Friday, March 13, 2009

1. I lost my virginity at 12 to a 16 year old boy I thought I'd marry. I probably would have too if he didn't throw himself in front of a car.

2. I spent the entire summer before 8th grade sleeping in a tree house made out of wire racks and learning that sex wasn't as exciting and wonderful as I thought it would be. Turns out it was a lot better when I started doing it in a bed.

3. I had a friend in 4th grade that taught me everything I knew about sex until I actually had it. I had my first sexual experience with her too but I'm not attracted to girls at all.

4. I am physically repulsed by overweight men and men with hairy chests. I'm dating one with both characteristics. I don't understand why he doesn't make me gag in bed. I think it's because he doesn't walk like he's fat, he carries himself with confidence.

5. I'm 20 years old and I've slept with probably 15 or so men. That might not seem like a lot but before college, that number was only three or four. I'm in my third year.

6. I watch pornography constantly. I don't masturbate while I watch it though. My male roommates find it creepy that I watch it more than they do. I mostly watch girl on girl stuff even though I'm 99% straight.

7. I'm always quiet during sex but it's because I'm afraid of being heard. I'm really a screamer with good self control.

8. I'm not allowed to drink whiskey because I'll suck anyone's dick after three shots of Jack. I'm not a lightweight either, it's just whiskey.

9. I once had a competition with my college roommate to see who was better at giving head. I won.

10. She and I also shared three partners, not at the same time. They came back to me for a second helping and never called her back. She resents me for it and we no longer speak.

11. I'm a psychology major and I analyze my partners before I take them to bed. I don't have a specific style in the sack but I completely base my actions on what I think he would want.

12. I cannot stand sleeping with virgins. It makes me physically ill. I hate the fumbling hands and the shaky breath. I hate the hesitation and the prodding. I need someone that's sure of what they're doing.

13. I masturbate to pass time. I don't know if I even enjoy it anymore.

14. When I was dating a 17 year old, I promised him a threesome with my best friend for his birthday. We may be broken up but I'd probably still fuck her if my new boyfriend was into it. Did I mention she's dating my roommate? He would not approve.

15. My ex boyfriend's step-dad not only walked in on us having sex but lingered and watched. When I realized it, I started crying and almost threw up. He didn't stop fucking me and he knew before I did.

16. It only takes me about two minutes to come when I'm on top. It happens too fast and I have to stop before he even has a chance. I've worked out a system of starting on the bottom and climbing on top when he's close.

17. I cannot have sex when I smoke pot. My body just won't let it happen. I get all dried up and I can't concentrate enough to come or even keep any kind of rhythm.

18. I find my body horribly unattractive. Sometimes I don't understand why men even want me. I guess my personality makes up for it. Or maybe its the fact that my pouty mouth alludes to good blow jobs.

19. My roommates and I play a game called "Tell Me Something I Probably Don't Want to Know". I never tell them the really shocking stuff because I never want them to picture me naked, fucking, sucking or anything like that. I mostly just tell them gross things because it's weird for me to talk about sexual things with my guy roommates but I don't mind hearing it.

20. I hate being naked. I always leave my socks on. Weird, I know but it makes me feel safe and no one seems to mind.

21. I had sex in a child's race car bed once. I never called the guy again because I'm pretty sure I got a minor concussion from the lack of pillows and the hard plastic frame.

22. If I had to pick a celebrity to have sex with, it would probably be Jon Stewart. I'm not even sure why.

23. I truly enjoy going down on guys. I don't even need to receive in order to get off. I can physically come from enjoying a blow job that much.

24. I have sex dreams almost every other night. Most times, my partner doesn't even have a face. Just some random body, sometimes tattooed, others hairy. It might be rough or gentle love making.

25. Reading this blog makes me feel a lot more comfortable with my own sexuality and sexual history. For a while, I thought I was a creep.