Saturday, February 28, 2009

1. When I was 12 I tried to break my hymen by inserting the end of a curtain rod repeatedly into my vagina while I lay, legs pronged open on the tiles of my parents' bathroom floor and. I pushed it up so high I must have bruised my cervix, but I wasn't aware - I thought that was my hymen.

2. I lost my virginity at 13 to my 16 year old boyfriend. I'll always remember the posters of Kurt Cobain and the 'I Believe' UFO posters that hung around on his wall. It didn't hurt a bit and I walked home in my school uniform, feeling alive.

3. I first had anal sex when I was 15 to my 21 year old boyfriend at the time in the back of his car to a soundtrack of Led Zeppelin and The Police. It hurt a lot - but no one has ever made me come so much and so hard ever since.

4. When I was 14 I fell in love with a girl at school who hung with a completely different crowd, even though we spent exorbitant amounts of time with each other (much to the bemusement of everyone else). One night I invited her to my place for a sleepover and tried to touch her when we were both lying in bed. She let me kiss her neck and caress her breasts, but when I tried to go further south she told me to stop. Our friendship ended there, abruptly. I always wondered if she felt the same way.

5. I have slept with 22 people; a number greater than my age.

6. I once had an older boyfriend who was very attractive and took great pride in his appearance. I could never put my finger on it, but there was always something there that didn't sit right with me, something I initially tried to ignore that eventually repulsed me. It was only till later that I realised that every time we had sex I felt like I was fucking my father.

7. I started watching porn when I was very young, I guess I was around 10. I discovered tapes and magazines in my father's draw and the internet wasn't as censored as it is nowadays.

8. I became an expert at drawing hentai and used to lie on the floor, drawing graphic lesbian hentai scenes, with my parents in the background, watching the nightly news program. Of course, they never actually saw what I drew.

9. The first time I ever gave a boy oral sex was when I was 15. I had no idea what I was doing and I accidentally bit his cock till it bled, I mistook his groans of pain for pleasure.

10. At age 16 I had my first bondage experience. My boyfriend at the time had me handcuffed, blindfolded and gagged in his bedroom; his mother accidentally walked in, asking if I'd like to stay for dinner.

11. I orgasmed at a David Bowie concert from sheer excitement. I've been a longtime fan since childhood, and just being in his presence was more than enough to get me off.

12. I love the smell of a boy's unwashed scalp. Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm giving head massages, but really I'm just scraping remnants of their scent onto my fingers, so I can smell it later.

13. I like to be fucked till it hurts.

14. I find androgyny incredibly erotic. Effeminate men and masculine women appeal to me much more than the status quo.

15. I once found a handful of vibrators in my mother's underwear drawer. One evening, when the family was out for dinner I tested every single one of them on me - until I came from each one.

16. Something about fitness turns me on. There's nothing like being hot and sweaty after a run.

17. I have a thing for openly gay men. Obviously, the arousal would never be requited but there's something so taboo venturing there, when something is so clear cut and defined.

18. I do kegels every day. During sex, I contract my muscles so I can control my orgasm, and my partner's orgasm; sometimes, I squeeze them so hard that it hurts.

19. If I wasn't from such a good family, I'd probably consider high-class prostitution as a part-time career. I have an enviable ability to disconnect my emotions from my surroundings, and I love casual sex.

20. Sometimes, when I'm bored on public transport I'll let my eyes wander to any ordinary looking male or female sitting nearby. Then, I'll let my imagination wander and picture masochistic scenes of me shoving various sex toys into their orifices.

21. I enjoy singing whilst I have sex. I have a good choir voice, and for me it heightens the experience.

22. I remembered being 12, when men were just starting to take notice of my developing figure. In my fantasies, I'd imagine the greasiest, oldest, smelliest man would take me into a public toilet and show me the anatomy of the male form.

23. I keep a catalogue of photographs of everyone I've ever slept with or kissed. Sometimes, when I'm lonely I'll look through all the pictures and try to remember what their genitalia looked like.

24. Although I'm loving and affectionate and fully capable of maintaining a long-standing, monogamous relationship I'd like to sleep with as many people as possible. I enjoy the gritty anonymity of a one night stand.

25. I've always found it difficult to watch films about the Hitler youth or the Nazi movement at large because one of my most frequent fantasies is to be gangbanged by Nazis. Something about their assembly-line, stoic, unforgiving, inhumane nature and that extremely well-tailored uniform and swept hairstyle.