Wednesday, March 11, 2009

1. The first time I had an orgasm was when I was 13. I was in bed and felt a little bit itchy. Light scratching turned to more intentional exploring and I had my first orgasm. I woke up with dried blood under my fingernails because I had got my first period without realizing it was happening.

2. I still feel incredibly horny in the week leading up to my period. I feel lucky that I’ve never been with a guy who had a problem with period sex.

3. My first vibrator experience was embarrassing. I’d found a sport massager in the hall closet and was messing around with it on my thigh without really realizing I could try it out on my pussy, when my mother walked in. She teased me, turning an innocent exploration into something I was ashamed of. It did put the idea in my head, though, and I tried it on my clit the first chance I got.

4. When I was 12 my best friend took me to her Pentecostal church, where I was coerced into accepting Jesus. That began a long program of indoctrination into the sins associated with sex, more specifically at the time masturbation. While I masturbated daily all during my teens, I felt intensely guilty about it. Even into adulthood I felt embarrassed about touching myself when I was having sex with someone. It wasn’t until a lover told me how hot it made him to see me touching my clit while I rode him that I got over that.

5. I once burned my clit by using a massager with the ball attachment off, leaving just the metal post, which became gradually hotter. I had to take a few days off after that.

6. When I was 14 or so I developed a crush on my cousin. I had fantasies involving party sex games where we’d be paired up randomly. I think this made it seem less weird to be doing sexual things with my cousin, since the bottle made the choice, or the flip of the coin. I never told my cousin about my crush.

7. I wanted to lose my virginity to a boy I had a summer romance with. We made out for hours and he got so far as burying his face in my panty covered pussy but we never had sex. I think he wasn’t ready. I spent most of that summer aroused but unsatisfied.

8. That same summer I bought my horse. I rode her every day and learned that if I tilted my pelvis forward slightly the motion of her walking would get me off. I can’t say how many times I quietly came in full sight of people driving past on the road.

9. The first guy I had sex with was black. He said he’d had sex before but he was pretty inexperienced because he didn’t try to get me ready first and I was very dry. I don’t know if he was especially large, having nothing to compare to. The second time was better because I wasn’t as nervous and was much wetter. He went down on me (sort of) but I never orgasmed with him.

10. I never had an orgasm while having sex with someone until I met my ex-husband. He was 11 years older and knew a bit more than my previous child lovers. He was the first guy to go down on me and make me cum.

11. In hindsight, my ex probably would have been open to trying just about anything I suggested sexually, but I was still so repressed I couldn’t bring myself to say the word “pussy” let alone suggest buying sex toys.

12. I faked orgasm almost every time my ex and I had sex, after the first year we were together. I never had the courage to tell him what I liked so I never got there. I felt pressure to get off quickly so he could be finished so I’d fake it. Then when he was in the bathroom washing up I’d quickly get myself off.

13. We bought a computer in 1994 and I quickly discovered internet porn and adult chat rooms. I noticed many of the women I was seeing had shaved pussies so I shaved mine. I will never forget how aroused I was once I’d finished shaving and how amazingly smooth my pussy lips felt when I masturbated afterward. I was a little surprised that I seemed wet all the time with no pubic hair to trap moisture before it dripped down my thigh.

14. The day after I shaved my pussy for the first time my ex saw me naked and made some mild comment. I realize now that he was turned on by it and wonder what might have turned out differently if I’d asked him if he wanted a closer look.

15. When I was a teenager I used to lie in bed and have elaborate fantasies in which a guy was slowly caressing every inch of my body. I would use my own hands to duplicate what was happening in my head, avoiding touching my nipples or pussy until I couldn’t stand it. I was a master of the slow tease and I still love it when a lover takes the time to slowly tease me into a frenzy before finally letting me come. It happens rarely though.

16. My nipples have always been extremely sensitive but it wasn’t until I met my 2nd long term lover that I admitted it. Once I actually told someone how much I loved having my nipples sucked and bitten they started getting a lot more attention. I’ve never had an orgasm from just nipple stimulation, though I’ve come close.

17. I really wish I could have multiple orgasms. I can have one, then after a rest and with a bit of patience maybe another one, but the kind that come one on top of the other like waves on a beach have eluded me.

18. I used to think my pussy was built differently than other women’s. I thought my clitoris was too small and set really far from the vaginal opening. It wasn’t until I got internet and started looking at lots of different pussies that I realized I was normal.

19. I don’t like having sex with a man who’s really big. It generally hurts and there is no possibility of anal sex, which I really love but I don’t love feeling ripped up the next day. I’d rather have sex with a guy who’s on the smaller side for that reason. I also have a really strong gag reflex, so a smaller guy can grab me by the hair and fuck my mouth without me having to stop because he’s gagging me.

20. I love giving blowjobs. It bothered me that the first guy I went down on didn’t believe I’d never done it before. My enthusiasm was mistaken for experience. I have no problem giving long blowjobs. I like taking my time and playing with the guys cock in different ways, but not letting him cum until I’m ready to be done.

21. I love anything that has to do with mouths; kissing, sucking a cock, sucking a tongue like it was a little cock, licking a pussy, sucking on toes and fingers, earlobes, licking eyelids, anus and scrotum, licking along the crease between the ass and thigh, feeling a nipple get hard in my mouth. I love slowly and gently kissing a lovers face all over.

22. I’m almost 40 now and I’ve had three kids. I have a lot of stretch marks on my stomach and hips. My breasts are no longer perky and my stomach isn’t flat. On the other hand, I feel more comfortable in my skin now than I did when I was 16 and my body was perfect. My nipples got large and more sensitive after breastfeeding, which I love. It amazes me that I was afraid to be naked in front of a lover when my body was flawless.

23. I love being restrained. Being held down and tickled until I’m exhausted is amazing! *** is strong enough to take complete control of me and I love it when he holds me down on my stomach with my arms held down and my legs pinned together while he fucks my ass. Being in that helpless position and having him sink his teeth into my neck or back is one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had. He makes me say and admit to things when he has me like this that I’d never say otherwise.

24. I have a strong desire to be disciplined publicly. To have a lover become annoyed with my behavior at a party or something and force me over his lap. To have him rip my panties down, exposing my ass to everyone there and beat my ass until I cry, while making me say demeaning things, then forcing me to kneel next to him with my red ass on display. He would only let me get up if he wanted me to get him something. This fantasy makes me so hot I get dizzy but it’s also a bit disturbing to have something so humiliating be so arousing.

25. While I’m very submissive sexually with men, when I’m with a woman I like to be in control.