01. I'm nineteen and I'm a virgin. That's probably not so strange.
02. I've never been kissed. That probably is.
03. I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend either, just in case there was any doubt.
04. I'm not unattractive, and I'm not prudish or afraid of sex. I'm not asexual, although I may have a lower sex drive than most people. I'm not sexually attracted to very many people at all, and I don't get crushes often, but when I am, when I do, it's overwhelmingly intense. There's this one boy I know whose very presence in a room can make me almost drunk. Drunk on lust and happiness and yearning. I'd love to just pin him to a wall and fuck him. Of course, he has a girlfriend and thinks I'm a bit of a weirdo.
05. The handful of people I'm attracted to are never attracted to me. I seem to have a bizarre magnetism for seriously creepy older men, though. When I was in high school, I had a (possibly mentally ill) quasi-stalker who brought me a bouquet of tulips on our third meeting. He had to have been at least forty. I also get hit on by shady characters at bus stops and such on a pretty regular basis.
06. I think the main reason I'm so sexually inexperienced is that I'm a romantic at heart and I want my first time to be somehow special. I'd like it to be with someone I love, or at least with someone I have a strong and genuine attraction to, and the opportunity just hasn't presented itself yet. Hell, I can wait.
07. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with strangers. It isn't a moral issue; it's my phobia of venereal disease.
08. The only shady bus stop character with whom I've ever actually been tempted to fool around was a gorgeous, curvy, blonde girl about my age wearing stockings with a pirate motif. She brought her face up so it was almost touching mine and told me I was beautiful. She was obviously high on something, though, and her breath was very strange-smelling, and I listened to common sense.
09. I've been masturbating since I was three or four. I didn't know that that's what I was doing until I was thirteen. I figured it out while reading a novel where a female character masturbates by rubbing her clit. I considered it a kind of massage and didn't associate it with sex.
10. My parents never gave me a birds-and-bees talk or anything, and I didn't have older siblings or friends to clue me in on stuff, so my early sexual education mostly involved scenes or pieces of information I happened across while reading.
11. I still don't usually think about having sex when I jill off. I think about flying through the air, or swimming, or about shapeshifting into a mermaid or a werewolf or something. Freud and Jung would have a field day with that last one, I'm sure. I'm turned on by the idea of metamorphosis.
12. There's this scene in the Miranda July movie, Me and You and Everyone We Know, where the main male character is talking to his buddy about how he and his wife used to love to sleep together-- not as in sex, but as in, they'd curl up on the bed and fall asleep in each other's arms. I would love to do that with someone I have a crush on, sometimes as much or more than I'd want to actually fuck them. I have daydreams about it all the time, imagining scenarios where, say, we're taking a road trip together and we stop at a motel and there's only one room with one single-person bed left and we have to sleep curled up with each other.
13. I think penises are really, really funny-looking, like weird mushrooms. I'm a little afraid that someday I'll be about to have sex with some guy, or give him a handjob or what-have-you, and he'll pull his dick out and I'll just bust up laughing and completely ruin the moment.
14. I don't have that problem at all with female genitals, maybe because I have them myself.
15. My first sexual/romantic crush was on my best (and only) friend in the fourth and fifth grades. I was very confused about the tingly, nervous way I felt whenever she was around. She got breasts really early, and once I somehow convinced her to let me feel around under her shirt, which made me feel a lot more tingly, a lot more nervous, and slightly guilty to boot.
16. I have had sexy dreams about Jesus Christ (the Christ being only to distinguish him from, say, Jesus, the Mexican guy who lives down the block). He always looks a little bit like the youth pastor at the church I went to until I declared myself an atheist at sixteen and told my parents that they couldn't make me go there anymore if I didn't want to. I'm not sure if this means that I'm attracted to Jesus/the youth pastor or just that I have some interesting unresolved issues with Christianity that my subconscious is trying to work out.
17. I like to wear soft or silky-textured shirts and dresses without a bra. The fabric rubbing up against my nipples feels...reeeeally nice. (I've got pretty small boobs, so I can get away with this.)
18. I find extremely intelligent people quite sexy, especially if they're also a little eccentric. If someone comes up with some unexpected piece of esoteric information or trivia in the course of a conversation, they instantly become more attractive to me.
19. I'm this tiny, shy, sexually inexperienced girl-- in most ways, I totally fit the stereotype of the naive ingenue who gets seduced by someone more worldly--but in my fantasies, I'm almost always the dominant one, someone who seduces others, who gets on top.
20. When I was seventeen, I broke my hymen on one of those reusable silicone menstrual cups.
21. I've had more crushes on fictional characters than on actual people. I think it might have something to do with the fact that people in books and movies are almost always much more eloquent than anyone ever is in real life (see #18). Characters who are space aliens or vampires or faeries or some other kind of not-quite-human humanoid or who undergo some kind of transformation are especially appealing (see #11).
22. I wish society wouldn't ridicule people for not having sex or shame them for having what's percieved as too much sex, or the wrong kind of sex. Everyone has different quirks and kinks and wants and needs and I think all the stigma surrounding most of them is completely ridiculous.
23. French kissing has always seemed a little bit gross to me.
24. I only masturbate two or three times a week, but I have an orgasm virtually every time. Sometimes more than one. I've gotten good at self-pleasure. This is all me and my hands and occasional...improvisation...with household items. I don't have a vibrator or any sex toys (that were intended as such).
25. I didn't know what dental dams were until today.
Monday, March 2, 2009
1. I love being “man handled” while doing it. Throw me against a wall and pull my hair, or get the hell out of here..
2. Though women totally get me hot (can drive myself crazy just THINKING about watching porn, looking at playboy, etc.) I have absolutely no desire to eat a vag.
3. The first time I slept with my ex I came twice. I thought for sure I would marry him. Didn’t happen.
4. The best orgasm I ever had was in the missionary position (weird, I know) right after my partner bit the shit out of my leg and broke skin.
5. I’m ridiculously wet just writing this list, and am taking pause to go fool around with myself.
6. The way into my pants is through my neck. Touch it, kiss it, brush my hair off it, whatever. My panties will drop like they are hot.
7. The first time a guy spanked me I stopped to think about it; and then asked him to do it again.
8. I’ve had my salad tossed, and while it felt AH-MAZING, I’m still grossed out by it.
9. I can’t separate physical from emotional and end up in devastating predicaments when I attempt casual relations.
10. I’ve slept with a Bolivian and an Asian. The Bolivian was way bigger, but the Asian was WAY WAY better at it, and by no means lacking in size as stereotypes lead us to believe.
11. I’m not insanely into receiving oral. Some say it’s because I haven’t had anyone do it right, but I think it’s that I just love being penetrated.
12. Nothing gets me fucking crazier in bed than playing “just the tip” until I can’t take it anymore and practically shove it in. I. Will. Go. Nuts.
13. I do enjoy giving head. I have a fantasy of fucking a guy, getting off him to suck it, and then climbing back on to finish the job. Unfortunately, I’d have to be having condomless sex for this to work out as I picture and don’t play that game unless I’m monogamous. Which I’m not.
14. My cherry didn’t pop until a year after I started having sex. The Bolivian got me. And he got me good.
15. My most hilarious semi sexual experience was meeting up with a bachelor party, joining them on their party bus, going to a strip club, and then making out/dry humping one of the bachelor’s on the stage (thankfully, it wasn’t the groom!!).
16. Once, when I was about 12ish, my mom walked in on me masturbating. With a pillow.
17. My ex’s mom walked in on us doing it on her dryer. I had just got done saying, “I thought this would be better.”
18. I have a tiny tiny scar on my back from when I was sitting on a bathroom sink counter and my partner “pushed” me into the basin and I hit the faucet. Extremely funny, but also kind of painful.
19. I think it would be really hot to do it in a high rise hotel, from behind, with my boobs pushed up against the glass.
20. I can fall asleep pretty much immediately after sex. Unless it is bad.
21. I had a pregnancy scare with my ex when our condom broke. Nothing we could do until the pharmacy opened the next morning and I could go get Plan B so we just sort of hung out. He asked if I was okay and I said, “Yes, just a bit scared.” He responded with, “You’re scared? What about me?” What about you, jackass???
22. I had a boyfriend that couldn’t get off no matter what we tried. It really did a number on my self esteem, and sex because a chore.
23. I wish I was adventurous in the real world as I am in my head.
24. I talk a big game, think an even bigger game, but am severely lacking in tangible sexual experience.
25. I think it is insanely interesting, sexually empowering, and awesome that almost every post on this blog is by a woman. YEAH!!
2. Though women totally get me hot (can drive myself crazy just THINKING about watching porn, looking at playboy, etc.) I have absolutely no desire to eat a vag.
3. The first time I slept with my ex I came twice. I thought for sure I would marry him. Didn’t happen.
4. The best orgasm I ever had was in the missionary position (weird, I know) right after my partner bit the shit out of my leg and broke skin.
5. I’m ridiculously wet just writing this list, and am taking pause to go fool around with myself.
6. The way into my pants is through my neck. Touch it, kiss it, brush my hair off it, whatever. My panties will drop like they are hot.
7. The first time a guy spanked me I stopped to think about it; and then asked him to do it again.
8. I’ve had my salad tossed, and while it felt AH-MAZING, I’m still grossed out by it.
9. I can’t separate physical from emotional and end up in devastating predicaments when I attempt casual relations.
10. I’ve slept with a Bolivian and an Asian. The Bolivian was way bigger, but the Asian was WAY WAY better at it, and by no means lacking in size as stereotypes lead us to believe.
11. I’m not insanely into receiving oral. Some say it’s because I haven’t had anyone do it right, but I think it’s that I just love being penetrated.
12. Nothing gets me fucking crazier in bed than playing “just the tip” until I can’t take it anymore and practically shove it in. I. Will. Go. Nuts.
13. I do enjoy giving head. I have a fantasy of fucking a guy, getting off him to suck it, and then climbing back on to finish the job. Unfortunately, I’d have to be having condomless sex for this to work out as I picture and don’t play that game unless I’m monogamous. Which I’m not.
14. My cherry didn’t pop until a year after I started having sex. The Bolivian got me. And he got me good.
15. My most hilarious semi sexual experience was meeting up with a bachelor party, joining them on their party bus, going to a strip club, and then making out/dry humping one of the bachelor’s on the stage (thankfully, it wasn’t the groom!!).
16. Once, when I was about 12ish, my mom walked in on me masturbating. With a pillow.
17. My ex’s mom walked in on us doing it on her dryer. I had just got done saying, “I thought this would be better.”
18. I have a tiny tiny scar on my back from when I was sitting on a bathroom sink counter and my partner “pushed” me into the basin and I hit the faucet. Extremely funny, but also kind of painful.
19. I think it would be really hot to do it in a high rise hotel, from behind, with my boobs pushed up against the glass.
20. I can fall asleep pretty much immediately after sex. Unless it is bad.
21. I had a pregnancy scare with my ex when our condom broke. Nothing we could do until the pharmacy opened the next morning and I could go get Plan B so we just sort of hung out. He asked if I was okay and I said, “Yes, just a bit scared.” He responded with, “You’re scared? What about me?” What about you, jackass???
22. I had a boyfriend that couldn’t get off no matter what we tried. It really did a number on my self esteem, and sex because a chore.
23. I wish I was adventurous in the real world as I am in my head.
24. I talk a big game, think an even bigger game, but am severely lacking in tangible sexual experience.
25. I think it is insanely interesting, sexually empowering, and awesome that almost every post on this blog is by a woman. YEAH!!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
01. One of my biggest fantasies is meeting someone and promptly fucking them. I don't want to know their name, and I don't want us to acknowledge each other ever again. However, I am too scared of casual sex to even conceive of attempting this.
02. While I identify as straight, I desperately want to seduce a woman. I desperately want to seduce a woman and fuck her in a car. I want to fuck her in a car, and then continue a short-lived affair that eventually involves a strap on because I am obsessed with my strap on.
03. I've only pegged a guy once, but I can't stop thinking about doing it again. The lead singer of one of my best friend's band squirms around and grabs his butt a lot when they perform, and I can't think about the music because I'm so preoccupied with thoughts of plugging his butt with my eight-inch prosthetic purple cock. My friend says to stay away from him because he's trouble, but I think his ass needs a deep dicking. From me.
04. It's really difficult for me to get wet. In fact, the times that I've genuinely felt that sensation people feel when they describe themselves as "hot" - that skin-burning twinge of desire and stimulation - I could probably count them on one hand. I don't know what's wrong with me because I desire sexual stimulation often while seldom having those physical indications that are supposed to accompany that desire. HOWEVER, giving head that gets a lot of response usually makes me pretty wet. I love doing a job well, and there's no better job than the one we call blow.
05. If my breasts are stimulated enough, I positively drip, and a guy could likely convince me to do just about anything by tweaking my nipples just right. Frankly, if my nipples are tweaked just right without any follow through, I'd probably walk outside naked and fuck a lamp post because it makes me so desperate and desiring. Unfortunately, most guys don't seem to tweak my nipples just right no matter how many times I show them or give them verbal encouragement.
06. I can't get off with anyone the first time we get frisky. It just never happens.
07. For the longest time, I was very, very scared to play with myself. I can remember being around five and fishing around in my pants, just familiarizing myself with my equipment like kids do, and I worried a lot that even that was "too close" to playing with myself. I imagined myself being interviewed on 60 Minutes somewhere down the road and feared they'd ask me if I touched myself. Being 60 Minutes, they would know if I was lying. (As an aside, I have no idea why I pictured myself on 60 Minutes.)
08. When I was six years old, I traced a dirty comic strip out of a Matt Groening book and gave it to a friend for Christmas. Her mom found it and told my first grade teacher, and my teacher had a conference with my parents. When my parents confronted me about it, I denied it and then hid in the dryer.
09. I saw some double-feature parody movie on Showtime or something about Tonya Harding and Lorena Bobbit when I was, like, eight years old, and I made a joke about it at the dinner table - something about being Lorena Bobbit and having thirty orgasms or something even though I had no idea what an orgasm was. My whole family just put their forks down and stared at me.
10. I gave my first blow job when I was fourteen years old in a car outside of the Family Fun Center. Some ten-ish year old boys and their older brother/baby sitter/something were getting into a car across the way and saw us and gave us the thumbs up.
11. At sixteen, I'd pose half-naked for this local store owner just to get discounts on clothes. I've never admitted this to anyone because I'm really ashamed of it, even though at the time I thought it was daring and mature.
12. I long to be seduced. I long for someone to put forth an effort to make a seduction. It never seems to happen. In my memoirs, I will not have any hot affairs to write about - at least not ones with cliched themes like being a naive student who spent much of her college career perched atop her (much older) professor's penis. This really disappoints me. If anything, I think my memoirs will include some sort of Demi-Ashton story - which would be fine if that weren't the only interesting affair I had to detail. Ugh.
13. I think I'm perceived as a little slutty because I'm really comfortable with my sexuality. Discussing sex and asserting myself sexually is a total non-issue. Truth be told, I've only slept with four dudes and one lady. All of them were in the context of a relationship, except for that high school lady experiment.
14. I want to be a Suicide Girl - in part because I finally feel really confident in the way I look but also because I love the thought of a bunch of strangers fantasizing about sticking it in my mouth.
15. One of my guy friends got really drunk, wrote a gratuitous sex poem about me, and then tried to force himself on me. It was easy to fend him off, but then we didn't talk for a year because he was too ashamed to apologize. When he finally did apologize, I was really quick to forgive him - for a lot of reasons, but one being that I secretly want him to do those things sober. Even though that was such a shitty thing to do in the first place and a shitty way to handle it, and even though the whole to-do hurt me a lot. I really wish he'd try that stuff sober, and knowing that the shame haunts him so much he never will, really disappoints me.
16. It's really easy for me to be sexually assertive with guys I'm not romantically interested in. In bed with them, I freely invite all sorts of things and boss them around the way I wish I could with boys I actually like because I don't fear their rejection.
17. I only date people whom I have a reason for breaking up with, going into the relationship. On some level, I likely don't want myself to be happy and enjoy self-sabotaging. Plus, when the relationship ends, I don't feel accountable because it was an inevitability. Then I wonder why my relationships have been wholly unsatisfying.
18. I'm really worried I'm never going to have sex as good as I did with my last partner. I kind of wish he and I could have all sorts of relationships and still secretly fuck on the side for the rest of our lives.
19. My sex life feels like it's been far too vanilla thus far. Sure, I've brought in the cuffs and crops, the masks and props, but I've barely fucked outside of a bed. And I'm wholeheartedly afraid of casual sex. I want to fuck so many guys, it's absurd - and why shouldn't I? I am a hot fucking piece of ass, and I am REALLY good in bed! - but I am so painfully afraid of casual sex. WHY AM I SO PAINFULLY AFRAID OF CASUAL SEX? My number of partners is far too low, and I'm completely convinced everyone is having more, better, interesting-er sex than I am.
20. I have no idea how to flirt or read men's signals. Subsequently, I find myself being the sexual aggressor much of the time, which involves a certain forwardness many men don't know how to deal with. I told a friend of mine I wanted him to finger fuck me blind (exact words), and his reaction was, "Jesus christ, that's blunt." Still, my sex life remains rather vanilla.
21. My co-workers tease me that one of my soon-to-be roommates has a big crush on me - which I don't think is the case but secretly relish because I like the idea of torturing a guy with desire. When I finally move in, I kind of want to intentionally prance around half-naked because I enjoy believing it makes him sexually frustrated.
22. Being a pro dom would make me ecstatic. God, I love bossing men around and making them beg and watching them squirm.
23. I really, really seldom get sex dreams. When I do, they're usually about family members. I've had a sex dream about almost every member of my immediate family. Sometimes, I've cum during the dreams and woken up from the sensation on a couch with a family member around - and I've been totally worried that they knew I was having a sex dream and worse, knew I was having a family-related sex dream. In my waking life, no one in my family gets me hot. In fact, I kind of hate most of my family. I don't know why I have these dreams or what they're supposed to mean.
24. In my earliest understandings of sex, I thought just moving your hips back and forth against something was "having sex", so I'd do it against different things and wonder what the big deal was.
25. I went through a really rough patch following a relationship that I chose to end. In fact, I got suicidal. I tried to tell my former partner about these feelings because I still felt emotionally open towards him, but he wouldn't take my calls and I wound up acting on the feelings. Then I held it against him for not being there for me and refused to talk to him. When I decided to acknowledge him again, I invited him over, exchanged three sentences, and then fucked him silly - twice. We're back to not talking. In fact, I've changed my number.
02. While I identify as straight, I desperately want to seduce a woman. I desperately want to seduce a woman and fuck her in a car. I want to fuck her in a car, and then continue a short-lived affair that eventually involves a strap on because I am obsessed with my strap on.
03. I've only pegged a guy once, but I can't stop thinking about doing it again. The lead singer of one of my best friend's band squirms around and grabs his butt a lot when they perform, and I can't think about the music because I'm so preoccupied with thoughts of plugging his butt with my eight-inch prosthetic purple cock. My friend says to stay away from him because he's trouble, but I think his ass needs a deep dicking. From me.
04. It's really difficult for me to get wet. In fact, the times that I've genuinely felt that sensation people feel when they describe themselves as "hot" - that skin-burning twinge of desire and stimulation - I could probably count them on one hand. I don't know what's wrong with me because I desire sexual stimulation often while seldom having those physical indications that are supposed to accompany that desire. HOWEVER, giving head that gets a lot of response usually makes me pretty wet. I love doing a job well, and there's no better job than the one we call blow.
05. If my breasts are stimulated enough, I positively drip, and a guy could likely convince me to do just about anything by tweaking my nipples just right. Frankly, if my nipples are tweaked just right without any follow through, I'd probably walk outside naked and fuck a lamp post because it makes me so desperate and desiring. Unfortunately, most guys don't seem to tweak my nipples just right no matter how many times I show them or give them verbal encouragement.
06. I can't get off with anyone the first time we get frisky. It just never happens.
07. For the longest time, I was very, very scared to play with myself. I can remember being around five and fishing around in my pants, just familiarizing myself with my equipment like kids do, and I worried a lot that even that was "too close" to playing with myself. I imagined myself being interviewed on 60 Minutes somewhere down the road and feared they'd ask me if I touched myself. Being 60 Minutes, they would know if I was lying. (As an aside, I have no idea why I pictured myself on 60 Minutes.)
08. When I was six years old, I traced a dirty comic strip out of a Matt Groening book and gave it to a friend for Christmas. Her mom found it and told my first grade teacher, and my teacher had a conference with my parents. When my parents confronted me about it, I denied it and then hid in the dryer.
09. I saw some double-feature parody movie on Showtime or something about Tonya Harding and Lorena Bobbit when I was, like, eight years old, and I made a joke about it at the dinner table - something about being Lorena Bobbit and having thirty orgasms or something even though I had no idea what an orgasm was. My whole family just put their forks down and stared at me.
10. I gave my first blow job when I was fourteen years old in a car outside of the Family Fun Center. Some ten-ish year old boys and their older brother/baby sitter/something were getting into a car across the way and saw us and gave us the thumbs up.
11. At sixteen, I'd pose half-naked for this local store owner just to get discounts on clothes. I've never admitted this to anyone because I'm really ashamed of it, even though at the time I thought it was daring and mature.
12. I long to be seduced. I long for someone to put forth an effort to make a seduction. It never seems to happen. In my memoirs, I will not have any hot affairs to write about - at least not ones with cliched themes like being a naive student who spent much of her college career perched atop her (much older) professor's penis. This really disappoints me. If anything, I think my memoirs will include some sort of Demi-Ashton story - which would be fine if that weren't the only interesting affair I had to detail. Ugh.
13. I think I'm perceived as a little slutty because I'm really comfortable with my sexuality. Discussing sex and asserting myself sexually is a total non-issue. Truth be told, I've only slept with four dudes and one lady. All of them were in the context of a relationship, except for that high school lady experiment.
14. I want to be a Suicide Girl - in part because I finally feel really confident in the way I look but also because I love the thought of a bunch of strangers fantasizing about sticking it in my mouth.
15. One of my guy friends got really drunk, wrote a gratuitous sex poem about me, and then tried to force himself on me. It was easy to fend him off, but then we didn't talk for a year because he was too ashamed to apologize. When he finally did apologize, I was really quick to forgive him - for a lot of reasons, but one being that I secretly want him to do those things sober. Even though that was such a shitty thing to do in the first place and a shitty way to handle it, and even though the whole to-do hurt me a lot. I really wish he'd try that stuff sober, and knowing that the shame haunts him so much he never will, really disappoints me.
16. It's really easy for me to be sexually assertive with guys I'm not romantically interested in. In bed with them, I freely invite all sorts of things and boss them around the way I wish I could with boys I actually like because I don't fear their rejection.
17. I only date people whom I have a reason for breaking up with, going into the relationship. On some level, I likely don't want myself to be happy and enjoy self-sabotaging. Plus, when the relationship ends, I don't feel accountable because it was an inevitability. Then I wonder why my relationships have been wholly unsatisfying.
18. I'm really worried I'm never going to have sex as good as I did with my last partner. I kind of wish he and I could have all sorts of relationships and still secretly fuck on the side for the rest of our lives.
19. My sex life feels like it's been far too vanilla thus far. Sure, I've brought in the cuffs and crops, the masks and props, but I've barely fucked outside of a bed. And I'm wholeheartedly afraid of casual sex. I want to fuck so many guys, it's absurd - and why shouldn't I? I am a hot fucking piece of ass, and I am REALLY good in bed! - but I am so painfully afraid of casual sex. WHY AM I SO PAINFULLY AFRAID OF CASUAL SEX? My number of partners is far too low, and I'm completely convinced everyone is having more, better, interesting-er sex than I am.
20. I have no idea how to flirt or read men's signals. Subsequently, I find myself being the sexual aggressor much of the time, which involves a certain forwardness many men don't know how to deal with. I told a friend of mine I wanted him to finger fuck me blind (exact words), and his reaction was, "Jesus christ, that's blunt." Still, my sex life remains rather vanilla.
21. My co-workers tease me that one of my soon-to-be roommates has a big crush on me - which I don't think is the case but secretly relish because I like the idea of torturing a guy with desire. When I finally move in, I kind of want to intentionally prance around half-naked because I enjoy believing it makes him sexually frustrated.
22. Being a pro dom would make me ecstatic. God, I love bossing men around and making them beg and watching them squirm.
23. I really, really seldom get sex dreams. When I do, they're usually about family members. I've had a sex dream about almost every member of my immediate family. Sometimes, I've cum during the dreams and woken up from the sensation on a couch with a family member around - and I've been totally worried that they knew I was having a sex dream and worse, knew I was having a family-related sex dream. In my waking life, no one in my family gets me hot. In fact, I kind of hate most of my family. I don't know why I have these dreams or what they're supposed to mean.
24. In my earliest understandings of sex, I thought just moving your hips back and forth against something was "having sex", so I'd do it against different things and wonder what the big deal was.
25. I went through a really rough patch following a relationship that I chose to end. In fact, I got suicidal. I tried to tell my former partner about these feelings because I still felt emotionally open towards him, but he wouldn't take my calls and I wound up acting on the feelings. Then I held it against him for not being there for me and refused to talk to him. When I decided to acknowledge him again, I invited him over, exchanged three sentences, and then fucked him silly - twice. We're back to not talking. In fact, I've changed my number.
01 i didn't tell the guy to whom i lost my virginity (at 18) that it was the first time until three days later. the sex was just okay; he was a little too much like a jackhammer for my taste.
02 i've been fucked by three different guys in the same dorm bathroom shower stall (spaced out over a few months).
03 i'm fixated on ass. specifically, my own. the guys i get with tend to be ass men, which is convenient!
04 i'm intrigued by bdsm in a passive way. i spent a few months involved with a spaniard who liked to be scratched all over and told he was a naughty boy, but i bite my fingernails, so it didn't work out so well.
05 when i'm not in a relationship, i masturbate almost every day. when i'm involved with someone, i wait for sex, because it makes orgasms easier and better.
06 i've had the best sex i've ever had high as a kite. it makes attention to detail shoot through the roof, and orgasms are earth-shattering.
07 i give very, very good head.
08 there are very few things i've refused to try upon request; taking a load in the face is one of them.
09 actually, i always have to stop porn before it gets to the money shot; it completely turns me off to see cum on someone's face.
10 ass-to-mouth is another hard no, and also an immediate turn-off in porn.
11 i got with a girl earlier this year, but it turned out i was more turned on by the idea of a woman being into me than actually having sex with her.
12 i've gotten off to gay (man-on-man) porn before; i generally only have the urge to do this when i come home drunk and horny.
13 i own a huge butt plug from a previous relationship, but i don't know that i'll ever use it again. even though i have no qualms about letting a guy fuck me in the ass, i still get shy when it comes to admitting i own a toy.
14 sex with the spaniard was very so-so, but having to learn a whole new set of vocabulary in spanish was sexy as hell.
15 i would really love to get with a guy with a shaved head. it seems absurdly hot.
16 i used to love having my hair pulled while getting fucked from behind, but then i cut it quite short and it's not as easy. that's pretty much the only thing i miss about long hair.
17 there are pictures floating out there of a 17-year-old me posing naked for my own camera. i sent them to my at-the-time boyfriend. i still kind of cringe when i think about them.
18 i've squirted a few times, but i've gotta tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be. it makes a total mess, you don't know that you're doing it at the time, and the orgasm is -completely- different, i guess because it's vaginal instead of clitoral. i strongly prefer clitoral (plus they're much easier).
19 over the summer i had sex just once with a good friend of mine from high school. we had always shared a kind of unspoken mutual attraction; it's really sad to me that it culminated in one afternoon of mediocre fucking. i think we were both hungover.
20 my favorite thing that i've been called during sex is a "tiger." i'm not a furry, i swear - coming from the right person, it was a huge compliment.
21 when i was first teaching myself to masturbate, i would always put on the postal service CD, give up. it was because a cute guy described it to me as "sex for your ears." i still can't listen to that album without getting at least a little bit horny.
22 i shaved all of my pubic hair once just to see, and ever since then i've been doing it regularly. it was all aesthetic until i got involved with someone this past december who knew how to eat pussy - then it makes a huuuuge difference.
23 i think guys who are really into tits are kind of childish.
24 after deflowering one, i think i am going to refuse to be with any more virgins. no thanks.
25 i would love to do a guy in the ass with a big ole strap-on, but what i really want is for him to want it so bad he brings it up with me.
02 i've been fucked by three different guys in the same dorm bathroom shower stall (spaced out over a few months).
03 i'm fixated on ass. specifically, my own. the guys i get with tend to be ass men, which is convenient!
04 i'm intrigued by bdsm in a passive way. i spent a few months involved with a spaniard who liked to be scratched all over and told he was a naughty boy, but i bite my fingernails, so it didn't work out so well.
05 when i'm not in a relationship, i masturbate almost every day. when i'm involved with someone, i wait for sex, because it makes orgasms easier and better.
06 i've had the best sex i've ever had high as a kite. it makes attention to detail shoot through the roof, and orgasms are earth-shattering.
07 i give very, very good head.
08 there are very few things i've refused to try upon request; taking a load in the face is one of them.
09 actually, i always have to stop porn before it gets to the money shot; it completely turns me off to see cum on someone's face.
10 ass-to-mouth is another hard no, and also an immediate turn-off in porn.
11 i got with a girl earlier this year, but it turned out i was more turned on by the idea of a woman being into me than actually having sex with her.
12 i've gotten off to gay (man-on-man) porn before; i generally only have the urge to do this when i come home drunk and horny.
13 i own a huge butt plug from a previous relationship, but i don't know that i'll ever use it again. even though i have no qualms about letting a guy fuck me in the ass, i still get shy when it comes to admitting i own a toy.
14 sex with the spaniard was very so-so, but having to learn a whole new set of vocabulary in spanish was sexy as hell.
15 i would really love to get with a guy with a shaved head. it seems absurdly hot.
16 i used to love having my hair pulled while getting fucked from behind, but then i cut it quite short and it's not as easy. that's pretty much the only thing i miss about long hair.
17 there are pictures floating out there of a 17-year-old me posing naked for my own camera. i sent them to my at-the-time boyfriend. i still kind of cringe when i think about them.
18 i've squirted a few times, but i've gotta tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be. it makes a total mess, you don't know that you're doing it at the time, and the orgasm is -completely- different, i guess because it's vaginal instead of clitoral. i strongly prefer clitoral (plus they're much easier).
19 over the summer i had sex just once with a good friend of mine from high school. we had always shared a kind of unspoken mutual attraction; it's really sad to me that it culminated in one afternoon of mediocre fucking. i think we were both hungover.
20 my favorite thing that i've been called during sex is a "tiger." i'm not a furry, i swear - coming from the right person, it was a huge compliment.
21 when i was first teaching myself to masturbate, i would always put on the postal service CD, give up. it was because a cute guy described it to me as "sex for your ears." i still can't listen to that album without getting at least a little bit horny.
22 i shaved all of my pubic hair once just to see, and ever since then i've been doing it regularly. it was all aesthetic until i got involved with someone this past december who knew how to eat pussy - then it makes a huuuuge difference.
23 i think guys who are really into tits are kind of childish.
24 after deflowering one, i think i am going to refuse to be with any more virgins. no thanks.
25 i would love to do a guy in the ass with a big ole strap-on, but what i really want is for him to want it so bad he brings it up with me.
1. When I was 12 I tried to break my hymen by inserting the end of a curtain rod repeatedly into my vagina while I lay, legs pronged open on the tiles of my parents' bathroom floor and. I pushed it up so high I must have bruised my cervix, but I wasn't aware - I thought that was my hymen.
2. I lost my virginity at 13 to my 16 year old boyfriend. I'll always remember the posters of Kurt Cobain and the 'I Believe' UFO posters that hung around on his wall. It didn't hurt a bit and I walked home in my school uniform, feeling alive.
3. I first had anal sex when I was 15 to my 21 year old boyfriend at the time in the back of his car to a soundtrack of Led Zeppelin and The Police. It hurt a lot - but no one has ever made me come so much and so hard ever since.
4. When I was 14 I fell in love with a girl at school who hung with a completely different crowd, even though we spent exorbitant amounts of time with each other (much to the bemusement of everyone else). One night I invited her to my place for a sleepover and tried to touch her when we were both lying in bed. She let me kiss her neck and caress her breasts, but when I tried to go further south she told me to stop. Our friendship ended there, abruptly. I always wondered if she felt the same way.
5. I have slept with 22 people; a number greater than my age.
6. I once had an older boyfriend who was very attractive and took great pride in his appearance. I could never put my finger on it, but there was always something there that didn't sit right with me, something I initially tried to ignore that eventually repulsed me. It was only till later that I realised that every time we had sex I felt like I was fucking my father.
7. I started watching porn when I was very young, I guess I was around 10. I discovered tapes and magazines in my father's draw and the internet wasn't as censored as it is nowadays.
8. I became an expert at drawing hentai and used to lie on the floor, drawing graphic lesbian hentai scenes, with my parents in the background, watching the nightly news program. Of course, they never actually saw what I drew.
9. The first time I ever gave a boy oral sex was when I was 15. I had no idea what I was doing and I accidentally bit his cock till it bled, I mistook his groans of pain for pleasure.
10. At age 16 I had my first bondage experience. My boyfriend at the time had me handcuffed, blindfolded and gagged in his bedroom; his mother accidentally walked in, asking if I'd like to stay for dinner.
11. I orgasmed at a David Bowie concert from sheer excitement. I've been a longtime fan since childhood, and just being in his presence was more than enough to get me off.
12. I love the smell of a boy's unwashed scalp. Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm giving head massages, but really I'm just scraping remnants of their scent onto my fingers, so I can smell it later.
13. I like to be fucked till it hurts.
14. I find androgyny incredibly erotic. Effeminate men and masculine women appeal to me much more than the status quo.
15. I once found a handful of vibrators in my mother's underwear drawer. One evening, when the family was out for dinner I tested every single one of them on me - until I came from each one.
16. Something about fitness turns me on. There's nothing like being hot and sweaty after a run.
17. I have a thing for openly gay men. Obviously, the arousal would never be requited but there's something so taboo venturing there, when something is so clear cut and defined.
18. I do kegels every day. During sex, I contract my muscles so I can control my orgasm, and my partner's orgasm; sometimes, I squeeze them so hard that it hurts.
19. If I wasn't from such a good family, I'd probably consider high-class prostitution as a part-time career. I have an enviable ability to disconnect my emotions from my surroundings, and I love casual sex.
20. Sometimes, when I'm bored on public transport I'll let my eyes wander to any ordinary looking male or female sitting nearby. Then, I'll let my imagination wander and picture masochistic scenes of me shoving various sex toys into their orifices.
21. I enjoy singing whilst I have sex. I have a good choir voice, and for me it heightens the experience.
22. I remembered being 12, when men were just starting to take notice of my developing figure. In my fantasies, I'd imagine the greasiest, oldest, smelliest man would take me into a public toilet and show me the anatomy of the male form.
23. I keep a catalogue of photographs of everyone I've ever slept with or kissed. Sometimes, when I'm lonely I'll look through all the pictures and try to remember what their genitalia looked like.
24. Although I'm loving and affectionate and fully capable of maintaining a long-standing, monogamous relationship I'd like to sleep with as many people as possible. I enjoy the gritty anonymity of a one night stand.
25. I've always found it difficult to watch films about the Hitler youth or the Nazi movement at large because one of my most frequent fantasies is to be gangbanged by Nazis. Something about their assembly-line, stoic, unforgiving, inhumane nature and that extremely well-tailored uniform and swept hairstyle.
2. I lost my virginity at 13 to my 16 year old boyfriend. I'll always remember the posters of Kurt Cobain and the 'I Believe' UFO posters that hung around on his wall. It didn't hurt a bit and I walked home in my school uniform, feeling alive.
3. I first had anal sex when I was 15 to my 21 year old boyfriend at the time in the back of his car to a soundtrack of Led Zeppelin and The Police. It hurt a lot - but no one has ever made me come so much and so hard ever since.
4. When I was 14 I fell in love with a girl at school who hung with a completely different crowd, even though we spent exorbitant amounts of time with each other (much to the bemusement of everyone else). One night I invited her to my place for a sleepover and tried to touch her when we were both lying in bed. She let me kiss her neck and caress her breasts, but when I tried to go further south she told me to stop. Our friendship ended there, abruptly. I always wondered if she felt the same way.
5. I have slept with 22 people; a number greater than my age.
6. I once had an older boyfriend who was very attractive and took great pride in his appearance. I could never put my finger on it, but there was always something there that didn't sit right with me, something I initially tried to ignore that eventually repulsed me. It was only till later that I realised that every time we had sex I felt like I was fucking my father.
7. I started watching porn when I was very young, I guess I was around 10. I discovered tapes and magazines in my father's draw and the internet wasn't as censored as it is nowadays.
8. I became an expert at drawing hentai and used to lie on the floor, drawing graphic lesbian hentai scenes, with my parents in the background, watching the nightly news program. Of course, they never actually saw what I drew.
9. The first time I ever gave a boy oral sex was when I was 15. I had no idea what I was doing and I accidentally bit his cock till it bled, I mistook his groans of pain for pleasure.
10. At age 16 I had my first bondage experience. My boyfriend at the time had me handcuffed, blindfolded and gagged in his bedroom; his mother accidentally walked in, asking if I'd like to stay for dinner.
11. I orgasmed at a David Bowie concert from sheer excitement. I've been a longtime fan since childhood, and just being in his presence was more than enough to get me off.
12. I love the smell of a boy's unwashed scalp. Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm giving head massages, but really I'm just scraping remnants of their scent onto my fingers, so I can smell it later.
13. I like to be fucked till it hurts.
14. I find androgyny incredibly erotic. Effeminate men and masculine women appeal to me much more than the status quo.
15. I once found a handful of vibrators in my mother's underwear drawer. One evening, when the family was out for dinner I tested every single one of them on me - until I came from each one.
16. Something about fitness turns me on. There's nothing like being hot and sweaty after a run.
17. I have a thing for openly gay men. Obviously, the arousal would never be requited but there's something so taboo venturing there, when something is so clear cut and defined.
18. I do kegels every day. During sex, I contract my muscles so I can control my orgasm, and my partner's orgasm; sometimes, I squeeze them so hard that it hurts.
19. If I wasn't from such a good family, I'd probably consider high-class prostitution as a part-time career. I have an enviable ability to disconnect my emotions from my surroundings, and I love casual sex.
20. Sometimes, when I'm bored on public transport I'll let my eyes wander to any ordinary looking male or female sitting nearby. Then, I'll let my imagination wander and picture masochistic scenes of me shoving various sex toys into their orifices.
21. I enjoy singing whilst I have sex. I have a good choir voice, and for me it heightens the experience.
22. I remembered being 12, when men were just starting to take notice of my developing figure. In my fantasies, I'd imagine the greasiest, oldest, smelliest man would take me into a public toilet and show me the anatomy of the male form.
23. I keep a catalogue of photographs of everyone I've ever slept with or kissed. Sometimes, when I'm lonely I'll look through all the pictures and try to remember what their genitalia looked like.
24. Although I'm loving and affectionate and fully capable of maintaining a long-standing, monogamous relationship I'd like to sleep with as many people as possible. I enjoy the gritty anonymity of a one night stand.
25. I've always found it difficult to watch films about the Hitler youth or the Nazi movement at large because one of my most frequent fantasies is to be gangbanged by Nazis. Something about their assembly-line, stoic, unforgiving, inhumane nature and that extremely well-tailored uniform and swept hairstyle.
1. I learned the facts of life before kindergarten from a 70s encyclopedia of physical development. I found it in a cardboard box of old books at home, and it had plenty of diagrams. It wasn't morally motivated and just explained things clearly.
2. When I was five, there was a boy at school that I'd kiss during lunch. I punched people who made fun of us for it, then he moved schools. We'd go to each other's houses, climb under the bed and kiss and cuddle really quietly so no one would find us. I met him again when we were 11. We climbed back under the bed like old times.
3. I discovered internet porn when I was 14. The pornographic texts or chatrooms turned me on far more than pictures. Bondage stories were my favourite. I used to tie silk neckties round the arms of my chair and around the legs, so I could tie myself down while I read. Plus, I could leave the ties there without it looking too conspicuous.
4. When I was 14, the only physical stimulation I needed was to trace a line from behind my ear and down the side of my neck. It was such a rush.
5. I'm still a virgin at 19, and happy with that.
6. My older brother was openly homosexual and taught me how to protect myself against assault with martial arts and prevention strategies. He told me all about his experiences, good and bad, with men. I learned many things from him. Fear of men was one of them.
7. I'd love to explore foodplay.
8. I used to find my labia freakishly strange for years. Simplistic diagrams failed to adequately describe them. I was reassured later by photos of non-porn-star vaginas.
9. The night of my 15th birthday, my 19 year old boyfriend climbed into bed on top of me and started to kiss me deeply. I got shaky, scared what he was going to do, and pushed him away. He smiled and just kissed me softly. I never saw him after the next morning. We broke up via email.
10. I dated a guy for three years. We'd make out in the rain after midnight, suck caramel off each other's skin, and a kiss for every arrival or departure. I ran away from the relationship when it got serious with meeting parents and talk of moving in together. We met up again recently and spent the night on the sofa. The thought of his touch still makes me catch my breath.
11. I experimented with masturbation with little success, electric toothbrush, thick markers, etc. Physical stimulation was never as good as the thought of it. I'd fall asleep lost in fantasy.
12. I would put a jumper over a pillow and cuddle into it at night, just so I could imagine myself falling asleep in his arms. I never fell asleep in his arms. We never slept when we were together. Felt like a really prolonged and sensual affair.
13. He never complained about anything I did. I didn't want to have sex? We'd spend hours entwined in each other.
14. I still feel threatened by penetrative sex.
15. I love spending time alone together, no talking, just sensual exploration.
16. The cat would climb into bed with me and sit right between my legs. I'd pet her in just the right place to get her purring loudly. She was a good vibrator.
17. When I was 19, I was sexually assaulted on an overnight train. I had a window seat and the man next to me was persistently stroking me and leaning in to kiss me. I'd wake up with him breathing on me, his hand inching over my leg. I spent 5 hours of the trip pushing him to his seat and audibly telling him to fuck off. Eventually I got the assistance of the train staff and was relocated. It seems so stupid in retrospect, that I should have acted sooner. I guess I was hoping someone sitting near would notice and defend me while I slept. I called a friend at 2am, she talked me through my shakiness.
18. After the assault, masturbation worked. I was masturbating virtually every night for months. My first orgasm was during this. Clitoral stimulation, then then a short porn video to get me to climax. It was always with the aim of just getting to climax so it would be over. I'd fall asleep with my mind racing and glad it was over and done with for the night so I could sleep.
19. I'd always been scared of rape, but after the assault, I was scared of anyone getting near me. Before, I'd be flirting and happy to be touched. Afterwards, any male interest just made my blood run cold.
20. I get off on authority figures with young girls. I wonder if it's something I've always liked or if I'm reacting to the assault. I get disgusted by myself having pervy-old-man interests. This is part of the thought process of wanting my climax over and done with.
21. My sexuality used to excite me, all the possibilities with someone I loved. Now it horrifies me, just makes me think of chemicals in the brain and the animal desire that leads a man to see me as his sexual object. I can't keep control of it and it scares me.
22. The one I love at the moment is a girl. I'd never considered bisexuality, but I love her. I don't want my sexual decisions dictated by reaction to trauma, and I fear that my whole emotional development is just reaction, but I love her more than any man who'd lavish me with kisses and adoration.
23. I need to learn to love again, not just taking advantage of mutually compatible hormones for sensual fun.
24. I love my body more than ever now. It's in great shape and has grown into womanly proportions so I can dress it up in all sorts of saucy clothes.
25. I look forward to all the sexual adventures life has in store for me. Despite my fears, I know I have people who love me and will support me. I want this confidence in love to be my foundation in future relationships.
2. When I was five, there was a boy at school that I'd kiss during lunch. I punched people who made fun of us for it, then he moved schools. We'd go to each other's houses, climb under the bed and kiss and cuddle really quietly so no one would find us. I met him again when we were 11. We climbed back under the bed like old times.
3. I discovered internet porn when I was 14. The pornographic texts or chatrooms turned me on far more than pictures. Bondage stories were my favourite. I used to tie silk neckties round the arms of my chair and around the legs, so I could tie myself down while I read. Plus, I could leave the ties there without it looking too conspicuous.
4. When I was 14, the only physical stimulation I needed was to trace a line from behind my ear and down the side of my neck. It was such a rush.
5. I'm still a virgin at 19, and happy with that.
6. My older brother was openly homosexual and taught me how to protect myself against assault with martial arts and prevention strategies. He told me all about his experiences, good and bad, with men. I learned many things from him. Fear of men was one of them.
7. I'd love to explore foodplay.
8. I used to find my labia freakishly strange for years. Simplistic diagrams failed to adequately describe them. I was reassured later by photos of non-porn-star vaginas.
9. The night of my 15th birthday, my 19 year old boyfriend climbed into bed on top of me and started to kiss me deeply. I got shaky, scared what he was going to do, and pushed him away. He smiled and just kissed me softly. I never saw him after the next morning. We broke up via email.
10. I dated a guy for three years. We'd make out in the rain after midnight, suck caramel off each other's skin, and a kiss for every arrival or departure. I ran away from the relationship when it got serious with meeting parents and talk of moving in together. We met up again recently and spent the night on the sofa. The thought of his touch still makes me catch my breath.
11. I experimented with masturbation with little success, electric toothbrush, thick markers, etc. Physical stimulation was never as good as the thought of it. I'd fall asleep lost in fantasy.
12. I would put a jumper over a pillow and cuddle into it at night, just so I could imagine myself falling asleep in his arms. I never fell asleep in his arms. We never slept when we were together. Felt like a really prolonged and sensual affair.
13. He never complained about anything I did. I didn't want to have sex? We'd spend hours entwined in each other.
14. I still feel threatened by penetrative sex.
15. I love spending time alone together, no talking, just sensual exploration.
16. The cat would climb into bed with me and sit right between my legs. I'd pet her in just the right place to get her purring loudly. She was a good vibrator.
17. When I was 19, I was sexually assaulted on an overnight train. I had a window seat and the man next to me was persistently stroking me and leaning in to kiss me. I'd wake up with him breathing on me, his hand inching over my leg. I spent 5 hours of the trip pushing him to his seat and audibly telling him to fuck off. Eventually I got the assistance of the train staff and was relocated. It seems so stupid in retrospect, that I should have acted sooner. I guess I was hoping someone sitting near would notice and defend me while I slept. I called a friend at 2am, she talked me through my shakiness.
18. After the assault, masturbation worked. I was masturbating virtually every night for months. My first orgasm was during this. Clitoral stimulation, then then a short porn video to get me to climax. It was always with the aim of just getting to climax so it would be over. I'd fall asleep with my mind racing and glad it was over and done with for the night so I could sleep.
19. I'd always been scared of rape, but after the assault, I was scared of anyone getting near me. Before, I'd be flirting and happy to be touched. Afterwards, any male interest just made my blood run cold.
20. I get off on authority figures with young girls. I wonder if it's something I've always liked or if I'm reacting to the assault. I get disgusted by myself having pervy-old-man interests. This is part of the thought process of wanting my climax over and done with.
21. My sexuality used to excite me, all the possibilities with someone I loved. Now it horrifies me, just makes me think of chemicals in the brain and the animal desire that leads a man to see me as his sexual object. I can't keep control of it and it scares me.
22. The one I love at the moment is a girl. I'd never considered bisexuality, but I love her. I don't want my sexual decisions dictated by reaction to trauma, and I fear that my whole emotional development is just reaction, but I love her more than any man who'd lavish me with kisses and adoration.
23. I need to learn to love again, not just taking advantage of mutually compatible hormones for sensual fun.
24. I love my body more than ever now. It's in great shape and has grown into womanly proportions so I can dress it up in all sorts of saucy clothes.
25. I look forward to all the sexual adventures life has in store for me. Despite my fears, I know I have people who love me and will support me. I want this confidence in love to be my foundation in future relationships.
1. I often fantasize about having sex with people I'm not even attracted to.
2. One of my ex-boyfriends once almost bit my left nipple off. It took 3 weeks to heal.
3. I've tried every single position in the kama sutra. My favorite position is still doggy, but it's really hard to choose between all the positions.
4. I've faked every single one of my orgasms. I can only orgasm when I masturbate. Despite this, I love sex, even without the big-o's.
5. The first time I masturbated I was in kindergarten, and I got caught by the teachers. I've been doing it very often since I was a little girl, till present day.
6. I am extremely turned on by the idea of anal sex and double penetration, but it's too painful for me to do it in real life. The few times I did have it, I couldn't sit for a week.
7. I'm extremely turned on by spanking, being dominated, and tied up. I love feeling vulnerable.
8. I've had fantasies about girls but I don't think I can ever have sex with females.
9. The sight of huge dicks turns me on, but I prefer regular sized ones. I had to break up with a boyfriend because his dick was too big and hurting me.
10. I've had sex with 14 people, all of them men. I lost count of how many dicks I've sucked.
11. I've walked out mid-sex on two people because I just wasn't turned on anymore.
12. When I was little, I thought I was going to be a virgin forever. I lost my virginity at 17 and I havent lasted more than a month or so since then without sex.
13. Before I graduated, I had sex in every single room I had class in. I have a fetish for public sex.
14. I like the idea of being watched during sex, but am too shy to actually do it.
15. I think I would look terrible during sex, and have therefore refused all requests to make tapes.
16. I don't actually enjoy guys going down on me. I always wonder if I taste terrible, even if they love it and tell me I taste great.
17. I love going down on men. I love seeing them cum and swallowing them. But I can't imagine going down on women.
18. In first year college I made a vow to not sleep with more than a set number of people. But realizing that I like sex way too much, I started recycling my partners and finding fuck buddies.
19. I once slept with 3 people within 24 hours.
20. I have a rape fantasy where I'm captured and brutally raped while someone is watching.
21. I do not own any sex toys. Though I'm seriously considering buying one now because I'm in a serious but long distance relationship. Recently I've been using vegetables.
22. I love being titty fucked and choked at the same time.
23. Someone once blackmailed me into having sex with him because he threatened to tell my then-boyfriend I cheated on him with some guy.
24. I was raped, twice. I'm not too traumatized by it though, for some reason. But no, I definitely did not enjoy the experiences.
25. The most times I've had sex is 11 times a day.
2. One of my ex-boyfriends once almost bit my left nipple off. It took 3 weeks to heal.
3. I've tried every single position in the kama sutra. My favorite position is still doggy, but it's really hard to choose between all the positions.
4. I've faked every single one of my orgasms. I can only orgasm when I masturbate. Despite this, I love sex, even without the big-o's.
5. The first time I masturbated I was in kindergarten, and I got caught by the teachers. I've been doing it very often since I was a little girl, till present day.
6. I am extremely turned on by the idea of anal sex and double penetration, but it's too painful for me to do it in real life. The few times I did have it, I couldn't sit for a week.
7. I'm extremely turned on by spanking, being dominated, and tied up. I love feeling vulnerable.
8. I've had fantasies about girls but I don't think I can ever have sex with females.
9. The sight of huge dicks turns me on, but I prefer regular sized ones. I had to break up with a boyfriend because his dick was too big and hurting me.
10. I've had sex with 14 people, all of them men. I lost count of how many dicks I've sucked.
11. I've walked out mid-sex on two people because I just wasn't turned on anymore.
12. When I was little, I thought I was going to be a virgin forever. I lost my virginity at 17 and I havent lasted more than a month or so since then without sex.
13. Before I graduated, I had sex in every single room I had class in. I have a fetish for public sex.
14. I like the idea of being watched during sex, but am too shy to actually do it.
15. I think I would look terrible during sex, and have therefore refused all requests to make tapes.
16. I don't actually enjoy guys going down on me. I always wonder if I taste terrible, even if they love it and tell me I taste great.
17. I love going down on men. I love seeing them cum and swallowing them. But I can't imagine going down on women.
18. In first year college I made a vow to not sleep with more than a set number of people. But realizing that I like sex way too much, I started recycling my partners and finding fuck buddies.
19. I once slept with 3 people within 24 hours.
20. I have a rape fantasy where I'm captured and brutally raped while someone is watching.
21. I do not own any sex toys. Though I'm seriously considering buying one now because I'm in a serious but long distance relationship. Recently I've been using vegetables.
22. I love being titty fucked and choked at the same time.
23. Someone once blackmailed me into having sex with him because he threatened to tell my then-boyfriend I cheated on him with some guy.
24. I was raped, twice. I'm not too traumatized by it though, for some reason. But no, I definitely did not enjoy the experiences.
25. The most times I've had sex is 11 times a day.
1.When I was a Senior in High school I started my first serious relationship, with a girl. I had dated males previously, and I had never felt so passionately about another person or enjoyed sexual acts with them before her. She and the girls she was sleeping with at the same time she was with me have ensured that I will most likely not be dating a woman again anytime soon.
2.My next relationship was with a man who would whine and pester incessantly if I didn't feel like having sex, until I would at the very least give him head. Sometimes he would start trying to have sex, and I would be unresponsive as a polite "not interested" message. He would just keep going. I would let him.He would finish and roll over and fall asleep. After living with him for two years, I woke up and saw this for what it was: coercion and rape. When I broke up with him he cried and said, "But you're my lover!"
3.I've posed for nude photos twice, both with amateur photographers. The second time I got paid. I like the feeling of getting money for doing exhibitionist things in a private setting.
4.The best thing I have ever done for sex was this: I fed my partner two staminaRX, and tied his pelvis and cock to his hands shibari style. Then I blindfolded him and put plugs in his ears. He wasn't allowed to say anything or react to my advances until I told him he could.Then I teased him for a while and made him ask to lick my twat. When I finally untied his hands and let him fuck me, I had the best orgasm I have ever had. There is nothing better than feeling like I own this guy's soul.
5.I love offering to give head. I love swallowing come. I can get myself so worked up while giving head that I think I'll orgasm. However if someone tries to make me or asks when I don't feel like it, I become enraged.(probably due to #2)
6.I swore i would never shave my pussy. But when I started seeing my current boyfriend he often talked about how much he preferred it. I finally gave in, and I have no idea how I ever enjoyed sex before.
7. When I was 12or13 I would masturbate so often that I was afraid I had an addiction. I was also afraid I was going to hell because of it. I would masturbate in the bathroom, lying on the floor atop a towel. My parents thought I was bulimic.
8.In high school I used to cut and burn myself. It gave me an adrenaline rush and made me feel safe. I never fully enjoyed sex on all levels as much as when I met another switch and had my first BDSM experiences.
9. I tend to equate sex and love. If I enjoy having sex with someone enough, I will probably end up falling in love with them,they own my heart,and I will do anything for them,and that will last until I feel that they've betrayed me in some way, at which point it abruptly stops.
10.My ultimate sexual fantasy is to be dehumanized by my partner and used at their leisure.I love the idea of being someones adored plaything.
11.I've always been curious about Incubii. I wonder what it be like to get fucked by a demon.
12.I'm a little afraid that my current partner's taste for CBT has made ball crushing manoeuvres so habitual that in my next relationship I'll end up hurting some guy.
13.I slept with a 28 year old right after I turned 20.
14.After I broke up with the guy from #2 I slept with someone the night after. It wasn't the guy he accused me of cheating on him with, who I slept with the next night. The best part? I never slept with anyone but his raping self the whole two years I was with him.
15.I love sex. I don't care for masturbating. It makes me feel pathetic.Like, If I want sex, I should be able to go and get it from someone.Why should I have to do that myself?
16.Cutting my partner and drinking his blood is some of my favorite foreplay.my other favorite is tying up his penis and testicles and licking and biting them until he's gasping.
17.My nipples are my top non groin erogenous zone. For some reason I always date assmen who don't even think to stimulate them. The thing is, tit torture would have me in a pathetic ball of need quicker than anything else.
18.Every time my boyfriend penetrates me vaginally, I feel like I'm having this huge emotional upheaval of shear joy. I've never got that feeling from anyone but him.
19. I hang out mostly with men, and I tend to talk about sex and sexuality excessively. Sometimes I think they enjoy this as much as I enjoy thinking I'm teasing them, but I'm beginning to think they resent it usually.
20.My need for sex is so driving for me that I sometimes find that it gets in the way of my responsibilities in life. Because I'm having sex or trying to have sex, instead of doing what I need to do.
21.I love watching myself get fucked in a mirror.
22.My entire health regimen is centered around my optimal vaginal health/attractiveness.
23.I only drink coffee in emergency caffeine needed situations because it makes my twat stink.
24.I consume giant tubs of yogurt in order to make sure that I never have a candida outbreak, because it would keep me from having sex.
25. If I am ever a day late on my period I immediately begin drinking copious amounts of strongly brewed mugwort tea to kick out whatever could be potentially taking root in my womb. I refuse to be impregnated. I would rather get pushed down some stairs.
2.My next relationship was with a man who would whine and pester incessantly if I didn't feel like having sex, until I would at the very least give him head. Sometimes he would start trying to have sex, and I would be unresponsive as a polite "not interested" message. He would just keep going. I would let him.He would finish and roll over and fall asleep. After living with him for two years, I woke up and saw this for what it was: coercion and rape. When I broke up with him he cried and said, "But you're my lover!"
3.I've posed for nude photos twice, both with amateur photographers. The second time I got paid. I like the feeling of getting money for doing exhibitionist things in a private setting.
4.The best thing I have ever done for sex was this: I fed my partner two staminaRX, and tied his pelvis and cock to his hands shibari style. Then I blindfolded him and put plugs in his ears. He wasn't allowed to say anything or react to my advances until I told him he could.Then I teased him for a while and made him ask to lick my twat. When I finally untied his hands and let him fuck me, I had the best orgasm I have ever had. There is nothing better than feeling like I own this guy's soul.
5.I love offering to give head. I love swallowing come. I can get myself so worked up while giving head that I think I'll orgasm. However if someone tries to make me or asks when I don't feel like it, I become enraged.(probably due to #2)
6.I swore i would never shave my pussy. But when I started seeing my current boyfriend he often talked about how much he preferred it. I finally gave in, and I have no idea how I ever enjoyed sex before.
7. When I was 12or13 I would masturbate so often that I was afraid I had an addiction. I was also afraid I was going to hell because of it. I would masturbate in the bathroom, lying on the floor atop a towel. My parents thought I was bulimic.
8.In high school I used to cut and burn myself. It gave me an adrenaline rush and made me feel safe. I never fully enjoyed sex on all levels as much as when I met another switch and had my first BDSM experiences.
9. I tend to equate sex and love. If I enjoy having sex with someone enough, I will probably end up falling in love with them,they own my heart,and I will do anything for them,and that will last until I feel that they've betrayed me in some way, at which point it abruptly stops.
10.My ultimate sexual fantasy is to be dehumanized by my partner and used at their leisure.I love the idea of being someones adored plaything.
11.I've always been curious about Incubii. I wonder what it be like to get fucked by a demon.
12.I'm a little afraid that my current partner's taste for CBT has made ball crushing manoeuvres so habitual that in my next relationship I'll end up hurting some guy.
13.I slept with a 28 year old right after I turned 20.
14.After I broke up with the guy from #2 I slept with someone the night after. It wasn't the guy he accused me of cheating on him with, who I slept with the next night. The best part? I never slept with anyone but his raping self the whole two years I was with him.
15.I love sex. I don't care for masturbating. It makes me feel pathetic.Like, If I want sex, I should be able to go and get it from someone.Why should I have to do that myself?
16.Cutting my partner and drinking his blood is some of my favorite foreplay.my other favorite is tying up his penis and testicles and licking and biting them until he's gasping.
17.My nipples are my top non groin erogenous zone. For some reason I always date assmen who don't even think to stimulate them. The thing is, tit torture would have me in a pathetic ball of need quicker than anything else.
18.Every time my boyfriend penetrates me vaginally, I feel like I'm having this huge emotional upheaval of shear joy. I've never got that feeling from anyone but him.
19. I hang out mostly with men, and I tend to talk about sex and sexuality excessively. Sometimes I think they enjoy this as much as I enjoy thinking I'm teasing them, but I'm beginning to think they resent it usually.
20.My need for sex is so driving for me that I sometimes find that it gets in the way of my responsibilities in life. Because I'm having sex or trying to have sex, instead of doing what I need to do.
21.I love watching myself get fucked in a mirror.
22.My entire health regimen is centered around my optimal vaginal health/attractiveness.
23.I only drink coffee in emergency caffeine needed situations because it makes my twat stink.
24.I consume giant tubs of yogurt in order to make sure that I never have a candida outbreak, because it would keep me from having sex.
25. If I am ever a day late on my period I immediately begin drinking copious amounts of strongly brewed mugwort tea to kick out whatever could be potentially taking root in my womb. I refuse to be impregnated. I would rather get pushed down some stairs.
1. I've had sex with three guys.
2. I never had sex with any of them more than once. I hate this fact. Sometimes I don't care but usually I think it's pretty humiliating.
3. Compared to most college kids I have ridiculous amounts of self-control (or I'm just picky) but when I go home to my super-conservative family I'm a dirty whore. I find this very confusing sometimes.
4. I lost my virginity to an exboyfriend a week before i turned 17. We were both really drunk and I wouldn't let him finish because it hurt so bad. The next day when he found out I was a virgin he claimed we didn't have sex, maybe because I stopped him, maybe because I asked if he used a condom and we hadn't, maybe he thought I wouldn't remember. He then apologised profusely for everything else we did. He destroyed my self-esteem and made me feel absolutely horrible about myself for a very long time.
5. I've never orgasmed for anyone but him.
6. I tell people I've had sex with four guys because of the "second" guy. I dated him for a month or two and ended it, it wasn't working out. Somehow things worked better for us when he had a girlfriend, who didn't know about me. He had the biggest dick I've ever seen, and i was scared to have sex with him. When I finally agreed, his dick fell out and were having a hard time getting it back in. He told me the condom "felt weird" and he didn't want to try anymore. This completely destroyed my self-esteem (again) and is why i lie about it. I've never told anyone this because I'm still embarrassed.
7. Two of the three times I've had sex a mutual male friend of ours was in the room.
8. I've never had sex sober although I was sober for the 6 incident.
9. I've only dated guys with larger than average dicks, and I've never seen their dicks before we started dating.
10. I've kissed less than ten guys.
11. I can get turned on just lying next to a guy I'm attracted to. I find it hard to keep my hands off. I'm just an extremely touchy-feely person.
12. I've had crushes on girls, but have never been sexually attracted to them. I doubt I'd ever even kiss a girl.
13. I have absolutely no preference or "type" I am attracted to. Skin, eye, hair colours, body shape and clothing style generally don't matter to me as long as it works for that person.
14. I am, however, most attracted to blue-collar guys. And guys that drink a lot and do drugs.
15. Bad personality (inconsiderate, disrespectful, malicious, egotistical etc) is probably the biggest turn-off for me.
16. Tattoos are the biggest turn-on.
17. Porn flicks are unappealing to me and generally gross me out. Even kissing scenes in movies make me uncomfortable.
18. I fantasize about threesomes with male 'best friends' but I probably won't act on it.
19. I could never date someone that I wasn't sexually compatible with and firmly believe that sex is one of the most important parts of the relationship.
20. I have no position preference but I love to be pushed around and commanded what to do.
21. I'll have nothing to do with anything anal. It's just not for me.
22. The most turned on I've been was when I was at my boyfriend-of-the-time's house drinking with him and his friends. While I was leaving the bathroom he surprised me and shoved me back in, against the wall and started fingering me until we got caught. His friend, that I was super attracted to, jokingly asked to join and I sometimes wish I'd said yes.
23. I wish I could figure out how to tell guys I'm with that I like to be pushed around and called names. I worry about coming off as a creep if they're not into it.
24. I talk very perverted. When something surprising and bad/painful happens(I run into something and hurt myself, die in a video game, etc) I have a tendency to yell 'fuck me sideways!' or 'fuck my ass!' without thinking and it usually makes for a really awkward situation. I was very sheltered and didn't learn about sex until I was in the public school system as a freshman in high school. I'm pretty positive that's why I'm a giant pervert now.
25. I think it's obscenely rude when other girls (or guys) ask about a guy's dick size or 'how good they were.' I can't bring myself to put a guy down like that so I'll lie if the truth isn't positive.
2. I never had sex with any of them more than once. I hate this fact. Sometimes I don't care but usually I think it's pretty humiliating.
3. Compared to most college kids I have ridiculous amounts of self-control (or I'm just picky) but when I go home to my super-conservative family I'm a dirty whore. I find this very confusing sometimes.
4. I lost my virginity to an exboyfriend a week before i turned 17. We were both really drunk and I wouldn't let him finish because it hurt so bad. The next day when he found out I was a virgin he claimed we didn't have sex, maybe because I stopped him, maybe because I asked if he used a condom and we hadn't, maybe he thought I wouldn't remember. He then apologised profusely for everything else we did. He destroyed my self-esteem and made me feel absolutely horrible about myself for a very long time.
5. I've never orgasmed for anyone but him.
6. I tell people I've had sex with four guys because of the "second" guy. I dated him for a month or two and ended it, it wasn't working out. Somehow things worked better for us when he had a girlfriend, who didn't know about me. He had the biggest dick I've ever seen, and i was scared to have sex with him. When I finally agreed, his dick fell out and were having a hard time getting it back in. He told me the condom "felt weird" and he didn't want to try anymore. This completely destroyed my self-esteem (again) and is why i lie about it. I've never told anyone this because I'm still embarrassed.
7. Two of the three times I've had sex a mutual male friend of ours was in the room.
8. I've never had sex sober although I was sober for the 6 incident.
9. I've only dated guys with larger than average dicks, and I've never seen their dicks before we started dating.
10. I've kissed less than ten guys.
11. I can get turned on just lying next to a guy I'm attracted to. I find it hard to keep my hands off. I'm just an extremely touchy-feely person.
12. I've had crushes on girls, but have never been sexually attracted to them. I doubt I'd ever even kiss a girl.
13. I have absolutely no preference or "type" I am attracted to. Skin, eye, hair colours, body shape and clothing style generally don't matter to me as long as it works for that person.
14. I am, however, most attracted to blue-collar guys. And guys that drink a lot and do drugs.
15. Bad personality (inconsiderate, disrespectful, malicious, egotistical etc) is probably the biggest turn-off for me.
16. Tattoos are the biggest turn-on.
17. Porn flicks are unappealing to me and generally gross me out. Even kissing scenes in movies make me uncomfortable.
18. I fantasize about threesomes with male 'best friends' but I probably won't act on it.
19. I could never date someone that I wasn't sexually compatible with and firmly believe that sex is one of the most important parts of the relationship.
20. I have no position preference but I love to be pushed around and commanded what to do.
21. I'll have nothing to do with anything anal. It's just not for me.
22. The most turned on I've been was when I was at my boyfriend-of-the-time's house drinking with him and his friends. While I was leaving the bathroom he surprised me and shoved me back in, against the wall and started fingering me until we got caught. His friend, that I was super attracted to, jokingly asked to join and I sometimes wish I'd said yes.
23. I wish I could figure out how to tell guys I'm with that I like to be pushed around and called names. I worry about coming off as a creep if they're not into it.
24. I talk very perverted. When something surprising and bad/painful happens(I run into something and hurt myself, die in a video game, etc) I have a tendency to yell 'fuck me sideways!' or 'fuck my ass!' without thinking and it usually makes for a really awkward situation. I was very sheltered and didn't learn about sex until I was in the public school system as a freshman in high school. I'm pretty positive that's why I'm a giant pervert now.
25. I think it's obscenely rude when other girls (or guys) ask about a guy's dick size or 'how good they were.' I can't bring myself to put a guy down like that so I'll lie if the truth isn't positive.
Friday, February 27, 2009
1. I have been attracted to pregnant women, and the idea of being pregnant, for as long as I can remember. For a straight woman who never plans to have children of my own, this has always been a source of shame and secrecy for me. In fact, this is the first time I have ever admitted this. Oftentimes I can't orgasm even with a partner unless I am thinking about a heavy pregnant belly. Because of the shame attached to this, I get weird around pregnant women and avoid them, thinking they can tell I'm looking at their bodies and being a pervert.
2. I have fucked a pair of brothers (on two separate occasions – not together), a brother and sister (ditto), and lots of pairs of best friends.
3. When I was 14, my mom got us a kitten from the pound. He would climb under the covers with me in bed at night. I trained him to lick my pussy by putting butter on my labia, though after a while he would just do it on his own, without butter or prompting. He did it for years and years, even doing it when I would visit home from college. I always worried whether he tried to do it to others in my family.
4. I have only orgasmed from oral sex once in my life – six months ago.
5. I never was able to use my hands to make myself come until I was in my late 20s. Even now the number of times I've gotten myself off without a vibrator is in the single digits (no pun intended).
6. I rarely use condoms, even with casual sex. The first few times perhaps, but then they go out the window.
7. My first erotic dream starred Steve Martin.
8. I have had one threesome where I was one of two women, and one threesome where I was with two men. I would do both combinations again any day.
9. I used to hate my labia minora, which protrude past my outer lips, and for a brief time in college I considered getting them surgically reduced. Now I love them, but I get very offended when I hear people – almost always men – make “meat curtain” jokes. Once my best friend asked me if she had too much sex, would her inner lips get stretched out and hang down? I told her no but it made me feel ashamed.
10. I have fucked between 40 and 50 people, all but one of them men.
11. I started writing and drawing pornographic stories when I was in 5th grade, about ten years old. I kept them all in a big folder which I hid under the carpet in a corner of my bedroom. Though being the earliest of my friends to start taking an active interest in sex, I was one of the last ones to actually get kissed – in 10th grade. The 5 years of unresolved sexual desire turned me into a pent-up fireball and the aftermath involved several years of sluttily bad choices.
12. I have only tried to “make a move” on women twice in my life, and was rejected both times. I often get crushes on girls but I have no confidence to ever try to kiss them.
13. The first time I received oral sex, it was non-consensual. I was 15 and my 18-year-old virgin boyfriend held me down and did it while I cried. He used teeth and I had to ride my bike home standing up on the pedals the entire way because I was so sore. He cried when I broke up with him the next time we saw each other.
14. I regret every person I ever had a crush on that I never got a chance to sleep with.
15. I don't really like kissing. The first time is great, especially when it's passionate and unexpected, but from then on I don't enjoy it. I'd rather make out with a neck or shoulder.
16. When I was 19, I borrowed a camcorder from my school for a class. I filmed myself fucking my boyfriend over the weekend, but when I went to watch it in the viewfinder, I felt shocked and nauseated. I never did watch it on a TV screen, and I have no idea where that tape is today. (Gulp.)
17. That said, I love taking nude pictures of myself and having them taken of me. I enjoy my body now more than I ever have in life, and when I see how beautiful it looks on film, I feel lovely and validated.
18. I would love to dress in drag and go out as a man. LOVE to. I never have.
19. I've tried anal sex a handful of times and never had it “work” except once. But oh, that once. I was really drunk and for some reason I just opened up. The pain stopped and the feeling it gave me was like nothing I've ever experienced. I'd love to try it again, but I've never been able to replicate that moment.
20. I've used a strap-on with a smallish butt plug on my ex-boyfriend. At first it was exciting to try the role reversal, but over time (paired with his general femininity overall) it wasn't as much of a thrill. I began doing it just for his benefit, and it lost more and more of its charm until I got no pleasure from it at all – in fact, the mess and smell was a serious turnoff. I would love to try it anew with someone else – especially a woman.
21. I can squirt. Sometimes an awful lot. Yet I can't bring myself to do it in front of a partner, even if they've told me they'd enjoy it or want to see it. In fact there's been times I've psyched myself out of an orgasm because I'm worried I'll spray my partner's face or in their mouth. Perhaps this is why I don't come from oral.
22. I bought my first vibrator from a mail-order catalog when I was 15 with a money order. I ran home from school every day to check the mailbox, terrified someone would get there before I did. It was pink with sparkles and smelled like chemical candy. I never got off with it though. When I was almost 19 I bought a heavy-duty back massager from Service Merchandise, and I've been using that on my clit for the last dozen years. I estimate it's given me about 3,000 orgasms at LEAST (two today already!).
23.The idea of consuming sperm disgusts me, in a gut-wrenching, visceral way. Semen itself doesn't bother me when I see it on my skin or his, but once it's in the mouth I want to hurl. Watching videos of people with cum in their mouths sickens me. (I have swallowed a few times, but it's gotta be a special occasion.)
24. Once I fucked a guy's throat with my hand. My entire hand. It was slimy and hot and felt lovely and nasty.
25. If I know you, I've probably thought about you naked at least once.
2. I have fucked a pair of brothers (on two separate occasions – not together), a brother and sister (ditto), and lots of pairs of best friends.
3. When I was 14, my mom got us a kitten from the pound. He would climb under the covers with me in bed at night. I trained him to lick my pussy by putting butter on my labia, though after a while he would just do it on his own, without butter or prompting. He did it for years and years, even doing it when I would visit home from college. I always worried whether he tried to do it to others in my family.
4. I have only orgasmed from oral sex once in my life – six months ago.
5. I never was able to use my hands to make myself come until I was in my late 20s. Even now the number of times I've gotten myself off without a vibrator is in the single digits (no pun intended).
6. I rarely use condoms, even with casual sex. The first few times perhaps, but then they go out the window.
7. My first erotic dream starred Steve Martin.
8. I have had one threesome where I was one of two women, and one threesome where I was with two men. I would do both combinations again any day.
9. I used to hate my labia minora, which protrude past my outer lips, and for a brief time in college I considered getting them surgically reduced. Now I love them, but I get very offended when I hear people – almost always men – make “meat curtain” jokes. Once my best friend asked me if she had too much sex, would her inner lips get stretched out and hang down? I told her no but it made me feel ashamed.
10. I have fucked between 40 and 50 people, all but one of them men.
11. I started writing and drawing pornographic stories when I was in 5th grade, about ten years old. I kept them all in a big folder which I hid under the carpet in a corner of my bedroom. Though being the earliest of my friends to start taking an active interest in sex, I was one of the last ones to actually get kissed – in 10th grade. The 5 years of unresolved sexual desire turned me into a pent-up fireball and the aftermath involved several years of sluttily bad choices.
12. I have only tried to “make a move” on women twice in my life, and was rejected both times. I often get crushes on girls but I have no confidence to ever try to kiss them.
13. The first time I received oral sex, it was non-consensual. I was 15 and my 18-year-old virgin boyfriend held me down and did it while I cried. He used teeth and I had to ride my bike home standing up on the pedals the entire way because I was so sore. He cried when I broke up with him the next time we saw each other.
14. I regret every person I ever had a crush on that I never got a chance to sleep with.
15. I don't really like kissing. The first time is great, especially when it's passionate and unexpected, but from then on I don't enjoy it. I'd rather make out with a neck or shoulder.
16. When I was 19, I borrowed a camcorder from my school for a class. I filmed myself fucking my boyfriend over the weekend, but when I went to watch it in the viewfinder, I felt shocked and nauseated. I never did watch it on a TV screen, and I have no idea where that tape is today. (Gulp.)
17. That said, I love taking nude pictures of myself and having them taken of me. I enjoy my body now more than I ever have in life, and when I see how beautiful it looks on film, I feel lovely and validated.
18. I would love to dress in drag and go out as a man. LOVE to. I never have.
19. I've tried anal sex a handful of times and never had it “work” except once. But oh, that once. I was really drunk and for some reason I just opened up. The pain stopped and the feeling it gave me was like nothing I've ever experienced. I'd love to try it again, but I've never been able to replicate that moment.
20. I've used a strap-on with a smallish butt plug on my ex-boyfriend. At first it was exciting to try the role reversal, but over time (paired with his general femininity overall) it wasn't as much of a thrill. I began doing it just for his benefit, and it lost more and more of its charm until I got no pleasure from it at all – in fact, the mess and smell was a serious turnoff. I would love to try it anew with someone else – especially a woman.
21. I can squirt. Sometimes an awful lot. Yet I can't bring myself to do it in front of a partner, even if they've told me they'd enjoy it or want to see it. In fact there's been times I've psyched myself out of an orgasm because I'm worried I'll spray my partner's face or in their mouth. Perhaps this is why I don't come from oral.
22. I bought my first vibrator from a mail-order catalog when I was 15 with a money order. I ran home from school every day to check the mailbox, terrified someone would get there before I did. It was pink with sparkles and smelled like chemical candy. I never got off with it though. When I was almost 19 I bought a heavy-duty back massager from Service Merchandise, and I've been using that on my clit for the last dozen years. I estimate it's given me about 3,000 orgasms at LEAST (two today already!).
23.The idea of consuming sperm disgusts me, in a gut-wrenching, visceral way. Semen itself doesn't bother me when I see it on my skin or his, but once it's in the mouth I want to hurl. Watching videos of people with cum in their mouths sickens me. (I have swallowed a few times, but it's gotta be a special occasion.)
24. Once I fucked a guy's throat with my hand. My entire hand. It was slimy and hot and felt lovely and nasty.
25. If I know you, I've probably thought about you naked at least once.
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