Tuesday, March 24, 2009

1. I love novelty hookups. Boss, editor, guest at a hostel I worked at, college virgin, best friend’s older brother, bring it on. I think this all spawns from me looking for interesting things to write about. And I have written about all them.
2. I have had two boyfriends, and both cheated on me. The first hooked up with my best friend’s older brother and his boyfriend (also a bunch of girls). The 2nd cheated on me when I was studying abroad, waited until I got home to tell me so he could have sex with me one last time and most likely gave me HPV. I do not particularly want another boyfriend.
3. In a casual survey of my friends, I fall almost exactly middle of the road in terms of people I have slept with in my 23 years. I am at 8.
4. Despite that respectable number, I go MONTHS at a time without getting having sex. I went a year in college and am going on four months right now. This is OK except when my period is coming and I am so horny I get flushed cheeks thinking of sex.
5. The last guy I dated was unfulfilling and I waited three months to have the inevitable lackluster sex he was getting impatient for. I was worried that I was was maybe just losing my sex drive until I got with the aforementioned best friend’s older brother. Oh, I still got it.
6. I can tell immediately from the way someone and I kiss how anything further than kissing will measure up. From the way our mouths fit to what our limbs do, if it's good, my panties are soaked. If it's boring or mediocre, we can still have fun cuddling.
7. I made a guy cum once from the little moans I made when we were making out. He was embarrassed but I walked around cocky the rest of the week and told anyone who would listen. This included my mom.
8. I desperately want to hook up with someone who is in their thirties or older but the best I have done is 3 and a half years older.
9. I am not particularly interested in girls. I’ve kissed three girls but all when I am drunk or blacked out drunk.
10. However, a girl I worked with was into me for a time, and she happened to be one of the blacked out kisses. I brushed it off as just over-friendliness. Now, I wonder if it would have been fun to fool around or even date. This is probably because we live on opposite coasts now and it can’t happen.
11. I have known how to masturbate with toys since I can remember but only learned how with my fingers when I was 18 touching myself after a shower and something clicked.
12. Despite my complete reliance on my fingers, I have bought two female friends vibrators and am responsible for their first orgasms. I get drunk and tell people at parties this while one of the girls stands around and looks embarrassed, but I am super pumped I could help them out on something I love so much.
13. My only rules regulating my sex life is never do anything that would give me a reason to go on Maury.
14. The boss I slept with was a big dirty talker and made me get over my literary hang-ups, like only having so many ways of telling a guy he has a big dick. Now I realize it's OK to say it again and again, no one is keeping count.
15. I think I know everything I like in bed, but than someone will do something insane like bite my hips bones or lick my armpits and I totally get schooled.
16. Everyone on here keeps talking about how they love to be dominated. Yeh sure me too, but I really, really enjoy knocking someone around and totally dominating someone in bed. I feel like a sexual goddess.
17. My last boyfriend would get mad and ignore me if I wouldn’t have sex with him whenever he wanted. This gave me a complex that makes me feel like I am just a piece of meat to guys. This has me freaking out right before I get into bed with anyone and then again right before my lover penetrates me, but the moment we start I am totally at ease and remember he was a totally spoiled only child.
18. Porn typically doesn’t do anything for me. I worked at a porn company for a year and have seen more than my share, but I have to already be horny for it to even be remotely appealing. Otherwise, the sounds start to make me feel a little queasy.
19. The biggest turn-offs for me, in order, are: Having a girlfriend, being overweight (or even soft), and smoking. The first two are total deal-breakers, the third I break all the time.
20. My first boyfriend was the only person to ever get me off from going down on me. The last time was 5 years ago and I am extremely sad about this fact.
21. I’ve done three photo shoots where my friends get naked or nearly naked and pose for me, by their request, not mine. I’ve been solicited by at least a dozen others. I can't decide if people like to get naked for me, or for photos in general.
22. I have been told I am a great kisser by multiple partners, including the first guy I ever kissed. My secret is that I just try to do exactly what I want done to me.
23. Kissing my first boyfriend when he had his lip pierced was so enjoyable I pierced my lip the day after my mom dropped me off at college and still have it 5 years later. I really, really enjoy kissing but it can get a bit tedious. The piercing helps.
24. I lied about my first kiss in middle school. I told my friends it was a boy I met at a party, who I had a photo of, and that I know they would never ever meet. I was embarrassed to be so behind! My first kiss happened a year later, in high school.
25. I fucking LOVE when my name is moaned in bed. It might be the hottest thing I have ever had happen to me and I hope whoever breaks this dry spell will be a moaner.