Friday, February 27, 2009

1. My first sexual crush was Mary Poppins. I was three.

2. Sex was not discussed in my family, so much so that I never got the message that masturbation was forbidden. When my mom hinted that she wanted me to discourage my younger siblings from it, I was very confused, and didn't understand what was 'wrong' with it.

3. I went from never having kissed anyone to having sex in the space of a couple hours. I'm still with her, and I don't regret it. (She was a virgin, too.)

4. I used to say that I was completely unsuperficial: I couldn't tell you if I was attracted to someone just by looking at them, I had to know what their personality was like. I'm getting better at gauging what I 'like,' but I am still overwhelmingly attracted to intellectual or emotional characteristics, not physical ones.

5. I think my partner has ruined me for kissing anyone else. She has the tiniest little button of a nose, and the only time I've ever kissed someone else I was completely freaked out by the length of her nose.

6. I love having my breasts played with. I think I am 10 times more likely to orgasm if my partner is sucking on/playing with my breasts.

7. Call me Mistress or tie me down and I'm yours. I love playing with submission and dominance, in fairly equal amounts.

8. I've been told that I'm really good at phone sex and cyber sex, but I think I can only do it if I haven't met the person in real life.

9. I enjoy it when sex has a spiritual component, but that's not a requirement for me. I like seeing the goddess in my partner's eyes, but I like taking her quickly in the shower, too.

10. Although I've never had casual sex, I think it'd be good for me and I'd be good at it.

11. I first consciously realized I was attracted to girls when I was 17. She was my best friend, and a deeply religious conservative. I've never told her, because I'm afraid she'll be disgusted by me.

12. I've never seen an adult male penis in person. I'm not absolutely sure one would freak me out, but pictures, videos and descriptions of them give me the full-body heebie jeebies, so I'm not optimistic.

13. But I would like to try having sex with a guy sometime. I can't decide if it would be better to choose some random person or a friend.

14. I'm polyamorous. I always knew my preferred relationship model didn't match the monogamous heterosexual one, but I didn't always know there were other people like me. Reading "The Ethical Slut" changed my life.

15. I enjoy testing gender boundaries. I like dressing up in skirts and suits equally, but I wish cutting my hair wasn't such a big commitment. I'd love to go from my current waist-length tresses to a D.A. and back in the space of a day.

16. I don't understand the politics of anti-penetration lesbians. When I fuck my partner with a silicone apparatus, I am not aping hetero sex, I am stimulating her erogenous zones ... and she likes it, dammit.

17. My first experience with erotica was f/f Star Trek fanfic. It remains my favourite genre of erotica to this day. I recommend Gun Brooke and Bailey B.

18. My second experience was Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy. I read the whole thing on a bus trip home from a church convention in Florida. "What're you reading, there? You seem awfully interested in it." "Oh, you know, about Sleeping Beauty." Best bus ride ever.

19. My primary porn pet peeve is 'lesbians' with enormous acrylic nails. Yeah, right! If there's going to be nails involved, there's going to be gloves involved, end of story.

20. I definitely do not consider gloves to be a turn-off. Only adds to the whole medical-hotness thing my partner knows how to rock.

21. The two cultural taboos I'm currently trying to work out my feelings regarding are incest and age of consent. I think incest is OK if there's no possibility of children. I also think children are sexual beings and methods used to raise and educate them need to take that into account, and not just make them feel guilty and embarrassed.

22. It really disturbs me that so many people place such emphasis on virginity. Also waiting to have sex until 'marriage.'

23. Blood does not bother me in the slightest. I'd really like to have sex with my partner when she's menstruating, but the idea is not at all attractive to her.

24. I'd also like her to draw blood more often when we have sex, but she's worried this desire is related to my self-mutilation issues.

25. I like talking about sex and sexuality with my friends. We all try to test the boundaries of what each of us is comfortable discussing, and I'm glad of the expansion my own boundaries have undergone as a result.