1. I identify as pansexual. Though most of my sexual experiences have been with cismen, the best and most fulfilling have been with female-bodied people. People I’m generally attracted to, in order by gender: genderfuckers/androgynes, FTMs, MTFs, ciswomen, cismen.
2. I feel like I am of a polyamorous mindset, but I've never really been in a poly relationship. I'd love to try it, and luckily my current partner is poly too. However, I'm afraid of what could happen if it goes wrong, particularly with the knowledge that my partner's last relationship (of three years) ended due to complications with polyamory.
3. I'm far more comfortable having sex with female-bodied people, and I generally orgasm much sooner. Dicks just make me kind of uncomfortable, and I never feel like I'm "doing it right" when I'm with a male-bodied person.
4. Depending on the person I'm with, my preferences and comfort level can range from uber vanilla to fairly kinky. There are lots of aspects of kink and BDSM that I'm NOT AT ALL into or okay with though. I like to think that I know my limits, I know what lies within my interest range, and I trust myself enough to explore within my comfort level.
5. I really want to try having a threesome. A fantasy of mine is to be an experimental "third" for a hetero couple.
6. As a kid, I matured more quickly than pretty much all my classmates, and I subconsciously tried to compensate for it by being hella awkward, wearing baggy clothes that hid my body, denying my sexuality, and denying the chance that I might not be straight. However, I still think it's ridiculous for anyone younger than high school to date each other.
7. I went from being convinced I was super het (middle school) to being convinced I was only a dyke (high school). Then (since high school) I've thought a lot about gender and sexuality, written a lot of introspective diary entries, fallen in love with a man (and then another one), and decided that I'm genderqueer/agender and queer/pansexual.
8. I’m shy and awkward and have a hard time reaching out to people I’m interested in. That’s not a problem with men, since they expect to make the first moves, but I find that I have to grow a pair (of ovaries) when I'm interested in a woman. Since I'm not very good at that, this means I mostly date guys even though I'm only marginally attracted to them.
9. PIV is extremely painful for me and I've grown to despise it. I also hate giving BJs because it hurts my jaw and my piercings (but when I'm drunk, all I want to do is suck dick). However, I still find myself doing these things because I want to please my partner--does that make me bad at self-respect, standing up for myself, and self-consent? I love giving oral to owners of vulvas, though.
10. I obsessively chart my fertility. I love knowing when I'm fertile and when I'm not; it makes me feel powerful and in control. It's also brought me so much more in tune with my body: e.g., I notice now that I have sexy dreams when I'm fertile, and I never feel like masturbating when I'm not. It also works! It's pretty much the only birth control I use right now (only occasionally we'll use a condom) (I'm allergic to latex and the other kind is expensive and too small for him), and thankfully it works. I want to get sterilized someday when I can afford it.
11. I love my partner, and he loves me. We've been together for six months, but we're still just exploring each other and figuring out what we want from each other. I love the fact that he gets hard with just a quick hello kiss, and that he orgasms at the very least twice every time we fuck. I'm not a huge fan of cock, but there's something very sexy about such an obvious physical display of arousal and knowing that I caused it.
12. I love using a strap-on. I've never used one with a male partner before, but I'd like to. I think my partner would be into it but neither of us have one so I haven't brought it up. I HATE being penetrated with a strap-on.
13. My first kiss was at age 16, with the first boy I'd ever had a legit crush on, which in itself was rather shocking because until that point I thought I was a lesbian. It was also my first time meeting a penis, and I didn't know what to do with it. He was way more sexually experienced than I was, and loved me as a friend but only wanted to fuck so we both agreed that we weren't a great match at the time. Now he's in a repressive, caustic relationship with a jealous, controlling woman; they've been together for over four years.
14. I've had sexual experiences with some number of people, but I don't really define them all as sex—I have kind of strict definitions, I guess. Other than one one-night-stand, I still dearly love (not necessarily romantically) all four people I would say I've had sex with.
15. My bad habits in relationships are a) being lazy and shy and reverting to a stereotypical "feminine" way of acting, especially if I really like the person; and b) treating people who don't like me as a challenge, feeling drawn to them and trying to make them love me. My good habits are a) being very emotionally honest; and b) often reassessing the status of my feelings and the other person's feelings.
16. Even when I'm having sex with someone, I usually end up imagining other sexual scenarios in order to get off.
17. I think pretty much all non-shaved vulvas are exceptionally sexy. With cocks, I'm a bit more picky... if I’m even into penis at the moment, I definitely prefer little ones. I think circumcised penises are really fucking weird-looking (not to mention hard to use), but they have the advantage of being thinner, and therefore less painful. My current partner has a big uncut penis, which is nice to look at if you're into that sort of thing, but really hella painful. My last partner has a small circumcised penis, which I definitely preferred.
18. I think most porn is cheesy, forced, and misogynist. I don't like seeing perfectly smooth, hairless pink genitals rubbing each other and monster cocks squirting a half cup onto a generically attractive hetero woman's face. I want to see normal, happy people fucking in varied ways and having fun—that’s sexy. Due to the huge amount of shitty porn, I don’t look at it or for it, but when I do come across porn that looks natural, happy, and respectful, it makes me pretty happy.
19. I've been sexually active since age 17 (with mostly female-bodied people), but I've been having sex with guys for only the past year. I haven't had sex with any FAAB people since the first time I had PIV—not because I've become hetero (far from it), just because I've only dated two people since then and they're both male.
20. There are dozens of people I would have sex with if they asked me to. I often fantasize about my friends, even if I don't feel attracted to them.
21. I've always been super uncomfortable with the idea of anything anal-related, and have thus avoided it. However, my partner loves everything anal-related, and I recently let him rim me... I kept thinking "oh my god I can't believe I'm letting you do this but FUCK it feels amazing." Soooo maybe there's an anal future in store for me...? The idea gives me the heebie jeebies though.
22. I love consent, even though it can be super duper awkward. I like asking people if I can do things, and I like being asked. I like saying yes and I like saying no. I like knowing what I want and I like knowing what someone else wants. I'm still working on figuring out how to know what I'm comfortable with.
23. The first person I had PIV with was a rather selfish lover, which I didn't notice at the time because he was my first full-on hetero experience and because I was so into him and afraid of doing anything wrong lest I risk losing him. (Of course, he ditched me after a couple months for someone far more outgoing, and punk than I am.) My current partner is just the opposite, which I LOVE (especially due to my aversion to cocks) but sometimes I fear that he feels that I'm selfish...
24. I miss women; I miss feeling like a dyke. I feel very queer, even though I’m overwhelmingly read as straight (especially since I've been dating dudes), and it makes me sad to be such an invisible member of the queer community.
25. I like talking about sex with people who don't like talking about sex. I love talking about the details of being queer, kinky, and non-committal with people who are in long-term, vanilla, monogamous, hetero relationships. I like talking about masturbating, sex toys, and one-night stands with people who are appalled at any mention of those topics. I get off on the concept of fucking with a vanilla friend and shocking them… though now that I think of it, I’ve never had sex with someone less experienced than I was. Oh except this one time.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
1. I am female, nineteen, and panromantic asexual. I have gone through many identities over the years, though -- heterosexual, homosexual, pansexual, bisexual, pansexual again, and finally and for good... asexual.
2. I sexually blossomed at a very young age. In elementary school, a friend taught me what masturbation was because she had seen her mother do it. We hid in her room that day when I was over and experimented with it -- she didn't see the big deal about it, but I was immediately enamored of the feeling.
3. I became addicted to masturbation in middle school. I would imagine myself in increasingly kinky situations and get myself off several times a day -- I would pull a blanket over me and masturbate under it, looking like I was napping or watching a movie intently to any passerby.
4. My parents divorced when I was in elementary school and my father went through several girlfriends. One of them lived in a trailer and had a daughter a little older than me; we became fast friends and one weekend when I was staying with my dad, we stayed overnight with them. She claimed her mother had allowed her to get breast implants at a young age and wanted to know what normal breasts felt like, so I let her touch mine all she wanted. Looking back on it, she didn't have breast implants.
5. When I discovered porn and erotica online, I was even more fascinated. I would stay up late after night on my old hand-me-down computer to look at porn and masturbate to it. At first, anything sexual would turn me on, but I especially liked drawn porn. I would go on MSN groups and hunt down groups that were just porn comics of old cartoons, my favorites of which were any with The Flintstones or The Jetsons, especially since The Jetsons usually had the father screwing his daughter.
6. After drawn porn, I got in to real porn. The rougher the porn, the better. I wanted my women beaten and face-fucked. Raped. I couldn't get off to "normal" porn.
7. I was on GaiaOnline in the early days, when the "Personals" still existed, and I would often roleplay/have cyber-sex with Gaia members. I liked to coerce guys in to roleplaying incest with me. I still remember one with a guy, I was the little sister and he the older brother. It was really nasty, but I had a great time and really got off on it.
8. I know there is nothing wrong with masturbation, but I am ashamed of myself for it. For doing it so young and so often. I'm also ashamed that I've masturbated in my best friend's house. I have masturbated in her living room, guest room and it's bathroom, and her own bedroom and own personal bathroom.
9. When I was in elementary school, I had a stuffed dolphin that was about three feet long. It had a dorsal fin on top of it that was sewn on separate from the body, so it was quite stiff with stuffing. Sometimes, I would climb on so the dorsal fin pressed against me and I would ride the dolphin hard until I came. Now, I feel guilty for using my stuffed animal like that, and even though my little sister wants the toy, I don't want to give her something so dirty (even though I never rode it naked, always with at *least* panties on).
10. I learned a lot of dirty things online. My favorite for a while was bestiality. I actually took some cream cheese and put on my labia to get my cat to lick me down there once. It was fantastic, but I felt so disgusted with myself and still do. But... bestiality between women and animals still gets me off more than most else.
11. Even though thinking about my (admitted nymphomaniac) mother having sex with ANYONE grosses me out to no end, I used to masturbate to the sounds I could hear from her bedroom next to mine when she and my step-father went at it. Just the sounds of people having sex is still hot enough to turn me on.
12. It wasn't until I was fifteen that I realized that I wasn't masturbating the way most people imagined women masturbating. I only ever played with my clit -- and to this day, I've still never put a finger in my vagina. I was terrified of putting anything there until I finally started using tampons when I was seventeen.
13. I have never imagined having sex with a real person. When I used to fantasize, it was always made up people, sometimes beautiful and sometimes ugly. But I can't imagine real people in a sexual light -- hearing sex stories from my friends, I get really disgusted and have a hard time viewing them the same. Especially because when I think of them and the person they did sexual things with, all I can think about is what they did.
14. I find oral sex immensely hot, and even though I'd like to have someone go down on me, I would never do anything sexual with/for anyone else in any way. I just want someone to go down on me and for that to be enough for them. I wouldn't have to pleasure them, have sex with them, or anything.
15. I am a strangely-repulsed asexual. I am repulsed by the idea of real people having sex (porn doesn't count as long as it is actors), but love watching porn and reading erotica. The idea of myself doing anything sexual makes me feel ill, even.
16. I am romantic, however, and want to have a romantic relationship so much (though I'm scared of entering into another serious relationship because my last relationship lasted five years and the girl I was dating cheated on me with three different guys). I think drag queens, even ones that don't "pull it off" and still just look like men dressed up like women, are beautiful. I wish I could date a drag queen with the body build of a man, but the glamour and soul of a woman.
17. Despite being asexual, I am not bothered by the idea of people being sexually attracted to me. I have always enjoyed the positive attentions of others and like to tease and taunt people (especially guys) with my flirtatious personality and feminine figure. People assume I'm a very sexual person by my behavior and are always surprised to find out I'm asexual.
18. I am very serious about my asexuality, because there are so many misconceptions about asexuals. People's clever comments about "so you reproduce by yourself" and such really piss me off. So do people who claim to be asexual because they want to take a break from sex since it complicates their relationship. I'm like, you're not asexual, you're just practicing abstinence!
19. I am still a virgin.
20. Even though the idea of me engaging in sexual acts grosses me out, I would sell my body (and virginity) for an outrageous sum of money. Since I never plan to have sex for pleasure, my virginity doesn't mean much to me (even though I believe in waiting until marriage to have sex). If someone offered me the right amount of money and they were clean, I would have sex if the payment was up-front.
21. I have never seen the genitals of any other person in real life. I have mixed feelings about it. I'm curious, but I'm not sure about anything else.
22. I don't have sexual fantasies anymore. I literally cannot imagine anything any more that actually turns me on. I have to look at/watch and listen to something to get off.
23. I love breasts. If I was in a relationship with a woman who could get off by having her breasts played with, I would do that for her. I would fondle and lick them and everything. I LOVE breasts. Even my own -- I fondle them constantly.
24. I sometimes wish I was someone else, a sexual person, so I could experience sexual pleasure with someone else. If I could inhabit someone else's body for a day, I would go out and fulfill all my sexual fantasies with their body and return to my own with no guilt, knowing my body is still clean and "pure".
25. I wonder if I will be alone the rest of my life. I have little hope that I will find a "love of my life" who is a good match for me and also asexual -- because as strong as my libido sometimes is, it never creates an attraction or need in me for someone else. My head and heart need another person in my life, not my body.
2. I sexually blossomed at a very young age. In elementary school, a friend taught me what masturbation was because she had seen her mother do it. We hid in her room that day when I was over and experimented with it -- she didn't see the big deal about it, but I was immediately enamored of the feeling.
3. I became addicted to masturbation in middle school. I would imagine myself in increasingly kinky situations and get myself off several times a day -- I would pull a blanket over me and masturbate under it, looking like I was napping or watching a movie intently to any passerby.
4. My parents divorced when I was in elementary school and my father went through several girlfriends. One of them lived in a trailer and had a daughter a little older than me; we became fast friends and one weekend when I was staying with my dad, we stayed overnight with them. She claimed her mother had allowed her to get breast implants at a young age and wanted to know what normal breasts felt like, so I let her touch mine all she wanted. Looking back on it, she didn't have breast implants.
5. When I discovered porn and erotica online, I was even more fascinated. I would stay up late after night on my old hand-me-down computer to look at porn and masturbate to it. At first, anything sexual would turn me on, but I especially liked drawn porn. I would go on MSN groups and hunt down groups that were just porn comics of old cartoons, my favorites of which were any with The Flintstones or The Jetsons, especially since The Jetsons usually had the father screwing his daughter.
6. After drawn porn, I got in to real porn. The rougher the porn, the better. I wanted my women beaten and face-fucked. Raped. I couldn't get off to "normal" porn.
7. I was on GaiaOnline in the early days, when the "Personals" still existed, and I would often roleplay/have cyber-sex with Gaia members. I liked to coerce guys in to roleplaying incest with me. I still remember one with a guy, I was the little sister and he the older brother. It was really nasty, but I had a great time and really got off on it.
8. I know there is nothing wrong with masturbation, but I am ashamed of myself for it. For doing it so young and so often. I'm also ashamed that I've masturbated in my best friend's house. I have masturbated in her living room, guest room and it's bathroom, and her own bedroom and own personal bathroom.
9. When I was in elementary school, I had a stuffed dolphin that was about three feet long. It had a dorsal fin on top of it that was sewn on separate from the body, so it was quite stiff with stuffing. Sometimes, I would climb on so the dorsal fin pressed against me and I would ride the dolphin hard until I came. Now, I feel guilty for using my stuffed animal like that, and even though my little sister wants the toy, I don't want to give her something so dirty (even though I never rode it naked, always with at *least* panties on).
10. I learned a lot of dirty things online. My favorite for a while was bestiality. I actually took some cream cheese and put on my labia to get my cat to lick me down there once. It was fantastic, but I felt so disgusted with myself and still do. But... bestiality between women and animals still gets me off more than most else.
11. Even though thinking about my (admitted nymphomaniac) mother having sex with ANYONE grosses me out to no end, I used to masturbate to the sounds I could hear from her bedroom next to mine when she and my step-father went at it. Just the sounds of people having sex is still hot enough to turn me on.
12. It wasn't until I was fifteen that I realized that I wasn't masturbating the way most people imagined women masturbating. I only ever played with my clit -- and to this day, I've still never put a finger in my vagina. I was terrified of putting anything there until I finally started using tampons when I was seventeen.
13. I have never imagined having sex with a real person. When I used to fantasize, it was always made up people, sometimes beautiful and sometimes ugly. But I can't imagine real people in a sexual light -- hearing sex stories from my friends, I get really disgusted and have a hard time viewing them the same. Especially because when I think of them and the person they did sexual things with, all I can think about is what they did.
14. I find oral sex immensely hot, and even though I'd like to have someone go down on me, I would never do anything sexual with/for anyone else in any way. I just want someone to go down on me and for that to be enough for them. I wouldn't have to pleasure them, have sex with them, or anything.
15. I am a strangely-repulsed asexual. I am repulsed by the idea of real people having sex (porn doesn't count as long as it is actors), but love watching porn and reading erotica. The idea of myself doing anything sexual makes me feel ill, even.
16. I am romantic, however, and want to have a romantic relationship so much (though I'm scared of entering into another serious relationship because my last relationship lasted five years and the girl I was dating cheated on me with three different guys). I think drag queens, even ones that don't "pull it off" and still just look like men dressed up like women, are beautiful. I wish I could date a drag queen with the body build of a man, but the glamour and soul of a woman.
17. Despite being asexual, I am not bothered by the idea of people being sexually attracted to me. I have always enjoyed the positive attentions of others and like to tease and taunt people (especially guys) with my flirtatious personality and feminine figure. People assume I'm a very sexual person by my behavior and are always surprised to find out I'm asexual.
18. I am very serious about my asexuality, because there are so many misconceptions about asexuals. People's clever comments about "so you reproduce by yourself" and such really piss me off. So do people who claim to be asexual because they want to take a break from sex since it complicates their relationship. I'm like, you're not asexual, you're just practicing abstinence!
19. I am still a virgin.
20. Even though the idea of me engaging in sexual acts grosses me out, I would sell my body (and virginity) for an outrageous sum of money. Since I never plan to have sex for pleasure, my virginity doesn't mean much to me (even though I believe in waiting until marriage to have sex). If someone offered me the right amount of money and they were clean, I would have sex if the payment was up-front.
21. I have never seen the genitals of any other person in real life. I have mixed feelings about it. I'm curious, but I'm not sure about anything else.
22. I don't have sexual fantasies anymore. I literally cannot imagine anything any more that actually turns me on. I have to look at/watch and listen to something to get off.
23. I love breasts. If I was in a relationship with a woman who could get off by having her breasts played with, I would do that for her. I would fondle and lick them and everything. I LOVE breasts. Even my own -- I fondle them constantly.
24. I sometimes wish I was someone else, a sexual person, so I could experience sexual pleasure with someone else. If I could inhabit someone else's body for a day, I would go out and fulfill all my sexual fantasies with their body and return to my own with no guilt, knowing my body is still clean and "pure".
25. I wonder if I will be alone the rest of my life. I have little hope that I will find a "love of my life" who is a good match for me and also asexual -- because as strong as my libido sometimes is, it never creates an attraction or need in me for someone else. My head and heart need another person in my life, not my body.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
1. I'm female, single, 18 years old and attracted to multiple sexes and genders. However, I am not textbook "pansexual." I'm picky. Some transpeople weird me out.
2. On that note, I actually tend to have issues with the people I know who identify as trans or genderqueer. I used to really not understand these things at all and would yell at potential friends for being confused, while saying that they should just deal with the body they were born with. This is ridiculously hypocritical, because in the years between 6th and 10th grade I regularly dressed as a boy. My hair was shaved, tits strapped down, all I wore were graphic tees and skater shoes with the occasional tie and button down shirt ensemble. Now I dress in androgynous tee-shirts and jeans and I very much look like a girl. I'm very fine with my female body, but my own concept of my 'gender' alludes me. Still, I have problems with other people who question their gender. I like to consider myself open-minded, so I hate this aspect of myself.
3. I lost my virginity when I was 13, to a 12-year-old boy. It was up in a tree house. It was cute and awkward and mostly due to a virginity pact we both made. He eventually pulled out and started jerking himself off because we weren't quite doing it right and he wanted to show me that he could make himself come. He did. I was amazed.
4. This same boy later liked to show me his penis when we hung out, like he'd just take it out and we'd sit around and chat. Sometimes I would touch it, and I liked the way it felt. We were usually outside in the woods and sometimes he'd take it out to pee on a tree and he'd let me watch. I wasn't really ashamed about watching. He would never let me touch it while he was peeing, though.
5. Before that, I'd sort of experimented with 2 of my female cousins when I was maybe 8 years old. We played this game where we would hand touch, then butt touch, then tongue touch, then vagina touch. It was basically a lot of touching. I remember being excited and a little ashamed and really unsure of what we were doing, but I liked it. I wasn't the one who started these games, but I'm the only one of us three that didn't turn out straight.
6. Technically, I've been molested, by the brother of these same two cousins. All three of them lived in a section of the house on weekends with my uncle. One day the boy called me into one of the bedrooms and closed the door, locked it, then pushed me up against a mattress that was up against a wall. He kept rubbing his hips against mine and kept trying to give me wet raspberries (presumably what he thought was French kissing--he was twelve), and every once in a while he would pull his pants an inch down and my underwear an inch down. I squirmed, managed to not get 'kissed' on the lips, and finally got away. It hasn't really traumatized me, I just find it funny. I wonder what would happen if I ever mentioned it to that cousin now.
7. My first experience with video porn was with one of the female cousins mentioned in #5, a few years later after the experimentation. We were going to watch a movie, so we switched the television to video and turned on the VCR. All I remember was seeing a mass of human bodies moving together before we rushed to turn it back off. Ejecting the tape, the title on the label was 'Bury Your Bone In My Butt'. We both giggled. We put it back in the player and decided we weren't going to watch a movie that day.
8. My first REAL experience with porn, however, was found under the sink in a stack of magazines in the bathroom in that sectioned-off part of the house for my cousins. I used to make excuses to go to that bathroom when they weren't home, just so I could look at them. I was amazed and ashamed, and really wasn't clear about what sexuality was about for a while. I had this sort of ritual for years until that bathroom was cleaned out.
9. I haven't had sex in 4 years. Worse than that, I've never been in a real 'relationship' at all. I've never 'been kissed', I was always the kisser. I've had more sex than I can remember, compressed into two years, with both girls and guys. I don't care about any of them, I don't think I ever did. I eventually stopped these stupid sort of hookups because I didn't want my life to be like that. I've performed oral on both girls and guys. I forget what semen tastes like. I've never been eaten out. I was a huge giver in all of these transactions.
10. I really, really want to be eaten out.
11. My first orgasm was entirely accidental. I was young, maybe 11. I passed a pool jet while swimming in my grandparents pool, was shocked at how good it felt, then pressed up against it. It was intense. I'm rather fond of pools.
12. Since then I've orgasmed in my friend's pool, in a community pool at Disney in Orlando Florida, in a public jacuzzi, in a closed community jacuzzi, among others. I'm absolutely not ashamed.
13. I can't get off to just my fingers. I've tried, gotten close, but I get tired before I can really reach orgasm. My first and only 'sex toy' was a broken off Venus razor with a vibrating option to exfoliate skin. Hah, yeah, right. I also use my shower head.
14. I watch porn and masturbate often. It's hard for me to orgasm without watching porn. I mostly watch gay porn, some lesbian porn, and absolutely no straight porn. I don't know why, but it just doesn't cut it for me at all.
15. When I watch porn, I rarely can get off just watching two (or more) people fucking. They need to be doing something else. Specifically, I really get off to rimming and watersports (but not with girls, I don't like watching girls peeing). I've realized this after a long time of denial and trying to avert my interests to other things. I don't know if I'd participate in such things in real life, but I'm not averse to it. I think the watersports thing came from what was mentioned in #4. The rimming, I don't have a clue.
16. Recently I've ordered an actual vibrator off of the internet. I should be getting it in the mail tomorrow. I'm excited beyond reason.
17. I'm really self conscious. I'm a little overweight, I don't like the way my vagina looks, my wardrobe sucks, and I never see anyone hit on me. Ever. That or I'm oblivious. I think I must portray myself as some sort of cool cat who doesn't need sex or something, I have no idea. On the other hand, when I look at myself in my own mirror I think I'm the sexiest thing alive. I've got large, shapely breasts, small pink nipples, an hourglass frame, a good complexion, a pretty face, sexy lips, straight white teeth, and gorgeous dark blue eyes. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way. Does this make me a narcissist?
18. I've participated in group phone sex with up to four other people. Many times. It's pretty awesome, but I still need to watch porn on mute to actually get off.
19. I feel myself capable of a threesome, but I don't think I'd be able to share in an actual relationship.
20. Relating to #15, I really really crave dick. I want to perform oral on a man like nobody's business. I really want to rim somebody (guy or girl). I really want to be pissed on. I really want to suck a dick while the guy is peeing. I really want to rim a guy while he is peeing. I really want to piss my pants while sitting in someone's lap. It would take a lot for me to admit these things to any living person, and when I'm watching porn with these things in them, the moment I orgasm, I lose all interest. Sometimes I feel disgusted.
21. A common fetish among people I know is pain, BDSM and sadomasochism. I'm not sure if I'm into any of these things, so it's awkward for me when my friends gush about it. Maybe I'll find out in my later sex life if I like these things.
22. Most of my really close friends are virgins. Most of them don't masturbate (or don't admit to it). Every one of them is straight. This makes things slightly awkward for me sometimes.
23. I wish I had the confidence to be a truly sexual creature.
24. I'm skeptical about love, and very adamant about my perceptions of it. I believe it exists, but I believe you only fall in true romantic, relationship type love once. Twice if you're lucky. I've never fallen in love. I feel it would be very hard for me to fall into true, real, super-intense love. I don't give myself to people freely at all.
25. I've written all of this as part confession, part method to get a grip and organize what I know about my sexuality. Maybe I'll tell all of this to somebody non-anonymously some day.
2. On that note, I actually tend to have issues with the people I know who identify as trans or genderqueer. I used to really not understand these things at all and would yell at potential friends for being confused, while saying that they should just deal with the body they were born with. This is ridiculously hypocritical, because in the years between 6th and 10th grade I regularly dressed as a boy. My hair was shaved, tits strapped down, all I wore were graphic tees and skater shoes with the occasional tie and button down shirt ensemble. Now I dress in androgynous tee-shirts and jeans and I very much look like a girl. I'm very fine with my female body, but my own concept of my 'gender' alludes me. Still, I have problems with other people who question their gender. I like to consider myself open-minded, so I hate this aspect of myself.
3. I lost my virginity when I was 13, to a 12-year-old boy. It was up in a tree house. It was cute and awkward and mostly due to a virginity pact we both made. He eventually pulled out and started jerking himself off because we weren't quite doing it right and he wanted to show me that he could make himself come. He did. I was amazed.
4. This same boy later liked to show me his penis when we hung out, like he'd just take it out and we'd sit around and chat. Sometimes I would touch it, and I liked the way it felt. We were usually outside in the woods and sometimes he'd take it out to pee on a tree and he'd let me watch. I wasn't really ashamed about watching. He would never let me touch it while he was peeing, though.
5. Before that, I'd sort of experimented with 2 of my female cousins when I was maybe 8 years old. We played this game where we would hand touch, then butt touch, then tongue touch, then vagina touch. It was basically a lot of touching. I remember being excited and a little ashamed and really unsure of what we were doing, but I liked it. I wasn't the one who started these games, but I'm the only one of us three that didn't turn out straight.
6. Technically, I've been molested, by the brother of these same two cousins. All three of them lived in a section of the house on weekends with my uncle. One day the boy called me into one of the bedrooms and closed the door, locked it, then pushed me up against a mattress that was up against a wall. He kept rubbing his hips against mine and kept trying to give me wet raspberries (presumably what he thought was French kissing--he was twelve), and every once in a while he would pull his pants an inch down and my underwear an inch down. I squirmed, managed to not get 'kissed' on the lips, and finally got away. It hasn't really traumatized me, I just find it funny. I wonder what would happen if I ever mentioned it to that cousin now.
7. My first experience with video porn was with one of the female cousins mentioned in #5, a few years later after the experimentation. We were going to watch a movie, so we switched the television to video and turned on the VCR. All I remember was seeing a mass of human bodies moving together before we rushed to turn it back off. Ejecting the tape, the title on the label was 'Bury Your Bone In My Butt'. We both giggled. We put it back in the player and decided we weren't going to watch a movie that day.
8. My first REAL experience with porn, however, was found under the sink in a stack of magazines in the bathroom in that sectioned-off part of the house for my cousins. I used to make excuses to go to that bathroom when they weren't home, just so I could look at them. I was amazed and ashamed, and really wasn't clear about what sexuality was about for a while. I had this sort of ritual for years until that bathroom was cleaned out.
9. I haven't had sex in 4 years. Worse than that, I've never been in a real 'relationship' at all. I've never 'been kissed', I was always the kisser. I've had more sex than I can remember, compressed into two years, with both girls and guys. I don't care about any of them, I don't think I ever did. I eventually stopped these stupid sort of hookups because I didn't want my life to be like that. I've performed oral on both girls and guys. I forget what semen tastes like. I've never been eaten out. I was a huge giver in all of these transactions.
10. I really, really want to be eaten out.
11. My first orgasm was entirely accidental. I was young, maybe 11. I passed a pool jet while swimming in my grandparents pool, was shocked at how good it felt, then pressed up against it. It was intense. I'm rather fond of pools.
12. Since then I've orgasmed in my friend's pool, in a community pool at Disney in Orlando Florida, in a public jacuzzi, in a closed community jacuzzi, among others. I'm absolutely not ashamed.
13. I can't get off to just my fingers. I've tried, gotten close, but I get tired before I can really reach orgasm. My first and only 'sex toy' was a broken off Venus razor with a vibrating option to exfoliate skin. Hah, yeah, right. I also use my shower head.
14. I watch porn and masturbate often. It's hard for me to orgasm without watching porn. I mostly watch gay porn, some lesbian porn, and absolutely no straight porn. I don't know why, but it just doesn't cut it for me at all.
15. When I watch porn, I rarely can get off just watching two (or more) people fucking. They need to be doing something else. Specifically, I really get off to rimming and watersports (but not with girls, I don't like watching girls peeing). I've realized this after a long time of denial and trying to avert my interests to other things. I don't know if I'd participate in such things in real life, but I'm not averse to it. I think the watersports thing came from what was mentioned in #4. The rimming, I don't have a clue.
16. Recently I've ordered an actual vibrator off of the internet. I should be getting it in the mail tomorrow. I'm excited beyond reason.
17. I'm really self conscious. I'm a little overweight, I don't like the way my vagina looks, my wardrobe sucks, and I never see anyone hit on me. Ever. That or I'm oblivious. I think I must portray myself as some sort of cool cat who doesn't need sex or something, I have no idea. On the other hand, when I look at myself in my own mirror I think I'm the sexiest thing alive. I've got large, shapely breasts, small pink nipples, an hourglass frame, a good complexion, a pretty face, sexy lips, straight white teeth, and gorgeous dark blue eyes. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way. Does this make me a narcissist?
18. I've participated in group phone sex with up to four other people. Many times. It's pretty awesome, but I still need to watch porn on mute to actually get off.
19. I feel myself capable of a threesome, but I don't think I'd be able to share in an actual relationship.
20. Relating to #15, I really really crave dick. I want to perform oral on a man like nobody's business. I really want to rim somebody (guy or girl). I really want to be pissed on. I really want to suck a dick while the guy is peeing. I really want to rim a guy while he is peeing. I really want to piss my pants while sitting in someone's lap. It would take a lot for me to admit these things to any living person, and when I'm watching porn with these things in them, the moment I orgasm, I lose all interest. Sometimes I feel disgusted.
21. A common fetish among people I know is pain, BDSM and sadomasochism. I'm not sure if I'm into any of these things, so it's awkward for me when my friends gush about it. Maybe I'll find out in my later sex life if I like these things.
22. Most of my really close friends are virgins. Most of them don't masturbate (or don't admit to it). Every one of them is straight. This makes things slightly awkward for me sometimes.
23. I wish I had the confidence to be a truly sexual creature.
24. I'm skeptical about love, and very adamant about my perceptions of it. I believe it exists, but I believe you only fall in true romantic, relationship type love once. Twice if you're lucky. I've never fallen in love. I feel it would be very hard for me to fall into true, real, super-intense love. I don't give myself to people freely at all.
25. I've written all of this as part confession, part method to get a grip and organize what I know about my sexuality. Maybe I'll tell all of this to somebody non-anonymously some day.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
1. I was first sexually active at a ridiculously young age, like grade-school young. My best friend told me that she and this girl she used to like used to play this game where one was a boy and one was a girl and she wanted to play it with me too. So my first experience was with a girl.
2. I recently found this same girl online, and she is one of the sexiest people I have ever seen. Like crazy sexy. I sent pics of her I took from her MySpace page to a few people and totally acted like a boy and said "I hit that, aren't you jealous?"
3. My next relationship, I was probably 12, and I heavily pressured my boyfriend into fooling around. I thought that the way you made people like you was to have sex with them, and although I didn't want to have sex, I did want him to like me so I jacked him off under the lunch table at school. I still have problems with having sex with people so they will want me.
4. When I was 16, I was dating a 15 year old boy, and when he said he didn't want to lose it till he was 17 I thought it was perfectly reasonable for him to say he would only do it if it was anal. We did it in the dugout of the Little League baseball field beside the high school. We didn't have lube, he dumped a bottle of Aquafina over himself and just did it. At one point he was kind of hanging from this board on the ceiling. It was terrible... he loved it. I had a four-hour bus ride the next day and cried randomly the whole way from the pain.
5. I cheated on him while away at a honors camp. It was a threesome. I really wanted this girl and she and I thought it was cute that this boy there had never even been kissed and how he was so awkward, so we went to his dorm room and started rubbing all over him. We ended up back in my dorm room fooling around with my roommate in the room. I did not have sex with him then, but I did with the girl. I ended up dating the girl for 6 months, then the guy for over a year after she and I broke up. I was his first. I cheated on him too.
6. The summer after graduation I saw that this guy I had a crush on in high school was hitting on my best friend, so I threw myself at him until I ended up dating him. We had really amazing sex... then I left him for a girl.
7. I admitted I was a lesbian and never wanted to have sex with a guy again, but I met one and got married. I think I may still be in love with him, but I left him because I couldn't have sex with him like he wanted, and felt guilty. I am now pretty sure I am pansexual.
8. Since my divorce, my idea of what is sexy has changed so much. I used to like skinny girly girls with long hair. Now I secretly think I would be happiest with a FTM transsexual.
9. I am really attracted to genderqueers, and the more masculine a female is the sexier it is to me. I love vaginas, but I also love masculine appearances. I like dick, but only if it is plastic.
10. I am pretty sure I would be happy being in a polyamorous relationship, but I live in the Bible Belt and never knew how to find others who would be accepting.
11. One of my biggest fantasies is to be on a bed going down on this incredibly sexy long-haired girly girl with my ass in the air and have her boyfriend/husband (that I didn't know about) walk in on us and decide that the best way to punish me is to fuck me really hard doggy-style. I often have to think about this to get off.
12. If I am not 100% happy in a relationship, I have a hard time bringing myself to want to get off. I will still really like getting my partner off, but I just want to go to sleep after that.
13. I used to meet random guys online and hook up with them at my apartment where I left the webcam on while we fooled around. They had all seen me do the same thing with others, so they should have known what was happening.
14. I am really attracted to older women. I am in my early 20s and commonly date women who are almost 40. They usually have kids. I just think the female body is so much more beautiful once it has been changed by pregnancy.
15. I think the sexiest part on a female's body is the lower back... I can't explain it, I just love running my hands over it.
16. My ex used to smack my pussy when we were having sex, and although I hated it at first, it got to where sometimes I can't come without it.
17. I sometimes think that the only reason I was with guys at all was that I like to please people and men are so much more open about whether you are doing it right. I think penises are disgusting, but I liked giving head, even though it left me sore for days due to a previous jaw injury.
18. I read the Craigslist personal ads then go find my vibrator... the tackier and the dirtier the adds the better.
19. Sometimes, even though I am in a committed relationship now, I have a strong desire to go online and find someone to talk dirty with until I get off.
20. Reading the other person's post about the "touch the art" booth got me super turned on, and I wish I could be involved with something like that.
21. I have often wished that I was skinnier, because I think I might really like being a stripper.
22. Since I had my child it is sometimes really painful for me to have sex, and I no longer get wet at all. That is really hard for me, since I used to have to go the the bathroom between classes to clean up the flood in my pants.
23. I just recently learned I could squirt during orgasm. It grosses me out when I do it, but I love when I make my wife do it.
24. I get super turned on at the thought that someone could possibly see me having sex, so I think I might really like to have another couple having sex in the same room with my partner and I.
25. My partner would be furious if she knew I was sending this in... and that makes it even hotter for me.
2. I recently found this same girl online, and she is one of the sexiest people I have ever seen. Like crazy sexy. I sent pics of her I took from her MySpace page to a few people and totally acted like a boy and said "I hit that, aren't you jealous?"
3. My next relationship, I was probably 12, and I heavily pressured my boyfriend into fooling around. I thought that the way you made people like you was to have sex with them, and although I didn't want to have sex, I did want him to like me so I jacked him off under the lunch table at school. I still have problems with having sex with people so they will want me.
4. When I was 16, I was dating a 15 year old boy, and when he said he didn't want to lose it till he was 17 I thought it was perfectly reasonable for him to say he would only do it if it was anal. We did it in the dugout of the Little League baseball field beside the high school. We didn't have lube, he dumped a bottle of Aquafina over himself and just did it. At one point he was kind of hanging from this board on the ceiling. It was terrible... he loved it. I had a four-hour bus ride the next day and cried randomly the whole way from the pain.
5. I cheated on him while away at a honors camp. It was a threesome. I really wanted this girl and she and I thought it was cute that this boy there had never even been kissed and how he was so awkward, so we went to his dorm room and started rubbing all over him. We ended up back in my dorm room fooling around with my roommate in the room. I did not have sex with him then, but I did with the girl. I ended up dating the girl for 6 months, then the guy for over a year after she and I broke up. I was his first. I cheated on him too.
6. The summer after graduation I saw that this guy I had a crush on in high school was hitting on my best friend, so I threw myself at him until I ended up dating him. We had really amazing sex... then I left him for a girl.
7. I admitted I was a lesbian and never wanted to have sex with a guy again, but I met one and got married. I think I may still be in love with him, but I left him because I couldn't have sex with him like he wanted, and felt guilty. I am now pretty sure I am pansexual.
8. Since my divorce, my idea of what is sexy has changed so much. I used to like skinny girly girls with long hair. Now I secretly think I would be happiest with a FTM transsexual.
9. I am really attracted to genderqueers, and the more masculine a female is the sexier it is to me. I love vaginas, but I also love masculine appearances. I like dick, but only if it is plastic.
10. I am pretty sure I would be happy being in a polyamorous relationship, but I live in the Bible Belt and never knew how to find others who would be accepting.
11. One of my biggest fantasies is to be on a bed going down on this incredibly sexy long-haired girly girl with my ass in the air and have her boyfriend/husband (that I didn't know about) walk in on us and decide that the best way to punish me is to fuck me really hard doggy-style. I often have to think about this to get off.
12. If I am not 100% happy in a relationship, I have a hard time bringing myself to want to get off. I will still really like getting my partner off, but I just want to go to sleep after that.
13. I used to meet random guys online and hook up with them at my apartment where I left the webcam on while we fooled around. They had all seen me do the same thing with others, so they should have known what was happening.
14. I am really attracted to older women. I am in my early 20s and commonly date women who are almost 40. They usually have kids. I just think the female body is so much more beautiful once it has been changed by pregnancy.
15. I think the sexiest part on a female's body is the lower back... I can't explain it, I just love running my hands over it.
16. My ex used to smack my pussy when we were having sex, and although I hated it at first, it got to where sometimes I can't come without it.
17. I sometimes think that the only reason I was with guys at all was that I like to please people and men are so much more open about whether you are doing it right. I think penises are disgusting, but I liked giving head, even though it left me sore for days due to a previous jaw injury.
18. I read the Craigslist personal ads then go find my vibrator... the tackier and the dirtier the adds the better.
19. Sometimes, even though I am in a committed relationship now, I have a strong desire to go online and find someone to talk dirty with until I get off.
20. Reading the other person's post about the "touch the art" booth got me super turned on, and I wish I could be involved with something like that.
21. I have often wished that I was skinnier, because I think I might really like being a stripper.
22. Since I had my child it is sometimes really painful for me to have sex, and I no longer get wet at all. That is really hard for me, since I used to have to go the the bathroom between classes to clean up the flood in my pants.
23. I just recently learned I could squirt during orgasm. It grosses me out when I do it, but I love when I make my wife do it.
24. I get super turned on at the thought that someone could possibly see me having sex, so I think I might really like to have another couple having sex in the same room with my partner and I.
25. My partner would be furious if she knew I was sending this in... and that makes it even hotter for me.
Monday, May 24, 2010
1) I have given up on labels. I don't think they matter any more. I'm tired of people trying to fit me into their little categories. I am who I am.
2) I find androgynous people very sexy. Also, fangs are nearly irresistible.
3) I like boys and girls.
4) My first real memory or recollection that I found women beautiful was when I was probably 6. I was watching a movie and there was a woman in a red bikini getting out of a pool. I remember rewinding it and watching it over and over until my mother came in and told me to quit it. Not long after that I did it again: another woman in red, in a bra and panties set and a sexy little robe.
5) When I was growing up I always wanted to sing to the girls, sweep them off their feet and make them swoon. Even now when I sing I always take the male vocal.
6) I used to French-kiss boys behind the trailers in 2nd and 3rd grade at Catholic school.
7) Some would call me a virgin; some not, though. I have been penetrated by a penis, but my cherry wasn't popped. At the time I was almost 12. My boyfriend was about a year and a half older than I, and he was a horny one. I was curious, but I didn't really have any kind of sex drive yet. His was the first penis I had really seen, and it was beautiful. I was fascinated by it and a bit scared by it as well. He wasn't my first kiss, but he was the first one that I felt I could kiss forever, and God was he good at it. We would sneak around his grandma's horse ranch and kiss until he was so hard he could hardly think. After a few months and a lot of coaxing on his part I gave him a blow job. I tried sex 'cause he wanted to but stopped 'cause it hurt too much. We tried anal, and that was fine with me. I wish I had been a bit older so I could have enjoyed it all more. After 5 months we drifted apart.
8) I popped my own cherry a couple years later.
9) Intelligence is a huge turn-on for me. So is any kind of musical talent.
10) When I was 13 I did a lot of cybering with older men. Surprisingly they never suspected that I wasn't a "horny 19-year-old girl from L.A."
11) I was addicted to porn at 14.
12) I denied that I felt any attraction to girls until I was 16, though looking back it should have been obvious.
13) I have some serious penis envy going on.
14) I made a rule for myself at boarding school: nothing below the waist. I wasn't ready for something so intimate, so I spent my high school years wearing the proverbial chastity belt of doom.
15) I had my first girlfriend at boarding school. A week after she arrived, we were roommates. After a few weeks we started flirting. Well, she was flirting; I was "straight girl" teasing with sexy dances and playful touches that I refused to act on. I couldn't admit it to myself that I wasn't "normal." I couldn't like girls; it would break my parents' hearts (after all, they already had one gay daughter).
16) We both developed a crush on the same guy, and after a bit I started to realize that I was jealous of him. I still couldn't admit that I wanted her, but I knew that I didn't want him to have her.
17) She would ask me for kisses and I would refuse, saying kisses were special and that I didn't kiss just anyone. One night the staff found us asleep on the top bunk, and they freaked, assuming that we were being naughty (even though we were fully dressed, shoes and all). They forced me to move out within the week. The funny thing is, if they had just left us alone, I could have deluded myself forever.
18) The last night, I let her kiss me. They kept us separated after that, but it didn't matter to us. We stole moments wherever we could for the next 6 months. On her last night there, she came to my room and we spent hours holding each other and caressing each other's skin. When it was time for her to return to her room, she had a psychotic breakdown and was taken away from me.
19) I didn't get to say goodbye, and we didn't see each other again. They gave me a letter from her after about a week, but all it really did was prove that she was alive. People kept asking where she was. Needless to say, I was a mess for over a month after.
20) My second girl was amazing. I was 17, she was 20. One night she knocked on my door, and in a cute rush of words declared that she liked me, handed me a note, and ran away. It was completely exhilarating.
21) We had a passionate 3 months together before graduation sent us in different directions. We met up for a weekend in N.Y. 6 months later and explored the city and each other. I haven't seen her in four years, but I still love her.
22) I am a jealous lover. I have never cheated. I don't like to share what's mine.
23) I find rugged, well built men with high cheekbones and strong jaws enticing.
24) I love kissing, licking, and sucking women's necks, breasts, sides, and mouths.
25) My last girl was mine for four days, but she was one of the hottest encounters I've ever had. She was the only one that I truly lusted after. It was 10 days before my 18th birthday. She was 15, and seven inches shorter than me. I loved to pin her against the wall with her hands pulled high above her head and press her tightly between myself and the wall and kiss her hard till we pulled back panting.
2) I find androgynous people very sexy. Also, fangs are nearly irresistible.
3) I like boys and girls.
4) My first real memory or recollection that I found women beautiful was when I was probably 6. I was watching a movie and there was a woman in a red bikini getting out of a pool. I remember rewinding it and watching it over and over until my mother came in and told me to quit it. Not long after that I did it again: another woman in red, in a bra and panties set and a sexy little robe.
5) When I was growing up I always wanted to sing to the girls, sweep them off their feet and make them swoon. Even now when I sing I always take the male vocal.
6) I used to French-kiss boys behind the trailers in 2nd and 3rd grade at Catholic school.
7) Some would call me a virgin; some not, though. I have been penetrated by a penis, but my cherry wasn't popped. At the time I was almost 12. My boyfriend was about a year and a half older than I, and he was a horny one. I was curious, but I didn't really have any kind of sex drive yet. His was the first penis I had really seen, and it was beautiful. I was fascinated by it and a bit scared by it as well. He wasn't my first kiss, but he was the first one that I felt I could kiss forever, and God was he good at it. We would sneak around his grandma's horse ranch and kiss until he was so hard he could hardly think. After a few months and a lot of coaxing on his part I gave him a blow job. I tried sex 'cause he wanted to but stopped 'cause it hurt too much. We tried anal, and that was fine with me. I wish I had been a bit older so I could have enjoyed it all more. After 5 months we drifted apart.
8) I popped my own cherry a couple years later.
9) Intelligence is a huge turn-on for me. So is any kind of musical talent.
10) When I was 13 I did a lot of cybering with older men. Surprisingly they never suspected that I wasn't a "horny 19-year-old girl from L.A."
11) I was addicted to porn at 14.
12) I denied that I felt any attraction to girls until I was 16, though looking back it should have been obvious.
13) I have some serious penis envy going on.
14) I made a rule for myself at boarding school: nothing below the waist. I wasn't ready for something so intimate, so I spent my high school years wearing the proverbial chastity belt of doom.
15) I had my first girlfriend at boarding school. A week after she arrived, we were roommates. After a few weeks we started flirting. Well, she was flirting; I was "straight girl" teasing with sexy dances and playful touches that I refused to act on. I couldn't admit it to myself that I wasn't "normal." I couldn't like girls; it would break my parents' hearts (after all, they already had one gay daughter).
16) We both developed a crush on the same guy, and after a bit I started to realize that I was jealous of him. I still couldn't admit that I wanted her, but I knew that I didn't want him to have her.
17) She would ask me for kisses and I would refuse, saying kisses were special and that I didn't kiss just anyone. One night the staff found us asleep on the top bunk, and they freaked, assuming that we were being naughty (even though we were fully dressed, shoes and all). They forced me to move out within the week. The funny thing is, if they had just left us alone, I could have deluded myself forever.
18) The last night, I let her kiss me. They kept us separated after that, but it didn't matter to us. We stole moments wherever we could for the next 6 months. On her last night there, she came to my room and we spent hours holding each other and caressing each other's skin. When it was time for her to return to her room, she had a psychotic breakdown and was taken away from me.
19) I didn't get to say goodbye, and we didn't see each other again. They gave me a letter from her after about a week, but all it really did was prove that she was alive. People kept asking where she was. Needless to say, I was a mess for over a month after.
20) My second girl was amazing. I was 17, she was 20. One night she knocked on my door, and in a cute rush of words declared that she liked me, handed me a note, and ran away. It was completely exhilarating.
21) We had a passionate 3 months together before graduation sent us in different directions. We met up for a weekend in N.Y. 6 months later and explored the city and each other. I haven't seen her in four years, but I still love her.
22) I am a jealous lover. I have never cheated. I don't like to share what's mine.
23) I find rugged, well built men with high cheekbones and strong jaws enticing.
24) I love kissing, licking, and sucking women's necks, breasts, sides, and mouths.
25) My last girl was mine for four days, but she was one of the hottest encounters I've ever had. She was the only one that I truly lusted after. It was 10 days before my 18th birthday. She was 15, and seven inches shorter than me. I loved to pin her against the wall with her hands pulled high above her head and press her tightly between myself and the wall and kiss her hard till we pulled back panting.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
1. I lost my virginity at 17 to my 25-year-old dance instructor. I had been flirting and lusting after him for two years. We did it in the park on his jacket.
2. I became pregnant my very first time having sex.
3. As a child I loved to masturbate--it was an every night thing. I guess I did it so much then, I don't really have the urge to do it now.
4. I never tell my lovers how I really dislike to have my breasts sucked or played with. Being a larger-breasted woman, people think I love it. They have so much fun playing with them, I don't have the heart to tell them I'm not interested.
5. I love to bend guys over and lick their ass. Then if I can get them comfortable enough I really enjoy fingering them. That's my ultimate fetish. I really don't get to partake in that activity much. I got back together with my ex-boyfriend twice because he lets me do this to him.
6. My back is one of my really sensitive erogenous zones. I've had many discreet orgasms at the spa.
7. I work at an elementary school. Since I've worked there I've had sex in my classroom four times during my lunch. It was awesome.
8. I once let a guy put a belt around my neck and do me from the back. He pulled on the belt so hard not only did I pass out, my trachea was cracked. As much as I desire this type of sex, I don't engage in it any longer.
9. I really don't like to kiss. Kissing to me is not pleasing and the swap of saliva I find to be disgusting.
10. Gay porn is the best porn. I've had some of the best sexual experiences watching gay porn. Only man-on-man; lesbian porn is very repetitive and uneventful.
11. I had a girlfriend for five years. We lived together for about four years. She was my very first grown-up relationship. The sex and intimacy we shared was unbelievable.
12. I've been with five women in life. I guess you can say I'm bi, but I don't identify with that. I like to think of myself as more of a free spirit. I love men but I desire women.
13. I have always seen my ultimate settled life as having a husband, kids, and no pets--with the occasional threesome hookup with my sexy next-door neighbor. I've been dreaming of this since I was a little girl.
14. I grew up sexually fast as a kid, looking at porn mags and videos from age 6 up. I used to steal porn mags from my cousin's house. He would keep them in the bathroom, and before I would leave I would shove them down my pants and run out the door. Good times.
15. I had one suitor that let me bite down hard on his penis. Ever since then I've been drawn to biting penises. I crave it like a lollipop. It sucks to have to ask first--that takes all the fun out of the surprising first bite.
16. I don't feel comfortable hugging people that aren't my lovers. This includes friends and family. I feel it's an invasion of my personal space. I've always wondered if it's because I really didn't get a lot of hugs from my parents as a child.
17. I usually keep my eyes closed during sex. Watching the sex faces of others creeps me out. I guess it's a good thing I can't see my own sex face. I had a lover that would keep a straight face during sex. That bothered me also. So I guess I don't know which I prefer.
18. My family took in a lot of foster children when I was younger. When I was about 11 or so one of the older boys in our home pinned me down and attempted to rape me in the back room of our house. I kneed him in the crotch and ran off. I never told anyone and he never tried it again.
19. I was invited to the prom by a slightly non-popular, overweight guy (I was a junior). I thought it would be cool to do him in front of his friends in the back of our limo. They loved the show, and he was a popular guy in his last few weeks of school.
20. I enjoy golden showers, but only while bathing. There's something about the warmness that turns me on.
21. I used to shave my nether regions bald until I got an inflamed hair follicle that grew to be bigger than two quarters. It was soooooooooooooo painful. I had to go to the doctor, and they cut it open. It was a horrible experience. I haven't shaved her clean since. Nowadays, I just trim.
22. Sunbathing in the nude is my favorite pastime in the summer. The bummer is trying to find a secluded place to do it.
23. I often wonder what it would be like to have sex with random people. I wonder what their mannerisms are in bed. I sometimes tend to stare at them and guess what color panties they have on. In my head I conjure up this whole story about these people. Then I ask them basic questions that may give me insight on what I really want to know. Hey, it keeps me from getting bored at work.
24. I like to have sex on rough carpet. Rug burn on my butt is a huge turn-on. I'll take rough carpet over a squeaky bed any day.
25. I have had sex many, many times.... but I think I've only made love 2 or 3 times. Love is so hard to come by.
2. I became pregnant my very first time having sex.
3. As a child I loved to masturbate--it was an every night thing. I guess I did it so much then, I don't really have the urge to do it now.
4. I never tell my lovers how I really dislike to have my breasts sucked or played with. Being a larger-breasted woman, people think I love it. They have so much fun playing with them, I don't have the heart to tell them I'm not interested.
5. I love to bend guys over and lick their ass. Then if I can get them comfortable enough I really enjoy fingering them. That's my ultimate fetish. I really don't get to partake in that activity much. I got back together with my ex-boyfriend twice because he lets me do this to him.
6. My back is one of my really sensitive erogenous zones. I've had many discreet orgasms at the spa.
7. I work at an elementary school. Since I've worked there I've had sex in my classroom four times during my lunch. It was awesome.
8. I once let a guy put a belt around my neck and do me from the back. He pulled on the belt so hard not only did I pass out, my trachea was cracked. As much as I desire this type of sex, I don't engage in it any longer.
9. I really don't like to kiss. Kissing to me is not pleasing and the swap of saliva I find to be disgusting.
10. Gay porn is the best porn. I've had some of the best sexual experiences watching gay porn. Only man-on-man; lesbian porn is very repetitive and uneventful.
11. I had a girlfriend for five years. We lived together for about four years. She was my very first grown-up relationship. The sex and intimacy we shared was unbelievable.
12. I've been with five women in life. I guess you can say I'm bi, but I don't identify with that. I like to think of myself as more of a free spirit. I love men but I desire women.
13. I have always seen my ultimate settled life as having a husband, kids, and no pets--with the occasional threesome hookup with my sexy next-door neighbor. I've been dreaming of this since I was a little girl.
14. I grew up sexually fast as a kid, looking at porn mags and videos from age 6 up. I used to steal porn mags from my cousin's house. He would keep them in the bathroom, and before I would leave I would shove them down my pants and run out the door. Good times.
15. I had one suitor that let me bite down hard on his penis. Ever since then I've been drawn to biting penises. I crave it like a lollipop. It sucks to have to ask first--that takes all the fun out of the surprising first bite.
16. I don't feel comfortable hugging people that aren't my lovers. This includes friends and family. I feel it's an invasion of my personal space. I've always wondered if it's because I really didn't get a lot of hugs from my parents as a child.
17. I usually keep my eyes closed during sex. Watching the sex faces of others creeps me out. I guess it's a good thing I can't see my own sex face. I had a lover that would keep a straight face during sex. That bothered me also. So I guess I don't know which I prefer.
18. My family took in a lot of foster children when I was younger. When I was about 11 or so one of the older boys in our home pinned me down and attempted to rape me in the back room of our house. I kneed him in the crotch and ran off. I never told anyone and he never tried it again.
19. I was invited to the prom by a slightly non-popular, overweight guy (I was a junior). I thought it would be cool to do him in front of his friends in the back of our limo. They loved the show, and he was a popular guy in his last few weeks of school.
20. I enjoy golden showers, but only while bathing. There's something about the warmness that turns me on.
21. I used to shave my nether regions bald until I got an inflamed hair follicle that grew to be bigger than two quarters. It was soooooooooooooo painful. I had to go to the doctor, and they cut it open. It was a horrible experience. I haven't shaved her clean since. Nowadays, I just trim.
22. Sunbathing in the nude is my favorite pastime in the summer. The bummer is trying to find a secluded place to do it.
23. I often wonder what it would be like to have sex with random people. I wonder what their mannerisms are in bed. I sometimes tend to stare at them and guess what color panties they have on. In my head I conjure up this whole story about these people. Then I ask them basic questions that may give me insight on what I really want to know. Hey, it keeps me from getting bored at work.
24. I like to have sex on rough carpet. Rug burn on my butt is a huge turn-on. I'll take rough carpet over a squeaky bed any day.
25. I have had sex many, many times.... but I think I've only made love 2 or 3 times. Love is so hard to come by.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
1. When I was 18, about a week before I turned 19, my ex-boyfriend raped me and insulted my body while it happened. He threw me out of his house, where I was living, the next day--on Christmas. I was homeless, hated myself, ashamed to be around the few friends I still had after the breakup, and across the country from my family. He was my first boyfriend; we had talked about getting married, and he was so thoroughly integrated into my life I didn't know who I was anymore. There was a moment one day where he asked what my favorite music was, and I couldn't remember. He yelled at me, hit me when I tried to touch him, and there were one or two moments where I thought he was going to kill me. I tried to kill myself afterward, but my family still don't know the real reason why it happened. I hope they never find out. Not just out of shame, but also because I feel like my family couldn't handle it and I selfishly don't want to have to face their emotions. I don't even like how my friends' perceptions of me have changed after I told them, so what's the point? I can't do anything about it. I just have to live with it. Only maybe four people in my whole life know about this. Only one, the guy I am currently dating, knows the whole story with details. I am actually shaking as I type this and hope I don't have a panic attack.
2. I was in denial for 4 years about what had happened and how much it had affected my entire sex life. If I could have it instantly out of my life, I would.
3. I still believe that a lot of who I am sexually does not have anything to do with it.
4. I get ashamed at thinking that I am affected by it at all, because so many people have had it worse. I feel like I should be stronger than I am. I feel like I would somehow be a liar or a leech if I make it into some boo-hoo story. It's hard to get around it, though, because if I have a panic attack or avoid hooking up with someone, my friends want to know why.
5. I have only been sexually intimate with two people in my life, at 23 years old. I have very briefly dated and kissed a few women and a guy in the four years between partners, but I was not intimate with them. My friends and the people I attract tend to be sexually promiscuous, so I hide this to a fairly extreme degree. Sometimes I feel ashamed of it. Sometimes I feel proud of it.
6. Although I have only been intimate with two men, I consider my sexuality very fluid. Since the age of 14 I've been pretty "out" that I am attracted to girls just as much as boys. I've always felt that way, and I remember vivid moments of panic when I learned to masturbate and realized that I was fantasizing that I was a guy and focusing on the girl. I have gone through several "shifts" in what bodies I find myself attracted to most, but overall I'm pretty split between men and women. I identify publicly as bisexual (because people understand that more, despite the annoying preconceptions), but it's more accurate to say that I'm pansexual. When it comes to sex, it's all parts and pleasure. The mind behind it is what makes the difference.
7. I love porn. All kinds of porn. I've loved it since I was around 15. I once wondered if I had a porn addiction for a while, but felt fairly proud of it because watching porn goes against so many people's expectations. I've slowed down in my porn consumption, but I still love it. I wonder a little if maybe my porn habit is what makes monogamy and abstinence so easy for me, since my energy is directed toward that, but I don't dwell on it a lot. I truly, honestly find nothing wrong with it. I like having something extra available to me when I need inspiration, so it works.
8. I am especially fond of gay porn and anything that involves gender play and a power dynamic. I recently really got into straight porn for the first time, but usually I find it a little boring.
9. I consider myself to be extremely romantic in my private life, although I hide it in my public life. This cynical science-loving gal likes to believe in true love and the power and pervasiveness of love. For a long time I felt like I didn't deserve it, but I want to get married to someone I truly love more than anyone else. I feel like modern culture does not focus enough on the importance and necessity of love. I recommend the work of anthropologist Helen Fisher. It opened my eyes to the idea that science doesn't contradict the existence of love.
10. I don't separate romantic love and sex in my life. I am just not emotionally built that way. If I want to fulfill a biological need and relieve frustration, I'll watch some porn and not risk the drama. I know that other people would like to just have sex with me, so I don't need the confirmation of casual sex for my self-esteem. For me, the real thing deserves to be sex with feeling. My nightmare is someone who just wants to have sex with my body and not care about my intellect or have any attachment to me.
11. I don't think I could ever date or have a relationship with a straight man again. The guy I've been involved with recently is bisexual, and I feel like a bisexual man is my ideal partner now. Actually, I feel like I am "My partner!"-sexual right now, because he is all I think about when I masturbate (in various versions and scenarios) since we started dating a year ago.
12. I feel far more comfortable with BDSM than with vanilla sex.
13. I love to be tied down and have things done to me. I feel like it should be surprising considering #1, but a lot of the hurt with my ex had to do with being out of control and not feeling wanted. Being a power bottom and having that safe word to stop my partner at any time makes me feel so sexy, wanted, and empowered.
14. I hide my darker impulses. Some of the porn I watch is very hardcore BDSM and involves blood, submission, etc. I like to push myself and see what darker and harder things turn me on. I wouldn't trust a partner that much right now, but I would like to experience some hardcore acts with someone I love.
15. It's hard to describe the emotional security and intimacy BDSM brings to me and why it appeals to me so much.
16. I adore strap-ons, toys, leather, costumes, and all sorts of fun things.
17. Androgyny turns me on. Femme guys and butch girls are hot. There is nothing hotter than someone who can be both feminine and masculine, and is very confident in themselves while they play with their gender roles.
18. While I like that people are attracted to me (of course) and find nothing necessarily morally wrong with open relationships and polygamy (when practiced with respect), I have an extreme aversion to multiple people trying to have sex with me. I don't know how to describe it, but the idea of many people knowing what I look like naked or feel like in orgasm makes me panic and want to scream. I wasn't always like this, but I intensely like the control over who gets to see my body and know me sexually. This might be what predisposes me toward monogamy. I've tried to break out of my shell a bit, but when I did it only confirmed that I have almost a fetishistic desire to only have one partner and not have several partners over my lifetime.
19. Contradicting that, I have had fantasies of threesomes and voyeurism before. The thing is, in these fantasies it's been very emotionally secure, such as marriage to two people or the (I can't believe I'm admitting this) slash fiction sci-fi idea of a person being split or cloned in some way. In real life, dating two people at the same time is exhausting and not as fulfilling as focusing on that one special person to me. I am voyeuristic, but I think I'd giggle and laugh if I was watching people have sex in person. And I would panic and feel unsafe while having sex with other people in the room. Thus, it's just a fantasy. I want to stick with toys and one person who is my everything.
20. Many times I have wondered if something was wrong with me because I don't have a desire for many partners and I am not sexually attracted to many people. I don't want to be in love with/have sex with several different people over my life. I am attracted to many kinds of different, interesting people, but in general I feel like my "I'd actually fuck that person if they gave me the chance" or "I wonder why they're like in bed" quotient is much lower than most. I'm "I'll fuck that person if they take me out on several dates, love me for who I am, they like the same kinks, and I fall in love with them. And then only if I think that it's real, deep love and they could be that one person I needed to find."
21. I feel guilty and sad about the people I may have hurt or rejected because I am so different and not open to sex without love first.
22. I hide how easy it is for me to commit to one partner and not cheat because it upsets some of my close friends who don't find it easy at all.
23. My partner told me how much he loved how my body was shaped and how it filled his fantasies. It was so genuine and unprompted that it entirely contradicted the insults my ex said to me about how my body felt during sex. My partner didn't even know about the verbal abuse. I didn't let myself realize before how much my ex affected my perception of my body during sex, and how much he lied. It was a revelation for me. I wish I knew how to express my immense gratitude to my partner without freaking him out. He has no idea how much it has changed my point of view.
24. After a four-year drought through college, I thought I would never find someone to fall in love with and who would sexually fulfill me. I had very little hope for myself. I am so very in love right now that it's intoxicating. I am afraid of it not working out, but I love him. I've never felt romantic love so deeply and profoundly before.
25. I've used the word "hide" a few times in this. I hide my love life. I wish I felt safe enough to share it openly. I love being me, but I don't like being judged or having others feel like I am judging them.
2. I was in denial for 4 years about what had happened and how much it had affected my entire sex life. If I could have it instantly out of my life, I would.
3. I still believe that a lot of who I am sexually does not have anything to do with it.
4. I get ashamed at thinking that I am affected by it at all, because so many people have had it worse. I feel like I should be stronger than I am. I feel like I would somehow be a liar or a leech if I make it into some boo-hoo story. It's hard to get around it, though, because if I have a panic attack or avoid hooking up with someone, my friends want to know why.
5. I have only been sexually intimate with two people in my life, at 23 years old. I have very briefly dated and kissed a few women and a guy in the four years between partners, but I was not intimate with them. My friends and the people I attract tend to be sexually promiscuous, so I hide this to a fairly extreme degree. Sometimes I feel ashamed of it. Sometimes I feel proud of it.
6. Although I have only been intimate with two men, I consider my sexuality very fluid. Since the age of 14 I've been pretty "out" that I am attracted to girls just as much as boys. I've always felt that way, and I remember vivid moments of panic when I learned to masturbate and realized that I was fantasizing that I was a guy and focusing on the girl. I have gone through several "shifts" in what bodies I find myself attracted to most, but overall I'm pretty split between men and women. I identify publicly as bisexual (because people understand that more, despite the annoying preconceptions), but it's more accurate to say that I'm pansexual. When it comes to sex, it's all parts and pleasure. The mind behind it is what makes the difference.
7. I love porn. All kinds of porn. I've loved it since I was around 15. I once wondered if I had a porn addiction for a while, but felt fairly proud of it because watching porn goes against so many people's expectations. I've slowed down in my porn consumption, but I still love it. I wonder a little if maybe my porn habit is what makes monogamy and abstinence so easy for me, since my energy is directed toward that, but I don't dwell on it a lot. I truly, honestly find nothing wrong with it. I like having something extra available to me when I need inspiration, so it works.
8. I am especially fond of gay porn and anything that involves gender play and a power dynamic. I recently really got into straight porn for the first time, but usually I find it a little boring.
9. I consider myself to be extremely romantic in my private life, although I hide it in my public life. This cynical science-loving gal likes to believe in true love and the power and pervasiveness of love. For a long time I felt like I didn't deserve it, but I want to get married to someone I truly love more than anyone else. I feel like modern culture does not focus enough on the importance and necessity of love. I recommend the work of anthropologist Helen Fisher. It opened my eyes to the idea that science doesn't contradict the existence of love.
10. I don't separate romantic love and sex in my life. I am just not emotionally built that way. If I want to fulfill a biological need and relieve frustration, I'll watch some porn and not risk the drama. I know that other people would like to just have sex with me, so I don't need the confirmation of casual sex for my self-esteem. For me, the real thing deserves to be sex with feeling. My nightmare is someone who just wants to have sex with my body and not care about my intellect or have any attachment to me.
11. I don't think I could ever date or have a relationship with a straight man again. The guy I've been involved with recently is bisexual, and I feel like a bisexual man is my ideal partner now. Actually, I feel like I am "My partner!"-sexual right now, because he is all I think about when I masturbate (in various versions and scenarios) since we started dating a year ago.
12. I feel far more comfortable with BDSM than with vanilla sex.
13. I love to be tied down and have things done to me. I feel like it should be surprising considering #1, but a lot of the hurt with my ex had to do with being out of control and not feeling wanted. Being a power bottom and having that safe word to stop my partner at any time makes me feel so sexy, wanted, and empowered.
14. I hide my darker impulses. Some of the porn I watch is very hardcore BDSM and involves blood, submission, etc. I like to push myself and see what darker and harder things turn me on. I wouldn't trust a partner that much right now, but I would like to experience some hardcore acts with someone I love.
15. It's hard to describe the emotional security and intimacy BDSM brings to me and why it appeals to me so much.
16. I adore strap-ons, toys, leather, costumes, and all sorts of fun things.
17. Androgyny turns me on. Femme guys and butch girls are hot. There is nothing hotter than someone who can be both feminine and masculine, and is very confident in themselves while they play with their gender roles.
18. While I like that people are attracted to me (of course) and find nothing necessarily morally wrong with open relationships and polygamy (when practiced with respect), I have an extreme aversion to multiple people trying to have sex with me. I don't know how to describe it, but the idea of many people knowing what I look like naked or feel like in orgasm makes me panic and want to scream. I wasn't always like this, but I intensely like the control over who gets to see my body and know me sexually. This might be what predisposes me toward monogamy. I've tried to break out of my shell a bit, but when I did it only confirmed that I have almost a fetishistic desire to only have one partner and not have several partners over my lifetime.
19. Contradicting that, I have had fantasies of threesomes and voyeurism before. The thing is, in these fantasies it's been very emotionally secure, such as marriage to two people or the (I can't believe I'm admitting this) slash fiction sci-fi idea of a person being split or cloned in some way. In real life, dating two people at the same time is exhausting and not as fulfilling as focusing on that one special person to me. I am voyeuristic, but I think I'd giggle and laugh if I was watching people have sex in person. And I would panic and feel unsafe while having sex with other people in the room. Thus, it's just a fantasy. I want to stick with toys and one person who is my everything.
20. Many times I have wondered if something was wrong with me because I don't have a desire for many partners and I am not sexually attracted to many people. I don't want to be in love with/have sex with several different people over my life. I am attracted to many kinds of different, interesting people, but in general I feel like my "I'd actually fuck that person if they gave me the chance" or "I wonder why they're like in bed" quotient is much lower than most. I'm "I'll fuck that person if they take me out on several dates, love me for who I am, they like the same kinks, and I fall in love with them. And then only if I think that it's real, deep love and they could be that one person I needed to find."
21. I feel guilty and sad about the people I may have hurt or rejected because I am so different and not open to sex without love first.
22. I hide how easy it is for me to commit to one partner and not cheat because it upsets some of my close friends who don't find it easy at all.
23. My partner told me how much he loved how my body was shaped and how it filled his fantasies. It was so genuine and unprompted that it entirely contradicted the insults my ex said to me about how my body felt during sex. My partner didn't even know about the verbal abuse. I didn't let myself realize before how much my ex affected my perception of my body during sex, and how much he lied. It was a revelation for me. I wish I knew how to express my immense gratitude to my partner without freaking him out. He has no idea how much it has changed my point of view.
24. After a four-year drought through college, I thought I would never find someone to fall in love with and who would sexually fulfill me. I had very little hope for myself. I am so very in love right now that it's intoxicating. I am afraid of it not working out, but I love him. I've never felt romantic love so deeply and profoundly before.
25. I've used the word "hide" a few times in this. I hide my love life. I wish I felt safe enough to share it openly. I love being me, but I don't like being judged or having others feel like I am judging them.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
1. I have always been fascinated with sex and the male physique. I started "borrowing" my dad's porn mags when I was about 11.
2. I peer-pressured my first boyfriend hard to have sex when I was 14. He wouldn't go for it. We did do pretty much everything else including dry-humping to orgasm. I actually miss that sort of fun.
3. I consider myself very very good at giving head. Lots of practice!
4. I often say that I have no sexual morals. If it's fun and feels good for everyone involved, I say go for it! I don't know where this attitude comes from.
5. I finally lost my virginity when I was 17. I pressured that guy into it as well. I was not the sweet innocent teen girl that everyone thinks I was. The experience was fantastic - outside on a picnic blanket. No orgasm.
6. My "second" virginity loss was when I first orgasmed during penetration. I'd mastered masturbation (snrk) at 12, but this was MUCH different. Much better. I became obsessed with having sex as often as I could. My boyfriend at the time reaped the benefits.
7. I became pregnant at 17 due to a broken condom. I lost the baby at 10 weeks after a major asthma attack. I had planned an abortion.
8. I went on the pill and became even more rapacious. I was constantly pushing the boundaries of acceptable norms... I would encourage my boyfriend to have sex anywhere and everywhere - including outside at family parks during the day, in the movie theatre, in the car, on his parents' couch while they were two rooms away.
9. When we split up in university we pursued two years of amicable "just sex" friendship. Every Thursday he would come over, we'd have sex, go out for dinner, have sex, go to a movie, have sex, and he'd go home. It was an excellent arrangement.
10. During this time I started more risky behaviour. I enjoyed picking up boys in the bar for oral sex (only once did I go "all the way" with one of these boys). I thoroughly enjoy sucking off a man. I have no idea how many partners I had during this time.
11. My husband was a classmate and, like me, looks and acts like a completely "normal" person - no one would suspect his sexual desires. He is a freak! In the best way possible.
12. When I first started dating my husband I was incredibly frustrated. He does not have a high sex drive and seemed very boring - only at night, only in the bedroom, few positions, not creative. I thought it would be the end of us. He can go months without and I hadn't gone a week without for 6 years.
13. It was only when he let me in on his secrets that I realized how incredibly suited we were for each other. It started with him expressing a fascination for threesomes, and watching me with another man. Early on we started inviting boys over for fun and it was fantastic! I got laid, he got off, and we all had fun.
14. My husband is also a closeted (from himself) bisexual. He loves ass play and he loves if I fuck him with a strap-on. He fantasizes about being with men, and I encourage it. I would love to see him with a big, muscley man.
15. Things got more interesting from there. Just last year I started "going out" and leaving him at home. Meeting up with random strangers to fuck like bunnies and then come home to him. I had never seen him hotter. He especially loves when I am with someone HUGE, as he is small and likes to feel it all stretched out.
16. I feel like when he fucks me after I've been "out," he is actually fucking the other man. It's fantastic!
17. I had sex with another man the day we conceived my son. Although it was with a condom and my husband without, I am really really glad the kid looks so much like him.
18. Paradoxically, although we had a rich sex life, he is completely unattracted to me since I've gained weight. I feel ashamed to be naked around him.
19. Since conceiving my son, I haven't had sex at all. Not once. In 15 months. All of the energy that I used to pour into masturbating, getting it, wanting it, having it, is now directed at loving and caring for the baby. I hope my sex drive comes back, but I'm not in a rush.
20. Shortly after our kid was born, my husband "made friends" with a female stripper and started seeing her without my knowledge. It was nearly the end of our marriage. I have no issues with an open relationship (obviously) and could not figure out why I was so upset. After much reflection on the issue, I have come to the conclusion that I have no morals attached to sex, but plenty of them attached to truth. I would not have objected if he hadn't seen the need to hide it. I am still baffled why he thought I would be upset. Regardless, he broke off the relationship.
21. As a reconciliation gift, and as a token of my appreciation for him putting up with my complete lack of sex drive, I purchased him an hour with a high-end hooker.
22. He currently meets with her twice a month on a lunch break.
23. I am very happy and satisfied, and have never suffered any abuse... had a wonderful nuclear family with no skeletons in the closet, and have no idea why my sexual desires run this way. I suppose it's "weird" to most people but I just can't drum up any shame about it.
24. Because I (a very normal, white-bread, ordinary person outside the bedroom) am like this behind closed doors, I can't help but imagine what others do as well. I think there are more people like me, or who want to be like me, than most people think. This is my biggest turn-on.
25. This website has made me want to masturbate again.
2. I peer-pressured my first boyfriend hard to have sex when I was 14. He wouldn't go for it. We did do pretty much everything else including dry-humping to orgasm. I actually miss that sort of fun.
3. I consider myself very very good at giving head. Lots of practice!
4. I often say that I have no sexual morals. If it's fun and feels good for everyone involved, I say go for it! I don't know where this attitude comes from.
5. I finally lost my virginity when I was 17. I pressured that guy into it as well. I was not the sweet innocent teen girl that everyone thinks I was. The experience was fantastic - outside on a picnic blanket. No orgasm.
6. My "second" virginity loss was when I first orgasmed during penetration. I'd mastered masturbation (snrk) at 12, but this was MUCH different. Much better. I became obsessed with having sex as often as I could. My boyfriend at the time reaped the benefits.
7. I became pregnant at 17 due to a broken condom. I lost the baby at 10 weeks after a major asthma attack. I had planned an abortion.
8. I went on the pill and became even more rapacious. I was constantly pushing the boundaries of acceptable norms... I would encourage my boyfriend to have sex anywhere and everywhere - including outside at family parks during the day, in the movie theatre, in the car, on his parents' couch while they were two rooms away.
9. When we split up in university we pursued two years of amicable "just sex" friendship. Every Thursday he would come over, we'd have sex, go out for dinner, have sex, go to a movie, have sex, and he'd go home. It was an excellent arrangement.
10. During this time I started more risky behaviour. I enjoyed picking up boys in the bar for oral sex (only once did I go "all the way" with one of these boys). I thoroughly enjoy sucking off a man. I have no idea how many partners I had during this time.
11. My husband was a classmate and, like me, looks and acts like a completely "normal" person - no one would suspect his sexual desires. He is a freak! In the best way possible.
12. When I first started dating my husband I was incredibly frustrated. He does not have a high sex drive and seemed very boring - only at night, only in the bedroom, few positions, not creative. I thought it would be the end of us. He can go months without and I hadn't gone a week without for 6 years.
13. It was only when he let me in on his secrets that I realized how incredibly suited we were for each other. It started with him expressing a fascination for threesomes, and watching me with another man. Early on we started inviting boys over for fun and it was fantastic! I got laid, he got off, and we all had fun.
14. My husband is also a closeted (from himself) bisexual. He loves ass play and he loves if I fuck him with a strap-on. He fantasizes about being with men, and I encourage it. I would love to see him with a big, muscley man.
15. Things got more interesting from there. Just last year I started "going out" and leaving him at home. Meeting up with random strangers to fuck like bunnies and then come home to him. I had never seen him hotter. He especially loves when I am with someone HUGE, as he is small and likes to feel it all stretched out.
16. I feel like when he fucks me after I've been "out," he is actually fucking the other man. It's fantastic!
17. I had sex with another man the day we conceived my son. Although it was with a condom and my husband without, I am really really glad the kid looks so much like him.
18. Paradoxically, although we had a rich sex life, he is completely unattracted to me since I've gained weight. I feel ashamed to be naked around him.
19. Since conceiving my son, I haven't had sex at all. Not once. In 15 months. All of the energy that I used to pour into masturbating, getting it, wanting it, having it, is now directed at loving and caring for the baby. I hope my sex drive comes back, but I'm not in a rush.
20. Shortly after our kid was born, my husband "made friends" with a female stripper and started seeing her without my knowledge. It was nearly the end of our marriage. I have no issues with an open relationship (obviously) and could not figure out why I was so upset. After much reflection on the issue, I have come to the conclusion that I have no morals attached to sex, but plenty of them attached to truth. I would not have objected if he hadn't seen the need to hide it. I am still baffled why he thought I would be upset. Regardless, he broke off the relationship.
21. As a reconciliation gift, and as a token of my appreciation for him putting up with my complete lack of sex drive, I purchased him an hour with a high-end hooker.
22. He currently meets with her twice a month on a lunch break.
23. I am very happy and satisfied, and have never suffered any abuse... had a wonderful nuclear family with no skeletons in the closet, and have no idea why my sexual desires run this way. I suppose it's "weird" to most people but I just can't drum up any shame about it.
24. Because I (a very normal, white-bread, ordinary person outside the bedroom) am like this behind closed doors, I can't help but imagine what others do as well. I think there are more people like me, or who want to be like me, than most people think. This is my biggest turn-on.
25. This website has made me want to masturbate again.
1. I am a 37 year old heterosexual white American male. I lost my virginity when I was 14 years old, as a freshman in high school, to a neighbor girl who was 17 and lived up the street.
2. I was the first guy among my friends to have sex with a girl. While my first was not the best-looking girl, she was more than willing to have as much sex as much I wanted, which when you are 14 is a lot. I had of course learned about safe sex and was terrified of getting her pregnant, which never happened. To this day I have not had a better blowjob.
3. The first time I masturbated to ejaculation, I was 11 years old. I recall being at the pool and seeing a friend's mother wearing a bikini. She had very large breasts, and when she would lay on the lounge chair I could see the outline of her vagina through her wet white bathing suit. It was some time after seeing her at the pool that I remember playing with myself and thinking of how sexy I thought she was. (This must be where my attraction to MILFs began.)
4. Most guys describe themselves as a tit man, a leg man, an ass man, etc. I, without question, am a pussy man. I love everything about them. It has been to my advantage for sure over the years. I once had a girl tell me that she thought all vaginas looked alike. In my opinion that could not be farther from the truth.
5. I have had sexual intercourse with 31 woman. About half of the woman that I have slept with have been older than myself, with the oldest being 45 when I was 22. She was a woman that I met while working as a lifeguard at the beach. She was married to a man who worked overseas for months at a time, and he was fully aware of what his wife was doing. They had agreed early on to have an open marriage. In the course of three months, I believe that we must have had sex 70+ times. She was by far the most spirited, adventurous lover that I have ever had. She insisted that I wear a condom, and I remember that I would make trips to the pharmacy to buy them and that the clerk would always look at me funny because I was in the store so often buying condoms.
6. I masturbate probably 6-7 times per week. The frequency of this actually increases if I am in a relationship, which I have never understood.
7. While in college I had a friends-with-benefits situation for about 2 years with a girl I met at a the library. She was double majoring, and said she did not have time for a relationship. We would typically meet twice a week very late at night for a couple hours of sex. She was the first girl that I ever fucked in the ass. She was such a little freak, but I loved it. She was totally comfortable with her sexuality, and at various times requested that I find a friend to join us. It was with her that I had my first and second threesome.
8. I had sex three times with an ex-girlfriend's mother who was a ER nurse. She once told me that she had heard her daughter and me having sex in the basement of her home.
9. I have a vague recollection of walking in as a small child and seeing my parents having sex. Which as an adult seems perfectly normal, but still odd.
10. I have made four women squirt. All but one of them had never done this before and were totally freaked out and said, while it "felt great," that they thought they peed. I explained to them that I had found their G-spot, and that it was not pee. To this day I go to extra efforts to try and make this happen with the person I am dating.
11. I can remember going to the neighborhood pool as a young child and trying to convince my friends to try and look at the women in their bathing suits underwater with our goggles on. Most of them at this age had no interest.
12. I look at sex like it's pizza: it is always something that I love, and the variety seems endless.
13. I can honestly say that I have never cheated on a girlfriend, but I have had a couple cheat on me. While I don't believe that #8 knows I screwed her mother, it makes me feel better, since she screwed one of my good friends.
14. I have a fantasy of living on a clothing-optional Caribbean island that is deserted except for eight or ten gorgeous women.
15. I have always heard and read that a guy's sexual peak is somewhere between 18-22 years old. I can honestly say that I am as horny at almost 38 as I have ever been.
16. Most of the time, when I meet a woman for the first time, I try and imagine what she must look like naked. I know: typical male.
17. When I was a senior in high school, I was caught in the shower with my girlfriend by her father, who was a FBI agent and carried a gun. To this day I have flashbacks about that day.
18. Above looks, what attracts me most to women is confidence in themselves and being comfortable with their bodies.
19. I have had sex with a few different ethnic backgrounds over the years. I have never had sex with a black woman, but I find them really sexy.
20. With the new social media, I have been contacted by women that I have dated, and some have suggested that we should meet up again. The thought of that is very inviting.
21. I once had sex in a janitor's closet at an international airport, after a girlfriend who had been away for months arrived back in the country. This was prior to 9/11.
22. I am a bit obsessed about the grooming of my pubic hair.
23. To this day, I have never admitted to anyone that I crashed my dad's car into a parked car in college while getting a blowjob.
24. I wear a suit and tie and work in an office every day, but what people don't know about me is that I am a guy that likes to have harmless fun, and that I have a large Koi tattoo that covers most of the side and back, and another one that covers most of my shoulder and all of my upper arm. In this environment, everyone is way too serious, but hey: it allows me to live the life I want.
25. I once was invited to a orgy by a woman that I was dating. When I showed up, it turned out to be six woman and two guys. Everyone looked really nervous. They were all wearing clothes and drinking alcohol in an attempt to loosen up their inhibitions. After a couple hours of drinking, I ended up just having sex with my girlfriend while everyone watched. What a turn-on.
2. I was the first guy among my friends to have sex with a girl. While my first was not the best-looking girl, she was more than willing to have as much sex as much I wanted, which when you are 14 is a lot. I had of course learned about safe sex and was terrified of getting her pregnant, which never happened. To this day I have not had a better blowjob.
3. The first time I masturbated to ejaculation, I was 11 years old. I recall being at the pool and seeing a friend's mother wearing a bikini. She had very large breasts, and when she would lay on the lounge chair I could see the outline of her vagina through her wet white bathing suit. It was some time after seeing her at the pool that I remember playing with myself and thinking of how sexy I thought she was. (This must be where my attraction to MILFs began.)
4. Most guys describe themselves as a tit man, a leg man, an ass man, etc. I, without question, am a pussy man. I love everything about them. It has been to my advantage for sure over the years. I once had a girl tell me that she thought all vaginas looked alike. In my opinion that could not be farther from the truth.
5. I have had sexual intercourse with 31 woman. About half of the woman that I have slept with have been older than myself, with the oldest being 45 when I was 22. She was a woman that I met while working as a lifeguard at the beach. She was married to a man who worked overseas for months at a time, and he was fully aware of what his wife was doing. They had agreed early on to have an open marriage. In the course of three months, I believe that we must have had sex 70+ times. She was by far the most spirited, adventurous lover that I have ever had. She insisted that I wear a condom, and I remember that I would make trips to the pharmacy to buy them and that the clerk would always look at me funny because I was in the store so often buying condoms.
6. I masturbate probably 6-7 times per week. The frequency of this actually increases if I am in a relationship, which I have never understood.
7. While in college I had a friends-with-benefits situation for about 2 years with a girl I met at a the library. She was double majoring, and said she did not have time for a relationship. We would typically meet twice a week very late at night for a couple hours of sex. She was the first girl that I ever fucked in the ass. She was such a little freak, but I loved it. She was totally comfortable with her sexuality, and at various times requested that I find a friend to join us. It was with her that I had my first and second threesome.
8. I had sex three times with an ex-girlfriend's mother who was a ER nurse. She once told me that she had heard her daughter and me having sex in the basement of her home.
9. I have a vague recollection of walking in as a small child and seeing my parents having sex. Which as an adult seems perfectly normal, but still odd.
10. I have made four women squirt. All but one of them had never done this before and were totally freaked out and said, while it "felt great," that they thought they peed. I explained to them that I had found their G-spot, and that it was not pee. To this day I go to extra efforts to try and make this happen with the person I am dating.
11. I can remember going to the neighborhood pool as a young child and trying to convince my friends to try and look at the women in their bathing suits underwater with our goggles on. Most of them at this age had no interest.
12. I look at sex like it's pizza: it is always something that I love, and the variety seems endless.
13. I can honestly say that I have never cheated on a girlfriend, but I have had a couple cheat on me. While I don't believe that #8 knows I screwed her mother, it makes me feel better, since she screwed one of my good friends.
14. I have a fantasy of living on a clothing-optional Caribbean island that is deserted except for eight or ten gorgeous women.
15. I have always heard and read that a guy's sexual peak is somewhere between 18-22 years old. I can honestly say that I am as horny at almost 38 as I have ever been.
16. Most of the time, when I meet a woman for the first time, I try and imagine what she must look like naked. I know: typical male.
17. When I was a senior in high school, I was caught in the shower with my girlfriend by her father, who was a FBI agent and carried a gun. To this day I have flashbacks about that day.
18. Above looks, what attracts me most to women is confidence in themselves and being comfortable with their bodies.
19. I have had sex with a few different ethnic backgrounds over the years. I have never had sex with a black woman, but I find them really sexy.
20. With the new social media, I have been contacted by women that I have dated, and some have suggested that we should meet up again. The thought of that is very inviting.
21. I once had sex in a janitor's closet at an international airport, after a girlfriend who had been away for months arrived back in the country. This was prior to 9/11.
22. I am a bit obsessed about the grooming of my pubic hair.
23. To this day, I have never admitted to anyone that I crashed my dad's car into a parked car in college while getting a blowjob.
24. I wear a suit and tie and work in an office every day, but what people don't know about me is that I am a guy that likes to have harmless fun, and that I have a large Koi tattoo that covers most of the side and back, and another one that covers most of my shoulder and all of my upper arm. In this environment, everyone is way too serious, but hey: it allows me to live the life I want.
25. I once was invited to a orgy by a woman that I was dating. When I showed up, it turned out to be six woman and two guys. Everyone looked really nervous. They were all wearing clothes and drinking alcohol in an attempt to loosen up their inhibitions. After a couple hours of drinking, I ended up just having sex with my girlfriend while everyone watched. What a turn-on.
Monday, May 17, 2010
1. Talking about sex is incredibly hot to me, but I don't mean in a filthy way. I mean like asking my partner how they want me to pleasure them. One of my current fantasies is to ask a girl I like (but haven't been physical with) to describe how she kisses.
2. I'm a bit of an audio voyeur as well. I've overheard lots of couples having sex – including my former roommate – and found myself getting really turned on. I've never watched someone have sex (other than in porn) so I don't know how that would go. I feel it wouldn't be as interesting as just hearing things.
3. I'm transgender, male-to-female. I haven't yet had surgery, but plan to. I'm also bisexual. I never cease to be amazed at how few people understand how that's possible.
4. I've had sex and masturbated, using my penis. Some people haven't been able to understand that, and I'm not sure I fully do either. I like the sensations I get, particularly during ejaculation. But I also know that piece of me isn't something I want to keep.
5. I think it's the feeling of depth that I like about ejaculation and using my penis. I'm just analyzing this for the first time as I type this, but essentially what I'm saying is that I like the feeling of something extremely pleasureful resonating from deep within and traveling through me. So I guess the idea that I want a vagina isn't so crazy after all.
6. Even though I consider my being transgender a handicap in terms of finding a romantic partner, it's also something of a blessing. Generally, whomever I get involved with is truly interested in me for who I am, not just my body.
7. Not that I mind someone telling me that I have a sexy body. When I had a fuck-buddy for a while, it was reassuring in a way to think that someone could just want to have sex with me. It's the same way I felt when I played the part of the “other man” and when I cheated on a former girlfriend.
8. Now all that being said, I couldn't keep going with my fuck-buddy, nor do I take pride in my involvement in affairs. It may work for some people and that's great, but for me it wasn't healthy. I've been a serial monogamist ever since. And I mean that in a good way, not the insult some people use it as.
9. Before I was a reformed-cheater-turned-monogamist, I was constantly the “better as friends” guy. I'm still often fed that line and fear that my kindness is mistaken for clinginess or dependence. Really, I just want to make people happy. But people tell me I need to play it more aloof; act like I don't care as much as I do.
10. Fuck that. I'm unwilling to change the way I pursue people. I'm not clingy, and I'm not dependent. I'm relatively confident in my ability to tell when I'm coming on too strong and I'd rather get turned down than be something I'm not. I will always strive to be honest with people.
11. I fantasize about my friends. A lot. Often, I'll be listening to someone talking or watching them and I'll start wondering what it would be like to suckle their neck or kiss their bare chest. I constantly find myself curious: What is So-And-So like in bed? What does their o-face look like? What sounds do they cry out, muffled by sweat-soaked pillows?
12. I have a huge crush on one of my friends in particular. I have felt this way for quite awhile, too. She's dating someone (who I'll admit I don't particularly like and think she deserves better than him, but I'm obviously biased) so I have definitely found myself wondering what it would be like to be with her both emotionally and physically. But I'm respectful enough not to make a move, and if she's happy in her relationship, I won't do anything to break it up. Like I said, I don't like the part of me that helped someone else cheat. I don't want to put anyone (including myself) through that again.
13. Going back to the subject of fantasy for a second: Even though I fantasize about friends and people I find attractive often, I never do so while masturbating. I feel guilty, like I have no right to even fictionally place someone in that position. Sometimes, even while not masturbating, I catch myself feeling that way, and guilt sinks in.
14. Even though I'm bi, I like different things about guys and girls. For example, while I love sucking dick and eating pussy about equally and I'm also pretty evenly balanced when it comes to being a top or submissive, I like guys for their ability to be fun and independent outside of physical endeavors. Being in a relationship with a guy can be tons of fun. On the flipside, I like girls for their softness and intimacy in said physical endeavors and ability to connect emotionally. Being in a relationship with a girl can be very comforting and fulfilling.
15. I love hearing and feeling the sharp gasps and sighs when I hit someone's sweet spot and they can't control their reaction. That kind of honesty is beautiful and hot.
16. Music can help set the mood and get me ready for being sexy, but I can't be physical with it still going. Too much background noise. I tried once and just kept humming and even singing along to the tunes I knew.
17. I like sex that gives the impression of spontaneity. Lights on, doors unlocked, places other than the bed, that kind of thing. I think I like the idea that, sometimes, you just need that other person. RIGHT NOW.
18. My favorite “position” isn't really a position so much as an idea. I want someone to push me in desperate lust against a door or wall, yank up my shirt, and slide their hand down the front of my pants to feel me through my jeans. I wouldn't mind switching the roles and doing that to someone else, too.
19. My favorite part on a guy is his stomach and chest. I like it strong and heavy with muscle, but I actually really dislike when he's extremely chiseled or ripped. It doesn't look natural to me.
20. My favorite part on a girl is something that's bound to seem a little creepy. Ahem. So, you know the small of the back? You know how, on girls, there's usually a patch of fine, soft hairs there? For some reason that is incredibly hot to me. I want to kiss and nuzzle that spot more than almost any other.
21. I don't want sex to be just a physical thing. I want it, but I want it to be just one avenue of many through which I can express intimacy to my partner.
22. I really don't want the girls I'm physical with to get rid of all their pubic hair. Natural, clipped, or trimmed is perfect. Bald is creepy, pokey, or dirty and inflamed. Same for guys. It's fucking hair, get over it.
23. I really, really don't want my partners to ignore taking care of their downstairs. For God's sake, there's nothing more of a turn-off than getting to my prize and barely being able to stomach the smell or taste. And that's not just cleanliness, it's diet too. Eating junk food all the time and smoking makes a sweet spot taste terrible. I actually threw up a little once giving a guy head because his semen was so bitter tasting due to his love of alcohol and nicotine.
24. My favorite part of a relationship, both physical and otherwise, is exploring. I want to know my partner's loves, hobbies, erogenous zones, turn-ons, passions, motivations, moans, movements, goals. I don't want to find this all out at once, mind you; I want to discover it over time. A relationship (and sex) should work like that, by continually evolving and growing.
25. I'm just noticing that, despite this being a “25 Things About My Sexuality” list, a lot of my answers somehow involve someone else. And a lot of those answers are specifically about relationships. I actually find that really encouraging.
2. I'm a bit of an audio voyeur as well. I've overheard lots of couples having sex – including my former roommate – and found myself getting really turned on. I've never watched someone have sex (other than in porn) so I don't know how that would go. I feel it wouldn't be as interesting as just hearing things.
3. I'm transgender, male-to-female. I haven't yet had surgery, but plan to. I'm also bisexual. I never cease to be amazed at how few people understand how that's possible.
4. I've had sex and masturbated, using my penis. Some people haven't been able to understand that, and I'm not sure I fully do either. I like the sensations I get, particularly during ejaculation. But I also know that piece of me isn't something I want to keep.
5. I think it's the feeling of depth that I like about ejaculation and using my penis. I'm just analyzing this for the first time as I type this, but essentially what I'm saying is that I like the feeling of something extremely pleasureful resonating from deep within and traveling through me. So I guess the idea that I want a vagina isn't so crazy after all.
6. Even though I consider my being transgender a handicap in terms of finding a romantic partner, it's also something of a blessing. Generally, whomever I get involved with is truly interested in me for who I am, not just my body.
7. Not that I mind someone telling me that I have a sexy body. When I had a fuck-buddy for a while, it was reassuring in a way to think that someone could just want to have sex with me. It's the same way I felt when I played the part of the “other man” and when I cheated on a former girlfriend.
8. Now all that being said, I couldn't keep going with my fuck-buddy, nor do I take pride in my involvement in affairs. It may work for some people and that's great, but for me it wasn't healthy. I've been a serial monogamist ever since. And I mean that in a good way, not the insult some people use it as.
9. Before I was a reformed-cheater-turned-monogamist, I was constantly the “better as friends” guy. I'm still often fed that line and fear that my kindness is mistaken for clinginess or dependence. Really, I just want to make people happy. But people tell me I need to play it more aloof; act like I don't care as much as I do.
10. Fuck that. I'm unwilling to change the way I pursue people. I'm not clingy, and I'm not dependent. I'm relatively confident in my ability to tell when I'm coming on too strong and I'd rather get turned down than be something I'm not. I will always strive to be honest with people.
11. I fantasize about my friends. A lot. Often, I'll be listening to someone talking or watching them and I'll start wondering what it would be like to suckle their neck or kiss their bare chest. I constantly find myself curious: What is So-And-So like in bed? What does their o-face look like? What sounds do they cry out, muffled by sweat-soaked pillows?
12. I have a huge crush on one of my friends in particular. I have felt this way for quite awhile, too. She's dating someone (who I'll admit I don't particularly like and think she deserves better than him, but I'm obviously biased) so I have definitely found myself wondering what it would be like to be with her both emotionally and physically. But I'm respectful enough not to make a move, and if she's happy in her relationship, I won't do anything to break it up. Like I said, I don't like the part of me that helped someone else cheat. I don't want to put anyone (including myself) through that again.
13. Going back to the subject of fantasy for a second: Even though I fantasize about friends and people I find attractive often, I never do so while masturbating. I feel guilty, like I have no right to even fictionally place someone in that position. Sometimes, even while not masturbating, I catch myself feeling that way, and guilt sinks in.
14. Even though I'm bi, I like different things about guys and girls. For example, while I love sucking dick and eating pussy about equally and I'm also pretty evenly balanced when it comes to being a top or submissive, I like guys for their ability to be fun and independent outside of physical endeavors. Being in a relationship with a guy can be tons of fun. On the flipside, I like girls for their softness and intimacy in said physical endeavors and ability to connect emotionally. Being in a relationship with a girl can be very comforting and fulfilling.
15. I love hearing and feeling the sharp gasps and sighs when I hit someone's sweet spot and they can't control their reaction. That kind of honesty is beautiful and hot.
16. Music can help set the mood and get me ready for being sexy, but I can't be physical with it still going. Too much background noise. I tried once and just kept humming and even singing along to the tunes I knew.
17. I like sex that gives the impression of spontaneity. Lights on, doors unlocked, places other than the bed, that kind of thing. I think I like the idea that, sometimes, you just need that other person. RIGHT NOW.
18. My favorite “position” isn't really a position so much as an idea. I want someone to push me in desperate lust against a door or wall, yank up my shirt, and slide their hand down the front of my pants to feel me through my jeans. I wouldn't mind switching the roles and doing that to someone else, too.
19. My favorite part on a guy is his stomach and chest. I like it strong and heavy with muscle, but I actually really dislike when he's extremely chiseled or ripped. It doesn't look natural to me.
20. My favorite part on a girl is something that's bound to seem a little creepy. Ahem. So, you know the small of the back? You know how, on girls, there's usually a patch of fine, soft hairs there? For some reason that is incredibly hot to me. I want to kiss and nuzzle that spot more than almost any other.
21. I don't want sex to be just a physical thing. I want it, but I want it to be just one avenue of many through which I can express intimacy to my partner.
22. I really don't want the girls I'm physical with to get rid of all their pubic hair. Natural, clipped, or trimmed is perfect. Bald is creepy, pokey, or dirty and inflamed. Same for guys. It's fucking hair, get over it.
23. I really, really don't want my partners to ignore taking care of their downstairs. For God's sake, there's nothing more of a turn-off than getting to my prize and barely being able to stomach the smell or taste. And that's not just cleanliness, it's diet too. Eating junk food all the time and smoking makes a sweet spot taste terrible. I actually threw up a little once giving a guy head because his semen was so bitter tasting due to his love of alcohol and nicotine.
24. My favorite part of a relationship, both physical and otherwise, is exploring. I want to know my partner's loves, hobbies, erogenous zones, turn-ons, passions, motivations, moans, movements, goals. I don't want to find this all out at once, mind you; I want to discover it over time. A relationship (and sex) should work like that, by continually evolving and growing.
25. I'm just noticing that, despite this being a “25 Things About My Sexuality” list, a lot of my answers somehow involve someone else. And a lot of those answers are specifically about relationships. I actually find that really encouraging.
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