Thursday, February 26, 2009

1. My biggest turn ons are rape fantasies, of many variations. I love to imagine that I'm a young girl being taken advantage of by a villainous, attractive, older man.
2. I used to hate my boobs, because they're pretty big. I'm a D or DD and only 5'1". But I've come to love them, because they make me quite popular when my friends and I go out.
3. My mother found my pocket rocket when she came to my house. She thought she'd do me a favor and make my bed for me, but instead, she got a surprise!
4.I love my clitoris.
5. I stopped taking my depression medication three times just because it made orgasms more difficult.
6. I get off on Paula Vogel's play How I Learned to Drive. It's about a girl who has a sexual relationship with her uncle-by-marriage starting when she is 11. This, I guess, is related to #1.
7. I used to be a straightlaced prude. It's so liberating not to be.
8. My friend shared with me the penis sizes of all the guys I know that she'd slept with. Our nickname for one of them is "Magnum".
9. I'M A VIRGIN!!!
10. I often wonder what I will feel like when I lose my virginity. I identified myself as "pure" a lot when I was in high school and early college. To have so totally overthrown my identity is mind-boggling and exhilarating, but when I cross that threshold, I have a feeling I'm going to have to do some adjusting.
11. I don't consider myself bisexual, but looking at women with large breasts definitely turns me on. I consider it my new-found breast-self-love.
12. Maybe I would have sex with a woman. I don't know. I'd definitely kiss one. At least once.
13. I always fall for gangly-skinny guys, but then back out if they start showing interest in me, because what I really want is someone that looks like a MAN. Rape fantasies don't work if you can overpower the guy you're fantasizing about.
14. I think my vagina is about 8 inches long. I measured it.
15. I have a bunch of wigs that I wear when I go out. When I wear a non-traditionally colored one, I get a lot of sexual attention. Once, I got an offer in the first five minutes. I never take these offers, but it makes me feel sexy!
16. Male strip clubs creep me out - but the one time I did go, I was able to orgasm much better afterwards while I was taking my medication.
17. I have absolutely NO GUILT during masturbation. I do it frequently and with gusto!
18. I stopped saving myself for marriage because a friend of mine did it. Sex with her husband was awful, it ruined her marriage, and she's divorced now.
19. I think sex is hilarious. Conversely, guys who make me laugh turn me on.
20. I've heard that the vaginal fluids of vegetarians smell and taste better. When I eat crappy food, I worry that I taste bad down there.
21. Did I mention how much I appreciate masturbation? It helped me get over a crappy body image! Thanks, masturbation!
22. I predict that I will lose my virginity sometime this year. I will not have sex with someone I don't care about immensely, so we'll see how that goes!
23. Even though I've never had sex, I KNOW that I'm really good at it.
24. I lost some stimulating cream. Then, one time, I went to my parents' house, and found it in my old bathroom drawer. I hadn't put it there. Then, I realized - my mother, my grandmother, and my second cousin and reorganized a lot of my old things from when i moved out. My mother, my grandmother, and my second cousin had all seen my stimulating cream. AWESOME!
25. The only guy I've ever kissed has been on stage, during a play. I don't get it. I'm attractive, funny, vivacious, and confident. One male friend of mine said that I may be intimidating to men. I think that's bullshit. Cowboy up and kiss me, already. I'll do it if you won't, motherfuckers.