1. I’m a 38-year-old Scandinavian woman. I identify as heterosexual.
2. I’m scared of sex.
3. I lost my virginity at 30.
4. I’ve only ever had sex with two men.
5. I hate penetration. I have (according to me and my gynecologist) a very small vagina and penetration (even the smallest sized tampons) is painful.
6. I hate how feeling defective because of my vagina has kept me from experimenting sexually, and I hate how the men I’ve been with have made me feel like a problem that needs to be solved.
7. I love receiving oral sex. It makes me feel sexy and loved. If I could find a man who was happy just eating pussy I’d be in heaven.
8. I want to meet a man who thinks of sex as a conversation between two people and not a sport or a show you put on.
9. I wish I was a lesbian. I like women more than I like men, but unfortunately I’m not sexually attracted to women.
10. I fantasize about both women and men.
11. I’m really good at masturbating. I do it 4-8 times a week and I can make myself come again and again and again.
12. I feel really sexy when I menstruate. I masturbate like crazy during my period.
13. I don’t have a type and I don’t believe in types.
14. I like kissing after receiving oral sex. I taste good!
15. I love my breasts. Love, love, love them.
16. I like being naked. I model for an artist and I love seeing my naked body in paint on the gallery wall.
17. The soles of my feet are one of my erogenous zones. Caress them and the sensation goes straight up my legs.
18. Scent is a turn on for me. A good, clean, natural scent. If I had a boyfriend I’m guessing I’d be nuzzling in his armpit a lot.
19. I sometimes daydream about strangers sticking their hands up my skirt in public places like libraries and restaurants. I’m sure I’d hate it in real life but it’s a nice fantasy.
20. I’m super vanilla. I get off on tenderness more than anything else. And I’m a sucker for compliments.
21. I don’t like dirty talk and I don’t like baby talk. I just want someone to tell me I’m lovely.
22. I like to wear 50’s underwear like stockings, garters and heels. They make me feel sexy.
23. I don’t care for pornography (as in videos) but I love erotic still photography.
24. I think men’s bodies are beautiful.
25. I’m hoping this year will be the year I start experimenting with sexuality, and stop worrying about being seen as strange.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
1. I am a 25-year-old male who gets off thinking about men or women. I've slept with 10 girls and got a handjob once from a guy in a bathhouse. It was great! But I bailed immediately afterwards because I lost interest. I've been working abroad off and on for the past few years, which provides pretty good opportunities to travel.
2. My first blowjob was from a girl at summer camp, and it was fantastic. The next one was from my girlfriend who had previously told me she thought it was gross, which made me feel pretty bad for a long time. I still don't really like blowjobs, partially because I like more body contact, partially because they are rarely that good, and partially because I still feel it is demeaning to women (or at least many think so). I love cunnilingus, but I don't feel good when women don't show the same enthusiasm for fellatio.
3. The first time I had sex was with my longtime girlfriend, and it was very intimate and loving. Over the years we tried a lot of different things, but I don't think I could ever really give her the dominance that she wanted. We broke up just from moving to different places, but a year ago we had 2 passionate nights together. I found myself remembering to be more dominant than I normally would be, just because I knew she'd like it.
4. For a long time I have identified myself to people I know as “guy who loves to go after and talk about chicks.” This is sort of contradictory to reality, which is that I usually hate one-night stands because I get so worried about STDs afterwards, and I can only really enjoy sex with someone I am totally relaxed with. I find myself falling in love with women all the time; bank clerks, fellow passengers, girls in movies. But at the end of the day I usually have the best orgasms to gay porn.
5. It's strange to say, but I was looking at lots of amateur men posing nude on the internet for several years before I realized that I could possibly be gay. The moment I realized felt like one of those screen shots in the movies where everything focuses in on one point and the background zooms away. I was in college, and had gone out on a date with a gorgeous girl, but then found we had absolutely no chemistry. That night, sitting in my room, wondering what happened, I put two and two together: I'd been looking at a lot of naked men on the internet, I wasn't hooking up with girls, I might be gay... it was a pretty big funk I got myself into. I tried to talk to my long-distance girlfriend about it, but she treated the issue with fear and doubt. It only cleared up several months later when I was lying with said girlfriend in bed, and after some kissing I felt my penis coming back to life. Only then I realized that the realities of what I actually liked were not what I thought.
6. I've cheated before, and though I wouldn't encourage it, I don't regret it. My first girlfriend and I had been off and on for several years. Our connection was close--first sex, and lots of growing up together. While I studied abroad in college we weren't together, but we talked every day on gchat. About a month before I was going to return I learned that for most of the time we had been talking she had been sleeping with someone else. This was a big deal for us because it was the first person she'd been with after me. I should have had no reason to be angry, of course, because we weren't “together,” though it felt like the greatest betrayal of my life. Our final year of college (at different universities, very far apart) we decided to stay together long distance, and this is when I cheated on her three times (no sex, making out, some playful breast juggling and a blowjob). Strangely (or perhaps horribly), only after I had cheated on her was I able to release that sense of betrayal I still carried. After that, we had a very nice relationship until I moved overseas.
7. While I was overseas, circumstances put me into a relationship with a girl who I didn't feel very compatible with, but she really had no one else and I had no one else from my own culture. I tried to break up with her several times, but she refused. Where she lived she simply had no one, and she needed someone to connect with. This cracked our relationship like an egg on a rock, everything out in the open with almost no limitations. Surprisingly, our connection improved greatly--our sex became fantastic, we were able to talk to each other with total honesty, and we were able to explore a lot about ourselves within the safe space we created. She was the first girl I was able to talk about my interest in other guys to, and she was always encouraging. Once we returned from overseas she started dating women. Though perhaps she and I won't be having sex anytime soon, I'm grateful for the relationship--it was totally unbounded and supportive. Occasionally we do a bit of cybersex, which is still a bit weird.
8. The second person I ever had sex with was a girl from my university, the same age and very beautiful. She was really the initiator: she was the type of person that goes for what they want. Circumstances were such that we were both on campus at the end of the year and not much else was going on, so we fooled around a bit. A week or so later she left and invited me to her parents' lake house, where after some wine she convinced me to have sex (I was still in the “sex is for lovemaking” phase). The condom she produced was unlubricated--“I don't need lubrication”--and after some difficulty we decided not to use one at all (a ruse?). At the end of that summer I got tested and came back with chlamydia. The lake house girl was furious that I would even suggest I had gotten it from her, but she was the only possibility. Years later, a nurse at the university medical center said “Sometimes people lie about those things.”
9. Fortunately, chlamydia is a minor and curable STD, though having it made me really feel dirty and detached from my body. I felt like my penis was a weapon of scourge. I think some of these feelings still linger, which causes problems when I am getting with girls I don't know very well. On the upside, I have worn a condom for sex ever since—7 years without condomless sex. How good it must feel!
10. I find the Internet dangerously alluring when it comes to sex. Several years ago I posted a few faceless pics on a amateur site, and all the commenting and PM'ing became almost addictive. From there, I started posting pics on a gay version of the same site, and got much more attention. It feels very sexy to take pictures of yourself in various sexy and exposed poses. The attention from men is very gratifying, and led to some of my first cybersex chats and photo exchanges.
11. From my forays on the Internet I found myself most attracted to big-bellied, slightly hairy, older men. I wrote a few erotic stories for Literotica and found the process as arousing as the result. I signed up for a site that caters to older men and younger admirers, and sometimes will message back and forth a bit with older men in my area, though I'm not sure if I will ever really go through with it. I'm simply too scared of STDs.
12. About a year ago I posted an ad on Craigslist to see if anyone had had a similar situation to mine. I got a lot of responses, and ended up meeting with a guy to talk about how he had been married and then eventually come out. However, though on paper it had seemed similar, in actuality his story was different from mine. He had been religious and carried some guilt about it, and also never really liked licking vagina. After our coffee he said if I ever wanted to try anything in a safe place I could do so with him. I declined, but I still think about that when I masturbate sometimes. He also sent me an email a week later inviting me to dinner, but I declined. I didn't really have any interest in a relationship, just passionate sex.
13. Several months ago I met a very nice girl in a foreign place, and I had the chance to spend a weekend with her before I was departing. I was very nervous about it—I had a small chance to be a stallion in bed, and if I couldn't perform she would always remember that (reason tells me this is a bit over the top, I know, but my brain is a simple creature). We had a lot of nice time together and drank a lot of wine, but the first evening she didn't want to have sex because she had a headache. She also doesn't orgasm from cunnilingus, which for some reason made me feel even more ineffective. The next evening (after another day of nice strolls, snacks, and wine) she really wanted to have sex but I found I did not, or rather could not: my penis was completely unresponsive. There, lying in bed, the clock ticking down to my evening departure, my brain was wracked. I'm sure it wasn't such a big deal to her, but to me it felt like a failure.
14. I left that girl to go on a trip back home (I was working overseas again). I traveled with two male friends and at times found the masculine energy too much—I was always getting erections even though neither of these dudes are what anyone would describe as attractive (fat from too much beer or wiry from too many cigarettes). After I left them I had a chance to go to a bathhouse by myself in Berlin, and I took it. I spent an hour wandering around the place, sort of shaking off followers/starers looking for something to happen. I saw a barrel-chested man giving another a blowjob and I was fascinated. I sat in the theater section and watched gay porn while slowly stroking, some men watched me but everyone was so shy. Finally in the steamroom I started talking to an older german man and asked if I could touch him—it was interesting, but I didn't experience the chills I had expected. He licked my ears and squeezed my pecs and nipples with some ferocity but I didn't want to kiss him. I didn't let him suck me because I wanted to minimize my risk. It took him a while to get hard so I finished from his handjob before he really got anything. After I had cum all over the floor (there were some other guys watching in there, but it was pretty dark and steamy), I stood up and went to rinse off (realizing how much cum I could have been sitting in). I feel bad that I didn't even finish that guy off, but I just wanted to leave. Once I was out of there I felt great, and practically skipped back to the hotel. I masturbated two more times that night.
15. Talking about cocks, thinking about encounters with men, looking at pictures of dudes making love, all of these things really get me off. However, I still find myself looking at women and wanting to spend time with one woman I am close to. When I think of the future, I picture myself with a woman. But for now it may be that banging dudes is my best bet. I am so afraid of STDs, though!
16. Last summer I went on a road trip with a friend of mine from summer camp. Following this trip, I was flying straight to Europe to spend a week with a 19-year-old girl I had met working overseas. For the entire road trip I was trying not to drink, eat, or spend too much (lose all the fitness I had worked so hard on, etc). It really cut into my friend's experience, and I regret it a bit. The trip culminated in San Francisco. Stupidly, we hadn't made any arrangements and so had to stay in a hotel. Everything was full except for one room in some dank place with a single queen size bed. For two nights we shared the bed together, and I found myself afraid to get too close to him, otherwise I might get aroused. Also, him walking around in his boxers or wearing a towel and playing with his balls on the bed really bothered me, partially because it was gross and partially because I think I feared my own arousal. This guy isn't some stud either, just a regular looking dude. But there was something in so much male contact (and no masturbation) that made me a bit crazy—coming in the shower while he watched TV gave me a bit of release.
17. So, I made it to Europe, and met up with this gorgeous German girl. I was so nervous to start anything, since I hadn't seen her in almost a year and I had no idea what it would be like. We made out a bit at first, and fortunately she had her period, so she didn't want to have sex for a day or two. This turned out great, because when we did start having sex, it was always fantastic. I had spent most of the year idolizing her and her beauty. In the end I had to face that she was pretty young, at a different point in her life, and really not the one for me, but she was just so hot. 6 months later, back in Europe, I had the chance to go see her, but I didn't, because she didn't seem interested. I think it was a good step for me to break my dependence.
18. Another friend and I were in Mongolia, in a little town with a public bathhouse. The bathhouse had a sauna but also a series of stalls with doors with an opening along the top so you could hear the people around you but not see them. My friend and I both took pretty long showers. Later we admitted that we had both been masturbating. I don't know how I feel that we were sharing the space but not really the room.
19. When I was a kid I remember feeling a tingle at seeing Harrison Ford tied up and shirtless in the Indiana Jones movie where they are stealing the magic stones. It is a memory that only resurfaced once I started trying to figure out if I was gay.
20. Last summer I had dinner with my dad, his wife, another couple they are friends with, and a divorced woman in her 50s. For some reason during that dinner I felt as if I would be the natural pair for the divorced woman, and I wrote a story about having sex with her. Recently I drove my dad's wife and the very same woman to the airport, and upon seeing her I felt something again, as if perhaps she knew too, and in other circumstances I might be making secret trips to her large divorce-settlement house for afternoon fun.
21. I love amateur porn, especially women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. One of my fantasies would be to have sex with a m/f couple in their 50's, nothing held back.
22. This might upset people, but sometimes I masturbate to clothed pictures of people I know (for some reason, always girls), especially for the final strokes.
23. I masturbate using the bottle-cap-opening method, which I really think has cut down on my sensitivity. Great to do on your partner, but bad in the long term for yourself!
24. It feels good when people touch my bum, especially in a dominant sort of way. I think I have an untapped submissive side, which I don't want to flesh out too much because it seems sort of incompatible with a lot of women who prefer a more dominant partner.
25. I love having trimmed balls and pubic hair.
2. My first blowjob was from a girl at summer camp, and it was fantastic. The next one was from my girlfriend who had previously told me she thought it was gross, which made me feel pretty bad for a long time. I still don't really like blowjobs, partially because I like more body contact, partially because they are rarely that good, and partially because I still feel it is demeaning to women (or at least many think so). I love cunnilingus, but I don't feel good when women don't show the same enthusiasm for fellatio.
3. The first time I had sex was with my longtime girlfriend, and it was very intimate and loving. Over the years we tried a lot of different things, but I don't think I could ever really give her the dominance that she wanted. We broke up just from moving to different places, but a year ago we had 2 passionate nights together. I found myself remembering to be more dominant than I normally would be, just because I knew she'd like it.
4. For a long time I have identified myself to people I know as “guy who loves to go after and talk about chicks.” This is sort of contradictory to reality, which is that I usually hate one-night stands because I get so worried about STDs afterwards, and I can only really enjoy sex with someone I am totally relaxed with. I find myself falling in love with women all the time; bank clerks, fellow passengers, girls in movies. But at the end of the day I usually have the best orgasms to gay porn.
5. It's strange to say, but I was looking at lots of amateur men posing nude on the internet for several years before I realized that I could possibly be gay. The moment I realized felt like one of those screen shots in the movies where everything focuses in on one point and the background zooms away. I was in college, and had gone out on a date with a gorgeous girl, but then found we had absolutely no chemistry. That night, sitting in my room, wondering what happened, I put two and two together: I'd been looking at a lot of naked men on the internet, I wasn't hooking up with girls, I might be gay... it was a pretty big funk I got myself into. I tried to talk to my long-distance girlfriend about it, but she treated the issue with fear and doubt. It only cleared up several months later when I was lying with said girlfriend in bed, and after some kissing I felt my penis coming back to life. Only then I realized that the realities of what I actually liked were not what I thought.
6. I've cheated before, and though I wouldn't encourage it, I don't regret it. My first girlfriend and I had been off and on for several years. Our connection was close--first sex, and lots of growing up together. While I studied abroad in college we weren't together, but we talked every day on gchat. About a month before I was going to return I learned that for most of the time we had been talking she had been sleeping with someone else. This was a big deal for us because it was the first person she'd been with after me. I should have had no reason to be angry, of course, because we weren't “together,” though it felt like the greatest betrayal of my life. Our final year of college (at different universities, very far apart) we decided to stay together long distance, and this is when I cheated on her three times (no sex, making out, some playful breast juggling and a blowjob). Strangely (or perhaps horribly), only after I had cheated on her was I able to release that sense of betrayal I still carried. After that, we had a very nice relationship until I moved overseas.
7. While I was overseas, circumstances put me into a relationship with a girl who I didn't feel very compatible with, but she really had no one else and I had no one else from my own culture. I tried to break up with her several times, but she refused. Where she lived she simply had no one, and she needed someone to connect with. This cracked our relationship like an egg on a rock, everything out in the open with almost no limitations. Surprisingly, our connection improved greatly--our sex became fantastic, we were able to talk to each other with total honesty, and we were able to explore a lot about ourselves within the safe space we created. She was the first girl I was able to talk about my interest in other guys to, and she was always encouraging. Once we returned from overseas she started dating women. Though perhaps she and I won't be having sex anytime soon, I'm grateful for the relationship--it was totally unbounded and supportive. Occasionally we do a bit of cybersex, which is still a bit weird.
8. The second person I ever had sex with was a girl from my university, the same age and very beautiful. She was really the initiator: she was the type of person that goes for what they want. Circumstances were such that we were both on campus at the end of the year and not much else was going on, so we fooled around a bit. A week or so later she left and invited me to her parents' lake house, where after some wine she convinced me to have sex (I was still in the “sex is for lovemaking” phase). The condom she produced was unlubricated--“I don't need lubrication”--and after some difficulty we decided not to use one at all (a ruse?). At the end of that summer I got tested and came back with chlamydia. The lake house girl was furious that I would even suggest I had gotten it from her, but she was the only possibility. Years later, a nurse at the university medical center said “Sometimes people lie about those things.”
9. Fortunately, chlamydia is a minor and curable STD, though having it made me really feel dirty and detached from my body. I felt like my penis was a weapon of scourge. I think some of these feelings still linger, which causes problems when I am getting with girls I don't know very well. On the upside, I have worn a condom for sex ever since—7 years without condomless sex. How good it must feel!
10. I find the Internet dangerously alluring when it comes to sex. Several years ago I posted a few faceless pics on a amateur site, and all the commenting and PM'ing became almost addictive. From there, I started posting pics on a gay version of the same site, and got much more attention. It feels very sexy to take pictures of yourself in various sexy and exposed poses. The attention from men is very gratifying, and led to some of my first cybersex chats and photo exchanges.
11. From my forays on the Internet I found myself most attracted to big-bellied, slightly hairy, older men. I wrote a few erotic stories for Literotica and found the process as arousing as the result. I signed up for a site that caters to older men and younger admirers, and sometimes will message back and forth a bit with older men in my area, though I'm not sure if I will ever really go through with it. I'm simply too scared of STDs.
12. About a year ago I posted an ad on Craigslist to see if anyone had had a similar situation to mine. I got a lot of responses, and ended up meeting with a guy to talk about how he had been married and then eventually come out. However, though on paper it had seemed similar, in actuality his story was different from mine. He had been religious and carried some guilt about it, and also never really liked licking vagina. After our coffee he said if I ever wanted to try anything in a safe place I could do so with him. I declined, but I still think about that when I masturbate sometimes. He also sent me an email a week later inviting me to dinner, but I declined. I didn't really have any interest in a relationship, just passionate sex.
13. Several months ago I met a very nice girl in a foreign place, and I had the chance to spend a weekend with her before I was departing. I was very nervous about it—I had a small chance to be a stallion in bed, and if I couldn't perform she would always remember that (reason tells me this is a bit over the top, I know, but my brain is a simple creature). We had a lot of nice time together and drank a lot of wine, but the first evening she didn't want to have sex because she had a headache. She also doesn't orgasm from cunnilingus, which for some reason made me feel even more ineffective. The next evening (after another day of nice strolls, snacks, and wine) she really wanted to have sex but I found I did not, or rather could not: my penis was completely unresponsive. There, lying in bed, the clock ticking down to my evening departure, my brain was wracked. I'm sure it wasn't such a big deal to her, but to me it felt like a failure.
14. I left that girl to go on a trip back home (I was working overseas again). I traveled with two male friends and at times found the masculine energy too much—I was always getting erections even though neither of these dudes are what anyone would describe as attractive (fat from too much beer or wiry from too many cigarettes). After I left them I had a chance to go to a bathhouse by myself in Berlin, and I took it. I spent an hour wandering around the place, sort of shaking off followers/starers looking for something to happen. I saw a barrel-chested man giving another a blowjob and I was fascinated. I sat in the theater section and watched gay porn while slowly stroking, some men watched me but everyone was so shy. Finally in the steamroom I started talking to an older german man and asked if I could touch him—it was interesting, but I didn't experience the chills I had expected. He licked my ears and squeezed my pecs and nipples with some ferocity but I didn't want to kiss him. I didn't let him suck me because I wanted to minimize my risk. It took him a while to get hard so I finished from his handjob before he really got anything. After I had cum all over the floor (there were some other guys watching in there, but it was pretty dark and steamy), I stood up and went to rinse off (realizing how much cum I could have been sitting in). I feel bad that I didn't even finish that guy off, but I just wanted to leave. Once I was out of there I felt great, and practically skipped back to the hotel. I masturbated two more times that night.
15. Talking about cocks, thinking about encounters with men, looking at pictures of dudes making love, all of these things really get me off. However, I still find myself looking at women and wanting to spend time with one woman I am close to. When I think of the future, I picture myself with a woman. But for now it may be that banging dudes is my best bet. I am so afraid of STDs, though!
16. Last summer I went on a road trip with a friend of mine from summer camp. Following this trip, I was flying straight to Europe to spend a week with a 19-year-old girl I had met working overseas. For the entire road trip I was trying not to drink, eat, or spend too much (lose all the fitness I had worked so hard on, etc). It really cut into my friend's experience, and I regret it a bit. The trip culminated in San Francisco. Stupidly, we hadn't made any arrangements and so had to stay in a hotel. Everything was full except for one room in some dank place with a single queen size bed. For two nights we shared the bed together, and I found myself afraid to get too close to him, otherwise I might get aroused. Also, him walking around in his boxers or wearing a towel and playing with his balls on the bed really bothered me, partially because it was gross and partially because I think I feared my own arousal. This guy isn't some stud either, just a regular looking dude. But there was something in so much male contact (and no masturbation) that made me a bit crazy—coming in the shower while he watched TV gave me a bit of release.
17. So, I made it to Europe, and met up with this gorgeous German girl. I was so nervous to start anything, since I hadn't seen her in almost a year and I had no idea what it would be like. We made out a bit at first, and fortunately she had her period, so she didn't want to have sex for a day or two. This turned out great, because when we did start having sex, it was always fantastic. I had spent most of the year idolizing her and her beauty. In the end I had to face that she was pretty young, at a different point in her life, and really not the one for me, but she was just so hot. 6 months later, back in Europe, I had the chance to go see her, but I didn't, because she didn't seem interested. I think it was a good step for me to break my dependence.
18. Another friend and I were in Mongolia, in a little town with a public bathhouse. The bathhouse had a sauna but also a series of stalls with doors with an opening along the top so you could hear the people around you but not see them. My friend and I both took pretty long showers. Later we admitted that we had both been masturbating. I don't know how I feel that we were sharing the space but not really the room.
19. When I was a kid I remember feeling a tingle at seeing Harrison Ford tied up and shirtless in the Indiana Jones movie where they are stealing the magic stones. It is a memory that only resurfaced once I started trying to figure out if I was gay.
20. Last summer I had dinner with my dad, his wife, another couple they are friends with, and a divorced woman in her 50s. For some reason during that dinner I felt as if I would be the natural pair for the divorced woman, and I wrote a story about having sex with her. Recently I drove my dad's wife and the very same woman to the airport, and upon seeing her I felt something again, as if perhaps she knew too, and in other circumstances I might be making secret trips to her large divorce-settlement house for afternoon fun.
21. I love amateur porn, especially women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. One of my fantasies would be to have sex with a m/f couple in their 50's, nothing held back.
22. This might upset people, but sometimes I masturbate to clothed pictures of people I know (for some reason, always girls), especially for the final strokes.
23. I masturbate using the bottle-cap-opening method, which I really think has cut down on my sensitivity. Great to do on your partner, but bad in the long term for yourself!
24. It feels good when people touch my bum, especially in a dominant sort of way. I think I have an untapped submissive side, which I don't want to flesh out too much because it seems sort of incompatible with a lot of women who prefer a more dominant partner.
25. I love having trimmed balls and pubic hair.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
1) I’m a 30-year-old straight female, who has yet to be attracted to a woman, but is open to the idea if it ever occurred.
2) I’m a virgin, an "accidental virgin" to be precise. I have some anxiety issues that make it very difficult for me to feel comfortable with potential partners, so it just hasn’t happened.
3) I’m overweight, but not obese. I’ve been described as having classic features. I’ve had plenty of admirers, and many compliments over the years. I know that people find me attractive, but I’m rarely included in that number.
4) I developed a keen interest in sex at an early age. By the time I had my first sex ed class in school, I’d already read “The Joy of Sex," and begun masturbating occasionally.
5) Once puberty hit, I began masturbating almost daily. I go through phases now when I’m just too busy, or uninterested, but it’s very rare to go a whole week without masturbating at least a few times.
6) By the time I was 7 I’d already had my first boyfriend. This relationship consisted of making out together during recess, and occasionally holding hands. He moved away that summer.
7) I’ve kissed a girl, in all seriousness, once. Also in elementary school, in the bathroom. We were both standing on a toilet seat in a pink bathroom stall, if I recall correctly.
7) I watch porn. To get off, to get hot, or just to see what other people get up too. I’m mostly turned off by the highly produced stuff, and am puzzled as to why the cootch-cam is so popular. I like to see people's expressions when they are enjoying themselves. But it’s the sound that really gets me going. I love to hear a good, undignified, full body moan.
8) I’m a little terrified of telling someone that he’s (I assume) my first. I plan on avoiding that topic until afterward if I can help it. I never really placed a lot of weight on my first time, but fear that the knowledge would prompt a lot of questions, or cause some insecurities in my partner. That, and it’s a little embarrassing, if I’m completely honest.
9) I worry that I may never have sex. I’m a creature of habit, and a 30-year-old habit tends to be hard to break.
10) I’m open to the idea of unconventional sexual relationships. Light BDSM, threesomes, even electrical play are all fantasies of mine.
11) I especially like watching gay porn. I’ve often fantasized about being a man, with another man. I don’t think this says anything about my psyche, just that I like to replay those images. But I could be wrong--maybe it says a lot about me.
12) I’ve said before that I’m actually a gay man stuck in a woman’s body. Mostly this is just a joke, because either way I’m attracted to men predominantly. But I did have a number of years in which I was only attracted to gay men.
13) I feel sorry for people who need to constantly date, moving on from one partner to another the second a relationship ends. I never meant to remain alone as long as I have, but really? Being single has its perks. That being said, I’ve certainly proven that I can do alone quite well. Now on to one of those relationship things.
14) I don’t think I would ever be comfortable with a one-night stand.
15) I’d love to end up with a bisexual man. I love the idea of using a strap-on with a man, because it turns him on. Or having a MMF threesome, because my partner and I are both attracted to the same man.
16) I’m sort of grossed out by menstruation. It’s just a messy process, there’s nothing to be done for it. I’d avoid it if there weren’t major consequences to that.
17) I’ve never been on any form of birth control. I’m pretty sure my doctor thinks that’s due to religious reasons, and that I’m not being honest when I always answer ‘no’ to ‘are you currently sexually active?’
18) I’ve never had more than two true orgasms in one sitting before. Mostly, I tend to tease myself until I can’t take it anymore, then go for a big one. And then sometimes I’ll try to push it further. But after that, I’m just tired and ultra-sensitive, and lose interest. I wonder if I would be more prone to multiple orgasms with a partner.
19) I currently own 3 vibrators and a dildo. Two are bullet-style, and are my go-tos.
20) I’ve never had a g-spot orgasm. Have tried, but obviously am getting the angle wrong.
21) I get uncomfortable when strangers, or even not-so-close acquaintances, invade my personal space. This is a major contributing reason to my continuing virginity.
22) I’ve been kissed (romantically) twice in the past 12 months. The first was by a guy I met online, I had already decided not to see him again, but felt bad not letting him kiss me. Imagine someone doing an impression of a fish, that’s how he kissed. The second was a (former?) friend. Within about three dates he had all but told me he loved me, while I was trying to figure out if I even liked him in a romantic sense. He’s a good kisser, but I ended things with him shortly after because I didn’t feel anything when it happened.
23) I’m not certain that I want to have children. There is no political reason behind that, no stand against overpopulation. I’m just not sure I’d like it. I love some kids most of the time, but tire quickly of others. I feel like less of a woman when I think this way. Like procreation is the ultimate act of being a woman.
24) I sometimes think my life would be easier if I were gay. The pressure of societal disapproval would probably make me more defiant than I am (I’m not a fan of being told what to and not to do). I think, if I were a lesbian, that I’d probably be rather promiscuous, just to prove myself to the world.
25) My parents never talked to me about sex. It’s still not a topic that comes up with them. On one hand, it’s nice that I was 18 before I ever overheard them having sex, and never walked in on them. On the other hand, maybe I would have a higher sense of self-worth if they’d been more open with me when I was growing up.
2) I’m a virgin, an "accidental virgin" to be precise. I have some anxiety issues that make it very difficult for me to feel comfortable with potential partners, so it just hasn’t happened.
3) I’m overweight, but not obese. I’ve been described as having classic features. I’ve had plenty of admirers, and many compliments over the years. I know that people find me attractive, but I’m rarely included in that number.
4) I developed a keen interest in sex at an early age. By the time I had my first sex ed class in school, I’d already read “The Joy of Sex," and begun masturbating occasionally.
5) Once puberty hit, I began masturbating almost daily. I go through phases now when I’m just too busy, or uninterested, but it’s very rare to go a whole week without masturbating at least a few times.
6) By the time I was 7 I’d already had my first boyfriend. This relationship consisted of making out together during recess, and occasionally holding hands. He moved away that summer.
7) I’ve kissed a girl, in all seriousness, once. Also in elementary school, in the bathroom. We were both standing on a toilet seat in a pink bathroom stall, if I recall correctly.
7) I watch porn. To get off, to get hot, or just to see what other people get up too. I’m mostly turned off by the highly produced stuff, and am puzzled as to why the cootch-cam is so popular. I like to see people's expressions when they are enjoying themselves. But it’s the sound that really gets me going. I love to hear a good, undignified, full body moan.
8) I’m a little terrified of telling someone that he’s (I assume) my first. I plan on avoiding that topic until afterward if I can help it. I never really placed a lot of weight on my first time, but fear that the knowledge would prompt a lot of questions, or cause some insecurities in my partner. That, and it’s a little embarrassing, if I’m completely honest.
9) I worry that I may never have sex. I’m a creature of habit, and a 30-year-old habit tends to be hard to break.
10) I’m open to the idea of unconventional sexual relationships. Light BDSM, threesomes, even electrical play are all fantasies of mine.
11) I especially like watching gay porn. I’ve often fantasized about being a man, with another man. I don’t think this says anything about my psyche, just that I like to replay those images. But I could be wrong--maybe it says a lot about me.
12) I’ve said before that I’m actually a gay man stuck in a woman’s body. Mostly this is just a joke, because either way I’m attracted to men predominantly. But I did have a number of years in which I was only attracted to gay men.
13) I feel sorry for people who need to constantly date, moving on from one partner to another the second a relationship ends. I never meant to remain alone as long as I have, but really? Being single has its perks. That being said, I’ve certainly proven that I can do alone quite well. Now on to one of those relationship things.
14) I don’t think I would ever be comfortable with a one-night stand.
15) I’d love to end up with a bisexual man. I love the idea of using a strap-on with a man, because it turns him on. Or having a MMF threesome, because my partner and I are both attracted to the same man.
16) I’m sort of grossed out by menstruation. It’s just a messy process, there’s nothing to be done for it. I’d avoid it if there weren’t major consequences to that.
17) I’ve never been on any form of birth control. I’m pretty sure my doctor thinks that’s due to religious reasons, and that I’m not being honest when I always answer ‘no’ to ‘are you currently sexually active?’
18) I’ve never had more than two true orgasms in one sitting before. Mostly, I tend to tease myself until I can’t take it anymore, then go for a big one. And then sometimes I’ll try to push it further. But after that, I’m just tired and ultra-sensitive, and lose interest. I wonder if I would be more prone to multiple orgasms with a partner.
19) I currently own 3 vibrators and a dildo. Two are bullet-style, and are my go-tos.
20) I’ve never had a g-spot orgasm. Have tried, but obviously am getting the angle wrong.
21) I get uncomfortable when strangers, or even not-so-close acquaintances, invade my personal space. This is a major contributing reason to my continuing virginity.
22) I’ve been kissed (romantically) twice in the past 12 months. The first was by a guy I met online, I had already decided not to see him again, but felt bad not letting him kiss me. Imagine someone doing an impression of a fish, that’s how he kissed. The second was a (former?) friend. Within about three dates he had all but told me he loved me, while I was trying to figure out if I even liked him in a romantic sense. He’s a good kisser, but I ended things with him shortly after because I didn’t feel anything when it happened.
23) I’m not certain that I want to have children. There is no political reason behind that, no stand against overpopulation. I’m just not sure I’d like it. I love some kids most of the time, but tire quickly of others. I feel like less of a woman when I think this way. Like procreation is the ultimate act of being a woman.
24) I sometimes think my life would be easier if I were gay. The pressure of societal disapproval would probably make me more defiant than I am (I’m not a fan of being told what to and not to do). I think, if I were a lesbian, that I’d probably be rather promiscuous, just to prove myself to the world.
25) My parents never talked to me about sex. It’s still not a topic that comes up with them. On one hand, it’s nice that I was 18 before I ever overheard them having sex, and never walked in on them. On the other hand, maybe I would have a higher sense of self-worth if they’d been more open with me when I was growing up.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
1. I'm a 24-year-old female who would probably identify as queer if anyone outside of trendy college students knew what that word meant.
2. I've never had sex with a woman.
3. I didn't think that I was 'bisexual' (how I usually refer to myself) until I was 20 years old.
4. I've had multiple crushes on women, but there was this one girl I was just obsessed with... so yeah, that was when I was like, "duh, you're bi".
5. When I realized I was bi, I lived in a co-op with a bunch of gender study types, all of whom I'm pretty sure assumed I wasn't straight simply on the basis of my appearance and acquaintances, so I didn't really need to come out.
6. I don't think I would date a woman... but then again, I would have done anything that girl from # 4 wanted, so I guess it could happen.
7. I have had sex with 5 men, all of whom I dated, but not always at the same time that I was having sex with them.
9. I'm currently in an 'open' relationship. No, wait, according to him, we're broken up. According to me, I don't care so long as we can still fuck.
10. I'm in love with the guy from number 9, and he's great.
11. I would really like to fool around with my chemistry professor (whose research team I am on). He's a lot older than me (50ish?), and he's married with adult children. But he's so hot.
12. I'm very attracted to teachers and other authority figures (no cops, army guys, etc). I want to fuck dominant men and women who are in control and tell me what to do. I have wanted to fuck many teachers, both male and female, since middle school.
13. I think that exposure to mainstream porn has made it difficult for me to express my sexual desires... I'm afraid that if I say I like something (like being dominated) then people will automatically assume all this clichéd porn stuff.
13. I have not succeeded with sleeping with any of said teachers.
14. I am bad at sleeping with people. I would have more casual sex if it were up to me. I am not sure how to go about doing this, as I don't like online sites like Craigslist and OKCupid (I'm not really an internet socializer).
15. I wish that I was one of those women who gave off sexual vibes. I feel like I'm not the kind of girl people would expect to come onto them... so therefore I wait for people to come onto me, which is stupid.
16. I have been told that I come off as neither male nor female by more than one person in my life. I actually disagree with this.
17. When I was little I really, really wanted to be a boy. I would have given anything not to be female. Now I like being a girl.
18. I like it when my partner tells me what to do in bed. I like to be forced and restrained. It does not feel degrading to me.
19. I fantasize about being spanked a lot. It is one of my earliest fantasies. I wonder whether I would like this in real life.
20. I fantasize about double penetration a lot. I am pretty certain I would enjoy this.
21. I love giving head, and love being eaten out.
22. I have only come from penetration one time, and I was alone. But I love being penetrated.
23. I am insecure about my looks, but part of me secretly thinks that I am very attractive (I guess I am my own type?).
24. I love being bitten and having my neck sucked on and getting hickeys.
25. I think that it would be healthy for me to explore sex more, and with more people. But I am very unsure as to how I may accomplish this.
2. I've never had sex with a woman.
3. I didn't think that I was 'bisexual' (how I usually refer to myself) until I was 20 years old.
4. I've had multiple crushes on women, but there was this one girl I was just obsessed with... so yeah, that was when I was like, "duh, you're bi".
5. When I realized I was bi, I lived in a co-op with a bunch of gender study types, all of whom I'm pretty sure assumed I wasn't straight simply on the basis of my appearance and acquaintances, so I didn't really need to come out.
6. I don't think I would date a woman... but then again, I would have done anything that girl from # 4 wanted, so I guess it could happen.
7. I have had sex with 5 men, all of whom I dated, but not always at the same time that I was having sex with them.
9. I'm currently in an 'open' relationship. No, wait, according to him, we're broken up. According to me, I don't care so long as we can still fuck.
10. I'm in love with the guy from number 9, and he's great.
11. I would really like to fool around with my chemistry professor (whose research team I am on). He's a lot older than me (50ish?), and he's married with adult children. But he's so hot.
12. I'm very attracted to teachers and other authority figures (no cops, army guys, etc). I want to fuck dominant men and women who are in control and tell me what to do. I have wanted to fuck many teachers, both male and female, since middle school.
13. I think that exposure to mainstream porn has made it difficult for me to express my sexual desires... I'm afraid that if I say I like something (like being dominated) then people will automatically assume all this clichéd porn stuff.
13. I have not succeeded with sleeping with any of said teachers.
14. I am bad at sleeping with people. I would have more casual sex if it were up to me. I am not sure how to go about doing this, as I don't like online sites like Craigslist and OKCupid (I'm not really an internet socializer).
15. I wish that I was one of those women who gave off sexual vibes. I feel like I'm not the kind of girl people would expect to come onto them... so therefore I wait for people to come onto me, which is stupid.
16. I have been told that I come off as neither male nor female by more than one person in my life. I actually disagree with this.
17. When I was little I really, really wanted to be a boy. I would have given anything not to be female. Now I like being a girl.
18. I like it when my partner tells me what to do in bed. I like to be forced and restrained. It does not feel degrading to me.
19. I fantasize about being spanked a lot. It is one of my earliest fantasies. I wonder whether I would like this in real life.
20. I fantasize about double penetration a lot. I am pretty certain I would enjoy this.
21. I love giving head, and love being eaten out.
22. I have only come from penetration one time, and I was alone. But I love being penetrated.
23. I am insecure about my looks, but part of me secretly thinks that I am very attractive (I guess I am my own type?).
24. I love being bitten and having my neck sucked on and getting hickeys.
25. I think that it would be healthy for me to explore sex more, and with more people. But I am very unsure as to how I may accomplish this.
Monday, February 7, 2011
1. I stopped considering myself a virgin when I was 18 after spending a week in Chicago with a woman that I had worked with and fallen in love with in Alaska over the summer. At that point, I wasn’t sure exactly what counted as women losing their virginity to each other, but something happened that week that was different from anything I had previously experienced.
2. I love, love, love long hair. Women, men, doesn’t matter. The thought of fucking someone with hair flying everywhere is amazing.
3. I was once involved in a three-way makeout session in college with a man and a lady. At the time, I was seventeen, and thought it was so bad-ass that the three of us all went to breakfast together in the morning. We wondered (loudly and often) if the waitress had any suspicions.
4. I almost drunkenly made out with my best female friend in high school. I am glad I did not.
5. I orgasm quickly for a woman. Sometimes it happens WAY too quickly.
6. I dated a woman in college who was great at giving oral sex. Because I would come way too quickly, she would accuse me of faking it. Trust me, I was NOT.
7. I started watching hetero porn this summer and was surprised by how much it turned me on. Not anything professionally done, but I find amateur couples so hot.
8. I love having my fingers sucked.
9. I didn’t have vaginal intercourse with a man until I was 25. I felt very grown-up, for some reason, even though this was something all my friends had been doing for years.
10. I only had one orgasm with this man, and then I broke up with him via Facebook. I still feel a little guilty about it.
11. I think I like the feeling of hard cock pressed up against my leg more than I actually like it inside of me. Maybe I just need to try it again with someone else.
12. I love making out in my tent. That Marmot has seen some action.
13. I really like the idea of a guy coming on me, shooting all over my breasts or belly. That turns me on a lot. Definitely on my “to-do” list.
14. I dated a boy in high school who had long black hair and wanted to make out everywhere: my mother’s car, public parks in our suburb, outside of coffee shops, in my bedroom when my parents were home. Maybe this is why I like the feeling of hard cock against my leg.
15. I love loud moaning, grunting, any kind of sex noise. Sometimes I would hear them when I was retrieving my laundry in college and would stop outside the door to listen and get jealous.
16. I gave my long-term girlfriend her first orgasm EVER in the employee housing of the National Park I was working in at the time. I am still proud of that one.
17. I love playing with my nipples when I masturbate.
18. Having sex with a woman to Ani Difranco may be the most cliché thing ever, but I still enjoy it.
19. My first sexual experience with a man was terrible. I was locked into a neighbor’s house and forced to touch his penis. Maybe this is why I am still afraid to look at them.
20. This person was also technically my first kiss. However, I don’t count him, but rather the long-black-haired boy mentioned in number 14.
21. I started masturbating when I was 13. I don’t think that I got really, really good at it until this year, though.
22. I love the kind of sex that is so frantic that both parties only manage to get their pants off and shirts stay on because the top half of your body becomes somehow, er, less important.
23. I had my first big, penetrative orgasm in the basement of my parents’ house over a winter break during college. Hopefully they are still unaware of this.
24. I get big teacher/professor crushes on my female professors. This makes me afraid to speak in their classes, because I am just SURE THEY CAN TELL that I think about their boobs. (This is silly at my age in graduate school, I know, but it still goes on.)
25. The best place to have any kind of sexual activity occur is the Seaside Farm in Homer, Alaska. Those cabin beds have probably seen more than I like to imagine, but the beach! The raspberry patch! The swing! So beautiful and erotic.
2. I love, love, love long hair. Women, men, doesn’t matter. The thought of fucking someone with hair flying everywhere is amazing.
3. I was once involved in a three-way makeout session in college with a man and a lady. At the time, I was seventeen, and thought it was so bad-ass that the three of us all went to breakfast together in the morning. We wondered (loudly and often) if the waitress had any suspicions.
4. I almost drunkenly made out with my best female friend in high school. I am glad I did not.
5. I orgasm quickly for a woman. Sometimes it happens WAY too quickly.
6. I dated a woman in college who was great at giving oral sex. Because I would come way too quickly, she would accuse me of faking it. Trust me, I was NOT.
7. I started watching hetero porn this summer and was surprised by how much it turned me on. Not anything professionally done, but I find amateur couples so hot.
8. I love having my fingers sucked.
9. I didn’t have vaginal intercourse with a man until I was 25. I felt very grown-up, for some reason, even though this was something all my friends had been doing for years.
10. I only had one orgasm with this man, and then I broke up with him via Facebook. I still feel a little guilty about it.
11. I think I like the feeling of hard cock pressed up against my leg more than I actually like it inside of me. Maybe I just need to try it again with someone else.
12. I love making out in my tent. That Marmot has seen some action.
13. I really like the idea of a guy coming on me, shooting all over my breasts or belly. That turns me on a lot. Definitely on my “to-do” list.
14. I dated a boy in high school who had long black hair and wanted to make out everywhere: my mother’s car, public parks in our suburb, outside of coffee shops, in my bedroom when my parents were home. Maybe this is why I like the feeling of hard cock against my leg.
15. I love loud moaning, grunting, any kind of sex noise. Sometimes I would hear them when I was retrieving my laundry in college and would stop outside the door to listen and get jealous.
16. I gave my long-term girlfriend her first orgasm EVER in the employee housing of the National Park I was working in at the time. I am still proud of that one.
17. I love playing with my nipples when I masturbate.
18. Having sex with a woman to Ani Difranco may be the most cliché thing ever, but I still enjoy it.
19. My first sexual experience with a man was terrible. I was locked into a neighbor’s house and forced to touch his penis. Maybe this is why I am still afraid to look at them.
20. This person was also technically my first kiss. However, I don’t count him, but rather the long-black-haired boy mentioned in number 14.
21. I started masturbating when I was 13. I don’t think that I got really, really good at it until this year, though.
22. I love the kind of sex that is so frantic that both parties only manage to get their pants off and shirts stay on because the top half of your body becomes somehow, er, less important.
23. I had my first big, penetrative orgasm in the basement of my parents’ house over a winter break during college. Hopefully they are still unaware of this.
24. I get big teacher/professor crushes on my female professors. This makes me afraid to speak in their classes, because I am just SURE THEY CAN TELL that I think about their boobs. (This is silly at my age in graduate school, I know, but it still goes on.)
25. The best place to have any kind of sexual activity occur is the Seaside Farm in Homer, Alaska. Those cabin beds have probably seen more than I like to imagine, but the beach! The raspberry patch! The swing! So beautiful and erotic.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
1. I'm a 22, soon to be 23-year-old woman. But sometimes I'm more like a young girl, and sometimes an old woman. I've slept with only about seven people, I think. Some of the memories are blurry, either because I was drunk at the time or because they didn't mean anything and I've forgotten them. I've never had a relationship. I've never liked anyone enough. Plus I think I'm afraid of emotional intimacy - I hate feeling vulnerable.
2. When I was younger, pubescent hormones and the wonder of discovery made me masturbate in the girls' toilets at school, on the back of a bus, in a dark cinema. What was risqué to me then is now vanilla. I need more to get off. My mind is like a wet slippery slope.
3. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bad person, because I get off on fantasizing about immoral, taboo things. Normally I reassure myself that there's an important distinction between reality and fantasy, so it's all good.
4. I'm the only person who's ever made me come. I find this irritating but also kind of amusing. That's not to say I don't enjoy sex without orgasms. I just want to know that I'm capable of it. It's amusing, because it's as if I'm the only one with the "magic fingers." I alone have got the power!
5. I prefer girth to length. I love the feeling that I have to stretch to accept someone's genitalia inside me. Less so the feeling of my organs getting pummeled.
6. Instead of boxes and square labels, I look at sexuality as a spectrum. Sometimes I waver along the heterosexual end, sometimes the homosexual end, usually somewhere around the middle. Like a rainbow.
7. I always swallow. I just find the thought of spitting out someone's essence a huge slap in the face to them. And it would totally kill the buzz of what we've just done. Plus, sometimes it doesn't taste all that bad. The healthier the boy, the yummier.
8. My favorite moment in sex is when he comes inside me. He just goes still, probably temporarily unconscious... and I feel like he's given me a special part of himself, and I get to keep it. Me, I feel kind of proud... and cherished.
9. I love erotic fiction. Sexy literature. Mills & Boon novels. Despite being a commitment-phobe, I'm a huge romantic. I know, it's confusing.
10. Fave sex position? Haven't decided yet.... maybe doggy-style? I'm lazy.
11. When I masturbate I mainly stimulate my clit. But sometimes the mood will strike and I'll feel like getting a bit dirty with some anal action. Vaginal penetration is really only ever amazing when someone else is doing it to me.
12. Sometimes I feel pressure to come for the guy's sake. I get self-conscious when I'm not wet enough or into it enough, as if I'm letting him down. I don't want to hurt his feelings... but the more I think during sex, the more removed and distant I become, and the less pleasure I feel. It's a vicious cycle.
13. I was surprised to discover that I'm an exhibitionist. Not so much sex in public, although i have done that incidentally (very drunk). But i love to show off. I get disappointed when the lights aren't on. But having no sight can heighten your other senses too, so whatever.
14. I was a stripper for a year. I mostly loved it, the attention, the dancing, the hedonism, the nudity. I found it empowering. I loved doing something that so many women couldn't bring themselves to do. I like being a rebel, a daredevil, progressive and liberated and self-confident. But I had to get out.... it was lessening my opinion of men. I was beginning to resent and dislike them. And even though my body was in great shape from all the dancing, I could feel the late nights and makeup and booze aging me. Keeping up a sexy, flirtatious and provocative facade for male stimulation while simultaneously holding up a protective barrier is emotionally exhausting too. Some of the things that guys will believe and tell you--half the time I felt like a therapist. I don't know how some of those women do it for years and years. It's got to be one of the hardest (if well paid) jobs in the world, both physically and mentally. But in the end the ups couldn't justify the downs.
15. I'd like to be grabbed and thrown against a wall, over a desk, hands held back, hair pulled, butt slapped and pinched. There is something incredibly erotic about being dominated and out of control. Wild. Animalistic. Sexy. Also it's a huge turn on and ego-stroke to feel the physical evidence of how desperately you can make another person want to possess you.
16. I had a threesome with one of my best girlfriends at the time and her boyfriend. I'd always been attracted to them both, but she instigated it. She told me she'd been having dreams about me, about suckling my nipples, about the three of us dressing up in skimpy lingerie. So we decided to live it out. We all got really drunk, played spin the bottle, I gave them a little striptease, then we spent hours in bed together. It was exciting and nerve-racking and adventurous, if a little complicated... it's hard to choreograph three bodies so that they all fit together well... you've got to be careful no one gets left out. She was the first and only woman I've gone down on. I liked it, but I wasn't very good at it--I had no idea what to do. Unfortunately women aren't taught how to give oral to a woman. I was able to access info about giving blowjobs to guys from an early age... magazines, internet, friends.... but the female anatomy, even though I'm familiar with my own and know how I like to be given head... it's totally different giving it to receiving it. I felt like I was traversing a whole new landscape. I'd like to try it again.
17. I was almost 18 when I lost my virginity. It was sudden and unexpected and intense. It didn't hurt at all, it felt great, but of course, I didn't come. I remember reveling in the feeling of being bruised and tender and swollen between my thighs for days afterward. I felt wanton and womanly. It was awesome.
18. I've found that sensations are usually more intense and thus the sex is better when I've been drinking. I don't know if it's because alcohol heightens the physical nervous system, somehow turns me on more, lowers my inhibitions or simply dulls my thought processes so that I think and worry less, but I tend to be my most sexual when I've had a few.
19. It turns me on if a guy talks dirty while we're doing it, as long as I'm in the heat of the moment. But I'm shy about talking dirty back. I worry about sounding corny or amateurish.
20. I like the idea of an open relationship. No rules, no restrictions or expectations. No chance of being betrayed or feeling guilty. Free love and sex, baby. Yeah. Rock 'n' roll. I know it's probably like communism, though - an excellent ideal in theory, but far from practical.
21. In contrast to #20, I also daydream about a man wanting me with all his being, not being able to live without me, wanting me above all others, forever, and not wanting to share me. Having that unique connection and chemistry. "Soulmate." If my soulmate exists, though, I don't want us to find each other until I've explored and experimented a bit more. Give me a few more years before I become traditional and respectable and settled.
22. I've been single for all my 23 years. I'm proud of being an independent woman who doesn't need a man to validate her own existence. But I do get lonely, a lot. It used to be that I craved sex like women crave chocolate or blokes crave beer. I had this empty, needy feeling in my pussy, this tingly irritating feeling all over my skin, that demanded cock and hands and a warm body. The cravings have subsided as I've gotten older. Now I mainly crave intimacy. I don't care about the sex so much as the companionship, the sharing of intimate feelings and the gentle touching and exploring, the connection. I just want to be able to lay next to a body and enjoy each other's physicality and personality. Is this all just a symptom of maturing?
23. I've been "the other woman." I always swore I'd never betray another fellow female like that, by taking what was hers. But I've discovered that values and morals and principles, like sexual appetite, are constantly in flux, changing and reshaping as your experiences expand and your needs evolve. I actually decided that I would have sex with this guy for my sake, and put myself first, instead of abstaining for her sake, and putting someone else first. It was selfish, but I knew that at the time. I consciously allowed myself to do the selfish thing for once. Was it worth it? Well, I don't regret it. Gosh, it was such a really interesting experiment... You should have seen the drastically different reactions I got from my friends. Some said "Go for it, he's the one in the relationship so he has to shoulder the responsibility, if he doesn't cheat on his girlfriend with you he'll just do it with someone else anyway, it's not your concern." Others were horrified and shocked that I was even considering it. They just thought that it was a sacrilegious, bitchy, treacherous thing to do. I can understand and agree with both points of view. But sometimes living a life that's politically correct and ethically proper and completely selfless is just not living much at all.
24. I've tasted my own menstrual blood. I got the idea from Germaine Greer. She is one of my feminist idols. I don't think it's a big deal... bodily fluids, that is... it really baffles and saddens me that people can be so uptight about what's only natural.
25. I no longer just have sex with anyone, anytime. I just went through about 15 months of self-inflicted celibacy. I've been waiting for something; I'm still waiting. I'm sick of having a good time, then feeling empty and lonely afterward. I want to discover that connection, something more fulfilling. I dunno, maybe I'm looking for love and romance. I've only ever fucked, never "made love." I definitely want to experience it one day... soon. But I'm scared. I'm scared I won't be able to let myself go... I'm scared if I do I'll let them down, or they'll let me down. And I'm scared I'll never find whatever it is I'm looking for.
2. When I was younger, pubescent hormones and the wonder of discovery made me masturbate in the girls' toilets at school, on the back of a bus, in a dark cinema. What was risqué to me then is now vanilla. I need more to get off. My mind is like a wet slippery slope.
3. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bad person, because I get off on fantasizing about immoral, taboo things. Normally I reassure myself that there's an important distinction between reality and fantasy, so it's all good.
4. I'm the only person who's ever made me come. I find this irritating but also kind of amusing. That's not to say I don't enjoy sex without orgasms. I just want to know that I'm capable of it. It's amusing, because it's as if I'm the only one with the "magic fingers." I alone have got the power!
5. I prefer girth to length. I love the feeling that I have to stretch to accept someone's genitalia inside me. Less so the feeling of my organs getting pummeled.
6. Instead of boxes and square labels, I look at sexuality as a spectrum. Sometimes I waver along the heterosexual end, sometimes the homosexual end, usually somewhere around the middle. Like a rainbow.
7. I always swallow. I just find the thought of spitting out someone's essence a huge slap in the face to them. And it would totally kill the buzz of what we've just done. Plus, sometimes it doesn't taste all that bad. The healthier the boy, the yummier.
8. My favorite moment in sex is when he comes inside me. He just goes still, probably temporarily unconscious... and I feel like he's given me a special part of himself, and I get to keep it. Me, I feel kind of proud... and cherished.
9. I love erotic fiction. Sexy literature. Mills & Boon novels. Despite being a commitment-phobe, I'm a huge romantic. I know, it's confusing.
10. Fave sex position? Haven't decided yet.... maybe doggy-style? I'm lazy.
11. When I masturbate I mainly stimulate my clit. But sometimes the mood will strike and I'll feel like getting a bit dirty with some anal action. Vaginal penetration is really only ever amazing when someone else is doing it to me.
12. Sometimes I feel pressure to come for the guy's sake. I get self-conscious when I'm not wet enough or into it enough, as if I'm letting him down. I don't want to hurt his feelings... but the more I think during sex, the more removed and distant I become, and the less pleasure I feel. It's a vicious cycle.
13. I was surprised to discover that I'm an exhibitionist. Not so much sex in public, although i have done that incidentally (very drunk). But i love to show off. I get disappointed when the lights aren't on. But having no sight can heighten your other senses too, so whatever.
14. I was a stripper for a year. I mostly loved it, the attention, the dancing, the hedonism, the nudity. I found it empowering. I loved doing something that so many women couldn't bring themselves to do. I like being a rebel, a daredevil, progressive and liberated and self-confident. But I had to get out.... it was lessening my opinion of men. I was beginning to resent and dislike them. And even though my body was in great shape from all the dancing, I could feel the late nights and makeup and booze aging me. Keeping up a sexy, flirtatious and provocative facade for male stimulation while simultaneously holding up a protective barrier is emotionally exhausting too. Some of the things that guys will believe and tell you--half the time I felt like a therapist. I don't know how some of those women do it for years and years. It's got to be one of the hardest (if well paid) jobs in the world, both physically and mentally. But in the end the ups couldn't justify the downs.
15. I'd like to be grabbed and thrown against a wall, over a desk, hands held back, hair pulled, butt slapped and pinched. There is something incredibly erotic about being dominated and out of control. Wild. Animalistic. Sexy. Also it's a huge turn on and ego-stroke to feel the physical evidence of how desperately you can make another person want to possess you.
16. I had a threesome with one of my best girlfriends at the time and her boyfriend. I'd always been attracted to them both, but she instigated it. She told me she'd been having dreams about me, about suckling my nipples, about the three of us dressing up in skimpy lingerie. So we decided to live it out. We all got really drunk, played spin the bottle, I gave them a little striptease, then we spent hours in bed together. It was exciting and nerve-racking and adventurous, if a little complicated... it's hard to choreograph three bodies so that they all fit together well... you've got to be careful no one gets left out. She was the first and only woman I've gone down on. I liked it, but I wasn't very good at it--I had no idea what to do. Unfortunately women aren't taught how to give oral to a woman. I was able to access info about giving blowjobs to guys from an early age... magazines, internet, friends.... but the female anatomy, even though I'm familiar with my own and know how I like to be given head... it's totally different giving it to receiving it. I felt like I was traversing a whole new landscape. I'd like to try it again.
17. I was almost 18 when I lost my virginity. It was sudden and unexpected and intense. It didn't hurt at all, it felt great, but of course, I didn't come. I remember reveling in the feeling of being bruised and tender and swollen between my thighs for days afterward. I felt wanton and womanly. It was awesome.
18. I've found that sensations are usually more intense and thus the sex is better when I've been drinking. I don't know if it's because alcohol heightens the physical nervous system, somehow turns me on more, lowers my inhibitions or simply dulls my thought processes so that I think and worry less, but I tend to be my most sexual when I've had a few.
19. It turns me on if a guy talks dirty while we're doing it, as long as I'm in the heat of the moment. But I'm shy about talking dirty back. I worry about sounding corny or amateurish.
20. I like the idea of an open relationship. No rules, no restrictions or expectations. No chance of being betrayed or feeling guilty. Free love and sex, baby. Yeah. Rock 'n' roll. I know it's probably like communism, though - an excellent ideal in theory, but far from practical.
21. In contrast to #20, I also daydream about a man wanting me with all his being, not being able to live without me, wanting me above all others, forever, and not wanting to share me. Having that unique connection and chemistry. "Soulmate." If my soulmate exists, though, I don't want us to find each other until I've explored and experimented a bit more. Give me a few more years before I become traditional and respectable and settled.
22. I've been single for all my 23 years. I'm proud of being an independent woman who doesn't need a man to validate her own existence. But I do get lonely, a lot. It used to be that I craved sex like women crave chocolate or blokes crave beer. I had this empty, needy feeling in my pussy, this tingly irritating feeling all over my skin, that demanded cock and hands and a warm body. The cravings have subsided as I've gotten older. Now I mainly crave intimacy. I don't care about the sex so much as the companionship, the sharing of intimate feelings and the gentle touching and exploring, the connection. I just want to be able to lay next to a body and enjoy each other's physicality and personality. Is this all just a symptom of maturing?
23. I've been "the other woman." I always swore I'd never betray another fellow female like that, by taking what was hers. But I've discovered that values and morals and principles, like sexual appetite, are constantly in flux, changing and reshaping as your experiences expand and your needs evolve. I actually decided that I would have sex with this guy for my sake, and put myself first, instead of abstaining for her sake, and putting someone else first. It was selfish, but I knew that at the time. I consciously allowed myself to do the selfish thing for once. Was it worth it? Well, I don't regret it. Gosh, it was such a really interesting experiment... You should have seen the drastically different reactions I got from my friends. Some said "Go for it, he's the one in the relationship so he has to shoulder the responsibility, if he doesn't cheat on his girlfriend with you he'll just do it with someone else anyway, it's not your concern." Others were horrified and shocked that I was even considering it. They just thought that it was a sacrilegious, bitchy, treacherous thing to do. I can understand and agree with both points of view. But sometimes living a life that's politically correct and ethically proper and completely selfless is just not living much at all.
24. I've tasted my own menstrual blood. I got the idea from Germaine Greer. She is one of my feminist idols. I don't think it's a big deal... bodily fluids, that is... it really baffles and saddens me that people can be so uptight about what's only natural.
25. I no longer just have sex with anyone, anytime. I just went through about 15 months of self-inflicted celibacy. I've been waiting for something; I'm still waiting. I'm sick of having a good time, then feeling empty and lonely afterward. I want to discover that connection, something more fulfilling. I dunno, maybe I'm looking for love and romance. I've only ever fucked, never "made love." I definitely want to experience it one day... soon. But I'm scared. I'm scared I won't be able to let myself go... I'm scared if I do I'll let them down, or they'll let me down. And I'm scared I'll never find whatever it is I'm looking for.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
1. I'm an 18-year-old cis-gendered girl. I'm either unsure about my sexual orientation or find it impossible to put a word to it... I guess "fluctuating/developing" would be the best to describe it for now.
2. I take pride in the fact that other people have said I have the most perfect breasts they've ever seen.
3. I've only had one wet dream: I dreamed about masturbating with sex toys in front of my mirror.
4. I started masturbating during my early childhood years, probably about 7 years old. This was before I knew about sex at all--I just did it because it felt good.
5. One day I skipped science club after school just so I could go home and masturbate before my parents got home. I was in the fourth grade.
6. The first time I had an orgasm from another person was in a movie theater on Valentine's Day.
7. A few summers ago, I got involved with a guy who was already in a relationship. We messed around for about 2 months, but eventually I called it off. At the time, I didn't care at all that he had a girlfriend (who had no idea that he was cheating), but I felt awful after we stopped being involved with each other. It turns out the guy was hooking up with several other girls too.
8. I can trace my kinks/fetishes back to several occurrences in my childhood (like most other people with fetishes). That "a-ha" moment when I realized that I was into certain things because of things that happened throughout my life was one of the coolest feelings ever.
9. Very tall people are so arousing to me.
10. From my freshman to sophomore years in high school, I had a crush who eventually I became friends-with-benefits with. We would always make out in the woods, where I gave my first hand job. Eventually I gave him a blowjob, and for some reason we didn't talk for about 3 weeks after that. Things started up again and we hooked up for a while after that, but I eventually stopped answering his text messages and stopped talking to him in school. Now we're complete strangers, but I don't really care. He was pretty boring anyway.
11. I have had a huge crush on the same guy for a little over two years. Even through all the hook-ups with other people, I still hold my crush high above the rest. He happens to also be one of my best friends, which I sometimes worry could complicate things.
12. A few months ago I tried autoerotic asphyxiation for the first time, and it was one of the most phenomenal, euphoric feelings I've ever experienced. I finally understand why people go to great lengths to do that, like risking their lives.
13. I don't ever want to be pregnant, but I definitely don't want to go on birth control pills because I don't want all those extra hormones and chemicals in my body. This is really frustrating for me.
14. Two months ago I got a skin rash that could have possibly been an allergic reaction to latex. This was really upsetting for me not only because I might not be able to use normal condoms, but because I might not be able to wear latex fetish clothing at some point in my life.
15. I am into BDSM, as a dominant. I enjoy consensually inflicting pain on others as well as myself, tying others up, etc. Realizing that I was into this and that lots of other people are too feels really great, and I love having friends who I can talk about this with.
16. My first sex toy that I bought was a Wartenberg pinwheel.
17. Ive only had one submissive fantasy, involving my high school principal. The classic "naughty school girl" roleplay. Even though I've had this one submissive fantasy, I definitely dont consider myself a switch.
18. One goal of mine is to visit Pandora's Box in NYC, a famous BDSM space.
19. When I'm attracted to girls, it's usually very random. They're never really similar to one another. I guess I don't have one "type" of girl that I'm attracted to.
20. I fantasize about threesomes a lot.
21. One of my biggest fantasies is to tie someone up in my shower and drip candle wax down their body.
22. My greatest accomplishment will probably be finding attractive, leather-free bondage gear.
23. I make an effort to only hook up with people if they're vegetarian/vegan. As pretentious as that sounds, why would I want to make out with someone who eats gross animal products if I don't?
24. I'm afraid of losing my virginity somewhere boring. I want it to happen in some exciting situation.
25. I've recently started to become more-than-friends with the guy I mentioned in #11. One night he stayed over at my house while my parents were out of town, and we started getting intimate. Eventually I learned that he has a lot of similar kinks to mine, which is really awesome. I can't wait to take things further with him.
2. I take pride in the fact that other people have said I have the most perfect breasts they've ever seen.
3. I've only had one wet dream: I dreamed about masturbating with sex toys in front of my mirror.
4. I started masturbating during my early childhood years, probably about 7 years old. This was before I knew about sex at all--I just did it because it felt good.
5. One day I skipped science club after school just so I could go home and masturbate before my parents got home. I was in the fourth grade.
6. The first time I had an orgasm from another person was in a movie theater on Valentine's Day.
7. A few summers ago, I got involved with a guy who was already in a relationship. We messed around for about 2 months, but eventually I called it off. At the time, I didn't care at all that he had a girlfriend (who had no idea that he was cheating), but I felt awful after we stopped being involved with each other. It turns out the guy was hooking up with several other girls too.
8. I can trace my kinks/fetishes back to several occurrences in my childhood (like most other people with fetishes). That "a-ha" moment when I realized that I was into certain things because of things that happened throughout my life was one of the coolest feelings ever.
9. Very tall people are so arousing to me.
10. From my freshman to sophomore years in high school, I had a crush who eventually I became friends-with-benefits with. We would always make out in the woods, where I gave my first hand job. Eventually I gave him a blowjob, and for some reason we didn't talk for about 3 weeks after that. Things started up again and we hooked up for a while after that, but I eventually stopped answering his text messages and stopped talking to him in school. Now we're complete strangers, but I don't really care. He was pretty boring anyway.
11. I have had a huge crush on the same guy for a little over two years. Even through all the hook-ups with other people, I still hold my crush high above the rest. He happens to also be one of my best friends, which I sometimes worry could complicate things.
12. A few months ago I tried autoerotic asphyxiation for the first time, and it was one of the most phenomenal, euphoric feelings I've ever experienced. I finally understand why people go to great lengths to do that, like risking their lives.
13. I don't ever want to be pregnant, but I definitely don't want to go on birth control pills because I don't want all those extra hormones and chemicals in my body. This is really frustrating for me.
14. Two months ago I got a skin rash that could have possibly been an allergic reaction to latex. This was really upsetting for me not only because I might not be able to use normal condoms, but because I might not be able to wear latex fetish clothing at some point in my life.
15. I am into BDSM, as a dominant. I enjoy consensually inflicting pain on others as well as myself, tying others up, etc. Realizing that I was into this and that lots of other people are too feels really great, and I love having friends who I can talk about this with.
16. My first sex toy that I bought was a Wartenberg pinwheel.
17. Ive only had one submissive fantasy, involving my high school principal. The classic "naughty school girl" roleplay. Even though I've had this one submissive fantasy, I definitely dont consider myself a switch.
18. One goal of mine is to visit Pandora's Box in NYC, a famous BDSM space.
19. When I'm attracted to girls, it's usually very random. They're never really similar to one another. I guess I don't have one "type" of girl that I'm attracted to.
20. I fantasize about threesomes a lot.
21. One of my biggest fantasies is to tie someone up in my shower and drip candle wax down their body.
22. My greatest accomplishment will probably be finding attractive, leather-free bondage gear.
23. I make an effort to only hook up with people if they're vegetarian/vegan. As pretentious as that sounds, why would I want to make out with someone who eats gross animal products if I don't?
24. I'm afraid of losing my virginity somewhere boring. I want it to happen in some exciting situation.
25. I've recently started to become more-than-friends with the guy I mentioned in #11. One night he stayed over at my house while my parents were out of town, and we started getting intimate. Eventually I learned that he has a lot of similar kinks to mine, which is really awesome. I can't wait to take things further with him.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
1. I am a 21 year old fat cisgendered woman, and have never had sex with another person.
2. I thought I was a lesbian from when I was about 13 to 18 years old. In the eighth grade, I discovered that I had romantic feelings for a close friend of mine. The idea tormented me, but I ended up with the idea that I MUST be a lesbian. (Convenient, because boys didn't care for me too much.) Luckily, she ended up having feelings for me too. My first relationship and first kiss filled me with confidence. Making out was lovely and hot. After this relationship ended, I still stuck with the lesbian monicker, and came out to many people. Through high school, identifying as gay gave me something to be--an identity to align myself with. I found a good group of friends. I helped found our school's Gay-Straight Alliance. When people made rude comments to me, I found the strength to reject those comments through the identity I had forged.
3. Identity and sexual desires didn't really add up in this situation, though. I have been an active masturbator since I was about 8 or 9, and masturbate 2-3 times a week, on average. So, I was actively thinking about my sexual desires a lot. When I would try to imagine myself with women, or imagine women's bodies, I didn't really get much out of it. When I noticed that men turned me on, I repressed those feelings because they conflicted with my supposed identity. I did allow myself to fantasize about being a man penetrating a woman, and that's what I got off on a lot of the time. I don't consider myself a lesbian now, but I wouldn't completely rule out the possibility of having sex with a woman. Right now, I'm not going to go out of my way to seek that out, though.
4. Around the time that I started masturbating and before, I started becoming fascinated with penises. I wanted one. I still do, sometimes. Some of my earlier sexual fantasies involved having a penis and adorning it with things... I don't really know how to describe it besides that. When I discovered the internet, I also discovered that you could see penises on the internet. Oh no. I looked at this one picture of a man's penis and balls in a harness almost every time I was on the internet and my parents weren't around. I really liked the idea that you could constrict it and put it in things, perhaps even under clothing in public.
5. Among my other early sexual fantasies were medical procedures and ceremonial/tribal sex. For the former, I remember being absolutely intrigued by this building near where my mom worked--a urological doctor's office. I wondered what went on in there. I imagined fluids being collected, instruments being inserted, etc. I still think medical play sounds really, really hot. There's something about it that utterly thrills me. I also created a really elaborate culture/religion that I used in many of my sexual fantasies when I was little. The name of this culture escapes me, but the focal point of their religious activities had to do with highly ritualized sexual ceremonies in which one lost their virginity at a certain age, having a high priest/shaman impregnate all the women, etc. The practices were never set in stone, and I shifted and changed them around at will. I do remember that their "language" was simply our language but backwards, as in all the letters were reversed. One easy way to do it, I guess.
6. Up until the middle of high school, a lot of my sexual fantasies took place in an extensive fantasy world. Basically, I would imagine myself stopping time and venturing into this alternate reality that I was the controller of. There was some sort of backstory to this, where this mythological entity bestowed this power unto me, but this wasn't really important, and I have since forgotten the details. The major attraction of this world was a house that contained everything I could ever want in it. I could even step into this machine and change my physical body if I wanted to, and turn into a man. I could create people at will. (I never actually destroyed any people, but I guess I could have. I didn't really want to, though.) Some of my most elaborate fantasies took place there. Since this was my imagination, and money didn't exist, I could create complicated sex machines and medical apparatuses and wear any sort of costume that turned me on. (Later, when I got into doing drugs, I could even use this facility to "experiment" without completely messing my psyche up [which was ultimately what happened as I used more and more "real" drugs.]) Basically, what I'm saying is that imagination rocks, and it was a huge part of my sexual fantasies.
7. In the past few years, I've stopped going into my alternate reality because my sexual fantasies have started becoming about real people who exist in this world. When I was younger I felt incredibly guilty about thinking sexual thoughts about anyone "real", probably because I felt so unattractive and unwanted by real people. I have always been overweight and uncomfortable in social situations, and both of those things led to me not having many romantic encounters at all. Once I started being comfortable with my sexuality, though, I realized that there were actual people who I wanted to boink.
8. Around this time, I got into a really strange relationship with a guy. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing, but I could at least play along better than he could. He was 23, and I was 19 when we started dating, so this was pretty recently. I gave him his first kiss. I thought he was a virgin too, but he wasn't. He had met men from Craigslist to have sex with. When he told me that, I found it unsettling, but I couldn't really put my finger on why. I think I was drawn to him because he was so vulnerable, and I thought that he wasn't going to be able to dominate or control me in any sort of manner. I also was intrigued by him--I knew there were lots of dark and mysterious parts to him that I wanted to know. He was cute. Looked very inquisitive. Beautiful blue eyes and long long long red hair, about at his waist. He seemed absolutely freespirited, not caring whether other people thought he was strange. Intellectually stimulating. Mischievous, like some sort of mythological sprite or devil. I almost thought that because he was so vulnerable, he couldn't hurt me. I was wrong about that one. After he started being in and out of psychiatric hospitals, I started realizing it probably wasn't very healthy for me to be so obsessed with this boy.
9. We "dated" for about a month. It was kind of cute at this point. We snuggled a lot. He was always the little spoon. (He was stick-thin and tiny and such a little boy, so he wasn't going to be the big spoon.) I attempted to make out with him several times, but I just don't think he understood the concept. We talked about it. He didn't really get it. I liked being wanted by somebody, but I knew I wasn't getting what I wanted. Our one sexual experience happened when we locked ourselves in one of the study rooms in his dorm hall to cuddle, and I proposed that he should watch me masturbate. Throughout the experience, he kept on giggling, saying that he didn't know what he should do. I just wanted him to do something, ANYTHING but sit there paralyzed. He didn't touch me except for when he was told to, and not in a D/s way. He told me that it had been really hot, and that it should happen again sometime. I, frankly, felt dead. Horrible. I had finally found someone to share my sexuality with, and he was completely unable to reciprocate my feelings. I thought we had really understood each other, but we really didn't. Both of us have fairly similar personalities, and I realized that neither of us felt that we could open ourselves up to taking chances and being hurt. Neither of us wanted to make a first move because that would make us vulnerable. I didn't want to do anything to hurt him because I thought that he would go off and kill himself if I did something wrong. I ignored myself a lot in our relationship. I focused on helping him get better at the expense of my own mental stability.
10. After we broke up, I still had a very strong emotional and sexual attachment to him. For better or worse, we stayed friends. He ended up staying the object of my sexuality. During the relationship, I fantasized about him taking control--telling me he wanted to fuck me, being firm and dominant (but not forcing me to do anything I didn't want to). After we officially broke up, I started fantasizing about me being the one in control. Tying him up, fucking him senseless. Though he had never been in a relationship before, he had had sex with boys from the internet, so I thought about buying a strap-on and surprising him, even though I knew this would not be a good idea.. He had told me earlier in a particularly intimate conversation that the only sexual fantasy that he has ever had and continues to have is one of being raped and killed. He felt really guilty and embarrassed about that. I certainly didn't want to kill him, and I didn't want to do anything without his consent. I wanted to play it out with him, though. I wanted to make him moan. I wanted to show him that sexual experiences could be positive. I wanted to be the one giving him erections. It hasn't been that long since these fantasies stopped, and I still think about it sometimes.
11. Those fantasies got so intense that they bled into our friendship. I started not being able to interact with him without turning things into a sexual game. I would chide and berate him (jokingly) because it turned me on. If he would ask for things, I would deny him. In those awkward moments where we fell back into touching each other, I would tease him, only letting him get so close to me that he wanted more. I started realizing that, again, this was not healthy. I was playing a one-sided sexual game with someone who wasn't even aware of it. Though he acknowledged his feelings from time to time, I realized that I was manipulating him for my own sexual purposes. I decided to come clean. We sat in my car on a rainy day. It was summer- we had both been at our respective parents' houses, but came back to our college town to visit friends at the same time. After battling vulnerability and embarrassment, I told him what I wanted to do to him. It was extraordinarily hard to say the words, or to even articulate what it was I felt. I knew he wasn't the type of person who would just think I was a freak and leave, but I felt like that would happen. He said he was "flattered" and turned on, but was extremely hesitant to agree to anything. Ultimately, we decided not to experiment. We still talk about sex and tease each other. It drives me crazy. Not in a good way or a bad way, just crazy. I should probably cut that out.
12. I sometimes feel bitter about still being a virgin (non-voluntarily) at my age, but when I really think about it, me being a virgin just reiterates the fact that I'm just now learning to actually connect to other people, be confident, and let myself be vulnerable. I naturally find it challenging to connect with other people in general, so this barrier isn't just sexual. The times when my bitterness is at its worst are when I am comparing myself to my friends and I realize that they are all more "experienced" than me. I feel like they've lived more life than I have, though some of them are even younger than me. This is an ongoing struggle. Right now, I feel okay about it.
13. My experience of being a fat woman has influenced every part of my life, especially my sexuality. When I was younger I used to think I was doomed or forsaken or something. I grew up fat, and I continue to be fat. After many failed restrictive and disgusting diets of many colors, I realized that it was time for me to stop waiting until I was at a "normal" weight to live my life. This was very recently- I've been in this process of greater acceptance for about a year now. Once I started accepting myself, my sexuality really started blossoming. Now, I feel so much freer thinking about and experiencing my sexuality. I think one of the most radical things a fat person can do is to accept and love their body, and enjoy it in any way possible. That's what I'm trying to do. I want people to look at my body, realize that I am happy, and be challenged by that.
14. The porn I watch tends to be amateur porn. I really like watching men jerk off. I also really like watching them insert catheters or sounds. I also like the idea that the people doing the jerking off are real, and are actually getting off.
15. There's something about cum that is really hot to me. I don't particularly want to give blow jobs, or have semen in my mouth. The idea of that actually kind of turns me off. I like the idea of a man coming all over himself, or in and around my vagina. I like the idea that I could be the one to make a man cum.
16. I don't know if I really have a "type", but I do tend to like guys that are skinnier than me, for better or worse. It's rare when I see someone I find REALLY attractive. I like smart guys, but not ones that sit around and quote philosophers all day. I like long hair, defiance of gender norms, and glasses.
17. I don't really like the idea of someone going down on me. I think I'm kind of self-conscious about the way my body smells. It doesn't smell horrible, normally, but I am afraid my natural stench might upset someone else. My clitoris is also really sensitive- light touches and wetness tend to make it too sensitive. I use a lot of hard pressure above my clitoris when I masturbate- never on the head itself.
18. I tried playing with catheters a couple times. It wasn't as hot as I thought it was going to be, but it was still kind of hot.
19. I have not told anyone this before, but I really think it would be hot to be fucked by a dog. I am embarrassed by this because I am a strong advocate for animal rights and most people who work in this area probably would not find this kosher. I don't want to force a dog to have sex with me. To my understanding, sometimes they want to do it on their own. And I think that would be really hot. It probably will never happen in real life because, ethically, I am strongly for spay/neutering of animals, and neutered dogs tend not to want to fuck around so much. Cat and dog overpopulation is an issue, and so many animals need homes. I think that outweighs the fantasy in this case. I still like thinking about it, though.
20. I like to masturbate before I go to sleep. I have a lot of trouble falling asleep, and more times than not, it helps me along.
21. The only people who have seen me naked besides my sister and parents were a group of people I stayed with on a commune one summer. It was hot as hell outside, and one of the favorite activities on the farm was to venture down to the river and go swimming naked. At first I just wanted to skip that and go hole up in my bunk bed and read a book, but I eventually decided to go. I didn't feel ashamed at all. I was the fattest one there, and for once, I didn't feel like a complete freak. Everyone's bodies were really beautiful and real. I felt really free. We played naked Frisbee. It was great.
22. I like thinking about gay men having sex. The main focus for me is the man on the receiving end, and him being hard and dripping semen. (It sounds really weird writing specific sexual images out. The words are there, but they don't seem to accurately describe what it is I'm getting horny over.)
23. In terms of dominance and submission, I'd like to try them both. In either case, though, there absolutely needs to be consent. I don't want to do anything to anyone that they don't want me to do. In fact, the main factor of D/s sex to me is that both parties really WANT to be doing these things to each other. The submissive party WANTS to be slapped and fucked, and the dominant one WANTS to do the slapping and fucking. I would play out a rape scenario with someone if we discussed it beforehand--I don't think I could handle fucking someone while they are saying no or struggling, even if it was in a fantasy/play situation. If I was the dominant party, I would really get off knowing that my sub wanted me to deny him, wanted me to spank him, wanted me to tease him. I could only do this if I really trusted the other person.
24. I don't really have an interest in having one night stands--I want some emotional involvement going on. I think it's mainly that I don't find most people attractive--it takes someone really special and strange to catch my eye. I won't rule casual sex out. (If I ever go to Burning Man, especially.)
25. I tried to calculate a minimum number of orgasms I've had in my life a couple of times. I've been masturbating since I was nine, at the very very latest. At the very least, I masturbate once a week. I almost always orgasm. So, at the VERY VERY LEAST, I have had 624 orgasms. That sounds like a lot. That is a lot. And they don't ever get boring. :)
2. I thought I was a lesbian from when I was about 13 to 18 years old. In the eighth grade, I discovered that I had romantic feelings for a close friend of mine. The idea tormented me, but I ended up with the idea that I MUST be a lesbian. (Convenient, because boys didn't care for me too much.) Luckily, she ended up having feelings for me too. My first relationship and first kiss filled me with confidence. Making out was lovely and hot. After this relationship ended, I still stuck with the lesbian monicker, and came out to many people. Through high school, identifying as gay gave me something to be--an identity to align myself with. I found a good group of friends. I helped found our school's Gay-Straight Alliance. When people made rude comments to me, I found the strength to reject those comments through the identity I had forged.
3. Identity and sexual desires didn't really add up in this situation, though. I have been an active masturbator since I was about 8 or 9, and masturbate 2-3 times a week, on average. So, I was actively thinking about my sexual desires a lot. When I would try to imagine myself with women, or imagine women's bodies, I didn't really get much out of it. When I noticed that men turned me on, I repressed those feelings because they conflicted with my supposed identity. I did allow myself to fantasize about being a man penetrating a woman, and that's what I got off on a lot of the time. I don't consider myself a lesbian now, but I wouldn't completely rule out the possibility of having sex with a woman. Right now, I'm not going to go out of my way to seek that out, though.
4. Around the time that I started masturbating and before, I started becoming fascinated with penises. I wanted one. I still do, sometimes. Some of my earlier sexual fantasies involved having a penis and adorning it with things... I don't really know how to describe it besides that. When I discovered the internet, I also discovered that you could see penises on the internet. Oh no. I looked at this one picture of a man's penis and balls in a harness almost every time I was on the internet and my parents weren't around. I really liked the idea that you could constrict it and put it in things, perhaps even under clothing in public.
5. Among my other early sexual fantasies were medical procedures and ceremonial/tribal sex. For the former, I remember being absolutely intrigued by this building near where my mom worked--a urological doctor's office. I wondered what went on in there. I imagined fluids being collected, instruments being inserted, etc. I still think medical play sounds really, really hot. There's something about it that utterly thrills me. I also created a really elaborate culture/religion that I used in many of my sexual fantasies when I was little. The name of this culture escapes me, but the focal point of their religious activities had to do with highly ritualized sexual ceremonies in which one lost their virginity at a certain age, having a high priest/shaman impregnate all the women, etc. The practices were never set in stone, and I shifted and changed them around at will. I do remember that their "language" was simply our language but backwards, as in all the letters were reversed. One easy way to do it, I guess.
6. Up until the middle of high school, a lot of my sexual fantasies took place in an extensive fantasy world. Basically, I would imagine myself stopping time and venturing into this alternate reality that I was the controller of. There was some sort of backstory to this, where this mythological entity bestowed this power unto me, but this wasn't really important, and I have since forgotten the details. The major attraction of this world was a house that contained everything I could ever want in it. I could even step into this machine and change my physical body if I wanted to, and turn into a man. I could create people at will. (I never actually destroyed any people, but I guess I could have. I didn't really want to, though.) Some of my most elaborate fantasies took place there. Since this was my imagination, and money didn't exist, I could create complicated sex machines and medical apparatuses and wear any sort of costume that turned me on. (Later, when I got into doing drugs, I could even use this facility to "experiment" without completely messing my psyche up [which was ultimately what happened as I used more and more "real" drugs.]) Basically, what I'm saying is that imagination rocks, and it was a huge part of my sexual fantasies.
7. In the past few years, I've stopped going into my alternate reality because my sexual fantasies have started becoming about real people who exist in this world. When I was younger I felt incredibly guilty about thinking sexual thoughts about anyone "real", probably because I felt so unattractive and unwanted by real people. I have always been overweight and uncomfortable in social situations, and both of those things led to me not having many romantic encounters at all. Once I started being comfortable with my sexuality, though, I realized that there were actual people who I wanted to boink.
8. Around this time, I got into a really strange relationship with a guy. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing, but I could at least play along better than he could. He was 23, and I was 19 when we started dating, so this was pretty recently. I gave him his first kiss. I thought he was a virgin too, but he wasn't. He had met men from Craigslist to have sex with. When he told me that, I found it unsettling, but I couldn't really put my finger on why. I think I was drawn to him because he was so vulnerable, and I thought that he wasn't going to be able to dominate or control me in any sort of manner. I also was intrigued by him--I knew there were lots of dark and mysterious parts to him that I wanted to know. He was cute. Looked very inquisitive. Beautiful blue eyes and long long long red hair, about at his waist. He seemed absolutely freespirited, not caring whether other people thought he was strange. Intellectually stimulating. Mischievous, like some sort of mythological sprite or devil. I almost thought that because he was so vulnerable, he couldn't hurt me. I was wrong about that one. After he started being in and out of psychiatric hospitals, I started realizing it probably wasn't very healthy for me to be so obsessed with this boy.
9. We "dated" for about a month. It was kind of cute at this point. We snuggled a lot. He was always the little spoon. (He was stick-thin and tiny and such a little boy, so he wasn't going to be the big spoon.) I attempted to make out with him several times, but I just don't think he understood the concept. We talked about it. He didn't really get it. I liked being wanted by somebody, but I knew I wasn't getting what I wanted. Our one sexual experience happened when we locked ourselves in one of the study rooms in his dorm hall to cuddle, and I proposed that he should watch me masturbate. Throughout the experience, he kept on giggling, saying that he didn't know what he should do. I just wanted him to do something, ANYTHING but sit there paralyzed. He didn't touch me except for when he was told to, and not in a D/s way. He told me that it had been really hot, and that it should happen again sometime. I, frankly, felt dead. Horrible. I had finally found someone to share my sexuality with, and he was completely unable to reciprocate my feelings. I thought we had really understood each other, but we really didn't. Both of us have fairly similar personalities, and I realized that neither of us felt that we could open ourselves up to taking chances and being hurt. Neither of us wanted to make a first move because that would make us vulnerable. I didn't want to do anything to hurt him because I thought that he would go off and kill himself if I did something wrong. I ignored myself a lot in our relationship. I focused on helping him get better at the expense of my own mental stability.
10. After we broke up, I still had a very strong emotional and sexual attachment to him. For better or worse, we stayed friends. He ended up staying the object of my sexuality. During the relationship, I fantasized about him taking control--telling me he wanted to fuck me, being firm and dominant (but not forcing me to do anything I didn't want to). After we officially broke up, I started fantasizing about me being the one in control. Tying him up, fucking him senseless. Though he had never been in a relationship before, he had had sex with boys from the internet, so I thought about buying a strap-on and surprising him, even though I knew this would not be a good idea.. He had told me earlier in a particularly intimate conversation that the only sexual fantasy that he has ever had and continues to have is one of being raped and killed. He felt really guilty and embarrassed about that. I certainly didn't want to kill him, and I didn't want to do anything without his consent. I wanted to play it out with him, though. I wanted to make him moan. I wanted to show him that sexual experiences could be positive. I wanted to be the one giving him erections. It hasn't been that long since these fantasies stopped, and I still think about it sometimes.
11. Those fantasies got so intense that they bled into our friendship. I started not being able to interact with him without turning things into a sexual game. I would chide and berate him (jokingly) because it turned me on. If he would ask for things, I would deny him. In those awkward moments where we fell back into touching each other, I would tease him, only letting him get so close to me that he wanted more. I started realizing that, again, this was not healthy. I was playing a one-sided sexual game with someone who wasn't even aware of it. Though he acknowledged his feelings from time to time, I realized that I was manipulating him for my own sexual purposes. I decided to come clean. We sat in my car on a rainy day. It was summer- we had both been at our respective parents' houses, but came back to our college town to visit friends at the same time. After battling vulnerability and embarrassment, I told him what I wanted to do to him. It was extraordinarily hard to say the words, or to even articulate what it was I felt. I knew he wasn't the type of person who would just think I was a freak and leave, but I felt like that would happen. He said he was "flattered" and turned on, but was extremely hesitant to agree to anything. Ultimately, we decided not to experiment. We still talk about sex and tease each other. It drives me crazy. Not in a good way or a bad way, just crazy. I should probably cut that out.
12. I sometimes feel bitter about still being a virgin (non-voluntarily) at my age, but when I really think about it, me being a virgin just reiterates the fact that I'm just now learning to actually connect to other people, be confident, and let myself be vulnerable. I naturally find it challenging to connect with other people in general, so this barrier isn't just sexual. The times when my bitterness is at its worst are when I am comparing myself to my friends and I realize that they are all more "experienced" than me. I feel like they've lived more life than I have, though some of them are even younger than me. This is an ongoing struggle. Right now, I feel okay about it.
13. My experience of being a fat woman has influenced every part of my life, especially my sexuality. When I was younger I used to think I was doomed or forsaken or something. I grew up fat, and I continue to be fat. After many failed restrictive and disgusting diets of many colors, I realized that it was time for me to stop waiting until I was at a "normal" weight to live my life. This was very recently- I've been in this process of greater acceptance for about a year now. Once I started accepting myself, my sexuality really started blossoming. Now, I feel so much freer thinking about and experiencing my sexuality. I think one of the most radical things a fat person can do is to accept and love their body, and enjoy it in any way possible. That's what I'm trying to do. I want people to look at my body, realize that I am happy, and be challenged by that.
14. The porn I watch tends to be amateur porn. I really like watching men jerk off. I also really like watching them insert catheters or sounds. I also like the idea that the people doing the jerking off are real, and are actually getting off.
15. There's something about cum that is really hot to me. I don't particularly want to give blow jobs, or have semen in my mouth. The idea of that actually kind of turns me off. I like the idea of a man coming all over himself, or in and around my vagina. I like the idea that I could be the one to make a man cum.
16. I don't know if I really have a "type", but I do tend to like guys that are skinnier than me, for better or worse. It's rare when I see someone I find REALLY attractive. I like smart guys, but not ones that sit around and quote philosophers all day. I like long hair, defiance of gender norms, and glasses.
17. I don't really like the idea of someone going down on me. I think I'm kind of self-conscious about the way my body smells. It doesn't smell horrible, normally, but I am afraid my natural stench might upset someone else. My clitoris is also really sensitive- light touches and wetness tend to make it too sensitive. I use a lot of hard pressure above my clitoris when I masturbate- never on the head itself.
18. I tried playing with catheters a couple times. It wasn't as hot as I thought it was going to be, but it was still kind of hot.
19. I have not told anyone this before, but I really think it would be hot to be fucked by a dog. I am embarrassed by this because I am a strong advocate for animal rights and most people who work in this area probably would not find this kosher. I don't want to force a dog to have sex with me. To my understanding, sometimes they want to do it on their own. And I think that would be really hot. It probably will never happen in real life because, ethically, I am strongly for spay/neutering of animals, and neutered dogs tend not to want to fuck around so much. Cat and dog overpopulation is an issue, and so many animals need homes. I think that outweighs the fantasy in this case. I still like thinking about it, though.
20. I like to masturbate before I go to sleep. I have a lot of trouble falling asleep, and more times than not, it helps me along.
21. The only people who have seen me naked besides my sister and parents were a group of people I stayed with on a commune one summer. It was hot as hell outside, and one of the favorite activities on the farm was to venture down to the river and go swimming naked. At first I just wanted to skip that and go hole up in my bunk bed and read a book, but I eventually decided to go. I didn't feel ashamed at all. I was the fattest one there, and for once, I didn't feel like a complete freak. Everyone's bodies were really beautiful and real. I felt really free. We played naked Frisbee. It was great.
22. I like thinking about gay men having sex. The main focus for me is the man on the receiving end, and him being hard and dripping semen. (It sounds really weird writing specific sexual images out. The words are there, but they don't seem to accurately describe what it is I'm getting horny over.)
23. In terms of dominance and submission, I'd like to try them both. In either case, though, there absolutely needs to be consent. I don't want to do anything to anyone that they don't want me to do. In fact, the main factor of D/s sex to me is that both parties really WANT to be doing these things to each other. The submissive party WANTS to be slapped and fucked, and the dominant one WANTS to do the slapping and fucking. I would play out a rape scenario with someone if we discussed it beforehand--I don't think I could handle fucking someone while they are saying no or struggling, even if it was in a fantasy/play situation. If I was the dominant party, I would really get off knowing that my sub wanted me to deny him, wanted me to spank him, wanted me to tease him. I could only do this if I really trusted the other person.
24. I don't really have an interest in having one night stands--I want some emotional involvement going on. I think it's mainly that I don't find most people attractive--it takes someone really special and strange to catch my eye. I won't rule casual sex out. (If I ever go to Burning Man, especially.)
25. I tried to calculate a minimum number of orgasms I've had in my life a couple of times. I've been masturbating since I was nine, at the very very latest. At the very least, I masturbate once a week. I almost always orgasm. So, at the VERY VERY LEAST, I have had 624 orgasms. That sounds like a lot. That is a lot. And they don't ever get boring. :)
Sunday, January 23, 2011
1 I'm male and queer and 21.
2 I look and dress like a guy, but don't want to identify as a man, although I'm not against getting called a boy or a girl.
3 I'm mostly into girls, although I occasionally like cute guys and trans men.
4 Polyamory is where it's at! Well, for me at least it makes the most sense: I suck at getting jealous, I'm good at communicating, and I'm pretty good at thinking everyone is cute.
5 I've had sex with 8 people, but none of them were men of any sort. I've kissed more people than that, including one guy.
6 I don't drink or smoke or really get intoxicated in any way I can avoid. Sometimes it sucks I feel uncomfortable kissing or having sex with drunk people. I sometimes wish people didn't get drunk at all these different social occasions so we could finally kiss or something.
7 I identify as queer mostly because of my leanings toward poly. Having crushes on guys and trans guys is new to me.
8 Third wave feminism is the best kind for me, if you wanna vote/be on top/be submissive/be a sex worker/live your life how you feel, then do it and there's nothing wrong with that.
9 I'm pretty hot, but I've gotten used to it and kinda expect anyone I find attractive to find me attractive. Of course this isn't the case, and I now have a few really good friends who I have the hugest crushes on.
10 I'm so grateful for my roomie and my friend/crush who are always there to hear me talk about how I feel about sexuality and always have my back.
11 I'd like to think I'm good at communicating
12 I've always wanted to be part of a DP, although it's not something I'd know how to go about asking to take part in. I guess bluntly--that's how I usually ask.
13 I hang out with "radical" people most of the time, it's comfortable, but it throws me off when I explain my ideas about sex to people outside of that circle and they're surprised or confused or curious by things I've come to consider normal.
14 Until I get to know you very well, I'll be detached. You won't be able to tell by my behavior, though. I love giving affection and I'm really open to receiving it as well.
15 I'm pretty tall. I'm seeing someone right now that's taller than anyone else I've been with before. It's awesome.
16 I'm curious about being penetrated. I've played with my fingers but I have no idea how I'd handle anything more than fingers, although I'd be open to at least try...
17 I had great sex ed in high school compared to most of my friends. I read a lot about sex online as well. The first time I had sex, I'd read so much I felt as though I knew exactly what I was doing even though I didn't.
18 I wouldn't know what to do past making out if I ended up in bed with a guy. I hope if it happens they have the patience to let me know how we'd go about things.
19 I used to be into "pick up artist" stuff, but I really don't care for it anymore. I just do the whole "be yourself" thing and I have more fun and don't think like a sexist douchebag.
20 I really like going down on girls. I like to hear the moans, feel the twisting, having my chin wet and seeing how different things affect different people.
21 I had sex once without a condom. It wasn't that much fun.
22 I've wanted to be bisexual since high school. I'd like to think it's finally happening, but I'm not getting my hopes up too high.
23 I'm trying to reclaim the word slut, as a self-identified slut.
24 I don't masturbate that often unless I want to last long in sex I may have later that day/night or if I end up at home doing nothing for too long.
25 I totally have a thing for punk girls.
2 I look and dress like a guy, but don't want to identify as a man, although I'm not against getting called a boy or a girl.
3 I'm mostly into girls, although I occasionally like cute guys and trans men.
4 Polyamory is where it's at! Well, for me at least it makes the most sense: I suck at getting jealous, I'm good at communicating, and I'm pretty good at thinking everyone is cute.
5 I've had sex with 8 people, but none of them were men of any sort. I've kissed more people than that, including one guy.
6 I don't drink or smoke or really get intoxicated in any way I can avoid. Sometimes it sucks I feel uncomfortable kissing or having sex with drunk people. I sometimes wish people didn't get drunk at all these different social occasions so we could finally kiss or something.
7 I identify as queer mostly because of my leanings toward poly. Having crushes on guys and trans guys is new to me.
8 Third wave feminism is the best kind for me, if you wanna vote/be on top/be submissive/be a sex worker/live your life how you feel, then do it and there's nothing wrong with that.
9 I'm pretty hot, but I've gotten used to it and kinda expect anyone I find attractive to find me attractive. Of course this isn't the case, and I now have a few really good friends who I have the hugest crushes on.
10 I'm so grateful for my roomie and my friend/crush who are always there to hear me talk about how I feel about sexuality and always have my back.
11 I'd like to think I'm good at communicating
12 I've always wanted to be part of a DP, although it's not something I'd know how to go about asking to take part in. I guess bluntly--that's how I usually ask.
13 I hang out with "radical" people most of the time, it's comfortable, but it throws me off when I explain my ideas about sex to people outside of that circle and they're surprised or confused or curious by things I've come to consider normal.
14 Until I get to know you very well, I'll be detached. You won't be able to tell by my behavior, though. I love giving affection and I'm really open to receiving it as well.
15 I'm pretty tall. I'm seeing someone right now that's taller than anyone else I've been with before. It's awesome.
16 I'm curious about being penetrated. I've played with my fingers but I have no idea how I'd handle anything more than fingers, although I'd be open to at least try...
17 I had great sex ed in high school compared to most of my friends. I read a lot about sex online as well. The first time I had sex, I'd read so much I felt as though I knew exactly what I was doing even though I didn't.
18 I wouldn't know what to do past making out if I ended up in bed with a guy. I hope if it happens they have the patience to let me know how we'd go about things.
19 I used to be into "pick up artist" stuff, but I really don't care for it anymore. I just do the whole "be yourself" thing and I have more fun and don't think like a sexist douchebag.
20 I really like going down on girls. I like to hear the moans, feel the twisting, having my chin wet and seeing how different things affect different people.
21 I had sex once without a condom. It wasn't that much fun.
22 I've wanted to be bisexual since high school. I'd like to think it's finally happening, but I'm not getting my hopes up too high.
23 I'm trying to reclaim the word slut, as a self-identified slut.
24 I don't masturbate that often unless I want to last long in sex I may have later that day/night or if I end up at home doing nothing for too long.
25 I totally have a thing for punk girls.
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