, they introduced me to their Dutch friend who was a hardcore BDSM online porn producer. He was a lovely, polite man and he asked if he could film me and I said yes. He dressed me and I was fucked with an assortment of large dildos. I did not find it arousing at all and had to fake any interest or pleasure. It felt awkward and it made me unhappy. Then he tied me up and gagged me. I had needles put through my breasts, wax dripped on me, and an assortment of other things. I was bored and wanted to go home. I only got $300 for the shoot for all that work. He asked me to come back but after that, I never called them back and I moved. I wish I could get those pictures removed from that site. I was just a single mom and needed the money.

9. When my now-husband was subtly courting me, I got drunk at a party and saw "Joe." I ended up having "Joe" take me home. I was so drunk that I puked and was blacking out. But we fucked like crazy. It was not terribly pleasurable for me because I was so self-conscious and wanted to please him and he kept begging me to cum. I just wanted to feel his rock hard 7.5 inches throb inside me and burst like a rocket. That's what I like most about sex. Having a man cum in me is so empowering and hot. It makes me even more horny than when I began. Then I can't get enough. After sex, I made the horrible drunk mistake of saying I loved him--like a friend and worried about him. He never talked to me again, really. He told me I looked really good about 4 years ago, though. I feel this crushing bitterness about it. I am married with 4 kids and he is in a relationship, but I would give anything to have one more go at him. My husband does not know about this. Or almost any of my history, actually.

10. I asked my husband out right after I got done fucking him after a night of drinking. He worked in a University research lab and I would fuck him in these big scary rooms with lab equipment and insect research labs. It was very titillating. He still talks about having me go down on him while there was this huge humming magnet right next to us.

11. I had to be apart from him for a few months and got into the habit of fantasizing to get off. Now I can't stop. I can not cum without fantasizing in my head. It has escalated over the years and I wish for anything that I could just be in the moment.

12. When I was pregnant with my third child, I was so horny that I could have exploded. I finally was open to my husband about a lot of parts of my sexuality I was afraid would scare him. I had sex toys, looked at porn, and wanted to be fucked in the ass. Luckily for me he was pretty understanding and obliged.

13. My husband doesn't understand my kinkiness. He says his interests don't stray far beyond missionary, but if I get drunk, he has no problem asking to fuck me in the ass or have me suck his balls.

14. I am dying to have sex with another woman. I would say at this point, they are more attractive to me than almost any man. I fantasize near constantly about licking pussy and getting a woman off.

15. My biggest fantasies involve my husband who is a professor. It turns me on to think of a student begging for a better grade and asking for one with a short skirt and no panties. Then he licks her and talks about how wet and tight her pussy is. He makes her sucks his dick and then bends her over his desk. It takes a lot of hard work to get his big hard cock in her and she moans and screams and he fucks her really hard. Sometimes in the fantasy, I am there licking his balls while he fucks her.

16. I want to surprise my husband with another woman. If I could only get the guts to ask or find one, I would blindfold him and sneak her in to lick him and take his blindfold off as she's mounting him. I would lick their nipples and make my husband lick me while she went to town on him.

17. I love anal sex. I am always afraid someone will think it's dirty and I am scared to ask for it in case my husband thinks I'm a pervert. But I really wish he would ask for it more. Double penetration is great, but at the moment, an anal plug or a dildo is the best I can do about that. I like feeling filled up.

18. My husband loves to titty fuck me. I am not big chested, but I think it's quite sexy and I love pearl necklaces.

19. I want to be tied up and stripped down and punished. I want to be spanked and licked and forced to orgasm.

20. I find the idea of public submission hot. I want to be tied up and led to a bar or mechanic's shop and forced to do what my mistress tells me. I want hot strangers to bang me and to cum all over me.

21. If I was by myself at a bar and "Joe" was there, I don't know if I could stop myself from asking him to fuck me in the restroom. Up against the wall in the men's room with my panties around my ankles, preferably.

22. I would love to have group sex with just women. Maybe a man, but a lot of women involved. I want to line them all up and taste and feel them.

23. I was my husband's student for a semester and I am still upset I never took advantage of that situation. I wanted to sit next to him in class during a movie day and have him watch while I masturbated. But I was too embarrassed.

24. I have a white panties fetish. I love seeing women in white panties. Then they get pulled aside and licked through and around the panties. I think sex is amazing when it's so rushed that you don't have time to get your clothes off and just pull them aside and go at it.

25. I give great blow jobs. I have always been told so. I have worked on technique for years and read everything I could get my hands on to improve my skill. I love taking a man deep in my mouth and making love to it with my tongue. I love swallowing, too. I would never spit. I am trying to figure out how to deep throat and gagged for the first time ever the other night. I felt terrible about it, but I have a willing student.