Tuesday, March 10, 2009

1. I consider myself an extremely sexual person. A relationship without sex to me is nothing, but there HAS to be intimacy. There has to be an extreme emotional connection as well as a physical. I will always prefer a passionate "making love" to a hard fucking. There can be equal pressure, pumping, whatever, but I need that eye contact and those hands all over my body and I like to hear "I love you."

2. On the flip side, I just love attention from boys. I love acting like a slut and seeing a hot guy stare at me like he wants me. I love going to bars or parties and making out with boys. I love dancing with random guys and having their hands all over my body and feeling them get hard. I do not, however, do the one-night-stand sex act (but I have before).

3. In general, my body has gotten a lot of compliments. My most complimented feature body-wise is my ass. My boyfriends have all commented on my ass and my friends like it too. My stomach and breasts (although they're small B's) were constantly complimented as well. My first real boyfriend when I was 13 told me that I turned him into a "stomach man" (as opposed to an ass man or tits man). Despite all the attention, I am VERY insecure about my body. I pretty much hate everything about it except for my butt. I find flaws in everything about it and always find it hard to believe compliments.

4. One of the hottest moments was this past summer when I had sex with my ex-boyfriend (he was my ex at the time too...) and I was laying on his bed naked. He looked me up and down and said, "God, I just want to look at you for a while and remember this..." He proceeded to stare at every part of me for a long time with such a longing and awe. I'll never forget that.

5. When I was 13, I wrote erotic stories and sent them to my best guy friend at the time. They were extremely explicit and he sent me some back. I got so incredibly horny but I didn't know how to even give a handjob. His and my relationship escalated to "hooking-up," although neither of us were entirely sure what we were doing. My parents found out we were touching each other and I was grounded and got a "Net Nanny" to prevent me from reading Erotica. My parents have always restricted my sexual behavior and we have never discussed my sex life. As far as they know, I'm still a virgin and sex is unimportant to me.

6. I think something I will never try is anal sex or anal play. I just am really grossed out by touching or having someone touch my asshole. Um, hello? I poop out of there. POOP. Call me immature or close-minded, but that's just gross and awkward. Eugghhh. I would try pretty much any other kinky thing out there (that's not gross in my mind).

7. I had a pretty serious first official relationship (for my age at least) with a guy I met online (sort of). He knew my friends but I wasn't aware of this when we first talked online. He fingered me and it hurt so bad that I cried. I hadn't even figured out how to get a tampon in. He gave me a pillow to put over my mouth to muffle what he expected were going to be moans of pleasure because his mom was home. I moaned in pain instead. He always asked if he could go down on me, but I didn't even know what that was so I said no. I sort of wish I had said yes.

8. I dated a guy in high school for two and a half years. He was unpopular, unexperienced, and ugly, but he made an extensive effort to date me so I decided why not, and I sort of liked him. We didn't have sex until we had dated for one year and three months. The first time we had sex, we had already done every other sexual act you can think of, minus anal play or sex. It didn't hurt at all and we had sex 6 times that day and night in several different positions and places in my house. I thought I loved him at the time. My sexual life with him was repetitive and boring. Our parents were always home, so we almost always had sex with our clothes on. I could never be loud. He never made me orgasm, but I thought he did. Sometimes I pretended he was other people when I had sex with him.

9. The day we finally broke up, I had graduated high school already and my parents were out of town. I got drunk and invited the guy I had really been in love with the whole time (ex mentioned in #4) over to my house and he slept in my bed and we were almost naked but I didn't want to rush things. I gave him a handjob and he attempted to finger me but didn't know what he was doing. I taught him as well as the previous ex pretty much every basic sexual thing they needed to know. I wonder if either one of them ever secretly thanks me for that.

10. I have taken the "first kiss" of at least four boys and the "first fuck" of only one (it was non-mutual). I have been told I'm a good kisser by everyone I've dated. Kissing is an art and I don't like boys who don't appreciate it or know what they're doing.

11. I think my current boyfriend has the perfect sized dick. It's seven inches and a nice width and fills me up very nicely. He's bigger than the other boys I've had sex with, but he's uncircumcised. Every other dick I've dealt with has been circumcised, so I was sort of taken aback and confused as to what to do with it. But now, I think it's a lot of fun and I also think his orgasms are much more intense because of his extra sensitive skin. My current boyfriend and I have amazing sex. We're in love, so I always believe that makes the sex more amazing, but we are adventurous and I guess kinky by most terms and I'm pretty damn satisfied.

12. The ONLY complaint I have is that he doesn't try hard enough to make me orgasm. He has very amazing, intense orgasms almost every time, but I am left sort of... unsatisfied. He sometimes cums too quickly so I feel like I haven't had enough stimulation. I don't want to tell him this because I think it will make him sad. I love him and I love the sex we have, so I guess if I'm patient I might orgasm eventually.

13. That being said, I fully am aware that I am a sexual perfectionist. I get extremely upset if a guy I'm having sex with doesn't cum. But, I'm also upset if the sex is too short. I prefer the former to the latter, because I love to please. But if either happens, I don't really consider it "good sex." This is a fact about myself that I'm trying to change, but it's pretty damn hard.

14. I don't know if I've ever had an orgasm (I think I might have once from current boy). I don't masturbate. I have before but I get bored with it. Sex to me is an act. I like to put on a show for others. I think I'm good at that. I don't care about putting on a show for myself. I like to be loud and look at the person pleasuring me to let him know that he's making me feel amazing. I want to buy a vibrator and figure out my body and make myself orgasm, but I don't feel like spending money and am skeptical as to it's ability to get me off (stupid excuses, I know.)

15. Sex in public turns me on. I've done some pretty f-ed up shit. I fucked a guy while his roommate was sleeping in the bunk bed below us, I've fucked in my room many a time when my parents are home (sometimes with the door slightly open...but always with clothes on), I've fucked two different guys in two different college laundry rooms and almost gotten walked in on both times, I've given road head a few times and really not cared if anyone saw me. When I want it, I want it, and I pretty much don't care where I am or who I'm with. It turns me on most when a guy carries the same attitude. Spontaneity is everything in that instance.

16. All of the guys that I've hooked up with in college have been more on the kinky side. One in particular was super kinky with me, and he even sometimes called me "the kinkster." We had the hottest, most passionate make-out and touching sessions EVER. He was SO good with his hands and mouth, but he's not even very attractive. He's awkward and goofy and weird, but knows what he's doing in bed. That being said, he had what he called a "botched circumcision" so his penis had this weird extra flap of skin... kinda weird, but whatever.

17. My biggest turn on is wanting something I have to work for to have. Teasing me is the best way to turn me on. I love that in-the-moment pause where the guy refuses to let you kiss him completely, or when he kisses up and down my thighs before going down on me.

18. My current boyfriend is an example of a guy where I gave everything up right way expecting pretty much nothing. I fucked him something like the third day of this school year, I let him take pictures of me naked, I was REALLY loud right away... I just had no inhibitions. Part of it was him. His personality just made me feel very relaxed and trusting, and I am so lucky I was right about him because we're together now and he's amazing.

19. After I came home from college, I was newly into biting and scratching, and I hooked up with my ex (see #8). He cheated on me when we were together and we didn't speak for a year, but once we started speaking again, the old sparks came back and we kissed and slept in the same bed one night at a party and then had sex the night before I left for school. He was very impressed with my new sexual style, and secretly I was so happy that I had been taught it by the college boys I'd hooked up with. I think if I ever hook up with anyone else (hard to imagine since I'm in love with my boyfriend), I won't really enjoy it unless they're into that too.

20. Being in love with my current boyfriend has opened me up to a lot of aspects of sex that I had never really been able to experience before. While I think I've loved one other person at least, the feeling was not mutual, and the one boy who loved me as deeply as my current boyfriend I did not feel the same about at all. Now, I have the opportunity for the most, romantic, passionate, and intimate sex I've ever experienced. I love it most when we look at each other straight in the eyes and I also love it when he cums inside me (no condom, but the pill). Seeing him orgasm because of me is seriously one of the sexiest things I've ever read, heard of, seen, or experienced in my life.

21. I'm really open with my friends about my sex life. I sort of don't consider you a close friend if you're not willing to at least accept my sex talks or talk to me about your sex life. Prudes are boring. Because of this, I *might* seriously want to be a sex therapist on the side of my main future job. Human sexuality and intimate relationships seriously fascinate me, and I want to know everything I can about them. And how cool would it be for my boyfriend to say he's dating a sex therapist? ;-)

22. I'm very insecure about my current boyfriend's sexual past. He's fucked a lot more people than me (11 total I believe) and once he unfortunately let it slip that I was second best. Fuck the bitch who is before me. I don't know if I still stand in that order right now, because he did say that months ago, but I guess it's best not to know if I am. He also had sex with someone while we were unofficially dating, and I hate that anonymous bitch too. I'm territorial and jealous when it comes to things like that. The dick that I'm fucking is MY dick, and I hate when bitchy girls come in the way of that.

23. I like being spanked and held down a lot. I just love being completely submissive and letting a guy have his way with me. Sometimes I wonder if that's bad because it's similar to rape, but it's not like I ever would want to have non-consensual sex. I can't explain it, but I just hope it's not dangerous to enjoy being dominated.

24. I really like watching porn, but I want more porn for women! Unfortunately I really don't want to pay. I love plot lines and emphasis on the girl orgasming and being pleasured as opposed to the guy. I don't get how some things in porn could possibly feel good for a girl. I also like artsy black and white shots of couples having sex.

25. I've been told more than once that I am the horniest girl anyone's ever met. I mean, I might just be. I think about sex probably as often as any 15 year old boy would think about sex, maybe more. Probably part of this is attributed to the fact that I don't masturbate, and I really should. At the same time, I love my sex drive, but it does become a burden when I want it more frequently than my boyfriend does (which happens quite frequently).