1. At a size 14, I often wonder what sex is like if you're thinner. However, a lot of times I feel plush and womanly.
2. Oral sex is the only way I can get off, and my current boyfriend makes that almost impossible sometimes. He tries WAY too hard (usually he ends up looking like he ran a 5k marathon afterwards) and therefore I feel pressured to perform.
3. Making this list has made me decide to tell my partner exactly what I want.
4. I am convinced that one day I will have an abortion (even though I am on birth control and never let anyone come inside me unless they're wearing a condom). If there is the slightest inconsistency in my menstrual cycle, I spend a lot of time trying to mentally prepare myself for that event.
5. I had a one night stand one time only, and at first I couldn't figure out why I did it because a) I didn't like him that much b) It was out of my character and c) I wasn't horny. I realized later that I did it to get back at someone and I'm really surprised at myself.
6. I have HPV and I don't think sex with new people is impossible, but I'm utterly clueless about etiquette in this type of situation. I might be crazy, but I feel like this will only lead me to the best relationship of my life.
7. I like erotic fiction. I don't read it terribly often, but when I do I find myself attracted to stories about losing virginity, because losing mine was so fiercely typical I almost feel cheated, even though it was with someone I loved at the time.
8. I've always wondered what it would be like to watch two people having sex right in front of me. Or better, if they can't see me. However, I don't feel strongly enough to ever actually make it happen.
9. I had what I call an "almost threesome" which consisted of making out and being fingered by two guys. Even though it caused me quite a bit of drama, I would never take it back and I'm proud of myself.
10. I used to be silent during sex - never made a peep. I have been pleaded with to moan, and I never could bring myself to do it. Now I find myself doing it mostly to give my partner confidence but find it distracting.
11. My most recent sexual idea for me and my boyfriend of 2 years is to have drunk sex. Obviously, we are running out of ideas to "spice things up."
12. I find carnivals/festival type places really romantic. When I was about 13 I was sitting at the top of a ferris wheel with my gay best friend (unbeknownst to me at the time) wishing he would kiss me and was really disappointed when he didn't. Two years later, I had my first kiss at that event.
13. In my first relationship, I had times where once he satisfied me I didn't feel like returning the favor. I stupidly never imagined it would happen to me and now I would never do that again.
14. The relationships I end up in are always with guys who like most girls. The kind who has a crush on all his female friends as long as they are nice and somewhat attractive in one way or another. It's annoying and I wish they, AND I, knew how to be more selective.
15. My current boyfriend has literally the sweetest kiss - his breath is almost ALWAYS like candy.
16. I'd really love to have sex outside, but I can't think of ANYWHERE private enough. I think it would make me feel more connected to everything.
17. The best orgasms I've ever had are the ones I've given myself.
18. I'd never try anal because I think I would feel degraded.
19. Daydreaming about sex is something I rarely do anymore, but did a LOT of in high school.
20. I enjoy the intimacy of sex more than the actual sensations.
21. I have hardly any memories of the sex I had with my 2nd partner. We only did it a handful of times (both absolutely sober) but you'd think that would make them more memorable?
22. I like to be seduced slowly and treated like a goddess, but I don't think that has happened in a really long time.
23. Male moaning makes me hot.
24. I only swallow when I feel my significant other has earned it by pleasing me outside the bedroom.
25. I can't get over the idea that it's the male's job to make sure the sex is good, even though that's probably unfair.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
1.I have only had sex with one man, and I plan to keep it that way. We had been together for 9 months when I lost my virginity to him.
2.I like performing sexual acts in places other than our bed. (Someone else's bed, a tent, a riverbank, a public restroom, a desk, living room floor, and a bar are the memories that come to mind first.)
3.I started masturbating when I was 10 years old. I always felt guilty about it. (I still associate sex with guilt sometimes.) I had a few-year-long period when I would masturbate at least once a day. I hardly ever do now.
4.I love being grabbed, spanked, scratched, pinned down, pushed around and told what to do.
5.I have tried anal sex, and it was okay. It was more of an emotional experience than a physical one. It wasn't so great that I would ask for it again.
6.I do love assplay though. Having a finger in my ass while having sex is a huge turn-on.
7.I had a boyfriend 8 years older than me who basically forced me to give him head multiple times. Our relationship wasn't exactly rosy... I hardly remember anything about him today, I've blocked him out.
8.Sometimes when I can't sleep I turn on the TV, and in the middle of the night there isn't usually anything much to watch besides porn. So I watch porn and masturbate to it. I orgasm almost every time.
9.I stare at girls more often than boys. I don't ever fantasize about anything sexual involving girls, though, nor have I ever had romantic feelings for a girl. I simply think they are aesthetically more pleasing than boys.
10.On New Year's Eve when I was 14, I went down on a (girl) friend, and she went down on me, too. It was bad. We were both drunk.
11.I have gotten sexual offers on the street from strangers many times. I wouldn't ever take them up on their offers, but they do make me smile to myself.
12.I have kissed with 9 people. 3 of those were girls.
13.Up until I was 10, we used to play sexual games with my friends. Mostly roleplay. Dry-humping, touching were everyday. I find it odd that I have never thought this was odd...
14.I love having sex in front of a mirror. I have always been jealous of boys because they usually see much more of what is happening down there during sex than girls do.
15.I have a bad habit of imagining what people look like during sex. By people I mean almost everyone I know. This sometimes becomes disturbing.
16.I love having sex right after waking up.
17.My sex drive depends on the amount of sex I get. If I get it often, my sex drive will skyrocket, if I get it rarely, it will conveniently turn itself off.
18.Sometimes just laying next to someone and feeling their chest rising and falling can be the sexiest thing.
19.My then-boyfriend shaved my pussy for the first time when I was 16. It was humiliating. I shave it ever since, though. I've had it completely bare, but I find that having a small triangle of hair is more appealing.
20.I hate completely shaved dicks, but I hate entirely hairy ones as well.
21.I would love to be able to do deep throat. I've tried and it never worked.
22.I love having sex when I'm drunk or stoned.
23.I love it when my partner makes me orgasm from oral and penetrates me right after. It makes me feel completely helpless and his, and it is also amazing physically.
24.The idea of bloodplay excites me. I've mentioned it to my boyfriend, but I've never been quite brave enough to initiate it.
25.I plan to try sex on coke in the near future. (I got wet just writing that.)
2.I like performing sexual acts in places other than our bed. (Someone else's bed, a tent, a riverbank, a public restroom, a desk, living room floor, and a bar are the memories that come to mind first.)
3.I started masturbating when I was 10 years old. I always felt guilty about it. (I still associate sex with guilt sometimes.) I had a few-year-long period when I would masturbate at least once a day. I hardly ever do now.
4.I love being grabbed, spanked, scratched, pinned down, pushed around and told what to do.
5.I have tried anal sex, and it was okay. It was more of an emotional experience than a physical one. It wasn't so great that I would ask for it again.
6.I do love assplay though. Having a finger in my ass while having sex is a huge turn-on.
7.I had a boyfriend 8 years older than me who basically forced me to give him head multiple times. Our relationship wasn't exactly rosy... I hardly remember anything about him today, I've blocked him out.
8.Sometimes when I can't sleep I turn on the TV, and in the middle of the night there isn't usually anything much to watch besides porn. So I watch porn and masturbate to it. I orgasm almost every time.
9.I stare at girls more often than boys. I don't ever fantasize about anything sexual involving girls, though, nor have I ever had romantic feelings for a girl. I simply think they are aesthetically more pleasing than boys.
10.On New Year's Eve when I was 14, I went down on a (girl) friend, and she went down on me, too. It was bad. We were both drunk.
11.I have gotten sexual offers on the street from strangers many times. I wouldn't ever take them up on their offers, but they do make me smile to myself.
12.I have kissed with 9 people. 3 of those were girls.
13.Up until I was 10, we used to play sexual games with my friends. Mostly roleplay. Dry-humping, touching were everyday. I find it odd that I have never thought this was odd...
14.I love having sex in front of a mirror. I have always been jealous of boys because they usually see much more of what is happening down there during sex than girls do.
15.I have a bad habit of imagining what people look like during sex. By people I mean almost everyone I know. This sometimes becomes disturbing.
16.I love having sex right after waking up.
17.My sex drive depends on the amount of sex I get. If I get it often, my sex drive will skyrocket, if I get it rarely, it will conveniently turn itself off.
18.Sometimes just laying next to someone and feeling their chest rising and falling can be the sexiest thing.
19.My then-boyfriend shaved my pussy for the first time when I was 16. It was humiliating. I shave it ever since, though. I've had it completely bare, but I find that having a small triangle of hair is more appealing.
20.I hate completely shaved dicks, but I hate entirely hairy ones as well.
21.I would love to be able to do deep throat. I've tried and it never worked.
22.I love having sex when I'm drunk or stoned.
23.I love it when my partner makes me orgasm from oral and penetrates me right after. It makes me feel completely helpless and his, and it is also amazing physically.
24.The idea of bloodplay excites me. I've mentioned it to my boyfriend, but I've never been quite brave enough to initiate it.
25.I plan to try sex on coke in the near future. (I got wet just writing that.)
1. I feel like I became sexually aware unusually young. I don't recall how I developed a knowledge of what sex was, but I think it was a combination of eves dropping on my older sister with her friends, sneaking out of my room at night and watching things on TV that I wasn't supposed to and piecing that together with the vague euphemisms my parents used when I asked them where babies came from. I remember at least as early as age 7 having sexual fantasies. As I was also raised in a strict Christian household, these fantasies were often accompanied by a great deal of guilt.
2. My first kiss was with a neighbor girl on a dare. We were about the same age and were playing with a couple other neighborhood friends outside. We hid in the bushes and were dared to kiss. I liked it and found it exciting, but also embarrassing, because at that age I was still supposed to think girls were gross. This must have also been around 6 or 7. I think her name was Sara.
3. My first shared sexual experience was at age 11, at a sleep over. We masturbated together, but did not touch one another. Two good Christian boys jacking off in the basement.
5. My first heterosexual experience was when I was 15 with a girl who was 23. I was very drunk and felt really gross afterward. I don't think I would have gone along with it if I had been sober and it was more curiosity that carried things on my end than it was sexual desire.
6. The first several times I had sex I felt sick afterward. I attribute this mostly to my repressive Christian upbringing. Though I had refuted the church fairly early on as a teenager, it was years before I could undo the mental conditioning I had been instilled with in my youth.
7. I have never been physically faithful in a relationship. I think this is the direct result of my own personal insecurities and vulnerability to flattery. This too causes that dreadfully familiar feeling of guilt. I do however feel that I am emotionally faithful.
8. Until around 22, I feel I was more sexually submissive. Now, I am quite dominant. I think that sex has gotten much better since I have become dominant for all parties involved. I think that taking a more active role has allowed me to work out a lot of my guilt issues.
9. I still occasionally enjoy my partner taking control, provided they do it well and convincingly. A good wrestling match can be very exciting.
10. I like pain at the *right moments* during sex. Timing is everything.
11. I often feel more feminine than I do masculine, which I think would surprise a lot of people that know me, since I have a fairly large, muscular, male frame, a full beard, a very low voice and a very dominant personality.
12. I do not agree with contemporary western societies views of "gay" and "straight" and the emphasis placed on rigid categorization and neither does your body or emotions.
13. I feel that the variety of possible relationships is as varied in number as there are humans to have existed, are existing and will exist. Love is a beautiful thing in all its forms and it is heartbreakingly wrong for others to pass legislation on what type of relationships get to be validated by law, provided all parties are consensual.
14. Sometimes I find it hard to be mentally present during sex. I often find myself fantasizing about other scenarios to get off. I don't know why I do this, since sex when I am fully in the moment is always the best sex.
15. I don't always want to have sex when my girlfriend wants to have sex, but I am afraid that she would feel rejected if I told her to stop. In these scenarios in particular, I find myself fantasizing to get off: often about other lovers. This makes me feel guilty.
16. I think I watch too much porn and that this might also contribute to me not always being fully present during sex. Though the porn I watch often consists of sexual scenarios that I feel wouldn't happen in my current relationship, though I don't know that for sure because I've haven't brought up the subject. Which brings me to my next point.
17. I am with someone who is more loving and accepting of me than anyone else I've ever met in my life. Whenever I have had the courage to talk with her about something I felt uncomfortable discussing, she is always understanding, helpful and usually excited to explore that curiosity. I project my own sexual hangups on my partners and when I get over them, I feel silly - but ultimately relieved.
18. I find it very difficult to be completely open and honest with anyone, because of the subconscious fear that they won't approve and therefore won't love me if they know who I really am.
19. I have had sex in public on 4 occasions. These experiences are some of the most exciting sexual experiences I've ever had. The fear of possibly being caught plus the feeling of potentially being on display makes me very aroused.
20. I've recently had fantasies about having sex with either a beautiful transsexual or a waify effeminate man that is in love with me and then getting caught sharing a meal with them in public afterward at which point I act like our relationship is completely nonsexual.
21. Often when I have sexual fantasies about attractive women I see, in the fantasy, I am also a woman.
22. On more than one occasion I have had a dream that involves me sucking my own penis. It takes me forever to come, but once I do, I can't stop coming at which point it becomes embarrassing.
23. Most of the time, I think I have a fairly average sex drive, though I occasionally shift between extremes of wanting sex several times a day to having no sexual interest at all. When I'm going through an asexual phase, I find the concept any kind of sex repulsive.
24. Another fantasy I've been having lately is of being pursued by an older woman who does not respect me, even though she pretends she does and uses me only for sex, to get back at her husband.
25. I think jealousy is a destructive, negative, unattractive emotion caused by insecurity; though, I often struggle with feelings of jealousy myself. I would like to tackle my personal insecurities and get over the issues that make me feel jealous. That sounds really difficult.
2. My first kiss was with a neighbor girl on a dare. We were about the same age and were playing with a couple other neighborhood friends outside. We hid in the bushes and were dared to kiss. I liked it and found it exciting, but also embarrassing, because at that age I was still supposed to think girls were gross. This must have also been around 6 or 7. I think her name was Sara.
3. My first shared sexual experience was at age 11, at a sleep over. We masturbated together, but did not touch one another. Two good Christian boys jacking off in the basement.
5. My first heterosexual experience was when I was 15 with a girl who was 23. I was very drunk and felt really gross afterward. I don't think I would have gone along with it if I had been sober and it was more curiosity that carried things on my end than it was sexual desire.
6. The first several times I had sex I felt sick afterward. I attribute this mostly to my repressive Christian upbringing. Though I had refuted the church fairly early on as a teenager, it was years before I could undo the mental conditioning I had been instilled with in my youth.
7. I have never been physically faithful in a relationship. I think this is the direct result of my own personal insecurities and vulnerability to flattery. This too causes that dreadfully familiar feeling of guilt. I do however feel that I am emotionally faithful.
8. Until around 22, I feel I was more sexually submissive. Now, I am quite dominant. I think that sex has gotten much better since I have become dominant for all parties involved. I think that taking a more active role has allowed me to work out a lot of my guilt issues.
9. I still occasionally enjoy my partner taking control, provided they do it well and convincingly. A good wrestling match can be very exciting.
10. I like pain at the *right moments* during sex. Timing is everything.
11. I often feel more feminine than I do masculine, which I think would surprise a lot of people that know me, since I have a fairly large, muscular, male frame, a full beard, a very low voice and a very dominant personality.
12. I do not agree with contemporary western societies views of "gay" and "straight" and the emphasis placed on rigid categorization and neither does your body or emotions.
13. I feel that the variety of possible relationships is as varied in number as there are humans to have existed, are existing and will exist. Love is a beautiful thing in all its forms and it is heartbreakingly wrong for others to pass legislation on what type of relationships get to be validated by law, provided all parties are consensual.
14. Sometimes I find it hard to be mentally present during sex. I often find myself fantasizing about other scenarios to get off. I don't know why I do this, since sex when I am fully in the moment is always the best sex.
15. I don't always want to have sex when my girlfriend wants to have sex, but I am afraid that she would feel rejected if I told her to stop. In these scenarios in particular, I find myself fantasizing to get off: often about other lovers. This makes me feel guilty.
16. I think I watch too much porn and that this might also contribute to me not always being fully present during sex. Though the porn I watch often consists of sexual scenarios that I feel wouldn't happen in my current relationship, though I don't know that for sure because I've haven't brought up the subject. Which brings me to my next point.
17. I am with someone who is more loving and accepting of me than anyone else I've ever met in my life. Whenever I have had the courage to talk with her about something I felt uncomfortable discussing, she is always understanding, helpful and usually excited to explore that curiosity. I project my own sexual hangups on my partners and when I get over them, I feel silly - but ultimately relieved.
18. I find it very difficult to be completely open and honest with anyone, because of the subconscious fear that they won't approve and therefore won't love me if they know who I really am.
19. I have had sex in public on 4 occasions. These experiences are some of the most exciting sexual experiences I've ever had. The fear of possibly being caught plus the feeling of potentially being on display makes me very aroused.
20. I've recently had fantasies about having sex with either a beautiful transsexual or a waify effeminate man that is in love with me and then getting caught sharing a meal with them in public afterward at which point I act like our relationship is completely nonsexual.
21. Often when I have sexual fantasies about attractive women I see, in the fantasy, I am also a woman.
22. On more than one occasion I have had a dream that involves me sucking my own penis. It takes me forever to come, but once I do, I can't stop coming at which point it becomes embarrassing.
23. Most of the time, I think I have a fairly average sex drive, though I occasionally shift between extremes of wanting sex several times a day to having no sexual interest at all. When I'm going through an asexual phase, I find the concept any kind of sex repulsive.
24. Another fantasy I've been having lately is of being pursued by an older woman who does not respect me, even though she pretends she does and uses me only for sex, to get back at her husband.
25. I think jealousy is a destructive, negative, unattractive emotion caused by insecurity; though, I often struggle with feelings of jealousy myself. I would like to tackle my personal insecurities and get over the issues that make me feel jealous. That sounds really difficult.
1. I love to give head. Knowing that I'm giving the other person so much pleasure really turns me on.
2. Sometimes I secretly fantasize about making out with the fattest/most unattractive guys who look like they've never been kissed even at the age of 25. The feeling of power it gives me in knowing that I'm blowing their mind is incredible.
3. I've been masturbating since the age of 5, although I had no idea what I was doing at the time, it was just something that felt good.
4. I lie to others and say that I only discovered masturbation in my late teenage years.
5. When I was in primary school and we had weekly spelling tests when the teacher dictated words out and we had to write them, I used to wait until she had said about four or five words, then write them down quickly, because the panicky feeling that I might forget some of the words excited me. Then I would touch myself under the table.
6. I have never had an orgasm.
7. I really like to sit on guys' faces whilst they give me oral sex.
8. I identify as straight, but the naked female body turns me on more than the naked male body.
9. I like both female-on-female and male-on-male.
10. I am still a virgin.
11. And sort of scared about the pain of the first time.
12. I have only kissed three boys in my life.
13. Only two of them were my boyfriends at the time.
14. I probably won't get any more experience with guys because I love my current boyfriend and I think I will be with him for life.
15. Part of the reason I think I like his looks so much is because he is not good looking.
16. I have a lot of fantasies involving control.
17. Although I enjoy looking at the naked female body, I'm not sure if I would feel comfortable doing anything sexual with a girl.
18. I want my boyfriend to tie me down and strip me roughly, then give me oral sex until I come.
19. I really like dirty talk, and I want my boyfriend to call me his slut, but I'm too scared to ask him.
20. I love making out with people when they're asleep.
21. I'm really paranoid about bad things that could happen with my first time during sex, e.g. vaginismus.
22. My number-one turn-on is when my boyfriend is pissing others off, and he gives them a really evil smirk. So hot.
23. I think I would like to try out stripping. Knowing I'm driving a bunch of guys crazy with lust really gets me off.
24. I love to bite and scratch.
25. When I was little, I used to fantasize a lot about sexual activities... particularly sucking a guy's cock.
2. Sometimes I secretly fantasize about making out with the fattest/most unattractive guys who look like they've never been kissed even at the age of 25. The feeling of power it gives me in knowing that I'm blowing their mind is incredible.
3. I've been masturbating since the age of 5, although I had no idea what I was doing at the time, it was just something that felt good.
4. I lie to others and say that I only discovered masturbation in my late teenage years.
5. When I was in primary school and we had weekly spelling tests when the teacher dictated words out and we had to write them, I used to wait until she had said about four or five words, then write them down quickly, because the panicky feeling that I might forget some of the words excited me. Then I would touch myself under the table.
6. I have never had an orgasm.
7. I really like to sit on guys' faces whilst they give me oral sex.
8. I identify as straight, but the naked female body turns me on more than the naked male body.
9. I like both female-on-female and male-on-male.
10. I am still a virgin.
11. And sort of scared about the pain of the first time.
12. I have only kissed three boys in my life.
13. Only two of them were my boyfriends at the time.
14. I probably won't get any more experience with guys because I love my current boyfriend and I think I will be with him for life.
15. Part of the reason I think I like his looks so much is because he is not good looking.
16. I have a lot of fantasies involving control.
17. Although I enjoy looking at the naked female body, I'm not sure if I would feel comfortable doing anything sexual with a girl.
18. I want my boyfriend to tie me down and strip me roughly, then give me oral sex until I come.
19. I really like dirty talk, and I want my boyfriend to call me his slut, but I'm too scared to ask him.
20. I love making out with people when they're asleep.
21. I'm really paranoid about bad things that could happen with my first time during sex, e.g. vaginismus.
22. My number-one turn-on is when my boyfriend is pissing others off, and he gives them a really evil smirk. So hot.
23. I think I would like to try out stripping. Knowing I'm driving a bunch of guys crazy with lust really gets me off.
24. I love to bite and scratch.
25. When I was little, I used to fantasize a lot about sexual activities... particularly sucking a guy's cock.
1. Every woman I've had sex with has had at least C-cup breasts. I don't actively seek out curvier women; it just happens that way.
2. I don't know what flipped the switch, but I've been interested in spanking since I was about seven. I was never physically punished as a child. But I've been into BDSM in one form or another since then -- especially spanking -- and have attended munches and conventions. None of my partners except one (see items 13 and 14) have ever been as into it as me. Good sex and a good variety will make up for BDSM, but as you'll see later, I don't even have that.
3. I recently became Facebook friends with the first person I truly fooled around with. She's the daughter of my parents' friends. We were 11 or 12 at the time, and after my sister went to bed, we went into my room, turned the light off, talked, and eventually I got to touch her entire front side, through her clothes. I was quite shocked and nervous at the time. I think she was about to reciprocate, but then our parents got home. Nothing ever happened with her again, though I did have a crush on her older brother's wife.
4. My first real girlfriend would let me use my mouth on her breasts, but only if I promised to keep my eyes shut. I did get a hand in her pants, but she didn't seem to enjoy that as much. I don't know why; looking back, I never forced her into anything, and I never hurt her (or if I did, she didn't tell me). I was 15; she was 16. It lasted four months.
5. My senior-year-of-high-school girlfriend was actively crazy. But we got to second base our first night hanging out, and the next night (like, literally the next night) she took my virginity in the back of my car. I lasted about ten minutes, and the whole time I alternated between "shouldn't I be coming by now" and "holy shit I'm having sex".
6. I never cheated on her, but she said she cheated on me once. Shortly thereafter, she said "what can I do to make it up to you?" I was 17. It was the first time I ever got head. It was pretty damn good, for a girl who said she'd only done it to one other guy.
7. She and I had a LOT of sex -- at least twice a week, usually in my bed. We tried a lot of positions, but usually ended up doing missionary.
8. My first condoms were purchased for me by a friend because I made the stupid mistake of going with the "pull out" method after she ran out of them. I was embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed anymore, but I still don't buy sex supplies (condoms and lube) where I normally shop for groceries.
9. That same girl allowed me to try anal with her twice. The first time, she asked me to stop because it hurt, and I stopped. The second time, months later, she asked me to stop because the position was awkward, and I stopped.
10. A woman has purchased airplane tickets for me to fly 1000 miles to her house in another state for the sole purpose of having sex. She had the most stay-in-place D-cup breasts I've ever seen. I didn't see any scars when we were having sex, so I'm pretty sure they were real.
11. The first time she and I had sex, I came a minute before she did and was mortified. The second time, she was on top, and came so much there was a wet spot under us afterward.
12. I have had one partner who I regret sleeping with. We met online, went out to play pool, went back to my dorm room, and I wouldn't say I pressured her into it, but I made it clear I wanted to sleep with her. Had she said "no way" and walked out, then that would have been that. I tried to make sure she had an orgasm, but she didn't seem into it, so I put the condom on, we had sex, I came, and she left. We haven't talked since.
13. The most adventurous sex partner I ever had was five years older than me and introduced herself to me on AOL by IMing me to ask, "do you like anal sex?" After I taught her how to kiss without eating my entire face, things went pretty well.
14. She was the first girl I ever: brought to orgasm with my mouth, had successful anal sex with, was with who had no hair between her legs, wanted me to orgasm on her breasts, answered the door naked, spanked with a spatula, fucked in my parents' bed (they weren't home, obviously), fucked in the shower, fucked in a swimming pool. I wonder how she's doing.
15. I met the woman who is now my wife when I was 18. She's the last person I'll have sex with until at least 2024, which is when my child turns 18 and goes off to college.
16. We used to be pretty adventurous in bed -- I gave her head, she gave me head, she used her breasts, she used both hands, she used her fingers and hands all over me and me all over her, anal sex, missionary, girl on top, her on all fours, in public places, me coming on her chest and/or stomach and/or back, with other people in the house, in my dorm room while my roommate slept, the works.
17. She doesn't like receiving oral sex. I know I'm at least decent at it because two other women have come from it when I do it and have asked for it on more than one occasion. She just dislikes it. I have no idea why.
18. She doesn't shave. Anything. Unless we have to go out somewhere that requires formal dress. I don't mind women with a little hair, but I'd prefer to avoid 70s bush if I can help it. (Interestingly, the women with whom I've had the two longest relationships have both had 70s bush.)
19. She stopped giving me head on a regular basis (say, once or twice a month) in 2002, shortly after her parents approved our marriage.
20. In college, for about two years, we had anal sex at least three times a month. That was when I lived in the dorms and she would come to visit. We've had it less than ten times since the turn of the century, and she's said flat out that she used certain sexual techniques to "hook" me in the same way I used poetry (which I don't write anymore because my poetry is atrocious).
21. My wife doesn't mind an occasional light spanking, but I'm much kinkier than that and she knows I am. So I told her I wanted her to spank me instead -- and not just playing around, but to really spank me. She's done it once, and the rest of the times that I bring it up, she says "well, if you ask for it that means you expect it, and I'm not doing it if you expect it." I hear that a lot when I put forth an interesting/new sex thing for us to do.
22. She can only come one way: her on her back with me telling her an erotic story that involves her fucking another woman with a strap-on, but the woman has to think she (my wife) is a different woman or a man. She admits she's trained herself to come that way and she refuses to try anything different or let herself go in any way. I can't even touch her clit while we fuck in the hopes that she comes with me inside her (which has never happened). It's her way or no way.
23. She refuses to use birth control, so I have to be the one to initiate it, using condoms. I don't mind them so much, but she constantly harps on me to not use them in hopes that I'll get her pregnant again. We have sex pretty infrequently because I don't want to get into the argument every damn time.
24. When I refuse to fuck her without a condom, she relegates me to masturbating in front of her while she turns on her side and uses one hand to help out, touching me in other places. It feels good, but it also feels like she's just going through the motions because I'm not doing exactly what she wants me to do in the exact way she wants me to do it.
25. I am very unhappy, sexually, because of items 15 through 25. I wish she was as adventurous (or at least as honest) as she was back when we met, or that I had known she would turn out like this (because I might not have married her), but I put up with her bedroom crap because I love our child and I wouldn't change anything that meant I didn't have her. Unfortunately, it also means that, until I find someone else to be with, sex will consist of: argue about getting her pregnant, fool around, argue some more, fool around, get her off in the same way every time, argue some more, and give myself a handjob while she watches. I wouldn't say it's a small price to pay, but I'll sacrifice my sexual satisfaction in the name of my child's happiness.
2. I don't know what flipped the switch, but I've been interested in spanking since I was about seven. I was never physically punished as a child. But I've been into BDSM in one form or another since then -- especially spanking -- and have attended munches and conventions. None of my partners except one (see items 13 and 14) have ever been as into it as me. Good sex and a good variety will make up for BDSM, but as you'll see later, I don't even have that.
3. I recently became Facebook friends with the first person I truly fooled around with. She's the daughter of my parents' friends. We were 11 or 12 at the time, and after my sister went to bed, we went into my room, turned the light off, talked, and eventually I got to touch her entire front side, through her clothes. I was quite shocked and nervous at the time. I think she was about to reciprocate, but then our parents got home. Nothing ever happened with her again, though I did have a crush on her older brother's wife.
4. My first real girlfriend would let me use my mouth on her breasts, but only if I promised to keep my eyes shut. I did get a hand in her pants, but she didn't seem to enjoy that as much. I don't know why; looking back, I never forced her into anything, and I never hurt her (or if I did, she didn't tell me). I was 15; she was 16. It lasted four months.
5. My senior-year-of-high-school girlfriend was actively crazy. But we got to second base our first night hanging out, and the next night (like, literally the next night) she took my virginity in the back of my car. I lasted about ten minutes, and the whole time I alternated between "shouldn't I be coming by now" and "holy shit I'm having sex".
6. I never cheated on her, but she said she cheated on me once. Shortly thereafter, she said "what can I do to make it up to you?" I was 17. It was the first time I ever got head. It was pretty damn good, for a girl who said she'd only done it to one other guy.
7. She and I had a LOT of sex -- at least twice a week, usually in my bed. We tried a lot of positions, but usually ended up doing missionary.
8. My first condoms were purchased for me by a friend because I made the stupid mistake of going with the "pull out" method after she ran out of them. I was embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed anymore, but I still don't buy sex supplies (condoms and lube) where I normally shop for groceries.
9. That same girl allowed me to try anal with her twice. The first time, she asked me to stop because it hurt, and I stopped. The second time, months later, she asked me to stop because the position was awkward, and I stopped.
10. A woman has purchased airplane tickets for me to fly 1000 miles to her house in another state for the sole purpose of having sex. She had the most stay-in-place D-cup breasts I've ever seen. I didn't see any scars when we were having sex, so I'm pretty sure they were real.
11. The first time she and I had sex, I came a minute before she did and was mortified. The second time, she was on top, and came so much there was a wet spot under us afterward.
12. I have had one partner who I regret sleeping with. We met online, went out to play pool, went back to my dorm room, and I wouldn't say I pressured her into it, but I made it clear I wanted to sleep with her. Had she said "no way" and walked out, then that would have been that. I tried to make sure she had an orgasm, but she didn't seem into it, so I put the condom on, we had sex, I came, and she left. We haven't talked since.
13. The most adventurous sex partner I ever had was five years older than me and introduced herself to me on AOL by IMing me to ask, "do you like anal sex?" After I taught her how to kiss without eating my entire face, things went pretty well.
14. She was the first girl I ever: brought to orgasm with my mouth, had successful anal sex with, was with who had no hair between her legs, wanted me to orgasm on her breasts, answered the door naked, spanked with a spatula, fucked in my parents' bed (they weren't home, obviously), fucked in the shower, fucked in a swimming pool. I wonder how she's doing.
15. I met the woman who is now my wife when I was 18. She's the last person I'll have sex with until at least 2024, which is when my child turns 18 and goes off to college.
16. We used to be pretty adventurous in bed -- I gave her head, she gave me head, she used her breasts, she used both hands, she used her fingers and hands all over me and me all over her, anal sex, missionary, girl on top, her on all fours, in public places, me coming on her chest and/or stomach and/or back, with other people in the house, in my dorm room while my roommate slept, the works.
17. She doesn't like receiving oral sex. I know I'm at least decent at it because two other women have come from it when I do it and have asked for it on more than one occasion. She just dislikes it. I have no idea why.
18. She doesn't shave. Anything. Unless we have to go out somewhere that requires formal dress. I don't mind women with a little hair, but I'd prefer to avoid 70s bush if I can help it. (Interestingly, the women with whom I've had the two longest relationships have both had 70s bush.)
19. She stopped giving me head on a regular basis (say, once or twice a month) in 2002, shortly after her parents approved our marriage.
20. In college, for about two years, we had anal sex at least three times a month. That was when I lived in the dorms and she would come to visit. We've had it less than ten times since the turn of the century, and she's said flat out that she used certain sexual techniques to "hook" me in the same way I used poetry (which I don't write anymore because my poetry is atrocious).
21. My wife doesn't mind an occasional light spanking, but I'm much kinkier than that and she knows I am. So I told her I wanted her to spank me instead -- and not just playing around, but to really spank me. She's done it once, and the rest of the times that I bring it up, she says "well, if you ask for it that means you expect it, and I'm not doing it if you expect it." I hear that a lot when I put forth an interesting/new sex thing for us to do.
22. She can only come one way: her on her back with me telling her an erotic story that involves her fucking another woman with a strap-on, but the woman has to think she (my wife) is a different woman or a man. She admits she's trained herself to come that way and she refuses to try anything different or let herself go in any way. I can't even touch her clit while we fuck in the hopes that she comes with me inside her (which has never happened). It's her way or no way.
23. She refuses to use birth control, so I have to be the one to initiate it, using condoms. I don't mind them so much, but she constantly harps on me to not use them in hopes that I'll get her pregnant again. We have sex pretty infrequently because I don't want to get into the argument every damn time.
24. When I refuse to fuck her without a condom, she relegates me to masturbating in front of her while she turns on her side and uses one hand to help out, touching me in other places. It feels good, but it also feels like she's just going through the motions because I'm not doing exactly what she wants me to do in the exact way she wants me to do it.
25. I am very unhappy, sexually, because of items 15 through 25. I wish she was as adventurous (or at least as honest) as she was back when we met, or that I had known she would turn out like this (because I might not have married her), but I put up with her bedroom crap because I love our child and I wouldn't change anything that meant I didn't have her. Unfortunately, it also means that, until I find someone else to be with, sex will consist of: argue about getting her pregnant, fool around, argue some more, fool around, get her off in the same way every time, argue some more, and give myself a handjob while she watches. I wouldn't say it's a small price to pay, but I'll sacrifice my sexual satisfaction in the name of my child's happiness.
1. I lost my virginity when I was 18 to my first serious girlfriend. It was nice, but for most of our relationship, she was usually too tight for it to be much fun for her. This led to us mostly doing other stuff, which was fine with me.
2. The relationship ended because I was in love with her best friend. We had sex once next to her in a field near my house, we've never talked about it.
3.I masturbated for the first time when I was 14, I never felt guilty about it, or did to excess. The only thing I worry about is what to do with semen, I hate that stuff.
4. I've never came from oral sex, and I don't really enjoy it, so I don't receive it unless the girl is pushy about it. This happens surprisingly often.
5. I really like going down on girls, but only a handful of girls I've been with have been into it. A lot of them are self-conscious about appearance, or smell, or whatever. I don't get it.
6. Sex with my current girlfriend is okay, but sort of a clusterfuck. I'm pretty seriously ill right now, so my sex drive is shot, and all the painkillers make it hard to get an erection. Also she reminds me of my mother on some level, and she fondles my breasts like they're women's breasts, both of which are tremendous turn-offs. I really want to break up with her, but I think she would be crushed, and she's been so supportive about all my health problems.
7. My mother had a manic episode when I was a kid, and she got into drugs and had affairs with women, my dad told me and my sister about it, which was a shitty thing to do. I've always been into girls who are kind of crazy, and I only watch lesbian porn, I used to worry that it had something to do with my mother, but all my friends like crazy girls and like lesbian porn, so whatever.
8. I've only had one good female friend whom I wasn't kind of in love with, and she looks like my grandmother as a young woman.
9. I am very happy with my penis, although I don't like to let women see it flaccid. A flaccid penis is just a very unimpressive thing.
10. As soon I'm in better health, my first order of business is to have a three-way with two girls.
11. I made out with a dude once during spin the bottle. He was a very handsome gay man, but it didn't do anything for me.
12. My dad thinks I'm gay.
13. Once, when I had to have surgery on my ass, and part of it was held together with surgical twine, I hooked up with a really cute girl while I was recovering, and as soon as we finished, I put all my clothes back on, so she wouldn't see it. It made her really uncomfortable and we didn't hang out again.
14. I have a really unstable ego, sexually. Part of me thinks I can get any girl I want (and recent history more or less backs this up) and part of me thinks that I'm completely undesirable. I don't know how many other people feel this way.
15. I definitely have a type, tall women with big hips, who dress like hipsters, have big blue eyes and red hair and are kind of cold, but care a lot about politics and humanitarian issues. It doesn't mean I'm never attracted to other kinds of girls, it's just that if a girl has most of those qualities, I'll put up with pretty much any bullshit. On the other hand, I could never date a woman who's anti-feminist.
16. I have no interest in any kind of BDSM, in fact I find it extremely upsetting... particularly anything that resembles or simulates rape. If a girl asked me to do anything violent to her, I'd probably break up with her on the spot.
17. Once, I was high on Adderal with some friends after a night at a club, 3 dudes, this cute girl, and myself. We were taking joke "sexy" pictures of each other, and this led to all of us guys feeling up this girl, and then going to her bedroom, where she told me and one of the other guys that she didn't know us well enough, and asked us to leave. We went and hung out in her living room, had a great conversation and listened to the clash, he hit on me pretty forcefully, but I'm not into dudes and the whole situation was completely absurd. My pals in the next room asked me to get them bottled water, which seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do at the time, I went into the girl's room and my buddy was masturbating, trying to get an erection (we were on a lot of drugs) and went "dude, look at me". We've never talked about it, and I'm willing to chalk it up to the drugs.
18. Sometimes I love dirty talk, but a woman's vocabulary can really make or break the experience. I remember seeing a movie on showtime where a guy said "a cock is something you fuck with, a dick is something you piss with" and I think that about sums it up. Also, personification of sexual organs just sounds hilarious, calling a vagina "her" makes IT sound like a battleship.
19. I don't see why people think the term "making love" is cheesy, sometimes it's just a good description of what you're doing.
20. With a few exceptions, I want to have sex with all of my female friends.
21. I'm definitely an ass man. A girl with no tits is no big deal, but a girl with no ass and no hips is such a turn-off.
22. My first kiss was when I was 14. She was my first girlfriend. I recently found out that she's married to an army man, and has a baby on the way. She was an extremely warped person then, but I guess a lot of 14 year olds are.
23. I'm still attracted to all but one of my exes. I usually hit on them when I run into them and it's usually pretty uncomfortable.
24. I find other people's sexual histories, and sexual idiosyncrasies extremely interesting.
25. I find female sexuality totally perplexing.
2. The relationship ended because I was in love with her best friend. We had sex once next to her in a field near my house, we've never talked about it.
3.I masturbated for the first time when I was 14, I never felt guilty about it, or did to excess. The only thing I worry about is what to do with semen, I hate that stuff.
4. I've never came from oral sex, and I don't really enjoy it, so I don't receive it unless the girl is pushy about it. This happens surprisingly often.
5. I really like going down on girls, but only a handful of girls I've been with have been into it. A lot of them are self-conscious about appearance, or smell, or whatever. I don't get it.
6. Sex with my current girlfriend is okay, but sort of a clusterfuck. I'm pretty seriously ill right now, so my sex drive is shot, and all the painkillers make it hard to get an erection. Also she reminds me of my mother on some level, and she fondles my breasts like they're women's breasts, both of which are tremendous turn-offs. I really want to break up with her, but I think she would be crushed, and she's been so supportive about all my health problems.
7. My mother had a manic episode when I was a kid, and she got into drugs and had affairs with women, my dad told me and my sister about it, which was a shitty thing to do. I've always been into girls who are kind of crazy, and I only watch lesbian porn, I used to worry that it had something to do with my mother, but all my friends like crazy girls and like lesbian porn, so whatever.
8. I've only had one good female friend whom I wasn't kind of in love with, and she looks like my grandmother as a young woman.
9. I am very happy with my penis, although I don't like to let women see it flaccid. A flaccid penis is just a very unimpressive thing.
10. As soon I'm in better health, my first order of business is to have a three-way with two girls.
11. I made out with a dude once during spin the bottle. He was a very handsome gay man, but it didn't do anything for me.
12. My dad thinks I'm gay.
13. Once, when I had to have surgery on my ass, and part of it was held together with surgical twine, I hooked up with a really cute girl while I was recovering, and as soon as we finished, I put all my clothes back on, so she wouldn't see it. It made her really uncomfortable and we didn't hang out again.
14. I have a really unstable ego, sexually. Part of me thinks I can get any girl I want (and recent history more or less backs this up) and part of me thinks that I'm completely undesirable. I don't know how many other people feel this way.
15. I definitely have a type, tall women with big hips, who dress like hipsters, have big blue eyes and red hair and are kind of cold, but care a lot about politics and humanitarian issues. It doesn't mean I'm never attracted to other kinds of girls, it's just that if a girl has most of those qualities, I'll put up with pretty much any bullshit. On the other hand, I could never date a woman who's anti-feminist.
16. I have no interest in any kind of BDSM, in fact I find it extremely upsetting... particularly anything that resembles or simulates rape. If a girl asked me to do anything violent to her, I'd probably break up with her on the spot.
17. Once, I was high on Adderal with some friends after a night at a club, 3 dudes, this cute girl, and myself. We were taking joke "sexy" pictures of each other, and this led to all of us guys feeling up this girl, and then going to her bedroom, where she told me and one of the other guys that she didn't know us well enough, and asked us to leave. We went and hung out in her living room, had a great conversation and listened to the clash, he hit on me pretty forcefully, but I'm not into dudes and the whole situation was completely absurd. My pals in the next room asked me to get them bottled water, which seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do at the time, I went into the girl's room and my buddy was masturbating, trying to get an erection (we were on a lot of drugs) and went "dude, look at me". We've never talked about it, and I'm willing to chalk it up to the drugs.
18. Sometimes I love dirty talk, but a woman's vocabulary can really make or break the experience. I remember seeing a movie on showtime where a guy said "a cock is something you fuck with, a dick is something you piss with" and I think that about sums it up. Also, personification of sexual organs just sounds hilarious, calling a vagina "her" makes IT sound like a battleship.
19. I don't see why people think the term "making love" is cheesy, sometimes it's just a good description of what you're doing.
20. With a few exceptions, I want to have sex with all of my female friends.
21. I'm definitely an ass man. A girl with no tits is no big deal, but a girl with no ass and no hips is such a turn-off.
22. My first kiss was when I was 14. She was my first girlfriend. I recently found out that she's married to an army man, and has a baby on the way. She was an extremely warped person then, but I guess a lot of 14 year olds are.
23. I'm still attracted to all but one of my exes. I usually hit on them when I run into them and it's usually pretty uncomfortable.
24. I find other people's sexual histories, and sexual idiosyncrasies extremely interesting.
25. I find female sexuality totally perplexing.
Friday, March 6, 2009
1. I don't really like to define my sexuality. I just like sleeping with the best looking, smartest, funniest, most talented people. If I have good chemistry with a person, I find no reason why it matters whether he or she has a penis or a vagina.
2. Watching people eat is my number one turn-on. There is something about the process of tasting and mastication that gets me all hot and bothered. Decadent meals filled with different flavors, colors, and textures excite me. As a result of my fetish, people tend to gain a lot of weight when we date. One of my ex-girlfriends gained almost 20 pounds in 10 months. No wonder she broke up with me.
3. I've had several threesomes, but only with women. I much prefer having sex with just one person at a time. I really like to focus on the person I'm engaged with and hate to split my attention.
4. I have fucked two guys in the ass with a strap-on. One was my long-term boyfriend at the time who said he was unsure if he liked it, but insisted on taking it hard and often. The other was a casual lover that enthusiastically loved it. I never really enjoyed doing it.
5. I've masturbated 3-5 times a day since I was 12 years old. Even if I have sex all day long, I find a time or create a circumstance where I can masturbate.
6. I don't know much Spanish, but it is the only way I like to talk dirty. I guess the exotic is erotic to me.
7. I lost my virginity to my third boyfriend in high school at age 16. He has a 9" penis and his was the first I ever saw in real life. We dated for years and I assumed that he was an average size. I was disappointed with hetero-sex for a long time after we split up, but now prefer a smaller penis.
8. My boyfriend when I was 15 ended up starting his transition from male to female while we were dating in high school. I began to love him more as he got more fem.
9. I love giving blowjobs. I can go down on a guy for hours. I've never swallowed.
10. I once dated a guy that liked to get peed on. I agreed to pee on him, but only in the shower. I am ashamed to say that I was disgusted and broke up with him shortly after. I never told him that was one of the main reasons.
11. I hate the absence of body hair. I like when men have at least a little chest hair and when women have hairy armpits. I can't stand when people remove all of their pubic hair. It freaks me out and makes oral sex less enjoyable to give. I, myself, do shave my armpits and legs, but only trim my pubies.
12. I know it is snobby, but it is difficult for me to be attracted to someone that hasn't gone to college. The best-looking person I ever dated closely resembled Johnny Depp. When we were out on a date he got stopped and asked for an autograph. After he told me that he (at 27) had never read a whole "chapter book" I had to break things off.
13. My first girlfriend was a porn movie actress. She once got me really drunk and secretly taped us having sex with one of her female co-workers. She put the recording on her website without my knowledge and profited from it. It is the closest thing to rape that I've ever experienced.
14. The only time I've ever been roofied was at a gay pride parade. I was hanging out with a group of queers that I didn't know very well and a very large women slipped something into my drink. I knew something was wrong almost immediately and literally ran away. My disoriented self panicked and I called my dad. I told him the situation and he stayed on the phone with me and helped me stay coherent enough to find my car. I passed out in the back seat with the doors locked and drove home a few hours later. That was many years ago, but my dad and I haven't discussed it since.
15. I have a very addictive personality and I have a tendency to get really obsessed with things that I like. I'll fixate on certain musicians', writers', or artists' work and my passion for the art inevitably leads to me having huge crushes on that creator. In almost every case, I've met and had sexual relationships (not just one night stands) with each person I sought.
16. I've never had a one night stand and only once went home with someone I had met the same day.
17. I am a thin person and had small breasts all through high school. The girls in the locker room used to tease me about my twiglike physique when we changed for swim practice. I guess I was a late bloomer, because I grew to a 32DD in college. Now I am a 32E and could not be happier with my body. Screw you, high school bitches!
18. I don't consider myself a shy person and love to talk about sex all the time and with anyone. Discussing the intricacies of people's fetishes and perversions makes for the best conversations.
19. I love kissing and making out. I could do it for hours. Really anything that involves mouths is pleasurable to me.
20. I've never written or received a love letter, but have sent many dirty text messages.
21. Maybe it is the combination of the perfect rhythm and his voice, but I've recently discovered that Lil Wayne's Carter 3 can make me cum really hard every time I either masturbate or have sex while listening that album.
22. I'm definitely a submissive and like it when I'm choked, thrown around, and bitten during sex. But I never want to be slapped in the face, nor do I want to hit my partner in in the face. I've been asked to several times and by multiple people, but always adamantly refuse.
23. I tend to be extremely loud during sex. This has proved to make awkward conversations with both my housemates and the housemates of the people I'm sleeping with.
24. When I was a child, my brother and cousins used to hold me down and tickle my feet. Now, I can't handle when anyone has contact with my feet at all. Even when I am in bed with someone, I wear socks or keep my feet from ever touching anyone else's skin. It is a big deal and a huge hurdle of trust when I get comfortable enough with someone for our feet to touch.
25. I inevitably have crushes on each of my friends at some point. I've been very conscious of my feelings and have done my best to not sleep with anyone I want to maintain a close non-romantic relationship with. So far, I'd say I'm working at a 75% success rate of not doing it with my friends. To the other 25% of you, either "thanks!" or "sorry!"
2. Watching people eat is my number one turn-on. There is something about the process of tasting and mastication that gets me all hot and bothered. Decadent meals filled with different flavors, colors, and textures excite me. As a result of my fetish, people tend to gain a lot of weight when we date. One of my ex-girlfriends gained almost 20 pounds in 10 months. No wonder she broke up with me.
3. I've had several threesomes, but only with women. I much prefer having sex with just one person at a time. I really like to focus on the person I'm engaged with and hate to split my attention.
4. I have fucked two guys in the ass with a strap-on. One was my long-term boyfriend at the time who said he was unsure if he liked it, but insisted on taking it hard and often. The other was a casual lover that enthusiastically loved it. I never really enjoyed doing it.
5. I've masturbated 3-5 times a day since I was 12 years old. Even if I have sex all day long, I find a time or create a circumstance where I can masturbate.
6. I don't know much Spanish, but it is the only way I like to talk dirty. I guess the exotic is erotic to me.
7. I lost my virginity to my third boyfriend in high school at age 16. He has a 9" penis and his was the first I ever saw in real life. We dated for years and I assumed that he was an average size. I was disappointed with hetero-sex for a long time after we split up, but now prefer a smaller penis.
8. My boyfriend when I was 15 ended up starting his transition from male to female while we were dating in high school. I began to love him more as he got more fem.
9. I love giving blowjobs. I can go down on a guy for hours. I've never swallowed.
10. I once dated a guy that liked to get peed on. I agreed to pee on him, but only in the shower. I am ashamed to say that I was disgusted and broke up with him shortly after. I never told him that was one of the main reasons.
11. I hate the absence of body hair. I like when men have at least a little chest hair and when women have hairy armpits. I can't stand when people remove all of their pubic hair. It freaks me out and makes oral sex less enjoyable to give. I, myself, do shave my armpits and legs, but only trim my pubies.
12. I know it is snobby, but it is difficult for me to be attracted to someone that hasn't gone to college. The best-looking person I ever dated closely resembled Johnny Depp. When we were out on a date he got stopped and asked for an autograph. After he told me that he (at 27) had never read a whole "chapter book" I had to break things off.
13. My first girlfriend was a porn movie actress. She once got me really drunk and secretly taped us having sex with one of her female co-workers. She put the recording on her website without my knowledge and profited from it. It is the closest thing to rape that I've ever experienced.
14. The only time I've ever been roofied was at a gay pride parade. I was hanging out with a group of queers that I didn't know very well and a very large women slipped something into my drink. I knew something was wrong almost immediately and literally ran away. My disoriented self panicked and I called my dad. I told him the situation and he stayed on the phone with me and helped me stay coherent enough to find my car. I passed out in the back seat with the doors locked and drove home a few hours later. That was many years ago, but my dad and I haven't discussed it since.
15. I have a very addictive personality and I have a tendency to get really obsessed with things that I like. I'll fixate on certain musicians', writers', or artists' work and my passion for the art inevitably leads to me having huge crushes on that creator. In almost every case, I've met and had sexual relationships (not just one night stands) with each person I sought.
16. I've never had a one night stand and only once went home with someone I had met the same day.
17. I am a thin person and had small breasts all through high school. The girls in the locker room used to tease me about my twiglike physique when we changed for swim practice. I guess I was a late bloomer, because I grew to a 32DD in college. Now I am a 32E and could not be happier with my body. Screw you, high school bitches!
18. I don't consider myself a shy person and love to talk about sex all the time and with anyone. Discussing the intricacies of people's fetishes and perversions makes for the best conversations.
19. I love kissing and making out. I could do it for hours. Really anything that involves mouths is pleasurable to me.
20. I've never written or received a love letter, but have sent many dirty text messages.
21. Maybe it is the combination of the perfect rhythm and his voice, but I've recently discovered that Lil Wayne's Carter 3 can make me cum really hard every time I either masturbate or have sex while listening that album.
22. I'm definitely a submissive and like it when I'm choked, thrown around, and bitten during sex. But I never want to be slapped in the face, nor do I want to hit my partner in in the face. I've been asked to several times and by multiple people, but always adamantly refuse.
23. I tend to be extremely loud during sex. This has proved to make awkward conversations with both my housemates and the housemates of the people I'm sleeping with.
24. When I was a child, my brother and cousins used to hold me down and tickle my feet. Now, I can't handle when anyone has contact with my feet at all. Even when I am in bed with someone, I wear socks or keep my feet from ever touching anyone else's skin. It is a big deal and a huge hurdle of trust when I get comfortable enough with someone for our feet to touch.
25. I inevitably have crushes on each of my friends at some point. I've been very conscious of my feelings and have done my best to not sleep with anyone I want to maintain a close non-romantic relationship with. So far, I'd say I'm working at a 75% success rate of not doing it with my friends. To the other 25% of you, either "thanks!" or "sorry!"
1. I love my body now, but it took me a long time to get here. I used to think my 34A breasts were too small and my thighs (which are comfortable in size 6 pants) were too large and my legs were too short and my body has 15 lbs more fat on it than it did when I was 16. When I was in the 5th grade my dad said I was starting to get saddlebags and so I started exercising more because I didn't want to be fat, and for a long time I tried to eat healthy so I would be skinnier, and I flirted with anorexia but never dove in completely. But one day I realized that everybody is going to be a little insecure about something and I'm healthy and I'm never going to be any skinnier than I am now, so I might as well quit worrying about things that will never change and embrace what I now realize is an amazing body. Not every guy is going to be into me, sure, but there are plenty of people out there who find me attractive. Now I get pissed off at the companies that make clothing that doesn't fit a healthy human woman instead of getting mad at myself for not fitting into their unrealistic molds, and life is good.
2. I hate the look of a guy who has removed all of his pubic hair. I have shaved since I was a freshman in high school and I love the feel of being mostly bald down there, but hairless testicles look revolting to me. This makes it difficult for me to enjoy porn much of the time.
3. I would love to watch more porn, but I am really turned off by breast implants and sex scenes in which a woman's clit is entirely ignored and she is obviously putting on a show but not getting off. I know there is better porn out there than the mainstream movies, but when I'm horny I can't find good stuff without wading through enough bad stuff to thoroughly turn me off, so for the moment I am sticking to published volumes of erotica (because poor spelling, punctuation, and grammar really turn me off).
4. I gag at the sight of a male porn star ejaculating. I love swallowing after a BJ, but I don't sleep with porn stars. I just find male porn stars (so far, anyway) so unappealing that the sight of their cum disgusts me.
5. I love watching people get off. They can be guys or girls or anything in between, in any combination, just as long as they are turned on and aren't distractingly unattractive.
6. I am totally OK with my partners enjoying porn, as long as I'm still getting laid and they still appreciate me as I am, without breast implants or fake nails.
7. I enjoyed my period since I got it at 15, but I hated the feeling of even the smallest tampons ripping at the walls of my vagina when I tried to remove them. Since I got my Divacup (reusable silicone menstrual cup), I love my period. I think the blood is beautiful and fascinating. I am incredibly horny during my period and hopefully one day my boyfriend will get over the taboo nature of period sex so we can have a messy good time together.
8. I slept with a guy for 3 years who was awful awful awful in bed. He was my first partner so I didn't know any better. He would ejaculate almost immediately during sex, even with a condom. If I gave him head first and then let him get hard again, he could fuck for a couple of minutes. His dick was 4 or 5 inches and fat, and I was always sore afterwards, sometimes for days, because he was just too thick for me. He could only get me off with oral, and I am happy to be rid of him.
9. My father gave me the sex talk and a book (Love and Sex and Growing Up) when I was in the third grade. Somehow I never absorbed the part about women getting wet when they become aroused, and the first time it happened to me I thought I was sick. Up until that point, it was very bad if one of my orifices was leaking liquids, and my mother told me to tell her if anything like cottage cheese came out of me down there, so I thought something must have been wrong. Thank goodness I didn't tell anyone.
10. Once I discovered masturbation, I did it quite frequently. I started at about 11 and by the time I was in high school I did it most nights. I used to rub against pillows, but once I discovered vibrators, I had to have one. I had one of those "doodle pens" where you put in a battery and it drew little spirals on your paper with removable colored pens, and I used it on my clit until I burned out the motor. I went through 3 doodle pens before I was old enough to buy a real vibrator.
11. My favorite sex toys now are my Lelo Gigi (but only on my clit) and my small glass g-spot dildo. I have a Lelo Lily that isn't as strong as the Gigi, and while it doesn't get me off alone, it is wonderful when I need something small and am already really turned on. The Hitachi Magic Wand is way too strong for me, but my boyfriend loves using it on his cock. I like using the We Vibe for masturbation, but it was awkward when it had to sit next to a cock inside of me. When I have more extra cash, I'd like to get a butt plug and a silicone g-spot dildo (because my glass one is too hard when it bangs at my g-spot for a long time).
12. When I was in high school, my family got a digital camera. I used to talk to guys in chat rooms and once they found out I had pictures, they would ask for increasingly sexy shots. I took sexy pictures for them and didn't send them out to everyone in the world, but in retrospect I am sure they got around. I was a nerdy girl who hadn't received a lot of attention from boys, and hearing that I was attractive did a lot for my self-esteem. It makes me feel really sexy to show off my body and I like talking to people about sex, so it was a tough habit to quit, but the conversations became repetitive and I had better things to do. Eventually I realized that all of the guys I had been talking to were real jerks who just wanted to use me as a sexual aid, and I got a boyfriend who told me I was attractive and meant it, so I cut it out. While I really regret what I did, I am thankful that I made these mistakes on the internet instead of with a boyfriend, because I would have totally been fucking at 13 if I found myself alone with a horny guy of the same age. Who knows how many pregnancy scares, STDs, and broken hearts I missed out on by experimenting online, as stupid as it was?
13. I would hate to be hit or degraded during sex, but I love to be held down or restrained. I often orgasm while sitting on my boyfriend's cock while he forces me to hold still so I can only wiggle enough to rub my clit against him a little. I wish he'd be a little more dominant sometimes, but we're still exploring. It makes me really horny to reflect upon my arousal but be forced to wait to get what I want and even beg for it. I love being teased, but it's hard to get enough teasing when my partner is so turned on that he doesn't want to wait anymore either.
14. I love to suck cock. Nothing gets me wet like having a cock in my mouth. I know a lot of women hate this, but I like it when he holds my head still and fucks my face (as long as I can tap him somewhere to let him know when I need to take a breather). To know I'm turning him on so much really gets me hot.
15. I would not want to have a sexual relationship with a guy whose cock was bigger than 7 inches, or too thick. My boyfriend is already big enough that he bangs on my cervix in some positions, and if he were any bigger I don't know how I could have a sexual relationship with him. Pain during sex guarantees that I'm not going to get off, so a cock bigger than 7 inches would mean only having sex in a couple of very specific positions or never having orgasms, and I couldn't deal with that.
16. I wish more guys were uncircumcised. The foreskin is such a wonderful body part and it is awful for someone to cut if off without your consent. If we cut off every body part that got a little dirty if you don't wash it, we wouldn't be left with much.
17. I was put on the pill when I was 15 because I wasn't having regular periods and my parents thought there was something wrong with me. I didn't complain because I liked knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant. I was on the same brand and dose of pills for 8 years, and it made me lactate during my period (to the point that my doctors told me I had a tumor in my pituitary gland and put me on some awful medication that made me fiercely dizzy) and irritated my cervix (to the point that I would bleed a little when penetrated, every time). My gynecologist said "oh, yeah, that happens with the pill sometimes" and did nothing about it, so I thought my symptoms were just something I'd have to deal with if I wanted to use the pill as birth control. I did not realize until I was 23 and went to a different doctor that these things could be avoided on a lower pill dose, and I am much healthier and happier now.
18. I hate how I always have to be on my guard to not say something too sexual around people who don't know me that well yet, or people who might be offended. I like talking about sex and hate having to tiptoe around issues because so many people are uptight about a natural part of human life! I get the reputation as a pretty entertaining drunk because once I lose my inhibitions I start saying the things I'd like to be saying all the time (and do say, when sober, to my good friends and lovers) to acquaintances who haven't seen that side of me before.
19. I like to have my asshole touched and maybe a little penetration with a finger or small toy, but I don't know if I could ever enjoy a cock in my ass (for the moment at least). Thankfully, my partner is not interested in anal sex at the moment.
20. I carry a couple of cotton balls soaked in witch hazel in an old lip balm container in my purse. I squeeze them out and wipe down anywhere I am not feeling 100% fresh to make sure that I am always lickably clean. (Don't get the witch hazel in your pussy, just wipe down the labia.) I also use witch hazel on the places I shave whenever I am in the bathroom washing my face, because it kills germs and makes sure I don't get ingrown hairs. It is a cheap, easy, and natural way to freshen up and I don't understand why more people don't do this. Then again, most people use lube that contains unhealthy ingredients that give me raging yeast infections. Just say no to glycerin, girls!
21. I love my boyfriend and will probably be with him for life, but if we ever break up, I think I would like to date a foot fetishist, especially one with a kink for hosiery and socks. I have an unhealthy habit of bringing home more socks, tights, and shoes than I need, and while my current boyfriend thinks a lot of them are pretty hot, it would be interesting to have my socks become just as sexually thrilling as my bras and panties! I don't think my feet are anything special, but I'd love to see a man look at my feet like he looks at my pussy.
22. I went through that phase in high school when I would do sexual things just to check them off my purity test list, without ever becoming good at any of them or getting off on them. You know, fuzzy pink handcuffs, whipped cream, assorted vegetables, tie each other up once with whatever's lying around, oral and PIV (Penis in Vagina) sex everywhere you can get away with having it, etc. I'm glad I'm over the phase in which I'd try anything just for the hell of it, because my partner and I were just doing things to make ourselves seem adventurous when in reality, he still couldn't get me off. How are you supposed to get off on a park bench when you can't get off on a bed? How do you expect your partner to get you off when you don't know how to give yourself an orgasm? Practice makes perfect. My sex life is still not perfect, but it's better than it ever has been since I decided to make sure that my partner and I were damned good at doing the things that get each other off and worry less about having crazy sexual adventures that don't actually work for us. Now that I've had time to fantasize about what might actually work for me, I have a much better list of things to try, and looking forward to them is half the fun.
23. I can ejaculate. I'm still practicing and my urethral opening is a little too close to my vaginal opening to make it easy to do in most positions, but I'm getting to know myself better every time. I am still overwhelmed because it is a whole lot of liquid and I don't want to need several clean towels every time I have sex, but it is still a pretty neat trick! I didn't notice myself doing it for a long time because sometimes I only squirt a little and usually I just have a clitoral orgasm then lose interest. But I was watching porn on my computer when I was 23 and I didn't want to come so quickly so I was using my g-spot dildo, putting it all the way in then using my PC muscles to push it back out, and then suddenly my foot (which was a couple feet in front of my cunt rather than below it) was drenched with something. It was startling but pretty awesome at the same time.
24. I'm pretty sure that I broke my hymen in the proverbial bike accident. I saw other kids riding their bikes up onto the sidewalk over the curb and it looked easy so I thought I'd try it too, but I ended up falling over. I pretended I was fine, and I appeared to be fine, but something in my pants really hurt where I had never hurt before. I was completely unfamiliar with my genitals at the time (2nd grade?) and thus didn't investigate or know exactly what had happened. I ignored it and since I didn't know what was going on, I didn't think to check my underwear for blood or try to get a good look at myself.
25. I wish that sex-positive culture was more mainstream and accepted. I love Dan Savage and the Sex is Fun Show, and I think they should be required listening for everyone who wants to have a satisfying sex (and love) life.
2. I hate the look of a guy who has removed all of his pubic hair. I have shaved since I was a freshman in high school and I love the feel of being mostly bald down there, but hairless testicles look revolting to me. This makes it difficult for me to enjoy porn much of the time.
3. I would love to watch more porn, but I am really turned off by breast implants and sex scenes in which a woman's clit is entirely ignored and she is obviously putting on a show but not getting off. I know there is better porn out there than the mainstream movies, but when I'm horny I can't find good stuff without wading through enough bad stuff to thoroughly turn me off, so for the moment I am sticking to published volumes of erotica (because poor spelling, punctuation, and grammar really turn me off).
4. I gag at the sight of a male porn star ejaculating. I love swallowing after a BJ, but I don't sleep with porn stars. I just find male porn stars (so far, anyway) so unappealing that the sight of their cum disgusts me.
5. I love watching people get off. They can be guys or girls or anything in between, in any combination, just as long as they are turned on and aren't distractingly unattractive.
6. I am totally OK with my partners enjoying porn, as long as I'm still getting laid and they still appreciate me as I am, without breast implants or fake nails.
7. I enjoyed my period since I got it at 15, but I hated the feeling of even the smallest tampons ripping at the walls of my vagina when I tried to remove them. Since I got my Divacup (reusable silicone menstrual cup), I love my period. I think the blood is beautiful and fascinating. I am incredibly horny during my period and hopefully one day my boyfriend will get over the taboo nature of period sex so we can have a messy good time together.
8. I slept with a guy for 3 years who was awful awful awful in bed. He was my first partner so I didn't know any better. He would ejaculate almost immediately during sex, even with a condom. If I gave him head first and then let him get hard again, he could fuck for a couple of minutes. His dick was 4 or 5 inches and fat, and I was always sore afterwards, sometimes for days, because he was just too thick for me. He could only get me off with oral, and I am happy to be rid of him.
9. My father gave me the sex talk and a book (Love and Sex and Growing Up) when I was in the third grade. Somehow I never absorbed the part about women getting wet when they become aroused, and the first time it happened to me I thought I was sick. Up until that point, it was very bad if one of my orifices was leaking liquids, and my mother told me to tell her if anything like cottage cheese came out of me down there, so I thought something must have been wrong. Thank goodness I didn't tell anyone.
10. Once I discovered masturbation, I did it quite frequently. I started at about 11 and by the time I was in high school I did it most nights. I used to rub against pillows, but once I discovered vibrators, I had to have one. I had one of those "doodle pens" where you put in a battery and it drew little spirals on your paper with removable colored pens, and I used it on my clit until I burned out the motor. I went through 3 doodle pens before I was old enough to buy a real vibrator.
11. My favorite sex toys now are my Lelo Gigi (but only on my clit) and my small glass g-spot dildo. I have a Lelo Lily that isn't as strong as the Gigi, and while it doesn't get me off alone, it is wonderful when I need something small and am already really turned on. The Hitachi Magic Wand is way too strong for me, but my boyfriend loves using it on his cock. I like using the We Vibe for masturbation, but it was awkward when it had to sit next to a cock inside of me. When I have more extra cash, I'd like to get a butt plug and a silicone g-spot dildo (because my glass one is too hard when it bangs at my g-spot for a long time).
12. When I was in high school, my family got a digital camera. I used to talk to guys in chat rooms and once they found out I had pictures, they would ask for increasingly sexy shots. I took sexy pictures for them and didn't send them out to everyone in the world, but in retrospect I am sure they got around. I was a nerdy girl who hadn't received a lot of attention from boys, and hearing that I was attractive did a lot for my self-esteem. It makes me feel really sexy to show off my body and I like talking to people about sex, so it was a tough habit to quit, but the conversations became repetitive and I had better things to do. Eventually I realized that all of the guys I had been talking to were real jerks who just wanted to use me as a sexual aid, and I got a boyfriend who told me I was attractive and meant it, so I cut it out. While I really regret what I did, I am thankful that I made these mistakes on the internet instead of with a boyfriend, because I would have totally been fucking at 13 if I found myself alone with a horny guy of the same age. Who knows how many pregnancy scares, STDs, and broken hearts I missed out on by experimenting online, as stupid as it was?
13. I would hate to be hit or degraded during sex, but I love to be held down or restrained. I often orgasm while sitting on my boyfriend's cock while he forces me to hold still so I can only wiggle enough to rub my clit against him a little. I wish he'd be a little more dominant sometimes, but we're still exploring. It makes me really horny to reflect upon my arousal but be forced to wait to get what I want and even beg for it. I love being teased, but it's hard to get enough teasing when my partner is so turned on that he doesn't want to wait anymore either.
14. I love to suck cock. Nothing gets me wet like having a cock in my mouth. I know a lot of women hate this, but I like it when he holds my head still and fucks my face (as long as I can tap him somewhere to let him know when I need to take a breather). To know I'm turning him on so much really gets me hot.
15. I would not want to have a sexual relationship with a guy whose cock was bigger than 7 inches, or too thick. My boyfriend is already big enough that he bangs on my cervix in some positions, and if he were any bigger I don't know how I could have a sexual relationship with him. Pain during sex guarantees that I'm not going to get off, so a cock bigger than 7 inches would mean only having sex in a couple of very specific positions or never having orgasms, and I couldn't deal with that.
16. I wish more guys were uncircumcised. The foreskin is such a wonderful body part and it is awful for someone to cut if off without your consent. If we cut off every body part that got a little dirty if you don't wash it, we wouldn't be left with much.
17. I was put on the pill when I was 15 because I wasn't having regular periods and my parents thought there was something wrong with me. I didn't complain because I liked knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant. I was on the same brand and dose of pills for 8 years, and it made me lactate during my period (to the point that my doctors told me I had a tumor in my pituitary gland and put me on some awful medication that made me fiercely dizzy) and irritated my cervix (to the point that I would bleed a little when penetrated, every time). My gynecologist said "oh, yeah, that happens with the pill sometimes" and did nothing about it, so I thought my symptoms were just something I'd have to deal with if I wanted to use the pill as birth control. I did not realize until I was 23 and went to a different doctor that these things could be avoided on a lower pill dose, and I am much healthier and happier now.
18. I hate how I always have to be on my guard to not say something too sexual around people who don't know me that well yet, or people who might be offended. I like talking about sex and hate having to tiptoe around issues because so many people are uptight about a natural part of human life! I get the reputation as a pretty entertaining drunk because once I lose my inhibitions I start saying the things I'd like to be saying all the time (and do say, when sober, to my good friends and lovers) to acquaintances who haven't seen that side of me before.
19. I like to have my asshole touched and maybe a little penetration with a finger or small toy, but I don't know if I could ever enjoy a cock in my ass (for the moment at least). Thankfully, my partner is not interested in anal sex at the moment.
20. I carry a couple of cotton balls soaked in witch hazel in an old lip balm container in my purse. I squeeze them out and wipe down anywhere I am not feeling 100% fresh to make sure that I am always lickably clean. (Don't get the witch hazel in your pussy, just wipe down the labia.) I also use witch hazel on the places I shave whenever I am in the bathroom washing my face, because it kills germs and makes sure I don't get ingrown hairs. It is a cheap, easy, and natural way to freshen up and I don't understand why more people don't do this. Then again, most people use lube that contains unhealthy ingredients that give me raging yeast infections. Just say no to glycerin, girls!
21. I love my boyfriend and will probably be with him for life, but if we ever break up, I think I would like to date a foot fetishist, especially one with a kink for hosiery and socks. I have an unhealthy habit of bringing home more socks, tights, and shoes than I need, and while my current boyfriend thinks a lot of them are pretty hot, it would be interesting to have my socks become just as sexually thrilling as my bras and panties! I don't think my feet are anything special, but I'd love to see a man look at my feet like he looks at my pussy.
22. I went through that phase in high school when I would do sexual things just to check them off my purity test list, without ever becoming good at any of them or getting off on them. You know, fuzzy pink handcuffs, whipped cream, assorted vegetables, tie each other up once with whatever's lying around, oral and PIV (Penis in Vagina) sex everywhere you can get away with having it, etc. I'm glad I'm over the phase in which I'd try anything just for the hell of it, because my partner and I were just doing things to make ourselves seem adventurous when in reality, he still couldn't get me off. How are you supposed to get off on a park bench when you can't get off on a bed? How do you expect your partner to get you off when you don't know how to give yourself an orgasm? Practice makes perfect. My sex life is still not perfect, but it's better than it ever has been since I decided to make sure that my partner and I were damned good at doing the things that get each other off and worry less about having crazy sexual adventures that don't actually work for us. Now that I've had time to fantasize about what might actually work for me, I have a much better list of things to try, and looking forward to them is half the fun.
23. I can ejaculate. I'm still practicing and my urethral opening is a little too close to my vaginal opening to make it easy to do in most positions, but I'm getting to know myself better every time. I am still overwhelmed because it is a whole lot of liquid and I don't want to need several clean towels every time I have sex, but it is still a pretty neat trick! I didn't notice myself doing it for a long time because sometimes I only squirt a little and usually I just have a clitoral orgasm then lose interest. But I was watching porn on my computer when I was 23 and I didn't want to come so quickly so I was using my g-spot dildo, putting it all the way in then using my PC muscles to push it back out, and then suddenly my foot (which was a couple feet in front of my cunt rather than below it) was drenched with something. It was startling but pretty awesome at the same time.
24. I'm pretty sure that I broke my hymen in the proverbial bike accident. I saw other kids riding their bikes up onto the sidewalk over the curb and it looked easy so I thought I'd try it too, but I ended up falling over. I pretended I was fine, and I appeared to be fine, but something in my pants really hurt where I had never hurt before. I was completely unfamiliar with my genitals at the time (2nd grade?) and thus didn't investigate or know exactly what had happened. I ignored it and since I didn't know what was going on, I didn't think to check my underwear for blood or try to get a good look at myself.
25. I wish that sex-positive culture was more mainstream and accepted. I love Dan Savage and the Sex is Fun Show, and I think they should be required listening for everyone who wants to have a satisfying sex (and love) life.
1. I have had sex with four guys, over the course of four years, two of which I dated.
2. I lost my virginity when I was 16, with a lot of enthusiasm. I really loved it despite the fact that I didn't orgasm. I thought it was beautiful and intimate though.
3. I've never orgasmed during sex or with a partner. I've orgasmed one time, by myself.
4. I am preoccupied by orgasm. I think about them all of the time. I think this is because it is so challenging for me to reach one. I think about other people's orgasms, how often they masturbate, how easy it is for them to orgasm, how good it was for them. I masturbate a few times a week, and I've used EFT to try to make orgasms come easier. I am worried it will never happen again.
5. I mentally feel like I'm missing out on something everyone else experiences regularly, but physically I don't feel deprived.
6. I love kissing. Most of the time that is all I want to do. Sometimes I kiss people that Im not attracted to, and if it is good I definitely like them more. When I meet people I think about if I would kiss them and what it would be like.
7. I also think about people in sexual situations a lot. My bosses, old people. friends, unattractive people. I think about what they look like having sex and what they look like naked.
8. I regret three of the four guys. Most of the time I wish I had only slept with guy #1.
9. I dated guy #1 for almost a year, when I was 16. I felt really comfortable with his body and mine, and most of my firsts were with him. We used to do random sexual acts everywhere- cars, bathrooms, lakes, dressing rooms, etc. It was always fun and innocent in ways. When I try to do things like this now, with different people, I just feel dirty and inappropriate.
10. When things started to go bad with guy #1 he did some things that could be considered rape. I really cared for him, and have forgiven him, so I try not to think about it now. I have no idea if this has an effect on my sex life now. I don't have any rape fears or fantasies currently.
11. I don't feel confident and sexy when naked because I don't think I look like a "woman". In other words; hips, breasts, curves, smooth skin. I think I look like a child.
12. Dirty talk doesn't really get me. If you say "I want to fuck you" I will probably want to roll over and go to sleep, but if you play hard to get I will probably try to rip your clothes off.
13. I don't particularly plan on or want to get married, but sometimes I think to myself that no one would marry me or even want to date me unless I could orgasm easier.
14. My parents never gave me a sex talk. And I've never been caught doing anything sexual. The most my mom has ever said to me about sex was "use protection" and "don't get drunk and do anything stupid". My dad has never said a word to me about sex.
15. One time, I asked my mom how many partners she's had. She said 5. At the time, I was with guy #1 and I thought that was a very decent, acceptable number. Now that I'm approaching 5, I wonder how she kept that number so low.
16. I get really curious about the number of sexual partners my friends have had. I try not to judge, but I think that number says something about you and it makes me so curious I cannot help but ask.
17. I don't think I ever masturbated as a child, but I did have this female friend when I was about 5 or 6 that used to kiss and touch me during nap time in kindergarden. I don't remember how I felt about this, except I never felt freaked out, and we were friends until we both moved away.
18. During sex, I have a hard time talking. My mind really just goes blank and I often can't say coherent things- even to tell my partner to stop or if something feels good. Everyone I've been with hates this, and so do I.
19. Guy #3 was a sex god and thinking about him now still gets me hot. But being with him would probably represent a low point in my sexual life. I didn't feel totally comfortable with him and I rushed into sex, got emotionally attached, scared him away, and was left heartbroken. He's the most attractive guy I've ever been with and when we were together he really boosted my self esteem and made me feel really attractive.
20. Guy #4 and I dated for about six months and during this time he had a condition with his prostate (I think) that caused him to have trouble peeing and also made sex uncomfortable and sometimes painful for him. He didn't tell me this at first and sometime in the beginning of our relationship we were drinking and ended up having sex. Almost immediately after that he stopped being affectionate with me, sex, kissing, etc. This really hurt my feelings and my self esteem, especially because I didn't know why he was doing this. When I finally brought it up, he reluctantly told me about this prostate problem and told me that he had been intentionally avoiding contact with me but wasn't planning on telling me WHY, and he was just waiting for his problem to go away. I felt like shit and completely undesirable throughout this entire relationship and this still bothers me.
21. My only sexual encounter with a female is the one time a girl hit on me at a gay bar and we made out in my car. She was gorgeous and I like kissing (#6) but I wasn't into it. When we stopped kissing I just wanted her to leave.
22. I really like to see myself being touched, grabbed, penetrated, etc. while it's happening.
23. I think I have technically cheated on two of my boyfriends (by kissing another, not sex) and while I think cheating is wrong and shameful, I don't feel bad about either. The first boyfriend mostly shrugged it off and the other will probably never know, but has been shitty to me enough that I don't care.
24. I like receiving oral but sometimes I feel like it sounds like a better idea than it actually is.
25. I'm optimistic that as I get older my sex drive will increase and my sex life will get better.
2. I lost my virginity when I was 16, with a lot of enthusiasm. I really loved it despite the fact that I didn't orgasm. I thought it was beautiful and intimate though.
3. I've never orgasmed during sex or with a partner. I've orgasmed one time, by myself.
4. I am preoccupied by orgasm. I think about them all of the time. I think this is because it is so challenging for me to reach one. I think about other people's orgasms, how often they masturbate, how easy it is for them to orgasm, how good it was for them. I masturbate a few times a week, and I've used EFT to try to make orgasms come easier. I am worried it will never happen again.
5. I mentally feel like I'm missing out on something everyone else experiences regularly, but physically I don't feel deprived.
6. I love kissing. Most of the time that is all I want to do. Sometimes I kiss people that Im not attracted to, and if it is good I definitely like them more. When I meet people I think about if I would kiss them and what it would be like.
7. I also think about people in sexual situations a lot. My bosses, old people. friends, unattractive people. I think about what they look like having sex and what they look like naked.
8. I regret three of the four guys. Most of the time I wish I had only slept with guy #1.
9. I dated guy #1 for almost a year, when I was 16. I felt really comfortable with his body and mine, and most of my firsts were with him. We used to do random sexual acts everywhere- cars, bathrooms, lakes, dressing rooms, etc. It was always fun and innocent in ways. When I try to do things like this now, with different people, I just feel dirty and inappropriate.
10. When things started to go bad with guy #1 he did some things that could be considered rape. I really cared for him, and have forgiven him, so I try not to think about it now. I have no idea if this has an effect on my sex life now. I don't have any rape fears or fantasies currently.
11. I don't feel confident and sexy when naked because I don't think I look like a "woman". In other words; hips, breasts, curves, smooth skin. I think I look like a child.
12. Dirty talk doesn't really get me. If you say "I want to fuck you" I will probably want to roll over and go to sleep, but if you play hard to get I will probably try to rip your clothes off.
13. I don't particularly plan on or want to get married, but sometimes I think to myself that no one would marry me or even want to date me unless I could orgasm easier.
14. My parents never gave me a sex talk. And I've never been caught doing anything sexual. The most my mom has ever said to me about sex was "use protection" and "don't get drunk and do anything stupid". My dad has never said a word to me about sex.
15. One time, I asked my mom how many partners she's had. She said 5. At the time, I was with guy #1 and I thought that was a very decent, acceptable number. Now that I'm approaching 5, I wonder how she kept that number so low.
16. I get really curious about the number of sexual partners my friends have had. I try not to judge, but I think that number says something about you and it makes me so curious I cannot help but ask.
17. I don't think I ever masturbated as a child, but I did have this female friend when I was about 5 or 6 that used to kiss and touch me during nap time in kindergarden. I don't remember how I felt about this, except I never felt freaked out, and we were friends until we both moved away.
18. During sex, I have a hard time talking. My mind really just goes blank and I often can't say coherent things- even to tell my partner to stop or if something feels good. Everyone I've been with hates this, and so do I.
19. Guy #3 was a sex god and thinking about him now still gets me hot. But being with him would probably represent a low point in my sexual life. I didn't feel totally comfortable with him and I rushed into sex, got emotionally attached, scared him away, and was left heartbroken. He's the most attractive guy I've ever been with and when we were together he really boosted my self esteem and made me feel really attractive.
20. Guy #4 and I dated for about six months and during this time he had a condition with his prostate (I think) that caused him to have trouble peeing and also made sex uncomfortable and sometimes painful for him. He didn't tell me this at first and sometime in the beginning of our relationship we were drinking and ended up having sex. Almost immediately after that he stopped being affectionate with me, sex, kissing, etc. This really hurt my feelings and my self esteem, especially because I didn't know why he was doing this. When I finally brought it up, he reluctantly told me about this prostate problem and told me that he had been intentionally avoiding contact with me but wasn't planning on telling me WHY, and he was just waiting for his problem to go away. I felt like shit and completely undesirable throughout this entire relationship and this still bothers me.
21. My only sexual encounter with a female is the one time a girl hit on me at a gay bar and we made out in my car. She was gorgeous and I like kissing (#6) but I wasn't into it. When we stopped kissing I just wanted her to leave.
22. I really like to see myself being touched, grabbed, penetrated, etc. while it's happening.
23. I think I have technically cheated on two of my boyfriends (by kissing another, not sex) and while I think cheating is wrong and shameful, I don't feel bad about either. The first boyfriend mostly shrugged it off and the other will probably never know, but has been shitty to me enough that I don't care.
24. I like receiving oral but sometimes I feel like it sounds like a better idea than it actually is.
25. I'm optimistic that as I get older my sex drive will increase and my sex life will get better.
1. I am excruciatingly vanilla--about as nonkinky as it gets.
2. But most of my social circle is distinctly non-vanilla. This is doubly frustrating: being a heteronormative dude means that I never know if my desires come from my true self, or if they're just the way I've been culturally socialized. Meanwhile, I've been subculturally socialized into figuring that not claiming some kind of distinct sexual identity of my own is a failure of self-awareness. So I always suspect I'm somehow missing the point. Plus I end up using words like "heteronormative" and "cisgender" to describe myself, which makes everyone roll their eyes.
3. On my first date with my first real girlfriend, she took me to a partially constructed house, then stood around getting increasingly irritated while I tried to figure out what the looks she was giving me meant. I later found out that her previous boyfriend had deflowered her in a partially constructed house on their first date, and that she'd assumed that was just how it was done.
4. I lost my virginity to a friend of my college roommate. I'd told her I didn't want to have sex, but she went ahead and did what she wanted to do anyway, and I didn't fight; I figured I might as well get it over with. It hurt, and she kept calling me what I later learned was the name of her high school English teacher. I didn't have sex with anyone again for more than a year, in part because shortly thereafter I got a girlfriend who was terrified by the idea.
5. I've always wanted to be somebody's first--in part to make sure somebody's first sexual experience was better than mine was. I think I can say with certainty at this point that that's never going to happen.
6. I'm incredibly grateful to almost everyone who's ever slept with me. A few of those experiences were, on their own, not so great, but most of them have been amazing, and every one of them has taught me things I value knowing about the people I've been with. A+++ would do again.
7. For a few years in my early 20s, I pretty much exclusively dated women who self-identified as lesbians--enough that it became a joke with my friends. (My response was usually that they were only a subcategory of the women I was attracted to, but they were the only ones who were attracted to me.) The advantage of this was that they were aware of what they wanted and able to articulate it. The disadvantage is that... there's nothing like having sex, or more often not having sex, with people who like you DESPITE your body to give you a complex.
8. In fact, there were at least three occasions when an ostensibly straight woman set up on a date with me realized mid-date that she was gay. This was not just an avoidance tactic--this was, like, a year later she gets in touch with me and she's living in Berlin with her girlfriend.
9. Here's the difference between a voyeur and an exhibitionist: a friend of mine asked me, a couple of years back, if I liked watching people in sexual situations. Totally, I said, of course. Then she asked how I felt about having people watch me. My immediate reaction wasn't even "no," it was "why in God's name would anybody want to do that?"
10. My tastes in porn are pretty specific: it has to be mixed-gender, more or less unstaged, and consensual. Which is to say that the participants have to be okay with having a camera there (and any hint of coercion, humiliation, etc., is a total buzzkill), but doing what they'd do if there weren't a camera there. As you might guess, this limits my options some.
11. I've tried phone sex exactly once, with a long-distance friend I'd never met in person. She called me up, chatted for a bit, then asked if I liked phone sex. I said uh, sure, tell me what you're thinking you'd like to do. A few minutes in, her monologue switched gears to a fantasy of pulling out a knife and cutting me all over. I freaked out and hung up. That was the end of that for me.
12. Another thing I've done only once (but wish I'd gotten to do more): got a booty call from a near-total stranger. Weirdly enough, it resulted in a friendship that's now gone on for a decade, although we've never done anything sexual again.
13. I've slept with people 10 years older than me (when I was 21) and 10 years younger than me (when I was 29).
14. An old girlfriend of mine once told me that her subsequent boyfriend had broken up with her when she told him she couldn't come without thinking about me. I felt bad for them both, but it's also probably the nicest compliment I've ever gotten.
15. There are naked pictures of me on the Internet. Discovering them was a little bit of a relief, oddly; I didn't have to worry about it happening any more.
16. I think most alpha males are despicable, or rather they use their alpha-ness in despicable ways. I have also always kind of wanted to be one. For the most part, I couldn't do "threatening" if you covered me with razor blades.
17. It may be because I'm relatively non-threatening that lots of women I know talk to me, a lot, about their sexual experiences. Which is flattering, and at least I get to live vicariously.
18. Several years into the most serious relationship I'd ever had, one night I said: you know, I'd kind of like to try being really aggressive and forceful and dominant during sex. Okay, she said, and we discussed it and then we did it. Huh, I said afterwards, that was pretty interesting, maybe we could explore that some more. Actually, she said, it didn't do anything for me, and by the way I've been meaning to tell you I think we should break up. And that was the end of that for me.
19. On the other end of things: I am genuinely not submissive. I'm just a milquetoast. There's a difference. The few times anybody's tried to dominate me I've mostly just found it vaguely amusing but totally unsexy.
20. I am almost 40, and just in the last year or two, my libido has made a massive leap. I'm more acutely aware of women as sexual beings than I've ever been before. I feel like 17-year-old boys are reputed to feel. I catch myself staring a lot. It's frustrating and distracting.
21. So I keep telling myself: these impulses you're having? They're just desires. They're not needs. Nobody else is obligated to tolerate you acting on them. You won't die if you won't. You might live a good long life. Look her in the eyes, or look away.
22. I'm terrible at reading people's signals. Just astonishingly bad. There have been times when people I had severe crushes on have traveled across the country to try to jump my bones, and I've thought they were just being friendly; there have been times when I've thought friends were all but begging me to kiss them, and when I've tried they've stopped talking to me.
23. ...But it's also true that at least a couple of times I've realized that someone wanted me, but I kept playing dumb about it until I forced her to say it outright, at which point I turned her down. Not even because I wasn't interested in her--just to claim that power for myself. It took a while before I realized what an awful thing that was to do, and I regret it now.
24. I try so hard not to be creepy that I end up being creepy anyway. I have occasional suspicions that I am just a beard, a Leica and a baseball cap away from being That Guy.
25. Many of my friends have had sexual awakenings of one kind or another in the past decade or so--the sort of experiences that realign them altogether, realizations that make them somehow more fully actualized as people. I am still asleep, I suspect, and I often wonder how or if I'm ever going to wake up.
2. But most of my social circle is distinctly non-vanilla. This is doubly frustrating: being a heteronormative dude means that I never know if my desires come from my true self, or if they're just the way I've been culturally socialized. Meanwhile, I've been subculturally socialized into figuring that not claiming some kind of distinct sexual identity of my own is a failure of self-awareness. So I always suspect I'm somehow missing the point. Plus I end up using words like "heteronormative" and "cisgender" to describe myself, which makes everyone roll their eyes.
3. On my first date with my first real girlfriend, she took me to a partially constructed house, then stood around getting increasingly irritated while I tried to figure out what the looks she was giving me meant. I later found out that her previous boyfriend had deflowered her in a partially constructed house on their first date, and that she'd assumed that was just how it was done.
4. I lost my virginity to a friend of my college roommate. I'd told her I didn't want to have sex, but she went ahead and did what she wanted to do anyway, and I didn't fight; I figured I might as well get it over with. It hurt, and she kept calling me what I later learned was the name of her high school English teacher. I didn't have sex with anyone again for more than a year, in part because shortly thereafter I got a girlfriend who was terrified by the idea.
5. I've always wanted to be somebody's first--in part to make sure somebody's first sexual experience was better than mine was. I think I can say with certainty at this point that that's never going to happen.
6. I'm incredibly grateful to almost everyone who's ever slept with me. A few of those experiences were, on their own, not so great, but most of them have been amazing, and every one of them has taught me things I value knowing about the people I've been with. A+++ would do again.
7. For a few years in my early 20s, I pretty much exclusively dated women who self-identified as lesbians--enough that it became a joke with my friends. (My response was usually that they were only a subcategory of the women I was attracted to, but they were the only ones who were attracted to me.) The advantage of this was that they were aware of what they wanted and able to articulate it. The disadvantage is that... there's nothing like having sex, or more often not having sex, with people who like you DESPITE your body to give you a complex.
8. In fact, there were at least three occasions when an ostensibly straight woman set up on a date with me realized mid-date that she was gay. This was not just an avoidance tactic--this was, like, a year later she gets in touch with me and she's living in Berlin with her girlfriend.
9. Here's the difference between a voyeur and an exhibitionist: a friend of mine asked me, a couple of years back, if I liked watching people in sexual situations. Totally, I said, of course. Then she asked how I felt about having people watch me. My immediate reaction wasn't even "no," it was "why in God's name would anybody want to do that?"
10. My tastes in porn are pretty specific: it has to be mixed-gender, more or less unstaged, and consensual. Which is to say that the participants have to be okay with having a camera there (and any hint of coercion, humiliation, etc., is a total buzzkill), but doing what they'd do if there weren't a camera there. As you might guess, this limits my options some.
11. I've tried phone sex exactly once, with a long-distance friend I'd never met in person. She called me up, chatted for a bit, then asked if I liked phone sex. I said uh, sure, tell me what you're thinking you'd like to do. A few minutes in, her monologue switched gears to a fantasy of pulling out a knife and cutting me all over. I freaked out and hung up. That was the end of that for me.
12. Another thing I've done only once (but wish I'd gotten to do more): got a booty call from a near-total stranger. Weirdly enough, it resulted in a friendship that's now gone on for a decade, although we've never done anything sexual again.
13. I've slept with people 10 years older than me (when I was 21) and 10 years younger than me (when I was 29).
14. An old girlfriend of mine once told me that her subsequent boyfriend had broken up with her when she told him she couldn't come without thinking about me. I felt bad for them both, but it's also probably the nicest compliment I've ever gotten.
15. There are naked pictures of me on the Internet. Discovering them was a little bit of a relief, oddly; I didn't have to worry about it happening any more.
16. I think most alpha males are despicable, or rather they use their alpha-ness in despicable ways. I have also always kind of wanted to be one. For the most part, I couldn't do "threatening" if you covered me with razor blades.
17. It may be because I'm relatively non-threatening that lots of women I know talk to me, a lot, about their sexual experiences. Which is flattering, and at least I get to live vicariously.
18. Several years into the most serious relationship I'd ever had, one night I said: you know, I'd kind of like to try being really aggressive and forceful and dominant during sex. Okay, she said, and we discussed it and then we did it. Huh, I said afterwards, that was pretty interesting, maybe we could explore that some more. Actually, she said, it didn't do anything for me, and by the way I've been meaning to tell you I think we should break up. And that was the end of that for me.
19. On the other end of things: I am genuinely not submissive. I'm just a milquetoast. There's a difference. The few times anybody's tried to dominate me I've mostly just found it vaguely amusing but totally unsexy.
20. I am almost 40, and just in the last year or two, my libido has made a massive leap. I'm more acutely aware of women as sexual beings than I've ever been before. I feel like 17-year-old boys are reputed to feel. I catch myself staring a lot. It's frustrating and distracting.
21. So I keep telling myself: these impulses you're having? They're just desires. They're not needs. Nobody else is obligated to tolerate you acting on them. You won't die if you won't. You might live a good long life. Look her in the eyes, or look away.
22. I'm terrible at reading people's signals. Just astonishingly bad. There have been times when people I had severe crushes on have traveled across the country to try to jump my bones, and I've thought they were just being friendly; there have been times when I've thought friends were all but begging me to kiss them, and when I've tried they've stopped talking to me.
23. ...But it's also true that at least a couple of times I've realized that someone wanted me, but I kept playing dumb about it until I forced her to say it outright, at which point I turned her down. Not even because I wasn't interested in her--just to claim that power for myself. It took a while before I realized what an awful thing that was to do, and I regret it now.
24. I try so hard not to be creepy that I end up being creepy anyway. I have occasional suspicions that I am just a beard, a Leica and a baseball cap away from being That Guy.
25. Many of my friends have had sexual awakenings of one kind or another in the past decade or so--the sort of experiences that realign them altogether, realizations that make them somehow more fully actualized as people. I am still asleep, I suspect, and I often wonder how or if I'm ever going to wake up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)